Sunday, September 28, 2014
The Whistleblower Week in Review
OUR NUMBER ONE VALUES VOTERS/ ERIC HOLDER RESIGNATION IN DISGRACE STORY THIS WEEK was when Texas Congressman Louie Gohmert, who had only been calling for many years for Holder to resign, said: “Not only has he lied before members of Congress and, ultimately, been held in contempt, he has obfuscated the truth and been the most partisan, partial, prejudiced and self-pitying attorney general in my lifetime, including John Mitchell, who went to jail for his crime.”- OUR NUMBER TWO VALUES VOTERS/ ERIC HOLDER RESIGNATION IN DISGRACE STORY THIS WEEK was when Fellow Texas Congressman Steve Stockman said Eric Holder is “getting out while the getting is good, since Holder knows the House is after him to produce his emails in the IRS scandal involving Lois Lerner, and he wants to get out now, in the possibility the Republicans control both the House and Senate after the November elections.”
- AND OUR NUMBER THREE VALUES VOTERS/ ERIC HOLDER RESIGNATION IN DISGRACE STORY THIS WEEK was when Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachmann said, “Holder will be remembered for his total disregard for the Constitution and the rule of law, which has become emblematic of the lawless Obama administration,” and Oklahoma Congressman James Lankford said Holder has “consistently demonstrated to the American people that the main task during his tenure has been to protect the White House and the White House agenda, more than pursue justice to the fullest extent.”
- MONDAY in our Special “Negative Advertising” E-dition, The Blower said, “How can you criticize without being critical?”
Remember when the Morning Fishwrap published that letter from a reader who claimed he was constantly amazed at how many individuals disagreed with a politician by criticizing him or her with the harshest words they could imagine? Our Ridiculous Reader said referring to someone as “stupid,” “inept,” “dishonest,” or with other derogatory adjectives will not change the viewpoint of a strong supporter of that person. Facts (real facts), our Ridiculous Reader claimed, would sway the other side, but not name calling.
Was that guy nuts?
That’s just the kind of touchy-feely Rodney King “Can’t We All Get Along?” claptrap you’d expect the Feckless Femmes on Skaggie Maggie’s idiotorial board to publish. It’s no wonder The Fishwrap and our local Society of Unprofessional Journalists still can’t understand why so many of their Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Voters Put Obama In The White House—Twice, who still subscribe to their lame-brained publication don’t understand the world around them.
[READ MORE HERE]
- TUESDAY in our Special “Nasty Name-Calling” E-dition, The Blower said, “Sticks and stones may break your bones, but names will never hurt me!” and our “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” included:
Please stop ridiculing us whenever we say you shouldn’t criticize politicians by calling them nasty names, even though “Nasty Name-Calling” is a Primary Progressive Political Premise. — Liberal Agenda Letter Writers
Aren’t these the same hypocrites who agreed with my recent ruling legalizing “Politicians’ Right to Lie” for Finney’s Fibbers during political campaigns? —Liberal Whacko Judge Tim Black
The answer to “Nasty Name-Calling” in politics is not to force silence (by forbidding “Nasty Name-Calling”) but to encourage “Nasty Name-Calling” in response, so the voters, not the Government, can decide what the political truth is. —American Civil Liberties Union
We really like the way The Blower criticizes politicians in the harshest possible terms, especially when they call a spade a spade, a lying bitch a lying bitch, a corrupt political party boss corrupt, and a masturbating trustee a masturbator. —Persons of Consequence Permitted to Subscribe to The Blower
Our readers especially enjoy the Nasty Nicknames Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane makes us come up with. —Whistleblower Summer Interns Olivia, Damon, Wyatt, and Tristan
“Nasty Name-Calling” is an important part of the 2014 Negative Political Advertising Season, now in full swing. —Greedy TV Ad Salesmen
[READ MORE HERE]
- WEDNESDAY in our Official “Jewish New Year” E-dition, The Blower said “Happy 5775, Everybody!”
Obama’s Official Jewish New Year Greetings
Everybody’s waiting to hear Obama’s really sincere Jewish New Year greetings at sundown tonight wishing rich Jewish donors a year of peace while making a thinly-veiled plug for his “Phony Baloney Economic Recovery” speech series in his video greeting for those celebrating the Jewish High Holidays. [WATCH IT HERE, IF YOU MUST]
Tuesday morning, Our Novel Peace Prize Winning President couldn’t stop crowing to his flock of White House reporters about his first round of airstrikes against ISIS inside Syria. And who says Obama couldn’t command a mighty coalition? Arab Military Powerhouses like Bahrain, Qatar, Saudi Arabia, and the United Arab Emirates were also given credit for being in on the attack. Any comparisons among the Man in the Empty Hawk Suit, Reagan, and Bush was truly ridiculous.
Jews in Cincinnati remember two years ago during the Rosh Hashanah when Obama came to town on another over-taxed payer funded campaign and fund-raising trip to conduct High Holiday Services at Murray Seasongood Pavilion in Eden Park for all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Voters Put Obama In The White House—Twice.
[READ MORE HERE]
- THURSDAY, in our Special “Specious Speeches” E-dition, The Blower said, “Only 848 More Days!”
Another Truly Historic Event
AT THE UNITED NATIONS: Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus borrowed a phrase from Abe Lincoln when he reported “the world will little note nor long remember” Obama’s 2014 Annual United Nations Speech on Wednesday where the Sorriest President in U.S. History continued his Apology Tour for America’s becoming more “Racist” during his administration, and tried once again to explain why all those Murdering Islamic Terrorists he’s bombing the bejesus out of are not really “Islamic,” while the Dissociated Press fact-check on Obama’s climate change speech accused the president of clearly spinning the facts and distorting the truth about America’s response to global warming. Meanwhile, at yet another fund-raiser (for two Disingenuous DemocRAT Senators) on Tuesday, Obama hailed himself as “American Leadership At Its Best.”- TODAY’S “LIBERALS SAY THE STUPIDEST THINGS” AWARD goes to PBSNBC’s Chris Matthews for saying “It’s Racist To Use Word ‘Islamic’ When Talking About Islamic Terrorism.”
- HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1789, the first Congress of the United States approved the Bill of Rights, and sent it to the states for ratification. It’s been all downhill for America since then. Public approval of Congress now sits an all-time low, so that means all of the incumbents will be voted out in only 40 more days, right? Unfortunately, The Blower says don’t count on it.
[READ MORE HERE]
- FRIDAY, in our “Just Another Guest Column E-dition, The Blower explained, “But It’s Still the Same Old BS!”
Why, it’s none other than the Honest Politician we found, Clint Webb who’s running for Senate. Instead of informing voters about his political plans, ideas, and examples of great leadership, Webb explains what it is about his appearance, family, and other seemingly unrelated political topics that make him perfect for the Senate. Webb is even more honest than “Honest Gil” Fulbright, the Fake U.S. Senate Candidate who is not really running against Ditzy DemocRAT Alison Wondergams Grimes and Senate Minority Leader Bitch McConnell in Kentucky. Now you see where that Republican Hamilton County Auditor Candidate got the idea for his campaign video.
Which is why The Blower is honored to choose our next Senator to be this week’s guest editor and choose three items plus a Quickie for today’s E-dition from our Current Cadre of Conservative Columnists and Contributors that you probably won’t see reported in your Morning Fishwrap.
[READ MORE HERE]
- SATURDAY in Special “Holder’s Heritage” E-dition, The Blower said, “He Was Always Putting Politics Before the Law!
Good Riddance to Bad Politics
Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus says everybody’s still talking about Eric Holder’s resignation, when the most corrupt Attorney General in History announced he was cutting-and-running after nearly six years as Obama’s hatchet man at the Department of Justice. Curiously, only 65% of American Voters thought Holder’s decisions have been motivated by politics. Holder’s Contempt of Congress will still proceed. Photoshop Editorial Spoofer Edward Cropper gives us his take.
Republicans seem glad to see Holder go, although they’d probably prefer to see him perp-walking out of office in handcuffs. Texas Congressman Louie Gohmert has only been calling for many years for Holder to resign: “Not only has he lied before members of Congress and, ultimately, been held in contempt, he has obfuscated the truth and been the most partisan, partial, prejudiced and self-pitying attorney general in my lifetime, including John Mitchell, who went to jail for his crime.”
Fellow Texas Congressman Steve Stockman says Eric Holder is “getting out while the getting is good, since Holder knows the House is after him to produce his emails in the IRS scandal involving Lois Lerner, and he wants to get out now, in the possibility the Republicans control both the House and Senate after the November elections.
[READ MORE HERE]
The Libtard Show With Dixon Diaz
This Week’s Top Items On The Liberal Agenda
BARACK OBAMA, WARRIOR PRESIDENT: As U.S. military operations in the Middle East increase in number, President Obama’s dovish critics grow increasingly agitated. And this agitation is not without reason: Obama, who in 2009 received the Nobel Peace Prize, has bombed seven countries in the six years that he has been in office. Displeasure with the president’s increasingly hawkish policies reached a new high Thursday when the Economist released the following image depicting Obama as former President George W. Bush.- ALSO THIS WEEK: 1,600 “Military Advisers” sent to Iraq can go on combat missions, fire their weapons, call in airstrikes, but we don’t consider them “Ground Troops”… ISIS responds to Obama bombing Syria by seizing more territory… ISIS overruns another Iraqi army base, executes 300 soldiers… Obama bans FBI from using religion to assess terror threats… Susan Rice says when Obama repeatedly boasted about defeating Al-Qaeda he didn’t mean All Of Al-Qaeda… One of White House’s favorite “Moderate” Syrian Rebel Groups condemns Obama for bombing ISIS… White House Spokesman asked if Obama is clueless about his disrespectful salute: “I Don’t Know”… More Americans think Romney would be doing a better job than Obama, 42%-37%…
- OTHER FOREIGN POLICY FAILURES: Imam Kerry claims “Muslim Scholars are outraged about The Islamic State’s Brutality and Perversion Of Islam”… Pledges $15 Million to help catch cow farts…
- POLLS FOR TROLLS: Obama’s approval rating in Deep Blue New York hits new low, 39%… Obama’s Approval rating has been underwater for entire year… Just 25% think Hillary Clinton would be a better president than Obama… Majority saw Holder’s Justice Department motivated by politics…
- RACIAL RACKETEERING: Feds to investigate after grand jury declines to charge white cops in fatal shooting of “man” holding a pellet gun at Ohio Walmart… Eric Holder Tells Ferguson Police To Stop Wearing Bracelets Showing Support For White Officer… Ferguson protesters turns violent …again… Al Sharpton Says He’s Helping The White House Pick The Next Attorney General…
- AMNESTY FOR FUTURE DEMOCRAT VOTERS: Most Illegals Immigrants caught in recent surge have vanished… More than 40,000 illegals recently caught crossing the border failed to show up for Immigration Hearings… Muslim Immigration to America jumps from 1.5 Million to nearly 2.5 Million… Pentagon planning to allow Illegal Aliens to enlist…
- SUPPORTING SODOMY RITES: Obama says Holder “Opened Door” to Gay Marriage by refusing to defend Federal Law…
- GLOBAL WARMING: Homeland Security moves to protect America from “Climate Change”… Anniversary: October 1st will mark 18 years of No Global Warming…
- G-UNCONTROL: Armed company official shot Oklahoma beheading suspect, saving others from being killed… Ohio gas station clerk shot during robbery, returns fire, takes out two of three suspects
- SCALPING THE WASHINGTON REDSKINS: Indian Tribe calls for boycotting FedEx until Redskins change their name…
- LIBERAL BRAINWASHING IN SCHOOLS: Yale to host radical Islamic cleric who advocated killing U.S. soldiers… Harvard gives student full ride after he informs them he’s an illegal immigrant…
- MAKING SURE NOT TO HURT THE FEELINGS OF ALL THOSE MURDERING MUSLIM BASTARDS: Muslim Convert in Oklahoma beheads co-worker after failing to convert her to Islam… Media deliberately leave out the Muslim connection in stories about beheading in Oklahoma….then call it “Workplace Violence”… Oklahoma Muslim who beheaded co-worker has Islamic Greeting tattooed on his Chest… Al Sharpton keynoting dinner for group linked to Hamas… CAIR praises Obama for claiming Islam is a religion of peace during U.N. Speech… Abbas praises Obama and Kerry during UN Speech, accuses Israel of “Genocide”…
- OTHER LIBERAL AGENDA ITEMS INCLUDE Abortion (Baby Killing Updates), PC (If It’s Politically Correct, You Can’t Object), Fanatic Feminism, Tree Hugging, Keeping People From Smoking, Diversity Uber Alles, Unions Blues, Voting Rights For People Who Are Too Stupid To Vote, Streetcars, and Giving Away Free Stuff With Your Money
- TODAY’S “LIBERALS SAY THE STUPIDEST THINGS” AWARD goes to PMSNBC Commentator Chris Matthews, who claimed “Jihadists Are Just Like Poor Black Americans Looking for Jobs.” It seems the Loony Left eft so desperate not to place any blame on ideology, on Islam, for terrorism, that they have to go all in on blaming economics. And so a really sane conclusion to them is that Black Americans are just like jihadist terrorists – they’re all just looking for a job. [WATCH IT HERE]
The Feck Stops Here
This Week, our Feckless Fishwrappers really outdid themselves celebrating the Jewish New Year by giving all that publicity to some Silly Anti-Semite NoKY Senate Candidate nobody ever heard of who stands on a street corner in Florence with his “With Jews We Lose” sign. Then, they gave that Schmuck even more publicity when they publicized a Catholic bagel maker from Crescent Springs who was giving away extra “challah” bread as his symbol of religious tolerance.
Also this week, Fishwrappers published a letter from Karen Dabdoub, executive director of the Cincinnati chapter of the Council on American-Islamic Relations whining about Conservative Columnist Walter Williams’ column about how multiculturalism gives Islamists a foot in the door.
But do you think we’ll see any local coverage of Racebaiter #1 Al Sharpton’s appearance as the keynote speaker at CAIR’s 20th anniversary banquet on Saturday, since CAIR’s Board Chairwoman only lives in Erlanger? NewsBusters says Sharpton, who is Obama’s “go-to man on race,” and who claims to be helping the White House pick outgoing Attorney General Eric Holder’s successor, will be a guest of honor of the group, which was listed as a co-conspirator in a criminal case against an Islamic charity that raised millions for Hamas.
It’s just like The Fishwrap always says: It’s not Baseball, Mom, or Apple Pie that have always made our area great, it’s our “Diversity.”
Whistleblower Guest Column and Election Letter Policy
Here are The Blower’s guidelines for elections-related guest columns and letters to the editor.
Columns must be no more than 100 words, but letters may be up to 57 words.
All letters and columns are subject to extreme editing. Columns must include a color nude photo (jpg format) and a complete background check of the author.
For levies and ballot issues, we will run one column opposed to the issue and one column against. Columns should be from official anti-levy groups.
More Politics Unusual
OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER liked Jimmy Fallon’s “Attorney General Eric Holder announced today that he is resigning after five years with the administration. Obama said, ‘Wait, you can do that?’ “
LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” #261 is to say to a liberal, “You remember the Reagan era, when Ronald Reagan was President, and Bob Hope and Johnny Cash were still with us? Well, now we have Obama, no hope, and no cash.”- THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says, “What if they gave an election and nobody came? Voters are pretty fed up with the cast of characters now on the national political stage.” Just 22% consider Barack Obama’s presidency a success. Even Disgruntled DemocRATS don’t think a campaign visit by the president to their state this fall is a good idea for their party’s candidates.
IN LAST WEEK’S COLUMN FROM PATRONAGE COUNTY TITLED “Have a Nice Weekend,” We all found out one sure sign of the high degree in which the work ethic is held by most Americans these days is everybody’s fanatical obsession with telling everyone they meet to have a nice weekend. This op-ed column first appeared in the feisty Mt. Washington Press personally edited by eminently renowned publisher Dennis Nichols on August 15, 1984- HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1918, Private Henry Tandey, a British soldier serving near the French village of Marcoing, reportedly encountered a wounded German soldier and declined to shoot him, sparing the life of then-29-year-old Lance Corporal Adolf Hitler. Today, no doubt Obama would celebrate Private Tandey’s compassion, and American Jews would have yet another reason to love Obama even more.
- MAYBE THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Michelle Malkin’s “Who needs enemies when you’ve got Republican Surrenderists for ObamaCare waiting in the wings?”
MORE POLITICAL POETRY: It’s almost time for our Autumnal Equinox, and we have another timely poem from Bunky Tadwell, the Bard of Cleves.
September Screwing
The lady likes to have her fun
But not to become a mama.
So she took her daily birth control
And mailed the bill to Obama.
THE MUCK STOPS HERE: With Ohio now appealing Liberal Whacko Judge Tim Black’s ruling in favor of COAST’s Avaricious Attorney Chris Finney’s case to allow those same politicians the “Right to Lie” during political campaigns the Muck will still be flying during only 37 more days until the 2014 Midterm Election.
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL: Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible. [READ MORE HERE]
THE FREE GRAIN PARTY still stands as the last refuge of anyone willing to help himself from the stores of others, but according to The Weekly Standard, there are 124.5 million Americans in their prime working years (ages 25–54). Nearly one-quarter of this group—28.9 million people, or 23.2 percent of the total—is not currently employed. They either became so discouraged that they left the labor force entirely, or they are in the labor force but unemployed. This group of non-employed individuals is more than 3.5 million larger than before the recession began in 2007,” writes the Republican side of the Senate Budget Committee.
Free Grain Party Members include all DemocRATS, RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.
Unfortunately, that group probably doesn’t include all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice.
FINALLY AT SATURDAY’S MEETING OF CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about his plan to balance The Blower’s “Liberals Say the Stupidest Thing” Award every day with the snappiest “Conservative Comeback” for the same day.
“It’s harder than we thought,” Kane explained. “There are a lot of stupid things Liberals say every day to choose from. But you wouldn’t believe how difficult it is to find a real zinger from a Conservative.”
IS IT COLLECTION TIME AGAIN?
Once again, it’s “Collection Time,” and this weekend your Neighborhood News Boy or Girl will be stopping by to collect $3.50 for delivery of this month’s Blower. The children retain half of this amount plus any tips you give them to reward good service.
This week we’re featuring “Gex” Wanker, a bright little 9-year-old Bluegrass boy at Ridgerunner Elementary School, whose cruel classmates continue to taunt him mercilessly, not just because he’s years older than the other kindergartners, but because his name “Gex” rhymed with “Sex.” For information about our carrier program, please call Mr. Scamwell at our circulation department.
AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”:
- Monday (September 29) we’ll be featuring “Not Losing Your Head Over Beheading,” while we’re continuing to count down the 845 Days of Dishonesty and Division for America remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless the First Black President in History is impeached.
- Tuesday (September 30) we’ll celebrating Early DemocRAT Voter Fraud in Ohio, unless the U.S. Supreme Court delays a federal judge’s order that expands the early voting schedule this fall.
- Wednesday, (October 1) we’ll be checking on the Ohio Elections Commission’s appeal of Liberal Whacko Judge Tim Black’s ruling in favor of COAST’s Avaricious Attorney Chris Finney’s case to allow those same politicians the “Right to Lie” during political campaigns.
- Thursday (October 2) we’ll be checking to see if the League of Women Vipers is banning the Pledge of Allegiance at their local candidate forums.
- The first line of Friday’s (October 3) limerick is: “It’s only about four more weeks till elections.”
- And Saturday (October 4) is “Yom Kippur” when it’s safe to invite your Jewish friends out for lunch.
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Derided DemocRAT Attorney General Candidate David Pepper whose political history in Cincinnati contains many interesting antidotes, as this Award Winning Illustration from Artis Conception’s Archives clearly shows.
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
e-mail your revolutionary recaps today
Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
Whistleblower Video of the Day
The Worst of Eric Holder
(Sent in by the Washington Free Beacon, with items of interest to members of the Conservative Agenda.)
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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