Friday, September 26, 2014
Searching For An Honest Politician
Political Liars are really off to the races until the all-important 2014 Midterm elections and Early DemocRAT Voter Fraud starts at The Hamilton County Board of Elections next Tuesday at 8 AM, especially after Tim Black, the same Liberal Whacko Judge who ruled in favor of Same Sex Marriage, also ruled in favor of COAST’s Avaricious Attorney Chris Finney’s case to allow those same politicians the “Right to Lie” during political campaigns.
Greedy TV Ad Salesmen are celebrating, too. Have you ever seen so much Negative Political Advertising in your life?
Our Feckless Fishwrappers, who agree with all of Judge Black’s Liberal Rulings, say, “What’s the hurry? We still have 39 more days until November 4 to begin reporting about all of Finney’s Fibbers, who’re already taking advantage of their legal right to lie.
How else are all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Voters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, supposed to know which Liberal Candidate to choose this year.
Note: Now you see why those Five Fine Clowns on Cincinnati City (including The Windbag) who now want Cincinnati City Mangler Harry Black to “meet and engage with Deadbeat Liz Rogers and her lawyer for her now-closed Mahogany’s Restaurant at the Banks, worked so hard to get Local Dumbed-Down Voters to give them four year terms last year.
Still, The Blower has continued to look an Honest Politician. You bet! As the official publication of record for all that political scrambling, speculation, mud-slinging, and back-stabbing in the Tri-state, our readers expect nothing less. Less than two weeks ago, Award Winning Illustrator Artis Conception’s Archives showed us Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane Diogenes Foster Kane searching for the Truth years ago at Cincinnati City Hall.
Now Let’s Meet Today’s Guest Editor:
Why, it’s none other than the Honest Politician we found, Clint Webb who’s running for Senate. Instead of informing voters about his political plans, ideas, and examples of great leadership, Webb explains what it is about his appearance, family, and other seemingly unrelated political topics that make him perfect for the Senate. Webb is even more honest than “Honest Gil” Fulbright, the Fake U.S. Senate Candidate who is not really running against Ditzy DemocRAT Alison Wondergams Grimes and Senate Minority Leader Bitch McConnell in Kentucky. Now you see where that Republican Hamilton County Auditor Candidate got the idea for his campaign video.
Which is why The Blower is honored to choose our next Senator to be this week’s guest editor and choose three items plus a Quickie for today’s E-dition from our Current Cadre of Conservative Columnists and Contributors that you probably won’t see reported in your Morning Fishwrap.
- TOP TEN INDICATORS THAT YOUR EMPLOYER HAS CHANGED TO OBAMA’S HEALTH CARE PLAN: By Podiatrist/Congressman Doctor Brad Wenstrup
(10) Your annual breast exam is done at Hooters.
(9) Directions to your doctor’s office include “Take a left when you enter the trailer park.”
(8) The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgsicles ®.
(7) The only proctologist in the plan is “Gus” from Roto-Rooter.
(6) The only item listed under Preventative Care Coverage is “an apple a day.”
(5) Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.
(4) “The patient is responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges,” is not a typographical error.
(3) The only expense covered 100% is …. Embalming.
(2) Your Prozac comes in different colors with little Ms on them.
AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOU’VE JOINED OBAMA’S HEALTH CARE PLAN is… You ask for Viagra, and they give you a Popsicle stick and duct
tape.
- HOW THE BLACK FOLK HAS HELPED THE ECONOMY By Rufus Redneck
What people don’t realize is how the black folk grew our economy higher than it could ever have grown without them. Here’s an example: When blacks moved into the white areas in the 60s, they acted like fools with their “jiving” and “jacking around” and the whites didn’t want to live around that shit, so they worked two jobs and sold their houses and moved away to the suburbs, and built new houses and the forest and lumber industries grew and the hardware stores grew and millions of dollars surged into the economy building new roads so the whites could get to work from their new houses.
Then the blacks started robbing and stealing because they were stupid and unqualified for jobs because they “jived around” at school instead of learning and the whites had to buy replacement stuff and the economy grew even stronger.
Since the blacks were unemployed they started hanging around and drinking malt liquor and the malt liquor makers had to expand and add more workers so the economy grew stronger again.
The blacks started shooting people and the hospitals grew and new ones were built and more cops, nurses and doctors were required. People had to buy guard dogs and security alarm companies grew stronger. Pet stores then sprung up everywhere to sell stuff for the guard dogs.
Then the blacks were thrown into jail and new jails had to be built and more guards were hired and the economy grew even stronger than before.
Then the DemoicRATS created Welfare, so all the blacks went on Welfare and the whites had to work harder to support them, and the economy grew stronger. Then the blacks bought fancy cars and the auto industry grew and TV makers were thrilled cause they could produce shows like “Cops” and “Most Wanted,” and whites bought more guns and lots and lots of ammunition to keep the blacks out of their shit, so gun manufacturing jobs grew.
So you see, we owe a lot to the black folk, so stop being so prejudiced!
Funny, it’s OK to make jokes about Catholics, the Pope, Jews, Christians, the Irish, the Italians, the Polish, etc., etc., but it’s insensitive to make jokes about black people. The sooner we are all on same level playing field the better.
- YOU MAY BE A MUSLIM By Jeff Foxworthy
If you refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor, you may be a Muslim.
If you own a £3,000 machine gun and a $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can’t afford shoes, you may be a Muslim.
If you have more wives than teeth, you may be a Muslim.
If you wipe your butt with your bare hand but consider bacon to be unclean, you may be a Muslim.
If you think vests come in two styles (Bullet-proof and suicide), you may be a Muslim
If you can’t think of anyone you haven’t declared jihad against, you may be a Muslim.
If you consider television dangerous but routinely carry explosives in your clothing, you may be a Muslim.
If you were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs, you may be a Muslim.
If you have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four, you may be a Muslim.
And if you find this offensive or racist and don’t forward it, you may be a Muslim.
- AND A QUICKIE By Your Kroger Pharmacist
YOU KNEW THIS WAS COMING!
Effective sometime in 2014, aspirin will be heavily taxed under ObamaCare.
The only explanation given was that they’re white and they work. No other reason was given.
These items are perfect to forward to all of your Internet Buddies and Facebook Friends with too much time on their hands.
Stories We’re Working On
Obama Blasts ISIS Oil Refineries/ Gasoline Prices Expected to Rise- Obama’s Racist Attorney General Eric Holder Finally Resigns Before He Was Impeached
- Both DemocRATS and Republicans Using Holder’s Resignation for Fundraising
- Vipers Outraged To Be Compared With League of Women Voters
- Common Core Protesters Greet Ohio Lieutenant Governor Mary Taylor
- Early Vote Fraud Begins in Ohio Next Tuesday
- Mahogany’s Still Closed
Whistleblower Web Poll
This week, here’s why the first 17,648 Whistleblower Readers Poll respondents said you should never believe media polls:
(A) Rigged questions: 2%
(B) Paid-off pollsters: 1%
(C) Hand-picked respondents: 1%
(D) Liberal Media Bias: 96%
Note: Everything we write doesn’t have to be so damn cynical and mean-spirited, it’s just so much more fun that way!
TODAY’S “LIBERALS SAY THE STUPIDEST THINGS” WINNER IS…
Eric Holder, the most corrupt Attorney General in History, who once claimed, “I don’t have any intention of resigning.” Curiously, many people had been hoping to see Obama’s Controversial Hatchet-Man led away in handcuffs on Thursday, especially those 65% of Voters who thought decisions at Holder’s Justice Department have been motivated by politics. Holder’s Contempt of Congress will still proceed.
Weekly Whistleblower Limerick Contest
No Playoff Pressures
This week, everybody who doesn’t have to wonder what that giant sucking sound coming from Mediocre American Ball Park is, e-mailed an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.
The winner is long-time Cincinnati Reds fan Farley Fairweather, who remembers when baseball players cared about the game, instead of just their fat paychecks. Farley wins a pennant from 1919, when the Reds won their first World Series, but only because the Chicago Black Sox threw the games; 477 marked-down sweatshirts from the Reds Over-priced Apparel and Merchandise Store, and his name entered in the lottery of people who may be picked to mortgage their houses so they can buy a ticket to next year’s All Star Game in Cincinnati. His winning limerick is:
When the Reds didn’t clinch the pennant this year
And we are all crying in our beer
We saw it was tough
When we said, “not close enough,”
And then we all hoped for next year.
Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall writes
When the Reds didn’t clinch the pennant this year
We’d all hoped they‘d gotten it in gear
But pitchers gave games away
And hitters forgot how to play,
It’ll be no more post-season for us, I fear.
And from the Anderson Laureate (who now knows why his poetic license is being revoked):
When the Reds didn’t clinch the pennant this year
What a shame the Old Left-Hander wasn’t here.
Ol’ Joe and Marty
Made each game a party
And now Nux is in heaven having a beer.
The first line of next week’s limerick is:
“It’s only about four more weeks till Elections”
ERIC HOLDER RESIGNATION HOT LINE
E-mail your rants and slants today
Some “Good Riddance” items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally “Good Riddance” wishing subscribers.
Whistleblower Video of the Day
Clint Webb for Senate Campaign Commercial
(Sent in The Whitest Kids You Know)
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
