Thursday, September 25, 2014

Another Truly Historic Event

AT THE UNITED NATIONS: Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus borrowed a phrase from Abe Lincoln when he reported “the world will little note nor long remember” Obama’s 2014 Annual United Nations Speech on Wednesday where the Sorriest President in U.S. History continued his Apology Tour for America’s becoming more “Racist” during his administration, and tried once again to explain why all those Murdering Islamic Terrorists he’s bombing the bejesus out of are not really “Islamic,” while the Dissociated Press fact-check on Obama’s climate change speech accused the president of clearly spinning the facts and distorting the truth about America’s response to global warming. Meanwhile, at yet another fund-raiser (for two Disingenuous DemocRAT Senators) on Tuesday, Obama hailed himself as “American Leadership At Its Best.”
TODAY’S “LIBERALS SAY THE STUPIDEST THINGS” AWARD goes to PBSNBC’s Chris Matthews for saying “It’s Racist To Use Word ‘Islamic’ When Talking About Islamic Terrorism.”
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1789, the first Congress of the United States approved the Bill of Rights, and sent it to the states for ratification. It’s been all downhill for America since then. Public approval of Congress now sits an all-time low, so that means all of the incumbents will be voted out in only 40 more days, right? Unfortunately, The Blower says don’t count on it.
THAT’S WHY YOUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Ronald Reagan’s “Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.”
AT CINCINNATI CITY HALL: It didn’t take Diminutive DemocRAT Mayor John Cranley’s New Fun Czar very long to come up with something for Our Nine Fine Clowns to debate this week after Original Soul Food Six Members Wendell Young, Yvette Simpson, Charlie Windbag, P.G. Sittenfeld, and Clown-cil Gay Chris Squealback, who’d originally voted against pissing away $1 million of over-taxed payers’ money actually signed a motion asking that new City Mangler Harry Black “meet and engage with Deadbeat Liz Rogers and her lawyer for her now-closed Mahogany’s Restaurant at the Banks to exploring ways to protect the over-taxed payers’ investment in light of the business’ recent closure.” No wonder the Business Crapper Editor Rob Daumeyer apologized for reporting that stupid story.
DYKES ON BIKES: Commenting on another one of The Fishwrap’s Politically Correct Affirmative Action Liberal Agenda items, Conservative Curmudgeon Stu Mahlin says Bleeding Heart Bradley Hinger of Oakley writes, in part: “…the program puts a value judgment on which residents should/could be able to use these bikes. … The $1.1 million set aside for this project has been made possible by all Cincinnatians but will be enjoyed only by those a select few. Piffle. Those who don’t have credit cards in all likelihood don’t pay taxes. The “select few” — those who DO who pay the taxes and ARE credit-worthy — SHOULD have access to those bikes. No tickee, no washee.
CRIMES ON CAMPUS: If Sexual Assault isn’t a big problem at UC these days, why’d Provost Beverly Davenport a list of on-campus resources for sexual assault support and advocacy services?
PROTEST PLANNED: Will Ohio GOP Governor’s sidekick Mary Taylor really be showing up at 11 AM Thursday morning for a meet and greet at the Wenstrup Victory Center? Word is Common Core opponents are planning a big protest, just to make her feel welcome.
WHISTLEBLOWER INTERNS Olivia, Damon, Wyatt, and Tristan say 23 years ago, when The Whistleblower used to be printed and delivered all over town, Issue # 70 published on September 24, 1991 including an item where the Whistleblower was standing by the accuracy of its reporting.

IN ANDERSON: Channel 9 “Substantially True News “reported an Anderson Township Investment Counselor pleaded guilty to running an $8.7 million fraudulent investment scheme, but they forgot to show pictures of the inside of that nice little house where the Ponzi Guy lived. TEA Party Republican Anderson Trustee Andy Pappas said he was really surprised. He didn’t know Disgraced Former Anderson Trustee Kevin O’Brien was still in the investment counseling business.

In a related item, Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall says he’s surprised none of the other local sports reporters had explained why Cincinnati Reds Fireballer Aroldis Chapman had moved all his stuff out of that Anderson Oaks house.

Also in Anderson, everybody’s counting the days till that League of Women Vipers Candidates Forum scheduled for October between returning 27th Ohio House District State Rep-Tile “TaxKiller Tom” Brinkman and his unnamed DemocRAT Opponent wearing a goofy bow tie at the Anderson Center. The event will also be broadcast live on Anderson Community Cable TV for Warner Cable Subscribers paying that exorbitant Franchise Fee the Township has been skimming for years.

And is some unknown Republican really running for Hamilton County Auditor? That would mean Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP isn’t letting our Disingenuous DemocRAT Double-Dipping County Auditor run unopposed again this time. Or maybe that Republican is really running so he’ll be appointed Judge the first time there’s an open seat.

WHISTLEBLOWER RELIGIOUS EDITOR FIELDING MELLISH says the Ohio Republican Party e-mailed Jewish New Year greetings to all of their friends in the Jewish community. So how come the date said “September 24, 2014,” instead of “Tishri 1, 5775?”

And you shouldn’t look for many Jews to attend political events Wednesday evening, since the celebration of the Jewish New Year began last night. Goyim politicians always seem to overlook that conflict when planning their events. But Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says, “Tomorrow on the Jewish New Year, I’ll be trying HARD to find some Jews in Northern Kentucky to wish a Happy Holiday.” Rick “The Bat Boy” Robinson says, “Maybe the CamBoozler should’ve called me, since those Graydon Head Christmas Parties I used to host at the Fort Mitchell County Club were well known for being the only place Jews have ever been made to feel welcome in Northern Kentucky, but only since 2003.” Whistleblower Alternate Lifestyles Contributors Ben Dover and Phil McKrevis volunteered to “Blow the Shofar” on Jewish New Year’s. Meanwhile, Anti-Semitic Kentucky write-in Senate candidate Robert Ransdell’s “With Jews We Lose” signs celebrated the Jewish New Year in Florence, and Erlanger, KY’s National CAIR Board Chair Roula Allouch will be honoring Racebaiter# 1 Al Sharpton at her our Council on American Islamic Relations’ Annual Banquet this weekend. Our Good Friend Bobby Leach says, “Maybe all those Jewish guys are checking out this link. And Whistleblower Religious Editor Fielding Mellish says, “Who cares how you spell Rosh Hashanah anyway?”

ALSO IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY: Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says the reason Ditzy DemocRAT U.S. Senatorial Candidate Alison Wondergams Grimes’ campaign needs all that money is because of all those guys she’s running against. Not only is she facing U.S. Senate Minority Leader Bitch McConnell, but she’s also running against Karl Rove and the Demon Koch Brothers.

And in today’s “Blower Special High-Altitude Report,” Kevin “Give Em Hell” Sell called the Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane personally to report that he was on a Delta flight reading Sky magazine. The reason for the call was to compliment The Blower on its accuracy. You see, Sell read an article featuring Cincinnati by Bungal AJ Green who said his fave spot in town was Freedom Way and specifically Mahogany’s. We now know why we received so many hits from the air line Wi-Fi. Sell said some passengers asked about the article and he directed them to The Blower for the news they could certainly use. Maybe Delta simply creates their magazines a year in advance?

And at the recent Kenton County employee appreciation dinner, Judge Executive Steve Arlinghaus gave a very nice speech thanking everyone for a successful four years. Meanwhile the new Judge Executive and (past eight years) Commissioner Kris Knochelman did not even show up. Commissioner Beth Sewell was there long enough to see that Knochelman was not there to show her where to sit, so she left.

FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane if those five certifiable members of Cincinnati City Clown-cil had lost their minds insisting new City Mangler Harry Black meet and engage with Deadbeat Liz Rogers and her lawyer for her now-closed Mahogany’s Restaurant at the Banks.

“It got all their names in The Fishwrap,” Kane explained. “Especially The Windbag, who needs all the Black DemocRAT votes he can get in his Ohio State Senate Race against Fellow “Soul Food Six” Mahogany’s Backer Cecil Thomas.” Isn’t it curious our Feckless Fishwrappers didn’t connect those dots?

“And don’t forget,” Kane added, “the same Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Voters Put Obama In The White House—Twice, also elected these same Clowns.”

Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially The Windbag.

Today’s Conservative Political Cartoons

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Today’s e-dition is brought to you by another generous non-refundable donation made during our September fund-raising drive by The Watch Me, Watch Me Five (Original Soul Food Six Members Wendell Young, Charlie Windbag, P.G. Sittenfeld, Yvette Simpson, and Clown-cil Gay Chris Squealback) on Cincinnati City Clown-cil, who just proved they’ll do anything to get their names in the papers.

WHITE HOUSE INTRUDERS HOT LINE

E-mail your Secret Service videos today.

Some Fence-Jumping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally Fence-Jumping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use more

Whistleblower Video of the Day

The Kind of Video our GOP Hamilton County Auditor Candidate should be running, instead of that wussie, touchy-feeling video he just sent out.

Sent in by our Anonymous Andersonian.

Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.

Whistleblower Newswire

Some of the News They Seem to Lose

Special “Specious Speeches” E-dition