Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Tonight on ESPN

This week at the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders have all been waiting for Coach Obama’s pep rally tonight at 9 PM before the American Team’s opening game against the Islamic State Junior College Terrorists. Some of The Blower’s famous friends plan watch too, and then again, some of them don’t.

• OBAMA’S PRESS SECRETARY JOSH EARNEST, who’ll need to see how many of Obama’s lies he’ll have to refute tomorrow, plans to be watching.
• OBAMA’S DOOFUS VICE PRESIDENT JOE BIDEN, who says Obama’s game plan will last long enough for long enough for him to run for President in 2016 on a “Stay the Course” campaign, plans to be watching.
• GOP SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE JOHN BOEHNER, who’s still waiting for Obama to show us his plan along with some balls, plans to be watching.
• OBAMA’S GOOD DEMOCRAT SUPPORTER STEVE JOBS, who has returned from the grave to take all attention away from Obama’s multiple failures to introduce a clunky watch and a big cell phone, plans to be watching.
• OBAMA’S CLUELESS SECRETARY OF STATE JOHN KERRY, who’s busy building Obama’s Anti-ISIS Coalition to demolish the distortion of one of the world’s great peaceful religions, plans to be watching.
• DERANGED DEMOCRAT SENATOR MARK UDALL, who won today’s “Liberals Say The Stupidest Things” Award for claiming those American Journalists beheaded by ISIS would have supported Obama’s wimpy response,” plans to be watching.
• ALTERNATIVE LIFE-STYLES CONTRIBUTORS BEN DOVER AND PHIL MCKREVIS, who are wondering if Obama will be sending gays into combat, plan to be watching.
• ALL THOSE DUMBED-DOWN, SELF-ABSORBED, MEDIA-INFLUENCED, CELEBRITY-OBSESSED, POLITICALLY-CORRECT, UNINFORMED, SHORT-ATTENTION-SPAN, FREE-STUFF GRABBING, LOW-INFORMATION OBAMA VOTERS WHO PUT OBAMA IN THE WHITE HOUSE—TWICE, who just saw the latest polls that said Obama’s a failure, plan to be watching.
• HURLEY THE HISTORIAN, who remembers that on September 10, 2001, Americans had not yet been attacked by those Murdering Muslim terrorists on our own soil, and Obama, his Dysfunctional DemocRATs, and all those Kneepad Liberals in the Press who still believe things have never changed, except that two years ago on September 11, where four Americans were murdered at Obama’s and Hillary’s Benghazi Massacre right before Obama’s re-election, on 9/11’s eleventh anniversary, will definitely be watching.
• OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE, who chose George W. Bush’s “If America shows weakness and uncertainty, the world will drift toward tragedy. That will not happen on my watch,” will be watching.
• SENATOR ROB “FIGHTING FOR FAGGOTRY” PORTMAN, who just saw the results of Citizens for Community Value’s statewide telephone survey where 72% of Republican Values Voters with a high likelihood to vote did not approve of his support for Sodomy Rites, doesn’t plan to be watching.
• OHIO DEMOCRAT GUBERNATORIAL CANDIDATE ED FITZGERALD, who’s busy studying so he can retake the written portion of his driver’s license exam, doesn’t plan to be watching.
• OHIO DEMOCRAT STATE SENATOR STEVICIA REESE, who’s busy trying to get out the Black vote over the shooting of a Fairfield man at Walmart, plans to be watching.
• OHIO DEMOCRAT CONGRESSIONAL CANDIDATE FRED KUNDRATA, who needs to show he’s really a DemocRAT after he only got 3% of the vote as a Republican against “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup two years ago, better be watching.
• HAMILTON COUNTY PROSECUTOR “JAYWALKING JOE” DETERS, who’s breaking new ground prosecuting drug dealers for involuntary manslaughter when their customers die overdosing on heroin, won’t be watching.
• HAMILTON COUNTY RINO PARTY BOSS ALEX T., MALL COP GOP, who’ll be too busy covering up Reds owner Bob Castellini’s son Robert’s and daughter-in-law Deanna’s Domestic Violence cases, along with tweeting pictures of RINO candidates’ yard signs, won’t be watching.
• DITZY DEMOCRAT JUVENILE COURT JUDGE TRACI HUNTER, who’s too busy planning her appeal on all nine of her felonies with her former convict attorney, won’t be watching.
• JUDGE NICK NADEL, who says when I denied Judge Hunter’s lawyers’ motion for a change of venue, I was just trying to protect them from a malpractice suit since they never would’ve gotten a jury pool with a single Black person if I transferred her case to Brown County or Adams County, won’t be watching.
• COAST’S AVARICIOUS ATTORNEY CHRIS FINNEY, who’s waiting to hear how Whacko Liberal Judge Tim Black rules on his Politician’s Right to Lie case, won’t be watching.
• REPUBLICAN HAMILTON COUNTY COMMISSIONERS ME, GREG HARTMANN AND CHRIS MONZEL, who are too busy enjoying watching all the problems Cincinnati City Clown-cil is having these days, won’t have time to watch.
• CINCINNATI DEMOCRAT MIDGET MAYOR JOHN CRANLEY, who’s looking for that list of people who signed the Streetcar Petition, so he can raise their taxes, will be watching.
• DEADBEAT MAHOGANY’S OWNER LIZ ROGERS, who says if only all those racists in Greater Cincinnati liked soul food, she’d still be in business at the Banks, won’t be watching.
• CINCINNATI’S NEW AFFIRMATIVE ACTION CITY MANAGER, although he’s really busying studying his list of Things to Do from The Fishwrap’s Political Columnist Cindi Andrews, will still be watching.
• BROTHERS NICK AND DREW LACHEY, who are busy practicing their steps for this weekend’s Gay Chicken Dance at Oktoberfest, won’t be watching.
• DISGRACED FORMER ANDERSON TRUSTEE KEVIN “SPANKY” O’BRIEN, who says, “Sometimes I show up at ribbon cuttings with all my good friends and supporters and think it’s another Penis Lineup,” won’t be watching.
• WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR SPOILED SPORTS EDITOR ANDY FURBALL, who wonders if the Reds will be eliminated before this weekend, won’t be watching.
• REDS GENERAL MANAGER WALT JOCKETTY, who’s sorry he ever left St. Louis, and will still be celebrating getting $11 million for the Milwaukee Brewers for an over-aged, over-weight, and over-aid closer two weeks ago when he knew the Reds didn’t have a prayer, won’t be watching.
• FECKLESS FISHWRAPPERS, trying to ramp up their unfair and biased coverage of the Liberal Agenda’s #groceries not guns Campaign, will be watching.
• BLUEGRASS BUREAU CHIEF KEN CAMBOO, who says The Meaning of 9/11 has certainly changed during the Obama Administration with Obama’s efforts to “rebrand” the events of this horrific date and turn it into a Left-wing Looney day of national service so they can feel good about hating America, will be watching.
• KENTUCKY’S U.S. SENATE MINORITY LEADER MITCH MCCONNELL who is looking increasingly safe in his re-election bid, after a new NBC News/Marist poll gave him a healthy eight-point lead, will be watching.
• DETERMINED DEMOCRAT ALISON WONDERGAMS GRIMES’ CAMPAIGN, that asked “Would you donate $5 if we promised never to email you again?,” will be watching.
• OUR GOOD FRIEND KENTON COUNTY COMMONWEALTH ATTORNEY E ROB SANDERS, whose “This Week in Kenton Circuit Court” is always bursting at the seams with ugly mugs depicting the usual druggies, thugs, thieves, and scum bags, won’t be watching.
• ERIC “CALL ME CRAZY” DETERS, who’s busy hassling clients looking for competent new attorneys to handle their cases, won’t be watching.
• NATHAN “CORNBREAD” SMITH, who’s still worried about the sewage spills and stench plaguing his Louisville Mobile Home Park, will be watching.
• ERLANGER, KY’S NATIONAL CAIR BOARD CHAIR ROULA ALLOUCH, who says she can hardly wait until the Council on American Islamic Relations’ Annual Banquet on September 27 when she can honor Racebaiter #1 Al Sharpton, will be watching.
• CHANNEL 19’S “TRISH THE DISH,” who’s still wondering why they gave tomorrow’s “9/11” day of remembrance the emergency number you use to call police, will be watching.
• FINALLY, BELOVED WHISTLEBLOWER PUBLISHER CHARLES FOSTER KANE, who says this is just what you can expect for the next 862  Days of Dishonesty and Division for America remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless the First Black President in History is impeached.

Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Kevin “Spanky” O’Brien.

OBAMA’S ISIS STRATEGY HOT LINE

e-mail your clear, unambiguous messages today.

Some Obama-bashing items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally Obama-bashing subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use more.

WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO OF THE DAY

Confusing Question of the Day

Sent in by Jimmy Kimmel Live, whose latest Confusing Question didn’t make any sense, but we still found some Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Voters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, who were willing to answer it.

Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.