MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 1, 2014
Top Ten List
Today it’s the top ten blessings brought to you by organized labor:
10. A three-day Union Day weekend not featuring Obama, Obama’s Doofus Vice President Joe Biden, or Obama‘s Ineffectual Secretary of Labor Thomas E. Perez, trying to explain why union members should still support ObamaCare, along with Obama’s latest jobs strategy to put more people out of work along with more pro-union regulations.
9. Schools that just can’t suck enough
8. Advances in reconstructive kneecap surgery
7. Lying ads to smear Republicans
6. Union labels
5. Part-time workers trying to make SUV payments on $55-a- week strike pay
4. Aiding Devious DemocRATS with more election fraud again in 2014
3. Coffee breaks
2. Crooked Union Bosses
…And the number one blessing brought to you by organized labor is: plenty of volunteers to write hate mail letters and tear down Conservative candidates’ yard signs.
Union Day Message
By Gomper Samuels, Deceased Former Union Leader
As you enjoy your paid holiday today, please try to remember one thing: it would never have been possible without the sacrifice and dedication of union leaders throughout history to make life better for average hard-working people– to end child labor, set minimum wage standards, bring safety to the workplace, a 40-hour work week, and get as many Disingenuous DemocRATS elected to political office as possible.
And if some dishonest public employee union leaders in Cincinnati just happen to be lining their own pockets, you really shouldn’t say anything about it, because, believe me, we know who you are, and we know where you live.
Union Day Message
Hurley the Historian says on this date in 1944, Navy aviator George H.W. Bush and his squadron were hit by Japanese anti-aircraft guns and Bush was forced to bail out of his plane over the ocean, where he was picked up by a U.S. submarine. Do you think any of our Kneepad Liberals in the Press will forget to mention that? Not that any of our Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, would know or care anything about things like that.
Please thank your public school teacher for making sure your children don’t learn such things, since their union is spending all that money warning everybody about Republicans disastrous plan to promote school choice and home-schooling, Support voluntary student-initiated prayer in school, and for there to be a limited role of federal government in education.
A document the National Education Association filed with the U.S. Department of Labor in 2011 indicated that the teachers union donated $100,000 to Media Matters For America nearly four years ago, describing it as a payment for “public relations costs” to ensure that NEA’s agenda made its way in the media.” Media Matters is the George Soros-funded liberal “charitable organization” dedicated to targeting mythical right-wing media bias.
Which is why our Quote for Today Committee chose FDR’s: “The process of collective bargaining, as usually understood, cannot be transplanted into the public service.” A second choice was AFL-CIO-President George Meany’s “It is impossible to bargain collectively with the government.” These days, however AFL-CIO President Richard Trumka says the only way to revive the economy would be for the government to raise everybody’s taxes, borrow more money from China, and piss it all away on projects that would benefit unions.
IN LAST WEEK’S COLUMN FROM PATRONAGE COUNTY TITLED “LABOR DAZE,” our Patronage County Commissioners were talking about why the Labor Day weekend doesn’t seem to be such a big deal these days.. This op-ed column never appeared at any time in the feisty Mt. Washington Press personally edited by eminently renowned publisher Dennis Nichols.
Coney Island Relaxes Rules for Labor Day Picnic
Demo-Labor Party Boss Tim Burka says to celebrate the unofficial end of another Jobless Summer during the Obama Administration (where union members have not yet adjusted to the new reality where GOP lawmakers are doing everything possible to curb their collective bargaining rights), Coney Island says it’s OK for everyone (except dumbed-down RINOs or TEA Party Members foolish enough to wander by) to put up as many signs as they want along the drive or anywhere else in the park.
No union card needed. Bring your own food or buy it at Coney.
Parking at Coney is usually an arm, and admission will cost you a leg.
American made prizes. Free Obama Phones while they last.
Endorsed DemocRAT candidates will also be permitted to hand out self-adhesive stickers (to be placed on light poles, garbage cans, bathroom fixtures, and other structures).
Don’t worry about cleaning up afterwards. Coney Island has many sub-minimum-wage illegal immigrant workers to that kind of work.
Boehner Bashing, Class Warfare, and TEA Party name-calling will begin at 2:30 PM, but you don’t really have to get there early this year, since there will be no added security requirements for a presidential or vice presidential visit slowing admission to the picnic grounds. And it’s doubtful any mention will be made of John Kasich Taylor’s “Proclamation in Honor of Labor Day,” looks just like the one he issued last year, since most people think Ohio’s Republican Governor is probably still using one of Gayvenor Strickland’s old Labor Day Proclamations.
With all of the Ohio Demo-Labor Party’s 2014 State-wide races totally in the crapper, Cincinnati AFL-CIO Executive Secretary Pete McLinden told The Fishwrap flat or declining wages have been a constant for workers everywhere for years, especially in our tri-state area. All the while, CEO pay has skyrocketed, resulting in widening pay gaps and levels of inequality unseen since the onset of the Great Depression. Ohio is no exception. In fact, Innovation Ohio, a progressive think tank, recently released a study which found that Ohio now has more low-wage jobs than higher-paying jobs for the first time since 2007.
Can you imagine how long the lines to get in would be at Coney Island today if somebody there was actually offering full-time, well-paying jobs?
Despite Obama’s “historic” re-election, we still have more Americans unemployed, under-employed, or just not interested in being employed these days. Prices of gasoline are in the tri-state on Labor Day are averaging about $3.44 per-gallon. That’s about twice what they were when Obama was first elected. Fewer Americans each year are saying Labor Day is the nation’s most important holiday, and pollsters say the country disapproves of labor unions even more than last year. But it’s really hard to feel sorry for any of these people, since every one of them voted for Obama twice.
But one of the greatest things about our country is that we’re a resilient, hard-working people, and on this Labor Day weekend, we should remember these values and the things that have made our country the greatest in the world. Do you think any of our Obama Supporters in the Press will mention the irony that on this Labor Day so many people don’t have jobs?
How Will These Ordinary Americans Celebrate Union Day?
Mama Maruska, Retired Homemaker: Cooking for my ungrateful family like I do on every holiday.
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Porky Dorkman, Student: Getting ready to skip school tomorrow.
Marlene Mandible, Totally Unemployable: Paying for three seats on my airline flight.
Earl Pitts, Part-time Taxidermist: Hopin’ my kids don’t get their fingers blowed off with all those illegal fireworks I bought at the truck stop.
Linda Libel, Gossip Columnist:Trying to pick up on the latest hearsay about Ditzy DemocRAT Judge Tracie Hunter.
Suzie Soccermom, TEA Partier: Avoiding being raped, murdered, or run over by police in downtown Cincinnati.
Leroy Williams, Street Corner Pharmacist: Selling crack to teenagers in Over-the-Rhine.
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Norma Rashid, Former TV5 Anchorwoman: Sitting home alone waiting for Charlie to call.
Jack Mehoff, Used Solar Panel Salesman: Eatin’ lots of brats and metts at the union picnic even though I still haven’t paid my dues.
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Emily Frump, Retired City Employee: Worrying about what’s going to happen to my pension.
CH Snitch, 1000 Main Street: Trying to find party hacks to volunteer to be poll workers for all those Hamilton County judicial candidates running unopposed.
Sid Schlock, Slumlord: planning on how to raise the rent on illegal aliens.
Ken CamBoo, Northern Kentucky Journalist: Wondering why there are so few unions in the Bluegrass State.
TEA Party Tim: Circulating Right-to-work petitions.
Reverum Calhoun, Minister: Boycottin’ the Union Day Picnic at Coney Island.
Seedy Diehl, Northern Kentucky: Getting another day off with pay.
Rashid Jones, Escort Service Provider: Tellin’ his main lady “This ain’t no holiday for you, bitch! Get out on the street and bring me my money.”
Whistleblower Weekend Web Poll
This weekend, here’s how Whistleblower Web Poll respondents said people would be spending the Union Day weekend:
(A) Honoring American workers: 2%
(B) Sitting in traffic: 2%
(C) Looking for full-time jobs: 2%
(D) Getting another day off with pay: 94%
Labor’s Lament
This weekend, everybody who doesn’t give a rat’s ass about the meaning of national holidays as long as he gets the day off, e-mailed entries to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.
The winner is Edward Norton, a smelly sewer worker from Price Hill, who’s a member in good standing of Sewer Workers Local #389. Ed wins an autographed picture of former AFL-CIO Union Boss Rad Danford, a lifetime supply of deodorant, fake union labels to patch the holes in those crappy Made-in-China clothes he buys at Wal-Mart, and his choice of which arm gets broken if he complains about his dues being spent to promote tax-and-spend DemocRATS. His winning entry is:
How most people will spend Union Day,
For kids, it’s a day they can play;
But if you’re self-employed,
You might be annoyed,
When other assholes get the day off with pay.
UNION CORRUPTION HOT LINE
e-mail your requests for additional accident insurance today.
Some anti-union items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally anti-union subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use more.
Whistleblower Link of the Day
Thanks, Union Bosses!
Sent In By Those Lovable Union-Busting Koch Brothers.
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here
