Special “The Week That Was” E-dition

Sunday, June 22, 2014

The Whistleblower Week in Review

  • image005OUR NUMBER ONE REPUBLICANS ON A ROLL STORY THIS WEEK was when Republican South Carolina Congressman Trey Gowdy got a standing ovation on House Floor – ‘We Make Law!’ when the sponsor of the “Enforce the Law Act” gave an emotional speech defending the need for legislation that the House of Representatives passed by a vote of 233-181. Five DemocRATS joined the Republican majority to advance a bill that would authorize the House or Senate to sue the executive branch for not enforcing laws.
  • OUR NUMBER TWO REPUBLICANS ON A ROLL STORY THIS WEEK was when Republican Congressman Paul Ryan accused IRS Commissioner John Koskinen of lying over lost emails sought by investigators. “You are the Internal Revenue Service. You can reach into the lives of hard-working taxpayers and with a phone call, an e-mail or a letter you can turn their lives upside down. image007You ask taxpayers to hand onto seven years of their personal tax information in case they are ever audited and you can’t keep six months worth of employee e-mails? And now that we are seeing this investigation, you don’t have the e-mails, hard drives crashed. You learned about this months ago. You just told us, and we had to ask you on Monday. This is not being forthcoming. This is being misleading again. This is a pattern of abuse, a pattern of behavior that is not giving us any confidence that this agency is being impartial. I don’t believe you. This is incredible. I don’t believe you.”
  • image009AND OUR NUMBER THREE REPUBLICANS ON A ROLL STORY THIS WEEK was when Texas Republican Congressman Steve Stockman introduced tongue-in-cheek legislation today that would allow over-taxed payers “to offer the same flimsy, obviously made-up excuses the Obama administration uses.” Under Stockman’s bill, “The Dog Ate My Tax Receipts Act,” over-taxed payers who do not provide documents requested by the IRS can claim one of the following reasons:

1. The dog ate my tax receipts 2. Convenient, unexplained, miscellaneous computer malfunction 3. Traded documents for five terrorists 4. Burned for warmth while lost in the Yukon 5. Left on table in Hillary’s Book Room 6. Received water damage in the trunk of Ted Kennedy’s car 7. Forgot in gun case sold to Mexican drug lords 8. Forced to recycle by municipal Green Czar 9. Was short on toilet paper while camping 10. At this point, what difference does it make?

  • MONDAY in our Annual “Whistleblower Deadbeat Dads”  E-dition, The Blower said, “Obama continues to blame Bush for Deadbeat Dads!”

             image010 We Hope You Have a Happy Father’s Day, You Worthless Pieces of Crap.  Here’s your wake up call. The mothers of your children are not going to take it anymore. You think you can just walk away and never look back? Well, we’ve got news for you. They told us about you and e-mailed us your pictures. Now everybody will know who you are.

  • Evans Johnson, East Price Hill, unemployed community organizer: owes $46,000 in child support for his three children ages 18, 15, and 13. Your ex-wife Rose says when she first met you, you promised you’d never be like your father and abandon your kids the way he did. You’re only working until you get caught and then you’ll quit and go back on welfare. You even skipped out on a court date because you’re chicken. It’s really sad what you’ve done to your innocent children.
  • Robert Thompson, Indian Hill, attorney: owes $146,000 in child support for his two children ages 14 and 12. Your ex-wife Jan says it’s not right for you to drive around in your new Mercedes and donate all that money to Jeb Bush’s 2016 Presidential Campaign while you ignore your responsibilities to your children.           

[READ MORE HERE]

  • TUESDAY in our Special “Still Letting Allah Sort It Out” E-dition, The Blower asked, “Is the enemy of our enemy now our friend?” and our “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” included:

In this week’s Opening Statement, I said “Yes indeed, you need to be worried about Iraq, especially after Obama’s premature pullout before the mission was complete.” —Judge Jeanine

What do you think the chances are that we’ll be raising our prices at the pump? —Greedy Gasoline Dealers

Mark my words. Those Terrorists don’t have the ability to overrun Baghdad, but we’re evacuating our embassy anyway. —Obama’s Doofus Secretary of State John Kerry

[READ MORE HERE]

  • WEDNESDAY in our Special “Obama-Nixon”  E-dition,The Blower said, “Is Obama’s Watergate Finally Here?”

     image015Obama’s IRS Scandal is looking more Nixonian every day. Tuesday was the 42nd Anniversary of Nixon’s Watergate Break-in, when five burglars in business suits bungled their way into the DemocRAT National Headquarters at the Watergate Hotel.

It’s too bad the country doesn´t have any journalists left that would investigate the Lois Lerner’s lost emails like Woodward and Bernstein investigated Watergate. That’s because Nixon was a Republican and the lessons today’s so-called journalists learned from that experience was only to investigate and report on Republican wrong-doings. Members of today’s main-stream media are just Liberal Propagandists and Apologists for the White House. For example, Monday ABC and NBC couldn’t even manage to cover the revelation that the IRS lost two years’ worth of Lois Lerner’s e-mails. Yet, reporters on all three networks mourned the loss of a parking garage connected to the four decade-old Watergate scandal.

Breaking News: It’s not just Lois Lerner’s emails. The Internal Revenue Service now says it can’t produce emails from six more employees involved in the targeting of conservative groups, according to two Republicans investigating the scandal.

[READ MORE HERE]

  • THURSDAY, in our Special “Property Tax Day” E-dition,The Blower said, “Be glad it only comes twice a year!” 

Happy Property Tax Day, Everybody!

           image016Payment for your Hamilton County Property Taxes has to be post-marked by midnight tomorrow, and tax preparers all over Hamilton County will be busy all day Thursday helping over-taxed property owners complete their complicated tax forms. And it’s no wonder, since some people’s property taxes are included with their mortgage payments, and they never actually see how much they’re paying for those fools in schools and all those other taxes that are included. That’s why The Blower always says “Everybody should have to write a really big check on Property Tax Day,” and “They should hold elections for those officials on the same day people have to pay for all those taxes.”

Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose Gerald Barzan’s, “Taxation with representation ain’t so hot either.”

[READ MORE HERE]

  • FRIDAY, in our “Just Another Guest Column E-dition, The Blower explained, “But It’s Still the Same Old BS!”

Now Let’s Meet Today’s Guest Editor:

          image018Why, it’s none other than former Vice President Dick Cheney, who says, “Rarely has a U.S. president been so wrong about so much at the expense of so many. Too many times to count, Mr. Obama has told us he is ‘ending’ the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan—as though wishing made it so. His rhetoric has now come crashing into reality. Watching the black-clad ISIS jihadists take territory once secured by American blood is final proof, if any were needed, that America’s enemies are not ‘decimated.’ They are emboldened and on the march.”

That’s why The Blower, which takes pride in rewarding anybody blasting Obama’s feckless foreign policy to be this week’s guest editor and choose three items plus a Quickie for today’s E-dition from our Current Cadre of Conservative Columnists and Contributors, and our Quote for Today Committee chose John F. Kennedy’s “Domestic policy can only defeat us; foreign policy can kill us.”

[READ MORE HERE]

  • SATURDAY in our Annual “Summer Solstice” E-dition, The Blower said, “Are the days really getting shorter?”

          image020Today is the First Day of Summer and a religious holiday for modern Pagans. Dave the Druid says it’s no coincidence our festivities coincide with the longest day of the year.

This year, Hamilton County Treasurer even had some new ways for you to avoid licking and sticking a 49-cent stamp on an envelope or standing in those long lines at the Treasurer’s Office with some new easy ways to pay. You could’ve paid online. Or you could’ve paid by phone at 877-764-3524. You could’ve even paid by credit card (for a mere 2.5% added fee) or electronic check (for an extra $1.50)

Also SATURDAY in our Official “Paddlefest”  E-dition, The Blower asked, “How much will it cost to haul all those canoes back up river?”

image022Paddlefest, in case you’ve forgotten, is when Liberal Loonies try to sell us down the river one more time, but organizer Brewster Rhoads says his annual event is not to be confused with last month’s annual Gay Paddlefest, where Ben Dover and Phil McKrevis gave each other spankings at Sawyer Point.

It was even more confusing until a couple of years ago when Paddlefest was scheduled at the same time as the Gay Pride Weekend in Greater Cincinnati.

Anyway, our good friend Bobby Leach just e-mailed us our Gay Paddlefest Joke: “What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? Fur traders.”

image024Rob “Fighting for Flotation” Portman says he’ll be there for a Paddlefest photo op, too— just like he’s been every year for the past decade. The Robmesister used to take his Gay Son Will kayaking all the time. (The gay one’s on the left) Does that mean they’ll both be back for the Gay Pride Event next week?

Don’t forget to have somebody with a kayak trailer meet you at the finish line, or you’ll be walking 8.2 miles back upstream to Coney Island where you parked your car.

At the same time in Northern Kentucky, Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo wonders if the South Shore will get any credit for Paddlefest this weekend or even a small share of all that Paddling Capital of America News Hype. “Doesn’t anybody know the wet part of the Ohio River is actually in our state, no matter what it got named?” The Camboozler asked.

[READ MORE HERE]

The Feck Starts Here

  • image026OUR FECKLESS FISHWRAPPERS: Wednesday morning, Cindi Andrews provided more conversation on our region’s hot topics when she (on behalf of the entire Idiotorial Department comprised of Publisher Margaret Buchanan, Editor Wedgie Washburn, and writers Krista Ramsey, Julie Zimmerman, and herself) opined that it was now time for the Ohio General Assembly to repeal the election law banning lying in political campaigns. What else would you expect from a publication where folks are too lazy, too stupid, or too dishonest ever to print the whole truth? Did COAST’s Avaricious Attorney Chris Finney (who’s making all that money arguing for a politician’s Right to Lie) sent Cindi a dozen roses when she included his name in her column?

Plus, our Dismayed Deputy says, in Kimball Perry’s story about Tammy Reverman (She drank, she drove, she killed), Kimball piles on with “Poole, the father of a Hamilton County Sheriff’s Deputy, also had a drinking problem.” What in the hell does it add to the quality of a news story to identify a man with a drinking problem as the father of a deputy sheriff?  This is either an obvious attempt by Perry to hurt and embarrass the deputy or Kimballess truly is a complete asshole…or both!

  • image028OHIO TEA PARTY GUY TOM ZAWISTOWSKI says just over one year ago, (May 10, 2013) when Lois Learner publicly admitted “targeting” TEA Party and other conservative groups, I had two major media outlets contact me for the express purpose of apologizing to me. Now a year has passed and I see many in the media, whom I have talked with and provided information to on the IRS issue, sitting out this scandal that in my opinion makes Watergate look like a misdemeanor offense.

ALSO IN OHIO: Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says Columbus Public Schools are going to give every student a “FREE” LUNCH! For every student whose mom can’t make a baloney sandwich deduct $1 per day from their welfare check! Free isn’t “FREE”!!!  Over-Taxed Payers are paying double for a FREE lunch! Paying for food stamps and now lunch! The Columbus Post says it’s a Federal Program for school systems with a majority of the students who are in the poverty level.

Republicans for Higher Taxes report that David A. Pepper has accepted a large campaign contribution from abortionist Martin Haskell, one of the pioneers of partial-birth abortion.  When Pepper tries to call his opponent an extremist for opposing partial-birth abortion, remember that Pepper thinks it’s ok to deliver a baby 90% of the way and then kill it.

image030Also this weekend, Whistleblower Alternative Life-Styles Contributors Ben Dover and Phil McKrevis are reporting on the “We ARE Gay and we MEAN it! Pride Parade” in Columbus.  Rumor has it: several elected officials will be on hand to participate in the fellatiotivities! This event is really dating itself though, when one of the top sponsors is AARP!  In fact, Ben and Phil haven’t seen this many wrinkles since the reunion concert with the Grateful Dead!  Even their drugged-out fans had the decency to cover most of theirs!

Meanwhile, roads to Cedarville will be packed with Republicans today on their way to Mike and Fran DeWhine’s Annual Ice Cream Social. This event dates back to the Ohio Attorney General’s run for Greene County Prosecutor in 1976, and has become legendary in Ohio’s shameless fund-raising.

  • IN CINCINNATI: Is Cincinnati Ragazine going to continually give the well-coifed Mayor puff pieces and pictures in every edition?  Or is John the new GQ status for Cincinnati?  Or is his secret really that he knows how to talk Businesses into coming to town…guess his pitch is much better than Mallory’s.

And our City Hall Snitch wonders, with a requisite smirk, why Amy Murray forgot to tell her constituents about her recent YES votes for John Cranley’s pork-laden $$$ DemocRAT-machine “let’s help da children” budget. How much did Tillery’s operation get again? Oh, just a little bit more than Papa Reece (rhymes with grease).

Meanwhile, the husband of our Compassionate Conservative was fixated on the well-mannered and well-dressed black family enjoying a family dinner at Dewey’s. Two teenage sons whose pants were not down to their knees, a daughter and a husband and wife looking like a Hyde Park family. Unfortunately, for our Belligerent Black Blogger Nate “Rhymes With Hate” Livingston, we’re talking about the Smitherman family.

  • image032DISGRUNTLED DEMOCRATS continue to complain about the way Hamilton County Demo Labor Party Boss Tim Burka is running the Party. Today they want to know Why do you make agreements with Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP regarding offices that DemocRATS won’t challenge? This was reported by The WhistleBlower, and Burka even admitted it.

image034And are Sycamoron Trustees Cliff Bishop, Tom Weidman and Denny Connor really guilty of ethics violations just because they diverted a little money from beer sales at the township festival to their own campaign coffers? Hamilton County Demo-Labor Party Boss Tim Burka says they are, and you know he’d never lie.

And how many DemocRATS showed up at Saturday’s big Voter Fraud Rally on Saturday? Was convicted DemocRAT Vote Frauder Melowese Richardson also on hand?

  • image036ROUT STEP REPUBLICANS: In Ohio’s Second Congressional District, Republicans can walk with “Team Wenstrup” at any of the upcoming Independence Day Parades in Madeira, Hillsboro, Anderson, and New Richmond. How you would ever manage to get to all of them would be your responsibility. Now guess which parades “Bronze Star Brad” actually plans to attend.

And would you believe, the Ohio House Republican Caucus that wasted $112K in the House District 27 Primary attacking “TaxKiller Tom” Brinkman is now touting him for the very same things they attacked him for two months ago.

  • HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1944, FDR signed the GI Bill to recognize and repay men and women returning from WWII for their service, after which Whistleblower Veterans Affairs Reporter PTSD Tadwell says the highly educated veterans charged up the hill to capture the American dream, and our nation embarked on a thirty year economic boom. It’s a pity our heroes of today are only treated as political pawns during Congress’ never-ending bi-partisan bickering.
  • THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose the opening line from Ronald Reagan’s 1988 Veterans Day Speech: “Those who live today remember those who do not. Those who know freedom remember today those who gave up life for freedom.”
  • WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR SPOILED SPORTS EDITOR ANDY FURBALL likes Bryan Price’s “What bullpen problem?”

image038And you can bet Aroldis Chapman’s neighbors on his Anderson Oaks cul de sac found it difficult to get back to sleep after the Reds Overpaid Relief Pitcher’s $100,000 Lamborghini woke up all his neighbors following another Reds loss Friday night.

  • THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says Americans are more unhappy about the overall economy despite signs that the housing industry is recovering at last. Is government spending at least partially to blame?  67% of Likely Voters now believe that the U.S. economy is unfair to the middle class, and 61% say it’s unfair to all Americans. Both are at their highest levels in a year-and-a-half. This takes on added significance when you consider that 83% of working Americans consider themselves middle class.  
  • image040CONSERVATIVE CURMUDGEON STU MAHLIN says he wasn’t surprised to read Bowdeya Tweh’s “Supermarkets aren’t sold on downtown – yet,” but he is surprised to learn that all those brilliant and creative Young Urban Professionals who’ve taken up residence in Downtown Cincinnati haven’t learned to “improvise, adapt and overcome.” Since, by definition, they’re devoted fans of mass transit, why haven’t they worked with Queen City Metro to set up a Grocery Flyer route from Fountain Square, through OTR, over Liberty to I-71, and then directly to Hyde Park Plaza’s Kroger and that other Fishwrap advertiser, Remke-Biggs?  The buses would be outfitted with luggage racks — as found in airport car rental vans — for bags of groceries and, of course, bike racks front and rear.  They’d be outfitted with Wi-Fi too, of course, lest anyone get bored on the trip to or from. Piece of cake. Paper or plastic?
  • IN ANDERSON: Saturday was finally the bid day for the Anderson Township Food Truck Rally at Anderson Station. With all the hype, The Blower wasn’t sure whether to send Whistleblower Food Critic Martin Upchuck, Whistleblower Auto Mechanics Reporter “Torque” Wrench, or Truck Racing Contributor Ronnie Rollbar.  

Also in Anderson, members of the Forrest Gump School Board should be terrified by the US Patent Office’s cancellation of the NFL Washington Redskin’s trademark, making anyone deemed politically incorrect now outside the protection of the law. Name-bullying has become a kind of sport for self-aggrandizing political activists, and everybody’s wondering if the Anderson Redskins are next.

  • IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY, Alison Wondergams Grimes’ campaign says, thanks to gullible supporters like you, Alison’s more than lived up to that promise: with nearly four months to go before Election Day, 19 recent polls have her ahead or tied despite the millions McConnell is spending on false attacks. Not only that, if you contribute $5 or more before Sunday at midnight, they’ll make sure an “Alison for Kentucky” bumper sticker is mailed right to your door.

image042Erlanger attorney Roula Allouch has been named to head the Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR). Roula says, “I hope to continue and strengthen CAIR’s efforts to enhance understanding of Islam and Muslims, to encourage civic participation by American Muslims and to build coalitions with like-minded individuals and organizations to promote justice and mutual understanding.”  Good luck with that,Roula, there’s a lot of Islamophobia out there!

And Terry “The Smiling Jailer” Carl says Joseph Hall still hasn’t voluntarily returned to the Kenton County Detention Center since he walked away from a work detail on May 28. Hall hasn’t been seen since last weekend, when several people saw him scarfing down goetta at Mainstrasse. Terry says, “Do you think we should check the Northern Kentucky Nudist Camp in Florence one more time? It’s not that we really expected to find him there, but my guys just like looking at the all those titties.”

  • image044LIBERAL LUNACY:In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” #171, says when a Liberal asks what you’re buying your kids for their birthdays, say: “Oh, I guess the usual: more ammo.”
  • image045OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER liked David Letterman’s “You know where it’s bad now? Iraq. It was bad and now it’s getting worse. Today President Obama said he might have to send in Dennis Rodman. Iraq is so bad that President Obama phoned Hillary Clinton and asked her if she could start early.”
  • image046 NOW HERE’S THE LATEST FROM BUNKY TADWELL, THE BARD OF CLEVES: This week, with the Summer Scorching Season fully under way, we have another timely offering from Bunky Tadwell, the Bard of Cleves, from his new book “Wanna See My Solstice, Little Girl?” found in the dirty poetry section of your Public Library:

Bunky’s Ode to Summer
On the First Day of Summer
I couldn’t be glummer
Unless, my dear
You give me a hummer.

This includes all DemocRATS, RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.

It probably doesn’t include all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice.

  • image053FINALLY AT FRIDAY’S MEETING OF CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane Political Insiders were asking Charles Foster Kane what happened to the “Calendar Widget” at the lower left corner of the Web Page. It now says it’s “Not Working,” “Right,” Kane explained. “Our WordPress Wizard says, “It’s broke.” And the Tech Support Team a GoDaddy.com (where our web site is hosted) says “We’ve never seen anything quite like it. And if any of our wily web developers out there have any ideas, please let us know.”

                    AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”: 

  • image055Monday (June 23) we’ll be featuring our “Official Republican Survey” E-dition, while we’re continuing to count down the 942 Days of Dishonesty for America remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless the First Black President in History is impeached.
  • Tuesday (June 24) we’ll be celebrating “Swim a Lap Day” our “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” will be checking out tan lines on girls’ swimsuits at the local pools.
  • Wednesday, (June 25) we’ll be remembering how in 1876 Lieutenant Colonel George Armstrong Custer had a fatal lapse in judgment when he underestimated the number of Indians on the other side of the hill at the Battle of the Little Big Horn.
  • Thursday (June 26) we’ll be checking to see if any of our Republicans have as yet summoned up the courage to use the word “Impeachment.”
  • The first line of Friday’s (June 27) limerick is: “Obama says it’s now good to be gay.”
  • And Saturday (June 28) we’ll be covering that NASCAR Sprint Cup Series Quaker State 400 presented by Advance Auto Parts at the Kentucky Speedway.

image062image056Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Reds Pitching Coach Jeff Pico, you know, the guy who keeps all those overpaid millionaire pitchers sharp so they won’t come in an blow and 8 run lead.

The Libtard Show With Dixon Diaz

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WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE

e-mail your revolutionary recaps today

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Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more. 

 Whistleblower Video of the Day

What Liberals Really Think about the Tea Party

(Sent in byTexas Republican Congressman Steve Stockman who asked the National Security Agency on Friday to turn over all the metadata it has collected on the email accounts of former IRS official Lois Lerner from January 2009 to April 2011. Stockman’s clever move comes hours after the tax agency apparently claimed it had lost Lerner’s emails from that same time period due to a computer glitch.

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image062Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.

Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here

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