Friday, May 23, 2014
Let’s Get Back to Basics
GOP establishment cheerleader Steve LaTourette (R-Ohio) is quoted in today’s USA Today, saying yesterday proves, “…sitting members of Congress have no reason to fear (TEA Party groups). There’s absolutely no strength behind their threats.” Hurley the Historian says on this date in 1934, law enforcement officials killed famous outlaws Bonnie and Clyde. And you think our TEA Partiers feel all shot up this week.
Not really! It’s just that our Bluegrass TEA Party Patriots hadn’t learned the lesson some of our local TEA Partiers in Ohio had already demonstrated. Even with tons of money and all that support, Matt Bevin still lost to Mitch McConnell and his complete control the Republican Party apparatus in Kentucky, especially the Republican state central committee, as well as most of the state’s county central committees.
For years, The Blower’s been teaching the importance of winning seats on state central committees. Why else do you think the Ohio Republican Party spent so much to replace the likes of Crista Criddle with one of their Cronies, whose vote they could always count on?
In 2012, Clermont County TEA Partiers got rid of a “sitting” GOP member of Congress in the primary. But first they had to win control of the county central committee. Imagine if the same money and grassroots energy that went into Kentucky’s primary on Tuesday had instead gone into taking over the state’s central committees.
The lesson from Tuesday’s Bevin/ McConnell race isn’t that the TEA Party can never win. It’s just that first they have to control the Party. As Ross Perot used to say, “It’s just that simple.”
Now Let’s Meet Today’s Guest Editor:
Why, it’s none other than Clermont County’s “TEA Party Ted” Stevenot, whose Ohio Liberty Coalition should now start schooling all those other local TEA Party organizations how to take over central committees one precinct at a time like he did in Clermont County, and start using the word “TEA” for “Taxes Enough Already” in their own names while they’re at it.
That’s why The Blower, which takes pride in rewarding successful Conservative grassroots organizers to be this week’s guest editor and choose three items plus a Quickie for today’s E-dition from our Current Cadre of Conservative Columnists and Contributors, and our Quote for Today Committee chose George Clooney’s “Anytime there’s an actual grassroots movement that isn’t funded by people trying to create a grassroots movement, I find that interesting.”
- “THIS SHOULD BE THE LAW IN EVERY STATE” by Rick Perry
The City of Dallas, Texas passed an ordinance stating that if a driver is pulled over by a law enforcement officer and is not able to provide proof of Insurance, the car is towed.
To retrieve the car after being impounded, the driver must show proof of insurance to have the car released. This has made it easy for the City of Dallas to remove uninsured cars. Shortly after the “No Insurance” ordinance was passed, the Dallas impound lots began to fill up and were full after only nine days.
Over 80% of the impounded cars were driven by illegal immigrants. Now, not only must they provide proof of insurance to have their car released, they have to pay for the cost of the tow, a $350 fine, and $20 for every day their car is kept in the lot.
And guess what? Accident rates have gone down 47% and Dallas’ solution gets uninsured drivers off the road WITHOUT making them show proof of nationality.
I wonder how the Obama’s US Justice Department will get around this one.
- “AMERICA’S MELTDOWN ABROAD” by Ben Lipson
At a recent meeting with two dozen Chicago leaders, some DemocRAT, some Republican, I asked a simple question, “Can anyone name a significant American achievement in world affairs over the past five years?”
The room was completely silent. Since the group had traveled widely, I posed a second question, “Have any of you visited countries where relations with America are better than five years ago?” Again, silence.
These were people who zip all over the globe and deal with senior officials. Many had backed Barack Obama’s historic presidential candidacy in 2008 and his re-election in 2012. Yet they were stumped when asked to name any recent achievement in American foreign policy.
Over the past few months, I have posed the same questions to a variety of groups, some American, some European and Asian. Can anyone think of a major American success on the global stage? Can anyone name a stronger bilateral relationship? Silence. There’s usually an awkward pause before they begin grumbling about America’s sinking stature and incoherent policies.
In more than a dozen meetings, I have heard only one positive response. A senior European official told me that the president had been a valuable partner during the 2009 financial crisis. That’s surely an important achievement. Let me add two others. Osama bin Laden is dead and the president wound down our long, costly wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. The balance sheet on how the administration ended those wars is still out since we did nothing to secure American interests in Iraq after the troops left and now face the same possibility in Afghanistan.
Even Hillary Rodham Clinton was struck mute by these straightforward questions. Speaking before a friendly Manhattan audience in early April, she was tossed a softball question. “When you look at your time as secretary of state,” the moderator asked, “what are you most proud of?” Clinton, who led U.S. foreign policy for Obama’s entire first term, had no answer. She eventually stumbled on an answer that would embarrass the semifinalists in the Miss Teen Alabama Pageant. “Well, I really see — that was good — that’s why he wins prizes. Look, I really see my role as secretary, in fact leadership in general in a democracy, as a relay race. When you run the best race you can run, you hand off the baton.”
That’s right. Clinton’s proudest achievement as secretary of state is that she managed to “hand off the baton.” Alas, she handed it to John Kerry, who is now twirling it mindlessly as he tries to figure out why every one of his negotiations has failed and why nobody believes his empty threats. Why the long face, John?
Charles Lipson is a professor of political science at the University of Chicago.
- “ALL CRUMPLED UP” by Greg Delev
With a very seductive voice a wife asked her husband, “Have you ever seen twenty dollars all crumpled up?”
“No,” said her husband.
She gave him a sexy little smile unbuttoned top three buttons of her blouse and slowly reached down in her cleavage created by a soft, silky push-up bra and pulled out a crumpled twenty dollar bill.
He took the crumpled twenty dollar bill from her and smiled approvingly.
She then asked, “Have you ever seen fifty dollars all crumpled up?”
“No I haven’t,” he said, an anxious tone in his voice.
She gave him another sexy little smile pulled up her skirt, seductively reached into her tight sheer panties and pulled out a crumpled fifty dollar bill.
He took the crumpled fifty dollar bill and started breathing a little quicker with anticipation.
“Now,” she said, “have you ever seen 50,000 dollars all crumpled up?”
“No way,” he said becoming even more aroused and excited to which she replied:
“Go look in the garage!”
- AND A QUICKIE By Our Good Friend Bobby Leach
A man walks into a cocktail lounge and approaches an attractive woman sitting by herself and asks, “May I buy you a cocktail?”
“No thank you,” she replies, “alcohol is bad for my legs.”
“Sorry to hear that. Do they swell?”
“No, they spread.”
These items are perfect to forward to all of your Internet Buddies and Facebook Friends with too much time on their hands.
Stories We’re Working On
-
DemocRATS to Obstruct Benghazi Hearings - Price of Gas Above $3 Gallon for 1,245 Days
- Another Whistleblower Prediction: No 2016 GOP Convention in Cincinnati
- Was Charles Foster Kane Really Offered a Knighthood?
- Anderson’s “WTF Were We Thinking Award”
- The Return of Trey Grayson
- Gays Welcome at Distaste of Cincinnati
Whistleblower Web Poll
This week, here’s how the first 17,648 Whistleblower Readers Poll respondents said most Apathetic Americans would be spending Memorial Day:
(A) Remembering all our fallen heroes: 2%
(B) Paying more than $3.89-per-gallon for gasoline: 1%
(C) Watching John Wayne movies on TV: 1%
(D) Getting another day off with pay: 96%
Note: Everything we write doesn’t have to be so damn cynical and mean-spirited, it’s just so much more fun that way!
Weekly Whistleblower Limerick Contest
Fine Dining on a Stick
This week, everybody who thinks holding this year’s Distaste of Cincinnati at Fountain Square is just about what you’d expect from the worst-run city in America that spent $42 million to wipe out every business in the area for two years while they moved the Fountain six feet North during their guaranteed one-year renovation project, e-mailed an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.
The winner is Avoirdupois Andersonian Freddy Fatassi. Our Weight Gainers member says driving downtown has always been expensive, even before you had to take out a second mortgage to fill the tank on your SUV, but trekking downtown just to eat an overpriced chicken wing or a meatball on a stick? As always, downtown trolleys would be the answer. Freddy wins an “I Survived the Distaste of Cincinnati” T-Shirt, an opportunity to buy a slice of Larosa’s Pepperoni Cheese Pizza for $3, a scoop of Graeter’s Ice Cream for $4, a crappy $5 Izzy’s Reuben sandwich for $7.75, or $17.95 for a month’s supply of Beano for the ride home. His winning entry is:
Each year at the Taste of the ‘Natti
Five bucks buys an overcooked hamburger patty.
Or sushi the size of a lousy nickel
(A buck extra if you add a pickle);
And the trailer park trash makes the venue so ratty.
Jeff Ruby says
Each year at the Taste of the ‘Natti
The choices almost drive me batty.
The chefs all compete
To induce you to eat
Something fancy, no plain burger patty.
Dean Gregory says
Some of the food tastes funny,
Some is hard, some soft, some runny.
You need to make sure
And not go if you’re poor
‘Cause whatever you get, it will cost lots of money.
Jean-Robert de Cavel says
Each year at the taste of the ‘Natti.
The streets are all jammed full of fatties
They walk stand to stand
With pop-corn in hand
Slurpin’ diet cokes to look good for their Daddies.
Emeril Lagasse says
Each year at the taste of the ‘Natti,
We shell out for portions quite ratty.
You’ll be served brats and metts
Right next to Port-O-Lets,
And for the gourmet? Filet of catty!
And from the Anderson Gourmet (who’s still not successfully completed his correspondence course in low-fat cooking):
Each year at the Taste of the ‘Natti
The throngs and hordes drive me batty.
So I think I’ll stay home
On my chair of styrofoam
And listen to Gian Carlo Menotti
Each year at the Taste of the ‘Natti,
You promise to eat only one burger patty.
But there is so much good food
And you’re in a gluttonous mood
So you end up being the same old fatty.
Each year at the taste of the ‘Natti,
The prices get more and more batty.
This I think I’ll stay home,
And eat something in Styrofoam
Maybe a veggie burger, or tofu patty.
The first line of next week’s limerick is:
“Paying Nearly Four Dollars for a Gallon of Gas”
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially, Former NKU Athletic Director Scott Eaton, on his way to the slammer for the next ten years for stealing a paltry $300,000.
CHEAP GAS HOT LINE
E-mail lowest prices today.
Some price gouged items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally price gouged subscribers.
Whistleblower Links of the Day
How to Save Money on Gasoline
PLUS
Gasoline Prices in Your Neighborhood
(Sent in by Discount Petroleum Entrepreneur Stanley Siphon, who says, “Only suckers pay retail for their gasoline.”
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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