Friday, May 16, 2014
Thank You For Not Voting
Today there are only four more days until the Bluegrass Primary Elections on May 20, and yesterday some voters may have missed NoKY Fishwrappers Scott Wartman, Amanda Vanda, and Former Fishwrapper “Huggable Howard” Wilkinson on 91.7 WVXU explaining everything they might need to know about each of the 847 candidates running for all of those offices in Northern Kentucky.
Will everybody once again be worried about Low Voter Turnout? After all, isn’t “Not Voting” just like a vote? Perhaps the voting challenged among us fails to grasp the consequences of decisions made by those who do take office. Kentucky, after all, has paid a high price for electing too many politicians who refuse to implement policies needed to effectively compete with other states for genuine economic growth.
The Blower wonders if higher voter turnout could only worsen conditions — especially if those turning out are ill-informed. Just look what happened when all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Put Obama In The White House—Twice.
Hurley the Historian says on this date in 1861, the Confederate government offered to pay war volunteers $10 premiums and Kentucky proclaimed its neutrality in the America Civil War. Harper’s Weekly said, “Governor Magoffin’s [Kentucky governor] neutrality means holding the cock of the walk (Uncle Sam) while the Confederate cat (Jeff Davis) kills off his chickens.” So not taking a political position just might be a long-time Kentucky tradition.
Now Let’s Meet Today’s Guest Editors:
Why, it’s none other than our current Whistleblower Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo and his predecessor J.R. Hatfield, shown as they appeared 23 Years AgoThis Week(when The Whistleblower used to be printed and delivered all over town).
That’s why The Blower, which takes pride in rewarding long and meritorious service reporting on politics in Northern Kentucky to be this week’s guest editor and choose three items written by people from Northern Kentucky plus a Quickie for today’s E-dition from our Current Cadre of Conservative Columnists and Contributors, and ourQuote for Today Committee chose Andrew Jackson’s “I have never in my life seen a Kentuckian who didn’t have a gun, a pack of cards, and a jug of whiskey.”
- “THE BEST DESCRIPTION OF OBAMA EVER WRITTEN” by Jack Wheeler
The O-man, Barack Hussein Obama, is an eloquently tailored empty suit. No resume, no accomplishments, no experience, no original ideas, no understanding of how the economy works, no understanding of how the world works, no balls, nothing but abstract, empty rhetoric devoid of real substance.
He has no real identity. He is half-white, which he rejects. The rest of him is mostly Arab, which he hides but is disclosed by his non-African Arabic surname and his Arabic first and middle names as a way to triply proclaim his Arabic parentage to people in Kenya. Only a small part of him is African Black from his Luo grandmother, which he pretends he is exclusively.
What he isn’t, not a genetic drop of, is ‘African-American,’ the descendant of enslaved Africans brought to America chained in slave ships. He hasn’t a single ancestor who was a slave. Instead, his Arab ancestors were slave owners. Slave-trading was the main Arab business in East Africa for centuries until the British ended it.
Let that sink in: Obama is not the descendant of slaves, he is the descendant of slave owners. Thus he makes the perfect Liberal Messiah.
It’s something Hillary didn’t understand – how some complete neophyte came out of the blue and stole the Dem nomination from her. Obamamania is beyond politics and reason. It is a true religious cult, whose adherents reject Christianity yet still believe in Original Sin, transferring it from the evil of being human to the evil of being white.
Thus Obama has become the white liberals’ Christ, offering absolution from the Sin of Being White. There is no reason or logic behind it, no faults or flaws of his can diminish it, no arguments Hillary could make of any kind can be effective against it. The absurdity of Hypocrisy Clothed In Human Flesh being their Savior is all the more cause for liberals to worship him: Credo quia absurdum, I believe it because it is absurd.
Thank heavens that the voting majority of Americans remain Christian and are in no desperate need of a phony savior. He is ridiculous and should not be taken seriously by any thinking American.
And yet he got elected, not once but twice. Thanks to those who did not think it was important to vote for freedom and those who were willing to give up their freedoms for entitlements.
Remember you don’t have to be on a southern plantation to be a slave, if you are dependent on government entitlements you just have a different slave owner.
Jack Wheeler was a brilliant man who was the author of Reagan’s strategy to break the back of the Soviet Union with the star wars race and expose their inner weakness. For years he wrote a weekly intelligence update that was extremely interesting and well structured and informative. He consults(ed) with several mega corporations on global trends and the future, etc. He was a true patriot with a no-nonsense approach to everything. He was also a somewhat well-known mountain climber and adventurer.
- “THE MEANING OF SERVICE” by Gex “Rhymes With Sex” William
I became confused when I heard the word “Service” used with these agencies:
Internal Revenue “Service”
U.S. Postal “Service”
Telephone “Service”
Cable TV “Service”
Civil “Service”
State, City, County, and Public “Service”
Customer “Service”
This is not what I thought “Service”meant.
But today, I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them said he had hired a bull to “Service” all his cows. BAM!!! It all came into focus. Now I understand what all those agencies are doing to us. You are now as enlightened as I am!
- “THE TALKING CLOCK” by Michael Liquid Plummer
After closing time at the bar, a drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends. He led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong and a mallet.
“What’s up with the big brass gong?” one of his guests asked.
“It’s not a gong. It’s a talking clock,” the drunk replied.
“A talking clock? Seriously?” asked his astonished friend.
“Yup,” replied the drunk.
“How’s it work?” the friend asked, squinting at it.
“Watch,” the drunk replied. He picked up the mallet, gave the gong an ear-shattering pound and stepped back.
The three stood looking at one another for a moment. Suddenly a voice on the other side of the wall screamed. “You asshole! It’s three-fifteen in the morning!”
- AND A QUICKIE By Phil Burr-ass, Citizens for Community Values
For those who haven’t heard, Colorado passed both laws – gay marriage and legalized marijuana.
The fact that gay marriage and marijuana were legalized on the same day makes perfect biblical sense because Leviticus 20:13 says, “If a man
lies with another man they should be stoned.” We just hadn’t interpreted it correctly before!
These items are perfect to forward to all of your Internet Buddies and Facebook Friends with too much time on their hands.
Stories We’reWorking On
- Historic Low Voter Turnout Expected Tuesday
- Sign-Stealing in Northern Kentucky
- Judge Executive Races’ Polling Data
- Only 16 Candidates Running for Four Seats on Covington Commission
- Election Night Victory Parties Already Starting
- Is TEA Party poised to take over Boondoggle County?
- Ft. Mitchell Mayor Settles SEC Claim
Whistleblower Web Poll
This week, here’s how the first 17,648 Whistleblower Readers Poll respondents said most Apathetic Americas would be celebrating Armed Forces Day tomorrow:
(A) Remembering war heroes: 2%
(B) Pretending to be a Veteran to get a free meal at Applebee’s: 1%
(C) Watching John Wayne movies on TV: 1%
(D) Wishing they were getting another day off with pay: 96%
Note: Everything we write doesn’t have to be so damn cynical and mean-spirited, it’s just so much more fun that way!
Weekly Whistleblower Limerick Contest
Celebrating Armed Forces Day
This week, everybody who thinks America should have a day that’s been officially designated to salute each of the men and women in all branches of the service who protect us and our country, e-mailed an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.
The winner is Harley Mather, Sr. in Boondoggle County, whose son PFC Harley Mather, Jr., will be arriving home on leave any day now to beat up a homeless guy at Maifest in Mainstrasse.
Harley, Sr. wins a US Army baseball cap, a US Navy Seals Sweat Shirt, and a US Marine Corps Beer Mug from Patriotic Exploiters, which will all be great conversation starters at today’s Armed Forces Day Picnic. His winning entry is:
The best way to spend Armed Forces Day
Is to honor those who fight for the American Way.
Wave your flag proudly at a parade
And don’t drink the liberal Kool-Aid
Which is leading us to an advanced state of decay.
The best way to spend Armed Forces Day
That’s if it were a day off with pay
Would be to work in the yard
(Although not very hard)
Then drink lots of beer and get laid.
The best way to spend Armed Forces Day
Is to ignore what the kneepads portray.
They’ll harp on the body bags
’til your patriotism sags,
So just keep Old Glory on display.
And from the Anderson Laureate (who’s waiting to see “Bronze Star Brad’s” big Armed Forces Day Speech at the Anderson Government Center):
The Best Way to Spend Armed Forces Day
Is to get down on your knees and pray
To thank those in the military
Who now reside in the cemetery
For keeping us free in this month of May
The best way to spend Armed Forces Day
Would be remembering the price some had to pay
We’re free and secure
Because of what they had to endure
I’m proud of our military, and that’s all I have to say.
The best way to spend Armed Forces Day
Is driving left-wing protestors away
They mock our military
And they love President Barry
And 90 percent of them are gay.
The first line of next week’s limerick is:
“Each year at the Taste of the ‘Natti”
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially, Bluegrass Lobbyist/ Political Consultant Marc Wilson.
BLUEGRASS PRIMARY ELECTIONS HOT LINE
e-mail your nasty notions today.
Some political ambush items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally politically ambushing subscribers
WHISTLEBLOWER LINK OF THE DAY
Kentucky 911 Call
(Sent in by Long-Time Whistleblower Person of Consequence Running for Judge Executive in Campbell County Kevin “Give ‘Em Hell” Sell, who says, “I believe in the conservative values held by many of you in Campbell County.”)
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.