Daily Archives: May 11, 2014

Special “The Week That Was” E-dition

Sunday, May 11, 2014

The Whistleblower Week in Review

  • image006OUR NUMBER ONE BENGHAZI REDUX STORY THIS WEEK was when The Blower reported the 2012 Election may be over, but Obama’s Benghazi Scandal is not. Rand Paul said Hillary was guilty of “dereliction of duty” on Benghazi, but Liberals will continue to protect her at all costs while Benghazi will show Disastrous DemocRATS can’t be trusted with life-or-death decisions because they live in denial.
  • OUR NUMBER TWO STORY BENGHAZI REDUX THIS WEEK was when Mike Huckabee predicted Obama wouldn’t finish out his second term because of the “cover-up” of the deadly attack on the U.S. consulate in Benghazi and the former Arkansas governor called the affair “more serious than Watergate.”
  • AND OUR NUMBER THREE STORY BENGHAZI REDUX THIS WEEK was the when Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane told Political Insiders at the Conservative Agenda we really don’t need to start paying attention until Congress starts impeaching Obama over Benghazi-gate in a Fast and Furious manner.
  • MONDAY in our Special “English Version of Our Illegal Aliens” E-dition,” The Blower said “Hooray-O, Hooray-O, It’s Cinco De Mayo. Outdoor Sexual Relations begin Today-O!”

Kiss My Chalupa!

            image008Non-Hispanic Lower Price Hill residents who don’t yet “Habla Espanol” may not be familiar with today’s mucho grande “Cinco de Mayo Festival.” Today’s “Fifth of May Celebration” gives our maracas-shaking news media something else to hype and commemorates just another Mexican battlefield victory over the French. That victory eventually led to today’s illegal Mexican immigration, the spread of Taco Bell restaurants all over America, and our most recent swine flu epidemic.

image011Remember what Vice President Joe Biden, God’s gift to late-night comedians, said about the danger of Swine Flu when he said that he would still tell his family to stay out of “confined places” like airplanes and subways in the United States, but the Obama administration never considered closing the United States to airplanes and buses from the epicenter of the epidemic in Mexico City, because that might make some Mexican feel bad.

Hurley the Historian says for Hispanics, Cinco de Mayo is a day of special music and parades, of little girls in flowing, frilly dresses, of beer and barbecue, or those homemade tamales with the little abueliteas only made by hand for special occasions.

Cinco de Mayo is a celebration of freedom. Back in the day, the French tried to conquer Mexico. On the Fifth of May (Cinco de Mayo) the much smaller Mexican army, with its bootleg uniforms and 99-cent store weapons, forced the much larger French Army to run away, which began a French tradition that continues to this day.

[READ MORE HERE]

  • MONDAY in our Special “Indecision 2014” E-dition,” The Blower said “If you don’t vote, you’re leaving the decision to somebody even dumber than you are!”

We Won’t Endorse….
by Charles Foster Kane
Beloved Whistleblower Publisher

            image012Before every election, The Whistleblower is always deluged with calls, faxes, text messages, and e-mails asking which candidates and issues we plan to endorse. As the official publication for all that scrambling, speculation, mud-slinging, and back-stabbing which will be forever known as Indecision 2014, our readers have every right to expect nothing less. But the fact that only one day before Ohio’s 2014 Primary Elections, after all of our penetrating reporting and scathing commentary, there can be any doubt about which candidates or issues we might cheer or jeer is further tribute to the astounding even-handedness of our always fair-and-balanced journalism.

[READ MORE HERE]

  • TUESDAY in our Official “Election Day Debacle” E-dition, The Blower asked, “Which candidate were we supposed to vote for, anyway?” and our “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” included:

image014The Midterm Congressional Election Season begins today with primaries in Ohio, and on May 20 in Kentucky. Messy intraparty disputes will be settled, and the final 2014 matchups will be set. —Whistleblower Political Observers

Let’s face it. Everybody knows House Speaker John Boehner’s going going to win his primary so big, so he never even had to threaten to hold a vote to impeach Obama, but just to be sure he picked a former federal prosecutor like Fiery South Carolina Congressman Trey Gowdy to chair his House select committee which will investigate the attack in Benghazi —Photoshop Editorial Spoofer Edward Cropper

Obama will be hitting five DemocRAT Fundraisers in just TWO days during his trip to California, and over-taxed payers will be footing the bill because two so-called “official events” are included. —Obama’s White House Spokes Dweeb Jay Cardboard

Where can we go to “unregister” so we stop getting all those damn Robocalls? —Registered Republicans

[READ MORE HERE]

  • WEDNESDAY in our Souvenir “2014 Ohio Primary Election” E-dition,The Blower reported, “Fraud at Polls!”

We’re Still Staying Around

           image017 Hurley the Historian says The Whistleblower Newswire came out of retirement twenty-two years ago last November.

The day after Election Day ’92, we had to return. After witnessing an endless barrage of biased reporting and the unmitigated mess the news media made of Campaign ’92, the results of that year’s elections were not all that surprising.

The voters in ’92, 95% of whom learned all they knew by watching daily distortions on local and national TV newscasts, sent to the White House, a draft-dodging, tax-evading, dope-smoking, pants-dropping, wife-cheating liar whom we predicted would surely drag this nation down to the level of Arkansas.

America got a leader it truly deserved –more arrogant than JFK, fewer scruples than LBJ, rivaling the Carter-Mondale administration for sheer stupidity.

[READ MORE HERE]

  • WEDNESDAY in our Official “Whistleblower Gloating” E-dition,The Blower said, “We Have Not Yet Begun to Gloat!”

         In case you missed Tuesday night’s Elections Results, the TEA Party’s only true Statehouse victory over the Ohio Republican Party came when “TaxKiller Tom” Brinkman stunned $tate Rep-tile for $ale Peter $tautberg 54% to 46%. At press time, not a single elected or party official had called Brinkman to congratulate him. Not one—zip, zero, nada!  

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[READ MORE HERE]

  • THURSDAY, in our Special “Election Post Mortem”” E-dition,The Blower said, “Even $tautberg’s own precinct buried him!”

We Just Can’t Stop Gloating

          image021Christmas came early at the Whistleblower Newswire’s offices Tuesday night, and the entire staff stayed up all night to put out a special edition to revel that the TEA Party’s only true Statehouse victory over the Ohio Republican Party came when “TaxKiller Tom” Brinkman stunned $tate Rep-tile for $ale Peter $tautberg 54% to 46%, and that at press time, not a single elected or party official had called Brinkman to congratulate him. Not one—zip, zero, nada!  And Brinkman’s name was curiously missing from that BS e-mail from Ohio RINO Party Boss Matt Borges asking all RINOS to “unite,” as he was congratulating all the Republican winners except Brinkman. Maybe that’s why Our Quote for Today Committee chose John F. Kennedy’s “Victory has a thousand fathers, but defeat is an orphan.”

Chippy Gearhart, those other Larcenous Lobbyists in Columbus, and the Ohio Republican Party spent a lot of money to tell lies about Brinkman. They even had the blessing of Brinkman’s Good Buddy, COAST’s Avaricious Attorney Chris Finney supporting Politicians’ Right to Lie About Brinkman During the Campaign. But this time, the Anderson TEA Party (The only local TEA Party Organization to capitalize the word “TEA” because it stands for “Taxed Enough Already,” not to mention Loony Libertarian Jim Berns and his sign-wavers.) got out the vote for “TaxKiller Tom (Two years ago Brinkman lost to $tautberg 61% to 39.)

[READ MORE HERE]

  • FRIDAY, in our “Just Another Guest Column E-dition, The Blower explained, “But It’s Still the Same Old BS!”

Now Let’s Meet Today’s Guest Editor:

          image023Why, it’s none other than Sally Soccermom, who says “Every time I complain about something, my husband tells me to put a sock in it!”

That’s why The Blower, which takes pride in promoting family values for Mother’s Day selected our Northern Kentucky TEA Party member taking time out from campaigning for Matt Beven before the 2014 Bluegrass Primary Elections on May 20 in only 11 more days to be this week’s guest editor and choose three items written by people from Northern Kentucky plus a Quickie for today’s E-dition from our Current Cadre of Conservative Columnists and Contributors, and our Quote for Today Committee chose Mo Rocca’s “Politicians who wear little tennis socks with the balls at the back should not be taken seriously.”

Maybe Sally should’ve looked for her missing socks in the Bureau of Missing Socks.

[READ MORE HERE]

  • SATURDAY in our Special “Almost Mother’s Day” E-dition, The Blower asked, “Thank your mom for being Pro Life!”

Don’t Forget Mother’s Day Tomorrow

            image024Mother’s Day is getting to be too commercial. This year they started putting up decorations right after Kwanzaa. Then there’s all that Mother’s Day music on the radio and everybody goes around wishing each other “Happy Mother’s Day,” even if you’re Jewish, but then their “Why Haven’t You Called Your Mother” celebration lasts for eight days. (Cincinnati Bell says Mother’s Day is the one day each year your mom won’t mind if you call her collect.)  And all those Mothers you see in the stores aren’t the real Mother. They’re only Mother’s little helpers. And on Mother’s Day Eve, little children will be waiting for that Big Mother to come down the chimney. But you know they’re really hyping it, when you see Mother’s Day cards for fathers at Walgreens. No wonder a group calling itself Mothers Acting Up is holding a big parade tomorrow to help lead the observance of Mother’s Day back to its roots. Of course, hairy-legged Feminists will be against Mother’s Day. And now we know why our Quote for Today Committee chose “Mothers of teenagers know why animals eat their young.”

Ohio Right to Life sends out a lot of Mother’s Day Cards, but Baby-Killers at Planned Parenthood won’t have that unnecessary expense.

Tomorrow Obama Supporters in the Press will be in full swoon over their Messiah’s Mother’s Day Message to same-sex mothers. But why should tomorrow be any different? Maybe Obama will be calling a WBA player to congratulate her for coming out as a lesbian.

[READ MORE HERE]

More Screw the TV Political Ads in Kentucky Because We Already Voted in Ohio  

  • image026OUR FECKLESS FISHWRAPPERS: During this week’s 2014 Ohio Primary Elections, Skaggie Maggie’s Feckless Fishwrap and Community Press (whose totally discredited political endorsements and news coverage are so often interchangeable) were probably responsible for a good part of that low voter turnout because this year’s coverage was just as lazy, stupid, and dishonest as it has always been in the past. And did you notice, the only thing stupider than the 2014 Primary Fishwrappery you saw on line, were some of the comments? That’s why The Blower plans to continue to present facts, opinions, viewpoints, and analyses on all sides of an issue. That’s why we’re still sticking around.
  • HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1949, the State of Israel was admitted to the United Nations, and Obama says Hamas should’ve also been admitted at that time. No wonder the McLaughlin Group says Obama has lost almost half of his US Jewish support.
  • THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Obama’s Clueless Secretary of State John Kerry, when he only recently said, “if Israel doesn’t make peace soon, it could become ‘an apartheid state,’ like the old South Africa.”
  • THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says “Put your money where your mouth is,” as the old saying goes. But Americans seem reluctant to open their wallets to fund some of the big projects they profess to believe in.

In a related story, Ohio House Primary Races where Conservatives weighed in, they won, in part because there was money behind the candidates to get a message out. In races for the State Central Committee, the Republican Establishment won hands down because no one, including the candidates, raised any money to get their message out. No money meant voters didn’t know who the Conservative was, and the Party Hacks who should’ve been voted out, stayed on.

  • image027MORE TEA PARTY TROUBLES: Some Disgruntled Activistshave latched onto the TEA Party as a vehicle/platform to advance their personal egos and grievances.  When Tom Z got only six votes from the 66 member State Central Committee, “TEA Party” attendees traipsed out they were heard shouting, “I’ll never vote for any Republican.” Is that the hallmark of loyal party activists who responsibly seek to lead the party? The TEA Party is not dead by any means.  But when the “leaders” try to run unskilled, incompetent candidates just because they are mad at the incumbent, they usually fail. Where the have a competent choice (like Brinkman) they have a chance. But without money, they will surely fail. 
  • IN COLUMBUS: Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says nothing of any consequence will happen in Ohio until every Republican in all 88 counties in Ohio signs Governor Kasich’s Birthday card, and if you’d like to donate some money, that would be OK, too.
  • SPIN DOCTORS NEVER CEASE: Campaign Strategists for Soon-to-be-no-more Ohio State Rep-Tile Peter $tautberg have really been trying to spin his weakness onto Common Core.  Could that be due to the fact the Ohio GOP doesn’t want their election opponents to know that Brinkman’s hit piece on the Free Needle Vote (HB 92) is what really motivated voters?  Common Core motivated volunteers, but Free Needles motivate the public!
  • image028GAY RIGHTS UPDATE: Whistleblower Alternate Life-styles Contributors Ben Dover and Phil McKrevis say the local news had been alarmingly gay-free in this week until Saturday when a Catholic teacher got her picture on the front page of The Fishwrap for backing her gay son. Why not, it worked for Rob “Fighting for Fagellas” Portman. Seriously, all the suits in Ohio have been filed, and the poor public merely waits to see which black robed InJustice will redefine Marriage in a way that has NEVER been done in history, all so that less than 2% of the population can have books like “King and King” taught so little Billie and Susie can “escape the oppression of gender,” whatever the hell that means!
  • CH SNITCH AT 1000 MAIN STREET says think of all the drama and money that the over-taxed payers could have saved if indicted, incompetent Juvenile Court Judge Tracie Hunter’s lawyer Jennifer Branch had run instead of her in 2010. Branch, the lead attorney for the federal lawsuit to repeal Ohio’s gay marriage banas unconstitutional and allow same-sex couples to wed in Ohio, is actually well-qualified, and probably 100 times more intelligent than her idiot client. Maybe running now is Branch’s way of apologizing to Hamilton County for the long Tracie Hunter debacle.
  • OUR COMPASSIONATE CONSERVATIVE says New Horizons owns half way house in Price Hill for recovering drug offenders. The Fishwrap quotes a city ordinance that says “No single family residence can house four or more non-related residents.” What they forgot to mention is there is an exception….. “four or more unrelated retarded adults can live together.” This was the ordinance the City passed to allow a Group Home for the mentally retarded in Hyde Park on a residential street. At the time the lawyer for the home owners, Bob Manley, said the city didn’t allow four or more unrelated adults to live in a house. But, the day before the trial, City Clowncil passed this exception. 20 families on that street moved out of the city!  That over-taxed payer funded house folded a few years ago and the Resident Home sold that property.
  • image029FOOLS IN SCHOOLS: Failed Cincinnati Public School teachers still remain unloved!  As teachers prepare for their summer vacation, not a single “Teacher Appreciation Week” gesture was extended by double-dipping Superintendent Mary “Newtown” Ronan nor Failed Cincinnati Federation of Teachers “President” Julie SellYourSoul.  How can FCPS teachers support the upcoming levy when neither CPS nor CFT even support their own? 
  • ANDERSON ANTICS: At the Anderson GOP club meeting, Gloating State Rep-tile Candidate “Taxkiller Tom” Brinkman called upon Hamilton County RINO Party Boss AlexT. “Mall Cop” to kick Chippy Gerhardt ’s little butt off the Board of Elections and install one of the members of the Ohio Voter Integrity Project women. “Taxkiller Tom” is a big fan of women and really likes it when all those MILFs gathered around him at the “Loser Party” he held after his triumphant victory at O’Neals on Beechmont.  Why do we call it a “Loser Party?” Because Peter $tautberg’s brother told all the MILFs for Tom that they were losers and that “Taxkiller Tom” was going to lose.  We guess that silver spoon got stuck up his ass a little after the election results were released.  

image030Meanwhile, Belterra gave Anderson $50,000 for a path at a veterans park!  “In Russ We Trust” Jackson was so excited the night before the track opened he embarrassed himself swinging his arms and jumping for joy on TV.

  • SLUDGE ALERT: Lower Price Hill Bureau Chief Travis McCoy says there’s a little something the incomparable City of Cincinnati management of the Metropolitan Sewer District (MSD) forgot to tell the citizens/ratepayers. One wonders if they told the Hamilton County Board of Commissioners that owns the MSD. The MSD has been in trouble for years with the EPA, and is deep in arrears to comply with the Federal Consent Decree costing overtaxed payers gazillions.

For decades the Mother Plant of the MSD, headquartered in Lower Price Hill, fondly called “Big Stinky” by employees, had a line of Big Bertha incinerators that burned sludge.  Those old faithfuls were replaced in recent years by three “fluidized bed incinerators that drastically reduce emissions by 95%.”  But those marvels of technology don’t work so well.

image031New problems started when the EPA ordered the MSD to take off-line two, out of compliance satellite pumping stations in other parts of Hamilton County.  The sludge from those smaller plants was sent to Big Stinky to incinerate.  But one of the new incinerators there was taken offline earlier this year.  Then a second incinerator failed.  The MSD was drowning in sludge.  What to do?  They mobilized Moonlight Convoys of sewage sludge to truck to Rumpke’s.  That was not the first time that the accommodating Rumpke’s Dump quietly accepted massive shipments of bad news from the MSD.

The last time, when residents of Colerain Township found out about it, there was a real uproar.  The MSD’s incinerators have been repaired, for the moment. In less than a year, the MSD will be subject to stricter federal emission control regulations on its three incinerators.  Wonder how that’s gonna work?

  • image032BLUEGRASS BUREAU CHIEF KEN CAMBOO says now that the 2014 Ohio Primary Elections are finally over, he’s glad to see The Blower has changed its Countdown Calendar at the lower right hand corner of this web page to click off the days, hours, minutes, and seconds until the polls close in Northern Kentucky at 6 PM on Tuesday May 20, in only twelve more days, but before then, we’ll be bombarded by all those money-wasting, time-eating, idiotic ads from Matt Beven and Bitch McConnell about how bad each other is. 

Northern Kentucky Candidates Listed as Faux Facebook Friends on The Whistleblower’s Facebook Page hope they can get their faces in The Blower too, between now and the Bluegrass Primaries.

The CamBoozler has received a complaint in Boondoggle County. A woman says she finally received the first local political mailer on the season that was negative in every way. Gary Moore was the author. An article from April 16 written by Amanda Van tells us she is endorsing Moore for Judge Executive. We thought we’d dodged a bullet this campaign season, hoping candidates would tell us “Why we should vote FOR THEM” instead of mailers that tell voters “Why we should NOT VOTE for the OTHER guy.” Doesn’t Moore know how to turn the other cheek like he was taught in Sunday School? Maybe he needs to attend church services this weekend. His P.C. adviser has him scheduled to hit the churches in western Boondoggle County, including a sunrise service at Rabbit Hash Baptist Church.

Best of all, with only nine more days until the Bluegrass Primary Elections, there’s “early voting” in the Kentucky.  We only have absentee voting.  To get an absentee ballot, voters have to write or go to the County Clerk’s Office and apply for one.  Applicants must state a valid reason, under oath, why they can’t vote on Election Day like everyone else.  It’s not like Ohio where you can go “vote early and often” just because Hamilton County Demo-Labor Party Boss Tim Burka, Free-Stuff Dispensing Liberals, Rhyming Reverends, and Union Goons told you to.

  • image034LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” #130 is an anagram: “President Barack Hussein Obama = A Democrat speaks inane rubbish.”
  • LATE NIGHT TV image035JOKEWATCHER liked David Letterman’s “Guess who’s back? Monica Lewinsky. She did an interview in the upcoming Vanity Fair. This is big news … in 1998. If you are happy that Monica Lewinsky is back in the news that means you’re probably an aging writer because it was the golden age of comedy, ladies and gentlemen.”
  • image036NOW HERE’S THE LATEST FROM BUNKY TADWELL (OUR ODIOUS OCTEGENARIAN), THE BARD OF CLEVES: Just in time for Mother’s Day Madness, we found this in his “I’ve Forgotten Mama,” found in better bookstores everywhere, except in Cleves.           

There’ll soon be a day for your Mother
A day we treat like no other.
When she heard God’s voice
And then make her choice
She said, “You, I won’t bother to smother.”

This includes all DemocRATS, RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.

  • image044FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane if The Blower plans to take it easy on State Rep-tile Peter $tautberg after he was humiliated by “TaxKiller Tom” Brinkman in Tuesday’s Ohio GOP Primary. Then Kane made the entire group recite the Beloved Whistleblower Motto:

Because wherever there’s corruption, we’ll be there.
Wherever there’s injustice, we’ll be there.
And wherever there’s a bunch of big guys beating up on a little guy, we’ll be there too…holding the little guy down. And that goes double for $tautberg.

AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”: 

  • image046Monday (May 12) we’ll featuring our Annual “Moms and MILFs” E-dition, but we’ll still be continuing to count down the 985 Days of Dishonesty for the rest of the nation remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless the First Black President in History is impeached.
  • Tuesday (May 13) will be wondering when the Stock Market will fall back to Earth and “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” will analyze the latest economic conditions.
  • Wednesday, (May 14) we’ll be checking to see if any of our Republicans have summoned up the courage to use the word “Impeachment.”
  • Thursday (May 15) we’ll be celebrating Police Officer’s Memorial Day, which honors and remembers police officers who gave their lives while on duty.
  • The first line of Friday’s (May 16) limerick is: “The Best Way to Spend Armed Forces Day.”
  • And Saturday (May 17), we’ll be we’ll honoring the military, while we check out to see which restaurants are offering free meals to veterans, or if we have to wait until Veterans Day for our free “Bloomin’ Onions” at Outback.

 image056image048Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people in Northern Kentucky politics ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Boondoggle County Judge Executive Gary Moore.

The Libtard Show With Dixon Diaz

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WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE

e-mail your revolutionary recaps today

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Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more. 

                           Whistleblower Video of the Day

Republican Benghazi Attack Ad (They forgot to use during the 2012 campaign)

image055 (Sent in by Whistleblower Faux Facebook Friend Bluegrass Political Activist Brian Richmond [1394 Friends, 41 Mutual Friends], who even has his Rob Sanders sticker tattooed on his chest.)

image056Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.

Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here

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