Tuesday, February 25, 2014
Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers
Now that Black History Month is almost over, everybody’s wondering when it’ll be “White History Month.” —Curious Caucasians- What’s the biggest difference between Black History Month and St. Patrick’s Day? On St. Patrick’s Day everybody wants to be Irish. —WLW Hate Radio Trash Talker Bill Cunningham
- Whoever chose February for Black History Month must be a racist, because the month only has 28 days. That’s something Cincinnati’s new “Inclusion Czar” will have to change. —Cincinnati City Clown-Cil Stupid Streetcar Flip Flopper P.G. Sitt-n-Spin and African-American Chamber of Commerce CEO Sean Rugless
- Maybe that’s why we chose Rush Limbaugh’s: “Have you ever noticed how all composite pictures of wanted criminals resemble Jesse Jackson?” —Your Quote for Today Committee
- Can you believe all those Sunday talk show hosts let me lie again when I said I didn’t lie about Benghazi the first time? —Obama’s Lying National Security Advisor Susan Rice
- Some people thought my State-of-the-State Address Monday night sounded more like a re-election campaign rally speech. —Ohio GOP Governor Kasich-Taylor
- I’m getting almost as much news coverage running for Congress as a Doomed DemocRAT in Ohio’s First Congressional District in 2014 as I did when I got 3% of the vote losing to “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup in the 2012 GOP Primary in the Second Congressional District. —Fred Kundrata
We really prefer riding to downtown Cincinnati on a bus and standing in line to vote, rather than mailing in absentee ballots. —Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Voters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice!- So what if Cincinnati Parks Commission head Willie Carden goes on one luxurious junket after another at city expense? I still want him for city manager. He will fit right in. —Cincinnati’s Diminutive DemocRAT Mayor John Cranley
- Please don’t report I bought that $835,000 condo on exclusive Marco Island in Florida as an escape pad for deadbeat Mahogany restaurateur Liz Rogers’ when she runs off with that $1 million dollars of city of Cincinnati money. —GOP House Speaker John Boehner
We’re seriously thinking of submitting a bid for the naming rights on the Cincinnati Streetcar. —Dummy’s Restaurants- Did the Republican National Committee call today to announce their 2016 National Convention in Cincinnati? —Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP
- In case you missed our prediction last week, The Blower is going on record and predicting the 2016 Republican National Convention will probably NOT be held in Cincinnati. —Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane
- Even we would never go so far as to support FREE needles for drug users. —The FREE Grain Party
- We didn’t do so well at the 2014 Olympic Games in Sochi, but maybe our skaters could try out for the upcoming Special Olympics. —The Whistleblower Winter Olympics Committee
People always ask me why there’s always so much Black History Month Hype. —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo- We have African-Americans, Mexican-Americans, Asian-Americans, Arab-Americans, and Native-Americans. How about “Just Plain Americans?” —Arnie from Alexandria
- Minorities are proud to be black, brown, yellow, and orange, and they’re not afraid to tell you about it. But when white people even admit they’re white, somebody will always call them racist.—Larry from Ludlow
Whenever a white person fails to cut Obama some slack (because he’s half-black), will Liberal bloggers stop whacking off in their basements long enough to label that white person a racist? —Fred from Florence- There’s an Hispanic Chamber of Commerce, a Black Chamber of Commerce, a Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce, but on the South Shore, all we have is the Northern Kentucky Chamber of Commerce. —Bluegrass Business Leaders
- We’re sorry to see all of The Blower’s racial healing Black History Month coverage about to end. —Gay Darkies
- On this date in 1964 Bluegrass Butterfly Cassius Clay stung like a bee when he knocked out Sonny Liston to become the world heavyweight boxing champ. So what if Cassius changed his name to Muhammad Ali. At least it wasn’t Barack Hussein. —Hurley the Historian
Target practice for Northern Kentucky Teachers is scheduled at the Boondoggle County Target Range on Wednesday evening. —Constable Joe Kalil and Sheriff Mike Helmig- We don’t want jurors to be told that Ronald “One Ball” Corman was shot in the groin during a lengthy standoff one year ago in Vanilla Hills, because sometimes bleeding-heart Juries go easy on a defendant who’s had a testicle and part of his penis shot off. —Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E Rob Sanders
Although she won’t be seen campaigning with Obama, people can hardly wait to see all those news reports after Former Pants-Dropper-in-Chief Bill Clinton headlines a fund-raiser in Louisville for Alison Wondergams Grimes tonight in her attempt to unseat Kentucky Senior Senator Bitch McConnell in November. Bill Clinton BJ jokes begin in five, four, three, two, one… —Late Night TV Joke Writers- Will Bill Clinton be returning to Northern Kentucky for BB&BJ Day on March 20? —Horny in Hebron
- Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible. —The Seediest Kids of All
- We think we deserve more credit. —United Appall People
- What time are the Olympics on tonight? —TV 19’s Lingerie-Model-Turned-Reporter-Turned-Anchorbimbo Tricia “Leemarie” Macke
- I quit WXIX-TV to embark on the most ambitious independent journalism project in history and make the Truth in Media project a reality. If the 2016 Republican National Convention comes to Cincinnati, I could sell a lot more “Pictures of Trish in Her Skating Outfit” from my Private Collection” for only $4.75 apiece. —Ben Swann
- At press time, we still hadn’t seen a new video from “Uncle Jay Explains the News” for this week, but Our Good Friend Bobby Leach has something all you Master Baiters out there might enjoy.
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Master Baiters.
— Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer —
Sometimes The Blower makes fun of racists to show that the hypocrisy all those finger-pointers will not be tolerated in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t a Liberal blogger whacking off in his mother’s basement.
This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental — You know who you are.
WHY WE’LL ALL MISS BLACK HISTORY MONTH ON SATURDAY HOT LINE
e-mail your multi-cultural mumblings today.
Some multi-cultural items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally multi-cultural contributors, but we could always use more.
WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO OF THE DAY
Judge Jeanine Pirro Investigates: U.s. Power Grid – Lights Out!
(Sent in by Faux Facebook Friend Greg Shumate: Friends 1,275, Mutual Friends 50 )
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here
