Tuesday, December 3, 2013
Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers
- American Culture has really changed for the worse during the Age of Obama. Turning “Thanksgiving into Thanksgetting,” merging Thanksgiving and the First Day of Hanukkah into “Thanksgivukkah” last Thursday, and the Retail Rampages on Black Friday are only three of the latest egregious examples. —Conservative Culture Warriors
- Did WLW Hate Radio Racist in Residence Bill Cunningham really say they call it “Black Friday” because it’s the biggest shoplifting day of the year? — Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, Revrum Lynchmob, Nate “Rhymes With Hate” Livingston, and SMLP Smithermouth
- But when we broadcast Oscar-winning actor Jamie Foxx calling Obama “our lord and savior” at the Soul Train Awards, that must really mean he’s really the messiah, right? —Black Entertainment Television
- You can’t believe how much crap those obese Americans were buying on “Black Friday (that really started on Thursday)” and “Super Saturday” using credit cards they’ll never ever be able to pay off. —Your Friends at Walmart
- And yesterday was “Cyber Monday,” because it’s the busiest day of the year for retail electronic commerce in the United States. —On-Line Over-spenders, Using their Newest Credit Cards
- Cyber Monday would’ve been a really great day for Obama’s Failed ObamaCare web site to work. —Obama Supporters in the Press
- I actually CAN’T explain healthcare.gov. This is just my cry of frustration. I’ve been offline for almost two years, but this sort of brought me back. —Uncle Jay Explains the News
- Friday will be the 72nd Anniversary of the Japanese sneak attack on Pearl Harbor, or as the Obama Administration likes to call it: “The Asian Spring.” —Hurley the Historian
- Just like in 1941, it’s getting colder today, so look for a little nip in the air. —TV 9 Weather Buffoon Larry Handjob
- We’re teaching our students who’ve not yet dropped out, that December 7 is “The Day That Will Live in Infirmity.” —Failed Cincinnati Public $chool$
- We chose that immortal line from “Animal House” when John Belushi asked, “Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell, no!” —Your Quote for Today Committee
- To show my diversity, every year on December 7, I always attack Pearl Schwartz. —The Anti-Semitic Samurai
- At Sunday’s swearing-in Ceremony, do you think I overdid it just a bit with the eyebrow pencil? —John Cranley’s Make-up Man
Do you think it’s fair that Cincinnati’s Diminutive DemocRAT Mayor John Cranley actually plans to keep his campaign promise to kill our streetcar? —Property Speculators in Over The Rhine
- Did you see where we promised to keep all of our readers updated on whether Mayor Cranley keeps all the promises he made during his campaign. —Feckless Fishwrappers
- This will obviously be a new column, since they never told you whether I kept my promises during all those years I was in office. —Dainty DemocRAT Former Mayor Mark Mallory
- Do you think our new mayor will ever forgive P.G. Sitt-n-Spin for his last-minute betrayal? —Award-Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception
What better way for our Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing Obama Voters to demonstrate their fanatical fervor than to purchase another Obama Christmas ornament this year. We all know Obama is Jesus Christ and the Savior of the DemocRAT Party. That’s why this limited edition “Last Supper” ornament is so spiritually uplifting. —The Obama 2016 Third-Term Re-election Campaign
Hey, everybody: a new shipment of Chabotheads has just arrived. —K-Mart- Saturday night, I’m scheduled to turn on the Amish Christmas Tree Lights in Adams County. —Ohio’s Second District Congressman-elect “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup
My favorite Christmas Carol is “Oh Come All Ye Faithful.” —Disgraced Anderson Dis-Trustee Kevin O’Brien, who was defeated after he went on trial for masturbating in a well-borne woman’s car- At Anderson High School’s Class of 56 Reunion Dinner at Red Lobster tomorrow night, classmates who’ll most likely enjoy the Surf and Turf will be the ones still with their own teeth. —Survivors of the Class of ‘56
- When I wrote that big story about COAST’s Litigious Lawyer Chris Finney looking for tax breaks for himself and possibly other attorneys before he opens a law office in Clermont County, I forgot to mention Finney had already moved into his new digs at 4270 Ivy Pointe Boulevard, Cincinnati, Ohio 45245. —Business Crapper Reporter Barrett J. Brunsman
- Are you sure Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane and all of the Political Insiders at the Conservative Agenda didn’t get an invitation to my Christmas Party where I’ll be kicking off my return to politics? —“Mean Jean” Schmidt
At least in that new “Snowball Fight Video,” where The Whistleblower and Newt teamed up against us local RINOs, they forgot to color my face “Blue.” —Alex T., Mall Cop GOP - We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we’ll still be calling it our “Holiday Party.” —Patty Lewis, Human Resource Director
- Our eight-day holiday is almost over. —Hanukkah Harry
- And don’t forget there are only 23 mo’ shopliftin’ days till Kwanzaa! —Kwanzaa Klaus
Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, it’s your liberal guilt giving throughout the year that makes it all possible. —The Seediest Kids of All- We don’t think we get nearly enough credit. —United Appall People
This year we have a special authentic Christmas display with Jesus riding a dinosaur. —Answers in Genesis- During the holiday season, our Covington Bimbo Chorale will be singing, “Oh. Come, All Ye Unfaithful.” —Phyllis on Madison
- On the night before Christmas, and all through the town, not a sign of Baby Jesus, should ever be found. —The Northern Kentucky ACLU
This year for Christmas, we’re not even giving all our Boondoggle County employees a lump of coal. —Judge Defective Once Moore- Don’t forget. You don’t have to be Druish to celebrate the Winter Solstice on December 21. —Dave the Druid
- And when they are celebrating World Orgasm for Peace Day in 2011, can we still have our Fake Orgasms? —Uptight Bitches in Ft. Mitchell
At the Annual Graydon Head Holiday Party at the Fort Mitchell Country Club Wednesday night they’ll be making Jews feel welcome, just like they’ve always done in Northern Kentucky since 2003. —Rick “The BatBoy” Robinson- At least this year Rick didn’t forget to use the “Bcc” feature on his e-mail invitations so everybody could figure out who else got invited. —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo
Do you think anybody will remember me at what used to be Rick’s party since I’ve been out of office for so long? — “BeanBall Jim” Bunning- Me too. —Goof Doofus
- Maybe Rick could crash the party and take along plenty of books to sign. —Rick’s Publishers
- That picture of “The Batboy” wearing his bowling team shirt on the covers of his books makes us feel right at home. —Ben Dover and Phil McKrevis
- Could The Blower please start a rumor about what higher office I’ll be running for so people will ask me about it Wednesday night? —Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E Rob Sanders
We were really surprised last week when we were once again named Whistleblower Turkeys of the Year. —Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP and Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters in Kentucky.- The best part about our traditional Thanksgiving dinner at the station was when we grabbed Trish “The Dish’s” legs and Trish said, “Make a wish.” —TV 19 Photographers
- I remember how TV5’s Sheree Paolello kept asking what part of a turkey the “Pope’s Nose” is. —Jack Atherton (Channel 22.45 in Dayton), who claims he prefers white meat
MORE CONSERVATIVE POLITICAL CARTOONS
— Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer—
Sometimes The Blower makes fun of people who publish their guest lists to show that making fun of those people who weren’t invited will not be tolerated in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t a Northern Kentucky Author/ Attorney.
This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental — especially Rick “The BatBoy” Robinson.
HOLIDAY PARTY HOT LINE
e-mail your engraved invitations today.
Some party crashing items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally party crashing subscribers
WHISTLEBLOWER LINK OF THE DAY
ObamaCar – Unbelievable Never-Before-Seen Video Revealed!
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here
