Saturday, November 2, 2013
If Only The 2014 Elections Were Next Tuesday
FRIDAY BEFORE THE ELECTION: Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus says on Friday CNN reported Harry Reid and his Disingenuous DemocRATS in the Senate had voted unanimously three years ago to support the ObamaCare rule that is largely responsible for some of the health insurance cancellation letters that are now going out.
In September 2010, Senate Republicans brought a resolution to the floor to block implementation of the DemocRATS’ grandfather rule that only applied if not a single word or fee was changed to an existing insurance policy, warning that it would result in canceled policies and violate Obama’s promise that people could keep their insurance if they liked it.
The Blower says it sounds like the GOP’s chances of retaking the Senate just got a little brighter.
- THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen is surprised just 71% think Obama knew beforehand that ObamaCare would jack up premiums before the law was implemented. If only we could have a 2012 Presidential Elections Do-Over on Tuesday, too.
BREAKING NEWS: They’ve finally fixed the ObamaCare web site. Just hit the Green “Apply Now” button to check it out.- HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this day in 1948, the Chicago Tribune jumped the gun for the next day’s edition and mistakenly declared New York Governor Thomas Dewey the winner of his presidential race with incumbent Harry S. Truman in a front-page headline: “Dewey Defeats Truman.” Hereabouts, most Persons of Consequence are wondering if The Blower will be running its “Cranley Wins” headline we’ve been working on all year.
- GET READY FOR THE RIOTS: USA Today reminds us food stamp benefits were cut to more than 47 million Americans starting Friday as a temporary boost to the federal program comes to an end without a new budget from a deadlocked Congress to replace it. Under that program, known formally as the Supplemental Nutrition and Assistance Program, or SNAP, a family of four who got $668 per month in benefits will find that amount cut by a entire $36 (can anybody even figure out how small that percentage would be?). The Congressional Black Caucus and The Fishwrap are already in full freak-out mode.
TOP TEN LIST: Today, it’s the Top Ten Reasons to Stay Home on Election Day:
10. Mattress Warehouse is having a big sale.
9. Typical lousy Greater Cincinnati weather
8. Nude transvestites on the Springer Show
7. Still “Undecided”
6. Term limits won’t undo the damage
5. Waiting for the really important elections in 2014
4. Busy begging for money to cover your own medical expenses
3. Avoid poll workers shoving campaign literature in your face
2. Confused about all those conflicting endorsements
…and the Number One Reason to Stay Home on Election Day is…you voted early.
VENDORSEMENTS: The Whistleblower does not make political endorsements, either for candidates or issues. Unlike other publications, we present as many facts as we can find and trust that our readers are intelligent enough to come to an informed decision. And since we do not accept advertising, and have no sponsors nor special interest groups to dictate their prejudices, we would not insult our readership by presuming that they are not bright enough to evaluate the candidates and issues critically on their own.- IT’S THE STUPIDITY, STUPID! The last e-mail sent by the Hamilton County RINO Party may have broken new ground for futility. This e-mail sent on November 1 says Election Day on November 5 is 11 Days away. And you thought waiting until the Friday before this year’s elections to begin to teach people how to use social media in their campaigns was a little late. Both e-mails were sent by Ashwin Corratiyil, who himself is a former campaign worker for DemocRAT John Kerry! Any day now Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP will probably be interviewing prospective candidates to run for Mayor of Cincinnati on Tuesday.
ANOTHER GUEST EDITORIAL BY BUNKY TADWELL: A word about voting. Stop it. Do not encourage these people. Year after year somebody has to have a voter registration drive. Look at what it hath wrought. So please, no more voter registration drives. We have too many people mucking about in the booth as it is.
Now about those candidates: They are saying more about nothing than ever before. One hapless buffoon is speaking in tongues or has elevated the art of gobbledygook to new heights. Another candidate claims he’s been working hard to earn re-election. Judging from his real accomplishments, this guy should be placed in a slower class.
Should we keep taking cheap shots at these people? Why not? Remember that the quality of our political candidates simply reflects our culture. They say and do nothing because the public wishes to hear nothing and have nothing done. It’s all crap because people are buying crap.
And if they do promise you something? They can’t give it to you unless they take it from somebody else. And if they take it from you, you can be sure you’ll be getting back less than you gave.
Now for today’s poem from the Bard of Cleves:
Hot Air today, Cold Shoulder Tomorrow
What choice do we have on Election Day?
It really is a sin.
We vote to throw the rascals out.
Then throw more rascals in.
- TODAY’S RACIAL HEALING UPDATE comes to you courtesy of Dr. James D. Manning. Watch it closely and pay attention to the end where there is a short pause, then 4 words. Listen for those words! It could not be put more bluntly! Be prepared!!
- OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER liked Jay Leno’s, “I had a trick-or-treater Thursday night who stood outside on my porch for an hour, didn’t ring the bell, didn’t knock on the door. I said, “Who are you supposed to be?” He said, “I’m an undecided voter.”
- COPS COVERING UP: Is the local FOP continuing to cover up for their “leadership?” Not only are we hearing nothing about replacing scandal plagued president Kathy Harrell after the judge at her civil trial said she might not have been totally honest when she claimed she didn’t know the $12,000 she got from Diana Frey, incarcerated former head of the Cincinnati Organized and Dedicated Employees union in 2009, was stolen. But then to give everyone a little hint what he really thought, Judge Niehaus awarded a Judgement against Kathy’s sorry ass for three times the $12,000 Dinana “gave” her got Now they don’t seem to be saying much about that traffic accident involving FOP 1st Vice President Terry Peirano. This seems to be typical of their mentality: Ignoring wrong doing or make excuses when it’s committed by their membership yet, screaming for justice when it’s the other way around. Here the two highest office holders are at the center of controversy and the FOP’s strategy is to remain silent in hopes it will all blow over. Where are the demands for accountability from within that organization?
Speaking of the police, Toronto Police Services, the biggest municipal force in Canada, announced this week that it is thinking about equipping its front-line officers with a new breed of law-enforcement video camera: the on-body recording system. The miniature cameras, mounted on the shoulder or on eyeglasses, are becoming more and more prevalent as a way of reducing police brutality and providing evidence in a police shooting. Could Whistleblower Dream Team Chairman Scott Greenwood and Retired Real Police Chief Tom Streicher be advising these folks too? [READ MORE HERE]
LAST-MINUTE MUD-SLINGING: When Graeter’s broke ground in Over-the Rhine, everybody was wondering if Foxy Roxy sold Graeter’s that parcel along Dainty DemocRAT Mayor Mark Mallory’s Trolley Folly line, too, after they were wondering what in the hell Graeter’s was thinking!- CH SNITCH AT 1000 MAIN STREET says the reason Ditzy DemocRAT Juvenile Judge Traci Hunter is still stick with Firooz Namei and James “The Rock” Bogen as her attorneys is because the only way Judge Hunter can get new lawyers would be if 9 Common Pleas judges signed off on it. She does not get to unilaterally fire her lawyers. She also does not get to hire her own lawyers or proceed without one because either option is forbidden by statute when a county official is sued in his or her official capacity. If Judge Hunter gets sued in her individual capacity or charged with a crime, then she can hire whomever she wants. So we guess she’ll have to pull that old trick again of filing malpractice charges against her lawyers which ethically requires them to resign from representing her.
IN GREED TOWNSHIP: The Cincinnati-West 9/12 Project says after watching Trustee David Linnenberg’s cheery support of CMHA’s facilitator at the Greed Township Senior Center last summer, we know the township took the funds/grants from one of the government agencies and now we have 32 low income sites in Greed Township. We hope they enjoyed the money, because now we the residents of Greed Township will be making room for CMHA’s clients. Maybe it’s time the real Conservatives in Greed Township to send a message to the Republican party, if you take federal funds from federal agencies representing UN Agenda 21/Sustainable Development, you will no longer get our vote.
Conservative Candidate Jeff Smith says he just received a copy of a “personal plea” from Alex Triantafilou, head of the Hamilton County GOP (and husband of Green Township patronage hire Jennifer Triantafilou) to his friends and neighbors who live in Greed Township. Jeff thinks it’s indicative of the fear which the members of the good old boys club have of losing their grip on the patronage machine which Greed Township has come to represent.
IN ANDERSON: With the total news blackout this year on the historic 2013 Township Trustee Elections in the Forest Hills Urinal, Angry Andersons have asked The Blower to reprint its Award Winning Voter Education E-dition that focused on this year’s most important Anderson Township issue earlier this year. That’s why we’re bringing it to you again as a public service. [CLICK HERE]- MORE SOREHEADS IN THE SUBURBS:
Republicans for Higher Taxes endorse Pam Detzel, David Denny, and Dexter Carpenter (no relation to Dexter Morgan) for Northwest School Board, believing them to be the top high-tax candidates. They especially want you to vote against Christopher Heather and Michael Harlow, as they are the two dedicated fiscal conservatives running.
They also found quite a number of juvenile grammatical errors on Pam Detzel’s own bio page on the Northwest Schools website. How can Detzel competently run a school district when she can’t even write at a 9th grade level?
Republicans for Higher Taxes also endorse Will Oswall for Delhi Township Trustee. Since Delhi residents are not sophisticated enough to run their own Township, these tax hikers believe that a lawyer who just moved there from Oakley is the best choice to show Delhi how their affairs should be run.
INSCO EXPOSED: Our Colerain Crusader (probably not Keith “I am the Greatest Republican Who Ever Lived” Corman) says, here it is, court documents showing Colerain’s Park Ranger Wannabe and Township Trustee Candidate Greg Insco skipped out on his bills in pursuing his “dream” of walking across the country to drop off his Survivor audition tape, for which he was completely rejected. Insco is backed by perennial Colerain Township losers like Four-Party Kathy Mohr who has been rejected over the years by Republicans, DemocRATs, Independents and TEA Partiers; 4-time loser Tom Hart who is much better at developing long-winded manifestos than he is at winning elections; and Insco’s fellow deadbeat, DemocRAT Joe Wolterman, no stranger to the defense side of the civil courtroom himself. Yet Insco claims they want to remain anonymous until after the elections. If only there was reporter in Colerain Township, a so-called “community expert” who would cover these clowns instead of covering for them.
SAY IT AIN’T SO, PATRICK: Billy Ballbuster says it’s always sad when we find out that a supposed Conservative has gone over to the dark side. But it is really sad when that person goes over to the dark side and yet wants that fact hidden and wants the world to believe he is really still a good Conservative. But the job of the Whistleblower is to never pull a punch particularly when that punch is to the tender bits below the waste. Imagine the horror when we were driving by Kenwood Towne Center on Wednesday evening and witnessed ZOO employees conducting a silly sign wave at the corner. And lurking in the background was our supposed Conservative Patrick Maloney. Yes, that Patrick Maloney, the supposed Conservative that wants to run in the Republican primary in Butler County against TEA Party favorite Wes Rutherford. Patrick works for the ZOO levy campaign that will fleece the over-taxed payers of millions of dollars supposedly to feed the zoo animals. But the funds with really go to Thane Maynard’s pay increases and something called camp MOJO where the zoo gives favorite employees free trip and cooking classes with the levy money. Patrick should have known better than to work for this group, because now we can never trust him to be in elected office after this embarrassment. Very sad, Pat. Go home, light up a cigar, pour a glass of bourbon, and imagine yourself a principled Conservative, because your secret is still safe with us.
IN OHIO’S SECOND CONGRESSIONAL DISTRICT: In Ohio’s Second Congressional District, most constituents might not have noticed the grammatical error in the subject line of “Bronze Star Brad’s” latest e-mail (“They knew American’s would lose their health insurance), but this year on Halloween, all those kids went out begging for candy dressed as their Congressman and not like a witch all those years “Mean Jean” Schmidt was in office.
IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY: Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says Bitch McConnell has taken ObamaCare Repeal off the table, during a speech to K Street lobbyists and high dollar donors. McConnell was really in “fighting mode” but, unfortunately for us, he’s not fighting for the American people.
Act Right.com (The online clearing house for Conservative Action) calls our Senate Minority Leader “Mr. Surrender.” A career politician, McConnell has been in the Senate for nearly thirty years and was a politician in Kentucky for years before that. If there ever was a poster boy for “go along, get along” it’s Bitch McConnell. He’s paid so much lip service to Conservative issues he’s about run out of lips! And that’s the trouble with him and his colleagues in the Surrender Caucus — nothing but talk while they betray conservative principles in every major fight with liberal DemocRATS. TEA Party Patriots in Kentucky, please make a note.
- MAYBE THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose “McConnell’s Classic line: “The single most important thing we want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one-term president.”
ALSO IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY, the CamBoozler wonders how many of his current readers are still around from the good old days. 22 years ago in the edition that came out on October 29, 1991, he asked where’s William (William T. Robinson III), while Legendary Northern Kentucky Bureau Chief J.R. Hatfield wrote a last ditch effort to preserve naked dancing in Newport when attorney Harry “the Horse” Hellings pledged to appeal two of his clients all the way to the Supreme Court, if necessary.- MEANWHILE IN PENNSYLVANIA, Our Good Friend Tom says the new Royal Baby George has already done three of the things on his “bucket list”: Become a billionaire, Met the Queen, and sucked on Kate Middleton’s Tits. “Make that two things,” Tom says. “Come to think of it, meeting the Queen wasn’t all that important.”
FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Charles Foster Kane if he was going to remind our readers that Daylight Savings Time is coming to an end tonight. “Guys at the fire house say when you change your clocks this weekend, don’t forget to change your battery in your smoke alarms,” our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher explained. “And in Loveland, Dildo World CEO Patty Brisben says, ladies shouldn’t forget the batteries in their vibrators either.”- REMEMBER: If you can’t improve on the news, you shouldn’t even be reporting it.
More Conservative Political Cartoons
PRE ELECTION WEEKEND HOTLINE
e-mail your last-minute hit pieces today.
Some overly aggressive items today’s Blower were sent in by our equally overly aggressive subscribers.
LINK OF THE DAY
I’m ObamaCare – Down
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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