Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers

Yesterday to commemorate the bombing Hiroshima, The Blower forgot to mention how Obama’s Foreign Policy is bombing these days. —Bombsight Designer Carl Norden
Most of the world doesn’t even respect Obama. His “red lines” are useless. His “threats” are laughed at. And we closed embassies around the world on Obama’s birth day after Obama told us the war on terror was as good as over. —Judge Jeanine, Hammering Obama on the Whistleblower Link of the Day\
Obama has taken America to new lows on the international stage. We’ve never seen the US so disrespected and held in such contempt, like this popular Egyptian music video telling Obama to screw himself and stop funding Jihad terrorists. —Hosni Mubarak
A year ago, Obama claimed we were on run. Now America is on the run. —Al Qaeda “On Steroids” Since the Benghazi Attack
Just because we now have a global terror alert, doesn’t mean Benghazi wasn’t a phony scandal.—Obama’s White House Spokes Dweeb Jay Cardboard
As Obama’s top national security advisors gathered at the White House for an urgent Saturday meeting to discuss the terrorist threat that forced the United States to close embassies overseas, Obama was golfing and celebrating his birthday with friends at Camp David. —Obama’s Caddy
After four and a half years, the trial of Muslim Terrorist U.S. Army Major Nidal Malik Hasan (who murdered 13 and 30 others at Fort Hood) is finally beginning this week. Please don’t imply the Army’s Political Correctness was any way at fault. —Obama’s Also Politically Correct FBI
Our grassroots group with thousands of members is planning nationwide protests on August 6 calling for President Obama’s impeachment. — “Overpasses for Impeachment”
If NBC and CNN have not agreed to pull their plans to air films promoting Hillary Clinton for president in 2016 prior to the start of the RNC’s Summer Meeting on August 14, I will seek a binding vote stating that the RNC will neither partner with these networks in 2016 primary debates nor sanction primary debates they sponsor. —Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus
We’re already prepping our activists for town halls with their U.S. Representatives and Senators on ObamaCare and immigration nationwide over the month of August. —TEA Party Patriots and Liberal Whackos
Did anybody notice our special exemption from ObamaCare health coverage that everybody else is mandated to buy? —Crooks in Congress
Maybe that’s why we adapted H.L. Mencken’s “Nobody ever went broke underestimating the cynicism and self-dealing of the American political class.” —Your Quote for Today Committee
Does anybody remember when I enrolled as the first Medicare beneficiary in 1965? —Harry Truman
As director of the Ohio Department of Insurance, I’m working to help Ohioans protect themselves from Obama’s failed health care law, because health insurance premiums in Ohio are likely to rise as much as 41% as a result of Obama’s Unaffordable Health Care. —Lieutenant Governor Mary Kasich Taylor
Not that it really matters, but Monday morning, the Hamilton County Board of Elections told me I still get to be in the Cincinnati Mayor’s September 10 Primary Election, because I screwed up my attempts to withdrawal so badly last week, I was never really off the ballot. —Loony Libertarian Mayoral Candidate Jim Berns
Berns’ screw-up was almost as big as those thirty law enforcement union member officers across Hamilton County who feloniously used police stations where they work as their address when registering to vote. —Demo-Labor Party Boss Tim Burka and Alex T., Mall Cop GOP at the BOE
Please congratulate our two new investigative reporters. James Pilcher and Amber Hunt will now be looking out for the public interest, other than mentioning all those reporters Skaggie Maggie and Wedgie Washburn fired last week. —Metro Mole at The Fishwrap
Maybe they could try to find my Legacy. —Cincinnati’s Girly Mayor Mark Mallory off on a Junket to Japan
The Blower may have been weeks ahead on one aspect of The Fishwrap’s puff piece editorial about me, but the Hamilton County Sheriff’s Department is not $5 million over budget, it’s only $4 million. —Sheriff Jimmy
Does anybody else hear that Giant Sucking Sound coming from Mediocre American Ballpark? —Typical Reds Rooter Farley Fairweather
Please don’t ask when we’ll be taking those charges for Showtime off your bill. —Warner Cable
Guess which well-known Greater Cincinnatian “likes little boys.” —Whistleblower Gossip Columnist Linda Libel
What’s the big rush about following up on The Blower’s exclusive coverage of Republican Party Endorsed Township Trustee Candidates Josh Gerth and Andy Pappas? There are still 91 more days. —Disgraced Masturbating Trustee Kevin O’Brien’s Enablers at The Forest Hills Urinal
Due to increased turnout and space limitations, there may be limited seating. As a result, we may go with a standing room/rally type meeting format.—Clermont TEA Party
Please tell over-taxed payers in the Lebanon School District to vote against the renewal levy today. —NoTaxJack
Was Emcee Ferrell Wellman a little over-the-top when he claimed the 12,000 visitors at Fancy Farm on Saturday from all corners of the state screaming and shouting their political beliefs, were at the “center of the political universe?” —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo
Did anybody notice that dirty old Bitch McConnell ogling my sexy legs at the Fancy Farm picnic on Saturday? —DemocRAT challenger Alison Lundergams Grimes
Did you see where Senator McConnell made arrangements for the GOP sponsored buses to leave for home IMMEDIATELY after the “elected” politicians spoke? This meant that anyone riding the bus would not get to hear Matt Bevin. — Northern Kentucky TEA Partiers

What about us? —Ed Marksberry, another DemocRAT running for U.S. Senate
This week’s This Week In Kenton Circuit Court features a bevy of bad guys convicted of everything from Welfare Fraud to Manufacturing Methamphetamine, but mostly just heroin related offenses. —Our Good Friend Kenton County Commonwealth’s Attorney E Rob Sanders
Did anybody see where Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters made national news again, this time for coming in sixth on that top ten list of Silly Facebook Posts That Got People Fired? —That Cabal of NoKY Attorneys Still Out to Destroy Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters (Including the Lisa Wells Fan Club
Hey, Fellow Homophobes. If you were driving through Florence on Monday, you had a chance to help further education and get a free sandwich, because Chick-fil-A was sponsoring a Stuff the Bus challenge at its location at 4980 Houston Road. —Phil Burr-ass
Trish the Dish wants to know if that Fancy Farm Picnic was anything like that Fantasy Farm Amusement Park in Ohio? —Channel 19 News
I quit WXIX-TV to embark on the most ambitious independent journalism project in history and make the Truth in Media project a reality. Do you think the center of the political universe at Fancy Farm would be a good place to start? —Ben Swann

Some of Today’s Conservative Political Cartoons

— Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer —

Sometimes The Blower makes fun of political picnics to show that standing out in all that hot sun when you don’t have to is not acceptable in our society. This should be clear to anybody who really likes listening to political speeches.

This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental, especially people who even know where Fancy Farm is.

TERRORIST ALERT HOT LINE

e-mail your cell serious and specific dangers today.

Some alarmist items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally alarmist subscribers.

Whistleblower Link of the Day

Judge Jeanine’s Opening Statement Hammers Obama ~ 8-3-13

Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.