Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers
We’re already hyping Obama’s Historic MLK Moment tomorrow when he speaks in the same place the civil rights icon stood at the Lincoln Memorial as he commemorates the 1963 March on Washington. —Obama Supporters in the Press- And illegally desecrating an American flag with Obama’s picture makes it easier for us to say our Pledge Allegiance to Obama. —The Obama Legacy Committee
- Will tomorrow be another National Holiday when we’ll be all be getting paid not to work? —Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters
- At Saturday’s MLK Rally, Al Sharpton told me to call for “re-launching” Dr. Martin Luther King’s dream by pushing for a meaningless voters’ bill of rights constitutional amendment. —Ohio State Rep-Tile Stevecia Race
- Please don’t ask if Obama will be explaining why black unemployment rate has returned to double that of the white unemployment rate and Race Relations have only gotten worse during the five years Obama’s been president. —Obama’s White House Spokes Dweeb Jay Cardboard
- Attendance figures our friends in the news media will reporting will be really inflated, just like the numbers we gave out for Saturday’s Rally. —National Association for the Advancement of Liberal Colored People
- Sunday, Obama told me how hard he was working trying to fix America’s problems while I was driving him around the golf course. —Obama’s Caddy
- Will Obama hold off bombing us at least until his MLK 50th Anniversary Speech has been concluded? —Innocent Civilians in Syria
- How stupid are Obama Supporters anyway? See how easily they signed my petition to Repeal the Fifth Amendment? —Mark Dice
- Why does that new Public Policy Poll show Ohio Republicans favor Senator Rand Paul from Kentucky as their top choice for a 2016 presidential candidate? —John Kasich and Rob “Fighting for Fund-Raisers” Portman
- Tuesday afternoon’s Statewide Rally to “Pull the Plug on ObamaCare” at House Speaker John Boehner’s Office in Troy, Ohio (wherever the hell that is) is such a BFD, organizers even asked Republican Endorsed Anderson Township Trustee Candidate Andy Pappas to join all of us Social Conservatives speaking at the rally. —Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders
- That’s probably because Andy was only one of the two Anderson Township Trustee Candidates of all political parties (Josh Gerth and Andrew Pappas) who signed The Whistleblower’s Pledge Never Ever to Masturbate in Your Car, like Whacky Jacky O’Brien’s Illegitimate Son Kevin. —Duffy “The Kevin Slayer” Beischel
- If everybody’s forgotten Richard Nixon’s “Committee to Reelect the President (CREEP),” would it be OK if we borrowed the name (CREEP) for Kevin’s Campaign?—Committee to Re-elect the Pervert (CREEP)
The most amazing thing about our $6,306.34 lawsuit against Kevin P. O’Brien at PO Box 8805 in Hyde Park (case 13cv12833) was his answer, when he Kevin said, “I’m in the process of filing bankruptcy. I would like permission from the court for more time to process this action.” —Capital One Bank- Nothing to see here, folks! Just move along.—Kevin’s Enablers at the Forest Hills Urinal
- With our $400,000 Primary Election to Eliminate Competition now only ten days away, we find it highly offensive that Loony Libertarian Cincinnati Mayoral Candidate Jim Berns is pandering to black weed smokers by running his “Don’t Ask, Don’t Smell Ad” on Da Buzz. —Disguised DemocRAT John Cranley and Extremely Liberal DemocRAT Foxy Roxy Qualls
- When people read about how the State of Ohio has accused me of securities fraud, was Republicans For Higher Taxes reminding their readers about my three DUIs in Northern Kentucky? —Trolley Folly Fanatic Candace Klein
Please don’t ask how few people actually showed up at my Mayor’s Speaker Series Event sponsored by AT&T yesterday, featuring that international bestselling author who’s just trying to sell more books. —Cincinnati Girly Mayor Mark Mallory- Garrulous Grammarian says maybe that grammatical error in the first line of Mallory’s invitation had something to do with it. —Conservative Curmudgeon Stu Mahlin
- When do we get to start skimming our ill-gotten gains from Cincinnati’s Parking Plot? —The Port of Greater Cincinnati Development Authority
- Lack of migrant workers in Michigan, has caused the fruit to rot on the ground. See what happens when the illegals come to this country and start collecting food stamps, free housing, and schooling. We stop working just like the Brothers who stopped picking cotton. —Moises, Julio, Alfredo, and Jose
- On this date in 1939, the first televised baseball game featured the Cincinnati Reds and the Brooklyn Dodgers, and Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy Furman says after watching the Reds striking out Sunday afternoon at Mediocre American Ball Park, you’ll never guess who lost. —Hurley the Historian
- That’s why we chose Yogi Berra’s “The other teams could make trouble for us if they win.” —Your Quote for Today Committee
Horny in Hebron wants to know if we’ll be seeing more of Kentucky Secretary of State Alison Wondergams Grimes’s legs during her run against Bitch McConnell for Kentucky’s U.S. Senate seat. —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo - We’re still wondering when Crazy Eric’s going to call a press conference to celebrate that unanimous verdict convicting Precious Allen, 31, a local mama accused of punching, kicking and holding down a 15-year-old girl last February, while Allen’s daughter reportedly hit the girl in the face with a combination lock. —That Cabal of NoKY Attorneys Still Out to Destroy Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters including lovely Lisa Wells (the attorney who replaced Crazy Eric on WLW Hate Radio)
- Not all of our volunteer middle school football coaches have been charged with felonies like first-degree sexual abuse and using electronic communications to induce a minor to engage in sexual activity. —Holy Cross School
- Isn’t it odd that all three murderers of that Australian baseball player in Oklahoma because they were “bored” and both murderers in the brutal beating death of 88-Year-Old WWII Vet Delbert Belton look like they could be Obama’s sons? —Veterans Against Obama
- I have a question for Ben Dover and Phil McKrevis. If two queers get married and adopt a kid, and then they have sex with the kid; are they guilty of incest, pedophilia, or just having a Michael Jackson moment? —Larry the Rantin Redneck
This week’s This Week In Kenton Circuit Court featured dozens of ugly mugs, but you didn’t see the City of Covington’s Finance Director Bob Due because he was just arrested and the Robster only publishes felons who’ve been convicted! —Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E Rob Sanders - Due’s arrest was the talk of the town in Covington, however insiders wonder how long it’ll be before we start asking City Manager Larry de-Klein tough questions about how the thievery went on so long and how much is really missing! —Covington City Commissioners
- And folks just can’t decide what was funnier, Channel 5’s Courtis Fuller broadcasting live outside what he called Kenton County’s jail, which actually hasn’t been the jail since a new one was built three years ago; or the fact that Channel 9 couldn’t find anyone better to interview than resigned in disgrace former City Commissioner Steve “I’m 5′ not 4’10″” Megerle, who certainly knows a thing or two about getting convicted of a crime. —NoKY TV Newswatchers
Please thank Wing Patriot (Standing Up For Conservative Values) for making me their first “Hero of the Week” for refusing to show any film with Hanoi Jane Fonda, due to my conviction (and a correct one!) that Fonda is a traitor. —Elizabethtown, Kentucky Theatre Owner Ike Boutwell- It’s too bad all the county fairs in Kenton, Campbell, or Boondoggle County are over this year. —Rodeo Clowns Wearing Obama Masks
- Trish the Dish says we need to interview people 50 years old who remember Martin Luther King’s “I Have a Dream Speech” fifty years ago tomorrow. —Channel 19 News
- I quit WXIX-TV to embark on the most ambitious independent journalism project in history and make the Truth in Media project a reality. Maybe I need to read The Blower to figure out how to do that. —Ben Swann
More Conservative Political Cartoons
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Sometimes The Blower makes fun of Obama Supporters in the Press to show that unfair-and-biased hacks will not be tolerated in our society. This should be clear to anybody who doesn’t have an O-basm over Obama’s Historic 50th Anniversary MLK Speech tomorrow.
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OBAMA MLK SPEECH HOT LINE
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Some sarcastic items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally sarcastic subscribers.
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Judge Jeanine: US gov’t full of nothing but hot air?
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