Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers
As kids return to school this week, we’ll continue our dumbing-down process for 2013. — Obama Supporters in the Press- And we’ll keep telling you how much we really, really care about education. —Elected Officials Running for Re-election on November 5 in only “77” more days
- Obama wants to raise your taxes to hire more teachers and administrators. That way, corrupt teachers unions will have more money to donate to us. —Despicable DemoCRATS
- And we’re already ignoring Section 3315.07 of the Ohio Revised Code (that says no Board of Education shall use public funds to support school employees campaigning for school tax hikes) and scheduling field trips to the Board of Election to register fifth grade students old enough to vote for Obama DemocRATS. —Your School Board
- Is Obama the President or a Paper Tiger? —Judge Jeanine
- For a President who won the Nobel Peace prize only months into his presidency, times have truly changed. The foreign policy reset Obama promised after President George W. Bush’s tenure did not materialize, and in fact, America’s standing in the world has only gotten worse. —Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus
- As the death toll continues to rise, only 18% say the U.S. should continue military aid to Egypt and belief among U.S. voters that Egypt will become a peaceful and democratic nation in the near future has really diminished since the Arab Spring in 2011. —Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen
- The only reason those poll numbers were so low is that the Liberal Press is upset that we took out those Murdering Muslim Brotherhood Fanatics taking over Egypt and killing Christians. —Egyptian General Sissi and the Entire Egyptian Military
Last week as Egypt burned, Obama was having a gay old time at Martha’s Vineyard, but I was hard at it… Kiteboarding. But don’t worry, this week I’ll get right back to work on those Israeli-Palestinian accords. — Obama’s Clueless Secretary of State John Kerry- We still want teachers to blame America for those Murdering Muslim terrorist attacks on September 11. —The National Education Association
- In Obama’s America, the percentage of Americans selling their food stamps back to stores for cash has only increased by 30% over the past several years. — Dumb Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters
- Here’s our progress report for our “Million Muslim March” on Washington, D.C., this September 11, on the 12th anniversary of the attack on America that claimed 2,996 lives. So far 57 people have signed up. —American Muslim Political Action Committee (“AMPAC”)
If only this nation had a Balanced Budget Amendment, what a wonderful world it would be. —Ohio GOP Governor John Kasich Taylor- Please act surprised when we accept all that filthy lucre from the City of Cincinnati on that ill-fated Parking Meter Scam. —The Port of Cincinnati Development Authority
- I can’t believe tickets are still available for my big Candidates Forum this week, featuring my four candidates (Charlie Winburn and challengers Amy Murray, Sam Malone and Melissa Wegman) for the nine seats on Cincinnati’s City Clown-cil. —Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP
- Our problem is we have ten candidates for nine spots on clown-cil and two candidates for mayor. —Demo-Labor Party Boss Tim Burka
- Please send me $2,000 so I can pay for a special package of 40 ads on 700 WLW, The Buzz and 55KRC. —Loony Libertarian Cincinnati Mayoral Candidate Jim Berns
- It’s a special program we have for Fools and Their Money where we promise those ads will double the number of votes they can expect. —The Greedy Weasels at Clear Channel
Did The Fishwrap really compare our records on Cincinnati City Clown-cil and find out we only voted differently 19 out of 849 times? —Disguised DemocRAT John Cranley and Extremely Liberal DemocRAT Foxy Roxy Qualls- And I say, fuck all you mother-fucking mother fuckers. —Queen Noble
- Courthouse hacks still can’t stop snickering after I denied Ditzy DemocRAT Juvenile Court Judge Tracie Hunter’s request to get her greedy hands on $170,000 in back pay and the status of presiding judge that she would have received if her 2010 election victory not taken 17 months to resolve. —Federal Judge Mrs. $tan Che$ley
- Thanks for ratting me out on that $25,189.81 still owing on my most recent campaign finance report from the last time my enablers at the Forest Hills Urinal got me elected. —Disgraced Masturbating Anderson Township Trustee Kevin O’Brien
- Have you checked out our new web pages? — Endorsed Republican Anderson Township Trustee Candidates Josh Gerth and Andrew Pappas
- On this date in 1833, Benjamin Harrison was born in North Bend, Ohio. Today, what percentage of our Failed Cincinnati Public $kool$ honor students who return to class this week do you imagine could tell you who Benjamin Harrison was? — Hurley the Historian
- That’s why chose Will Rogers’ “The schools ain’t what they used to be and never was.” — Your Quote for Today Committee
Most children in Northern Kentucky have already returned to chool. —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo- Handing out thousands of backpacks filled with free school supplies is something else we’re seeing a lot more of during the Age of Obama. —Church Volunteers
- Your children’s self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it. —Northern Kentucky Educators
- We can hardly wait to see if teachers like that Bungals cheerleader will be having sex with their students. —Horny Guys in Junior High
- The Free Condom Dispenser was empty on the first day. —Nerds at NKU
- The first holiday on Labor Day isn’t until September 2. —Children in Union Households
- On the first day of school, I always tell my class we’re only having half a day of school that morning, and when the class says “Hooray,” I tell them we’ll be having the other half that afternoon. —Mrs. Carson, Who Really Hates Kids
- Trish the Dish says it’s only Tuesday and she’s already tired of doing Back to School stories. —Channel 19 News
- I quit WXIX-TV to embark on the most ambitious independent journalism project in history and make the Truth in Media project a reality. Maybe I need to go back to school to figure out how to do that. —Ben Swann
More Conservative Political Cartoons
— Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer —
Sometimes The Blower makes fun of public schools to show that wasting all that over-taxed payer money is not acceptable in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t an Obama-loving Member of the Teachers Union.
This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental, especially those handing out diplomas to 18-year-olds who can’t even read.
BACK TO SCHOOL HOT LINE
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Whistleblower Link of the Day
PUBLIC SCHOOL PRINCIPAL MEETS SHELLY THE HOME SCHOOL MOM
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