Friday, June 28, 2013
Explaining Today’s Extraordinary Hype Shortage
Whistleblower Political Prognosticator Nostradamus Tadwell says we all should’ve listened to him, because with only 1,301 more days of Obama’s Second Term, today’s acute shortage of available hype will probably make it impossible for the American news media to function properly.
The crisis was caused when Our First Gay President took time out from his $100 million over-taxed payer funded early summer family vacation to call the Supreme Court’s ruling on same-sex marriage “Fabulous,” and began promoting gay marriage in Africa.
- Our Quote for Today Committee chose Obama’s “I won’t force churches in America to perform gay marriages, at least not right away,” and there won’t be enough hype to cover all that religious tolerance.
You just knew The Fishwrap would be featuring pictures of oversexed lesbians hugging on Thursday’s Front Page.
Liberals could hardly contain themselves. It’s no wonder the reaction was “hyperbolic” among all those Liberal Operatives on TV; Obama Administration Paid Liars; Dervish DemocRAT Pundits Spinning to the Left; Dishonest DemocRAT Public Officials; Progressive Reporters, Campaign Weasels, and Party Hacks; Left Wing Political Strategists and Consultants, along with the usual RINOs in Congress looking for more face time on the TV News.
- The mayoral races in Cincinnati and New York will answering two long held questions: In New York Can a democrat man win a race for mayor against a lesbian after tweeting a picture of his penis? While in Cincinnati, everyone wants to know can a DemocRAT man win a race against a lesbian without tweeting a picture of his penis?
- Hairy Homophobe Phil Burr-ass says, “Don’t get your hopes up, gay rights activists. Wednesday’s DOMA decision won’t bring gay marriage to Ohio, Kentucky, or Indiana,” if his Citizens for Community Values organization has anything to say about it. Come to think of it, the only places same sex marriage is recognized are Connecticut, Delaware, Iowa, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Minnesota, New Hampshire, New York, Rhode Island, Vermont, Washington, and California —as well as the District of Columbia and five Native American tribes.
- Speaking of Stupid SCOTUS Surprises, today’s the one year anniversary of the date the Supreme Court ruled to uphold Obama’s Health Care Legacy by defining ObamaCare as a “tax” (which Obama had claimed time and time again it wasn’t). A year later, Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says a record number of voters now want the So-Called 2010 Affordable Care Act repealed entirely. But The Blower remembers all that cheering on the day SCOTUS gave ObamaCare a pass. In Ohio’s Second Congressional District, this video of That Defeated, Corrupt, Evicted, Lying, Plagiarizing, Meddling, Overblown, Bought-And-Paid-For, Tax-And-Spend, Wrinkle-Puss RINO Bitch-In-A-Ditch “Mean Jean” Schmidt’s ObamaCare Outburst will never be forgotten.
Hurley the Historian says on this date in 1969, a police raid of the Stonewall Inn (a gay club located on New York City’s Christopher Street) turned violent as patrons and local sympathizers begin rioting against the police, and that’s where “Stonewall” got its name, and Whistleblower Alternate Life-Styles Contributors Ben Dover and Phil McKrevis report folks working on floats for this weekend’s Gay Pride Parade in Cincinnati say and there won’t be enough hype to cover that.
And wait until you see Cincinnati’s acting Police Chief marching in the Gay Pride parade. They even made a new rainbow flag with the Cincinnati Police badge on it. The Cincinnati PD’s full-time liaison officer assigned to the gay groups apparently needed something to do.
- Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says folks at Kentucky Speedway guaranteed there will be no more traffic and parking problems at the big Quaker State 400 race on Saturday, as long as all those gay NASCAR fans show up at the Gay Pride Parade instead.
- FINALLY AT TODAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about today’s shortage of hype and he said it’s because of all that excessive publicity being used for the Supreme Court’s long-awaited Gay Marriage ruling.
“The mainstream media has to start thinking outside the box,” Kane explained. “I’m sure they could find a way to report some of the other news they seem to lose, if only they would try.”
Stories We’re Working On
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Senate poised to pass Amnesty Bill - Nancy Pelosi says Americans should celebrate ObamaCare on July 4
- IRS targeted 292 Conservative groups and six Liberal groups for balance
- Gay Marriage ruling creates new tensions
- Dems who voted for DOMA cheered its end
- Gays are the next Jews of fund-raising
- No Gay Day Parade in Mainstrasse
Whistleblower Web Poll
This week, here’s why the first 17,648 Whistleblower Readers Poll respondents Hamilton County Commissioners failed to publicize their “2013 Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender Pride Day Proclamation”:
(A) They forgot: 2%
(B) The dog ate it: 1%
(C) Guys at Simon Says said nobody would ever find out: 1%
(D) Didn’t think all those voters who weren’t Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, or Transgender would approve: 96%
Note: Everything we write doesn’t have to be so damn cynical and mean-spirited, it’s just so much more fun that way!
Some of Today’s Political Cartoons
Could It Possibly Be True?
This week, everybody who says Newsweek didn’t do Obama a favor when they called him “America’s First Gay President” because some of those those Dumb Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span Free-Stuff Grabbing Low-Information Obama Supporters are stupid enough to believe Obama is actually afflicted with The Gayness, e-mailed an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.
The winner is Gaywad Flamer, who says he’s not really homosexual, but he is willing to learn.
Gaywad wins a “LGBT for Obama” bumper sticker (It’s Fabulous!”), a chance for somebody to push his stool in at the next Log Cabin Republicans meeting, a Three Way with Ben Dover and Phil McKrevis, and an equal opportunity to walk in tomorrow’s Gay Day Parade with the gay member of Cincinnati Clowncil of his choice. His winning entry is:
Obama says it’s now good to be gay,
But he can’t help selling out: he was “born that way.”
Barry gives new meaning to the term “sucking up” –
Will he now fund-raise by giving head and a schtupp?
May he resign before he sinks any lower, I pray.
And from the Anderson Laureate (whose old girlfriend’s doctor just found his high school ring):
Obama says it’s now good to be gay
And blesses homos on their wedding day
Gee, that’s not what he said
Why isn’t his face red?
Oh, I know. He did it for political hay.
The first line of next week’s limerick is:
“When we celebrate the Fourth of July”
HISTORIC PRESIDENCY HOT LINE
E-mail your extraordinary examples today.
Some historically accurate items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally historically accurate subscribers.
Whistleblower Link of the Day
“The Loophole”
Substitute “Mohammed” for Jesus and You’d Have Worldwide Riots
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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