Daily Archives: June 13, 2013

Special “Lawyer-Palooza” E-dition

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Because We Say So Many Nice Things About Them

  • image005ACLU SUES OBAMA ADMINISTRATION OVER NSA SURVEILLANCE: Whistleblower Legal Dream Team Chairman, Noted ACLU Mouthpiece Scott Greenwood asks, “Which civil liberties and civil rights organization is going to bat for all Americans against Obama’s surveillance state?” The ACLU lawsuit argues that the program violates the First Amendment rights of free speech and association as well as the right of privacy protected by the Fourth Amendment. The complaint also charges that the dragnet program exceeds the authority that Congress provided through the Patriot Act. [READ THAT COMPLAINT HERE]

image007Someone else who might also need the ACLU’s representation these days is The Blower’s New Cyber-Spy Columnist Edward Snowden, who claims he’s not really hiding, and warns, “The majority of people in developed countries spend at least some time interacting with the internet, and governments are abusing that necessity in secret to extend their powers beyond what is necessary and appropriate.” Watch out for those drones, Eddie!

  • HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says Miranda rights were established on this date in 1966. Maybe Obama and his Attorney General are just exercising theirs these days, not that all those Dumb Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span Free-Stuff Grabbing Obama Supporters are really paying attention.
  • THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY chose Eric Holder’s “Let’s deal with reality. The reality is that we will be reading Miranda rights to the corpse of Osama bin Laden. He will never appear in an American courtroom.”
  • LOCAL APPEALS COURT DENIES VOTERS: Does Mercenary COAST Attorney Chris Finney have egg on his face this morning or what, especially after that three-judge appeals court reversed his hard-fought lower court decision halting the city’s parking plan? Our Family Friendly Fascist told The Fishwrap: “Do you really want to do this five months before an election? I wouldn’t think so. But clowncil’s so arrogant they probably will.” Remember, it was those six Clowncil Members (Qualls, Young, “Not So” Cleanlivin’, Thomas, Simpson and Squealback – and this was the one where Squealer was for it before it was against it) who took away the right of the people to have the right to vote. Hey, Finney, you aren’t really afraid to take your case to the Ohio Supreme Court, are you?
  • image010IN A RELATED ITEM: after Alex T. tried to get Disgraced DemocRAT Cincinnati Clowncilwoman Laure “Not So” Cleanlivin in trouble by leaking copies of her monthly Procurement card reports to The Fishwrap, and our former Channel 9 “Substantially True” News Slut for Obama left word on Alex’s voice mail asking why the RINO Party Boss was circulating all that crap about her, at least one Republican thinks Laure is not such a bad person, as he pats her behind, as this photograph surely demonstrates.
  • image012CH SNITCH AT 1000 MAIN STREET says just wait till you see the plea deal Whistleblower Favorite Felon Mickey Esposito and his felonious family signed after Mickey got caught stealing drugs from the Hamilton County Sheriff’s Property Room where he worked. Mickey probably won’t get off Scot free like he did 22 years ago with his Top Ten Excuses after the former Hamilton County Deputy Auditor had been indicted on 220 counts of dereliction of duty and false listing of property values. Our Wild-and-Crazy Judge Steve Martin is probably not the jurist Mickey would have picked to be handing down his sentence.
  • JUST WONDERING IN CLEVES asks if there is any truth to the rumor that the fourteen-star Chief is already looking to change the uniforms of the cops in Detroit.
  • IN ANDERSON: The Anderson Area Chamber of Commerce (including Mt. Washington, Newtown, and West Clermont) held its golf outing yesterday at Legendary Run Golf Course. Disgraced Anderson Township Trustee Kevin “Spanky” O’Brien was not in attendance this year. The rumored reason was that no one wanted O’Brien to play in their foursome. So to keep the situation from becoming a sticky mess, O’Brien apparently offered to play with himself. Chamber Director Eric Miller said that would offend the female members playing in the event. No one really knows if O’Brien stayed behind to polish his putter, but everyone was glad he ejaculated himself from the event.
  • image014MAYORAL MADNESS: Last week there was some confusion when Loony Libertarian Mayoral Candidate Jim Berns handed out Free Marijuana Plants that some people (including The Fishwrap) said looked like “Tomato Plants.” Berns says, “I hope they don’t have the same problem with these tomato plants I handed out Wednesday afternoon in Northside at the end of the Ludlow viaduct from 5 till 5:30 PM.”
  • DEMOCRAT VOTER FRAUD UPDATE: Disingenuous DemocRAT Southwest Ohio State Reptiles and Senators (Eric Kearney, Nina Turner, Tracy Maxwell Heard, Kathleen Clyde, Connie “The Pillager,” Charleta Tavares, Heather Bishoff, Kevin Boyce, Denise Driehaus, Stevecia Reece, and “Dale for Sale” Mallory) joined Cincinnati Mayoral Candidate Foxy Roxy Qualls and the League of Women Vipers in begging GOP Ohio Secretary of State Jon Husted and Hamilton County Prosecutor “JayWalking Joe” Deters not to prosecute those poor misunderstood 39 Dishonest DemocRAT Vote Frauders who got caught trying to vote for Obama at least twice.
  • image016NO LAWSUIT FILED YET: Our Compassionate Conservative says 19-year-old Otis Andrews, of Norwood, went missing as he tried to swim across a swollen Little Miami in Mariemont. His mama is probably lining up “The Sleeze BULLDOG” lawyer to sue Mairemont ’cause they didn’t put signs up that God and all that rain was making the river run fast the river was running fast, and the City of Norwood will be sued ’cause they didn’t teach her son to swim.
  • IN CLERMONT COUNTY: Our Clermont County Snitch (probably not “Mean Jean” Schmidt’s Eviler Twin Sister Jennifer Black) says New Clermont County Communications Director Annette Meagher may need to start preparing for news to break involving the most recent scandal to rock Batavia.
  • image018SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST BORN SUCK-UPS: Everything they say or do is announced proudly to the world: “Look at me, I am sucking up as fast as I can.” They suck-up to the lobbyists, they suck-up to DemocRATS, they suck up to the unions and they especially suck-up to their constituents. State Rep-tile John Becker is one such suck-up. All day he has been announcing that he is attending meetings on Common Core to curry favor with his anti-Common Core constituents. Not that he has lifted one finger to stop Common Core. Just that the world will know that he attends meetings about Common Core.

Thankfully we have intrepid Armstrong Rhemus of Newtownsville to cut Becker down to size and put him in his place as a do-nothing legislator riding the bench and collecting a paycheck. During Becker’s boasting that he is attending a Common Core meeting, Armstrong states: Channel 12 is reporting that Michigan legislators have ordered their attorney General to investigate why gas prices have gone up so much in such a short period of time for legitimate reason. Why haven’t you guys thought of this in Ohio?

Armstrong is about accountability and cutting to the chase on issues and not about boasting or grandstanding. Thank goodness for Whistleblower readers like Armstrong.

  • image019BLUEGRASS BANISHMENTS: Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo remembers two years ago this week when The Blower published Award-Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception’s latest work of art and everybody in Northern Kentucky was stunned that the Bluegrass Bar Association had actually recommended disbarring Greedy Hearse-Chasing, Disgraced DemocRAT, Clinton-loving, Fen-Phen Scandal Plagued, Not-yet-Indicted Trial Attorney $tan Che$ley at their scheduled hearing at the Hyatt Regency in Lexington on Tuesday. Not only that, the bar association affirmed the trial commissioner’s recommendation that $tan return $7.6 million of the $20 million he was paid in fees from a Boondoggle County settlement for people sickened by the diet drug fen-phen. Even more remarkable was the fact that the bar association issued its ruling an hour after the arguments at the hearing concluded. Do you suppose the complex lengthy disbarment order had already been typed up and the bar association just waited the hour for the sake of appearances, and also to eat a little lunch?

Not since Pete Rose was banned from baseball has the tri-state been so humiliated. Did that mean $tan’s name would get taken off all those swimming pools in Cincinnati? At least the City never got around to naming a street after him. Would he now have to return all those Republican elected officials’ souls he’s bought and paid for? And what about Hamilton County Prosecutor “Jaywalking Joe” Deters’ part-time job at Cincinnati Legal? Who would get the big office now?

  • patrioticTOMORROW IS FLAG DAY and Fox news says HGTV viewers are expressing outrage after the network suggested they use American flags as table cloths for Fourth of July celebrations, calling offensive, un-American and an insult to the American military.

“Using an American flag as a table cloth dishonors all Americans who love Old Glory – especially those who gave their lives defending it,” one viewer wrote. “No one dies for a table cloth.”

  • FINALLY AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane why The Blower was all over Mercenary COAST Attorney Chris Finney after that three-judge appeals court reversed his hard-fought lower court’s decision halting the city’s parking plan. “Finney wound up with egg all over his face for the same reason you won’t see Confederate flags flying in Florence on Flag Day tomorrow,” Kane explained, “because they lost!”

Some of Today’s Political Cartoons

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Today’s Whistleblower is brought to you by a generous “in-kind” donation during our June fund-raising drive by the We Jest Ain’t Whistlin’ Dixie Flag Store in Florence, where the Great War of the Confederacy is relived every day of the year.


FLAG ETIQUETTE HOT LINE

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Some patriotic items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally patriotic subscribers.


Whistleblower Link of the Day

“Berlin Wall” Speech – President Reagan’s Address at the Brandenburg Gate (June 12, 1987)

image020Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.


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