One of the best parts about publishing The Whistleblower Newswire is checking our e-mail first thing each morning to see some of those politically insightful items we’ve received from our equally politically insightful subscribers. Our readers’ comments are extremely helpful for our analysis and interpretation of today’s important top stories.
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Isn’t This The Best Gay Pride Week Ever?
Wednesday was Gay Day in Washington and the Supreme Court of these United States finally agreed with Rob “Fighting for Fancy Boys” Portman that same sex-marriage was really OK even if your son isn’t gay. SCOTUS ruled the Defense of Marriage Act was unconstitutional, striking down the denial of federal benefits to same sex-couples in states where same-sex marriage is recognized (Connecticut, Delaware, Iowa, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Minnesota, New Hampshire, New York, Rhode Island, Vermont, Washington, and California —as well as the District of Columbia and five Native American tribes), and dismissed the appeal calling for the reinstatement of California’s Proposition 8 banning gay marriage so that same-sex marriage will now be legal in that state. Our First Gay President Obama called the California plaintiffs “Fabulous” and immediately began fund-raising off the Supreme Court’s DOMA and Prop 8 rulings, and The Onion began advertising “Marriage is Totally Gay” T-Shirts. No wonder a new Fox Poll says 82% of Americans say our Founding Fathers would disapprove of how things are going in Washington today. Do elections have consequences or what?
Now every Liberal media outlet in America can’t stop celebrating Sodomy Rites, but many people didn’t realize how long The Blower has been supporting Gay Issues with its fair-and-balanced news coverage. Obviously they didn’t remember our Annual Gay-Pride Issue in Edition #55 (when The Whistleblower used to be printed and delivered all over town), which came out twenty three years ago on June 18, 1991. The Blower has always been ahead of its time.
- Our Really Big Story was all about Sickness in the Health Department, when Cincinnati Clown-cilman Jim Cissell (now Hamilton County Probate Court Judge Jim Cissell) was accused of political incorrectness by a gang of 25 outraged homosexuals who had gathered outside the Board of Health with signs that said “Cissell Sucks!”
- The Whistleblower even gave some much-needed positive publicity to the City’s vile-and-disgusting REACH Program.
- Our Top Ten List was the political correct pickup lines you might hear at that Saturday’s Gay Bashing Rally on Fountain Square.
- And that event was even sponsored by the Blue Chip Young Republicans.
- Meanwhile in “Real Facts,” Kindly Old Tom Luken, who had just been named to take over the Hamilton County Demo-Labor Party, said the Hags and Fags could pack their bag
- At the same time The Whistleblower published big ads for Homorama, Camp Crossdresser, and Gayhaven of Ft. Thomas (Northern Kentucky’s finest homosexual retirement home).
In those days our two Whistleblower Alternate Life-styles Contributors Ben Dover and Phil McKrevis were not yet homosexual, but thankfully they were willing to learn. Today our Pair of Perverts is unavailable, since they’re probably engaged in an orgy to celebrate their new found freedoms somewhere at Cincinnati City Hall.- We also haven’t heard from Phil Burr-ass and Senile Si expressing their outrage at the Supreme Court rulings by scheduling a gay porn “At the Dirty Gay Movies” screening marathon.
- Today, noted heterosexual political philanderers say, ‘Why shouldn’t gay people be allowed to be just as miserable as all married people?'”
- Finally, at yesterday’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Charles Foster Kane how you could tell if a guy was gay these days, and our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher explained, “It’s just like Cincinnati Clown-cilgay Chris Squealback always says, when you kiss him, you can see if he giggles.”
REMEMBER: If you can’t improve on the news, you shouldn’t even be reporting it.
Some of Today’s Political Cartoons
Following up on an e-mail from Carmen Sandiego in Tuesday’s Blower.
More Proud Sponsors and Avid Fans
Today’s Whistleblower is brought to you by a generous “in-kind” donation during our June fund-raising drive by Gaydar and Sappho, LLC, Specializing in Gay Divorces, now that Same-Sex Marriage is legal in some states.
GAY MARRIAGE RULING HOT LINE
e-mail your rants and reactions today
Some gay-disapproving items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally gay-disapproving subscribers.
Whistleblower Totally Gay Link of the Day
Let’s All Celebrate
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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