Saturday, June 15, 2013
And There Are Only 1,314 More Days
INSANITY UPDATE: Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus says Obama is now getting hugs from Bill Clinton for pledging U.S. “military support” to the so-called Israel-hating Syrian Rebels, who pledge their loyalty to Al-Qaeda. Obama’s snooping didn’t include mosques, so that’s why the NSA missed the Tsarnaev Brothers in Boston. The Obama economic policies guarantee a jobless recovery and the Senate’s Amnesty Bill is a custerfuck of the highest order. Thirty RINOs is the US Senate voted for Amnesty earlier this week, and you know Portman and McConnell were among them. Sarah Palin is returning to Fox News as a regular contributor. If that doesn’t drive all those Liberal Operatives on Cable TV news shows bonkers, we don’t know what will. FBI hasn’t contacted a single TEA Party Group in its criminal investigation of the IRS for illegally targeting Conservatives to help get Obama re-elected in 2012, and when Obama was introduced at the White House by third graders at an Lesbian-Gay-Bisexual-Transgender Pride Month reception at the White House on Thursday, Obama declared that the nation has reached a “turning point” regarding homosexual marriage, and none of those Dumb Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span Free-Stuff Grabbing Obama Supporters are really paying any attention as long as they keep getting their Free Stuff.
No wonder Whistleblower Psychoanalyst Adler Jung says, “Once you get used to it, insanity seems like the most normal thing in the world.”
THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says according to the National Journal Poll, 85% of Americans think the Obama Administration is spying on their communications. The Blower’s New Cyber-Spy Columnist Edward Snowden, who claims he’s still not really hiding, warns, “The NSA has built an infrastructure that allows it to intercept almost everything,” which of course includes Marcie Newbold’s thirteen new photos of her dog Nosey on Facebook.- OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER liked Jay Leno’s “We live in what’s called an open society, which of course means they open our emails, open our phone records, and open our medical records.” Meanwhile The Blower’s three new summer interns made sure we saw Conan O’Brien’s joke about the summer interns at Google making about $6,000 per month.
- SEQUESTER JESTER: John “No Left Turns in Goshen” Joseph says the Obama Family will be taking another multi-million dollar vacation this summer— this time it’s a $100 million holiday to Africa. (To see his Dad?) Yet visitors to Washington still can’t take the White House Tour, since there’s not enough money because of the Sequester. Obama’s incredible hypocrisy continues.
- IN COLUMBUS: Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus held a photo op described as an “African American Listening Session” at a black church in Cleveland Friday afternoon. Imagine how one of the brothers introduced a white guy with a name like Reince Priebus.
REP-TILE REPORT: State Rep-tile John Becker says he stepped up his assault on the liberal Columbus establishment by introducing HB 191. It corrects the definition of a machine gun. In his sponsor testimony before a House committee, he is rumored to have said, “Any fuckin moron knows that a semi-automatic firearm can never become a machine gun by simply inserting a large capacity magazine. Laws like that are why the public perceives that all politicians are fuckin idiots. HB 191 aims to correct one idiotic law.” [You can read the full story here]
And according to the Columbus Dispatch, Becker is also leading the charge to put a stop to the Common Core agenda. He was rumored to have said, “We have too many retards in society now. Common Core will only create more of them.” [You can read the story here]
COURTING DISASTER: After Chris Finney got egg on his face this because that three-judge appeals court panel (Judges Dinkelacker, Mrs. Willie Cunningham, and P-P-P-Patrick DeWhine) reversed the Mercenary COAST Attorney’s hard-fought lower court decision halting the city’s parking plan, Parking Protesters’ Attorney Curt Hartman had to file a motion for a stay of the court of appeals decision while he appeals to the Ohio Supreme Court. That stay will be heard by Judges Dinkelacker, Mrs. Willie Cunningham, and P-P-P-Patrick DeWhine, the same three judges who now have to decide whether to stay their own decision. The City, as you might expect, filed its response on Thursday.
And speaking of people with egg on their faces, somebody said our Disingenuous DemocRAT Hamilton County Auditor favorite somehow wangled himself on Fox News yesterday in order to tell fellow D-RATS to quit maligning Cincinnati in the IRS scandal.
- CH SNITCH AT 1000 MAIN STREET says the Fishwrap’s favorite Juvenile Court Judge Tracie Hunter has instructed her bailiff to enter the elevator before her and remove all other occupants so she and her bailiff could be alone on their trip to her office. If this is true, it’s almost as bad as “Judge Mr$ $tan Che$ley’s crappy dogs being deputized so they can sit in her office and have the security marshals tend to their needs.
- VIOLENCE UPDATE: Have you heard 700 WLW’s new promo? First the announcer says, “Time for an update on violence in Cincinnati,” and an automated voice says, “There have been no murders in the past hour.”
- MAYORAL MADNESS: Loony Libertarian Cincinnati Mayoral Candidate Jim Berns claimed total victory at Thursday evening totally meaningless Mayoral Candidates Forum sponsored by The Uptown Consortium, whatever the hell that is. Some of Berns’ better blasts included “John Cranley and Roxanne Qualls see the government as the solution, I see it as the problem,” “In 2008 Cincinnati City Council passed 472 Ordinances. John Cranley, who claims to be fiscally conservative, voted no only two times!,” And “Roxanne Qualls must have taken her economic training on Mars, where the Trolley Folly makes money.”
MORE BLACK-ON-BLACK VIOLENCE: Talk about kicking a guy in the ass on his way out the door, you should see Cincinnati’s Black Police Organization (The Sentinels) vote of no confidence in 14-star Police Chief Craig, who’s Departing for Detroit in Disgrace. [Read That Here]
Now let’s check out the requirements for the new Cincinnati Police Chief on line. There is NO requirement to be certified by the state OPOTA again. Will they never learn? The Blower says they must fear requiring certification as a peace officer will limit their pool of candidates. Meanwhile, ALL other major cities, and most “medium/minor” cities, require their chief to be a certified police officer. What a novel thought! When one wears a police uniform he or she is actually able to provide the service implicated by the image they project. That seems much too logical for Girly Mayor Mark Mallory’s extreme Liberal Rubber Stampers to comprehend.
- OUR COMPASSIONATE CONSERVATIVE says parents of autistic kids want to go to the head of the ride lines at Kings Island ’cause they say the kids can’t wait for a ride. They started a Face Book site to complain and put pressure on Kings Island. If your autistic kid can’t take the stimulus of waiting line how are they going to take the stimulus of the actual ride? Suck it up, parents and wait in line like the rest of the sweaty impatient parents. You want your kid to be included in everything… include waiting in line at Kings Island. The kids probably don’t care ’cause they can finish their over sized mega drinks and cotton candy, the dads can guzzle the last of their beer and the snotty nosed siblings can run like banshees and wear themselves out.
Now just to show you how The Blower really feels about children with special needs, like to share this two handkerchief video about a female Golden Labrador and a little boy with Down’s Syndrome who has likely never seen a dog up close before.
In a related item, Howard Jackson says he had seen the Chance Phelps movie, even watching the trailer he had tears in my eves again. As Marine, Howard is proud of his service, and very disappointed in the scandals that have tainted the highest level of our government.
SILLY IN THE SUBURBS: Goofball Greg Insco is actually running for Colerain Township Trustee. This single, unmarried 30-year-old human train wreck is in the race because his part-time Kiddie Camp counselor position was eliminated this summer and he claims he has to be hired back because he’s the only one who knows how to run the audio-visual equipment. He has the unconditional love and support of all the political rejects in Colerain Township like Chatty Cathy Mohr, plus a high-ranking Republican official in the Greed Township GOP. Here’s the puff piece that Kneepad Liberal and Northworst Press reporter être Jennie Key wrote about his announcement at a township meeting. In all her verklempt frenzy over his candidacy, Key forgot to actually write a slanted article on the meeting itself.- FROM THE GREAT WHITE NORTH: NoTaxJack says at the May 7 Clearcreek Township Fire Levy Election, a poll worker was accosted by a ranting raving man. The man told the poll worker they were not allowed to pass out anything at the polls and had to leave the property. When he didn’t leave, the ranting crazy man took his picture and a picture of his car. The poll worker was shaken and was afraid the crazy man was going to do something. After some more ranting and raving the man left. At this week’s Township meeting, the poll worker discovered the identity of the man who tried to run him off the property at the polling place. It was Clearcreek TWP Fire Chief Robert Kidd III. WTF is wrong with this picture? Where’s Chris Finney’s phone number?
- IN CLERMONT COUNTY: Our Clermont County Snitch (probably not Commissioner Ed Humphrey) says New Clermont County Communications Director Annette Meagher may need to start preparing for news to break involving the most recent scandal to rock Batavia.
- PC UPDATE: Conservative Curmudgeon Stu Mahlin says Master Sgt. Nathan Sommers, a member of the US Army Band, is being reprimanded for having the wrong bumper stickers on his car, serving politically incorrect food at a party, and reading books by Conservative authors. It’s probably a good thing the 25-year Army veteran didn’t admit he read The Blower too.
- HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this day in 1938, Cincinnati Red Johnny Vander Meer pitched his second consecutive no-hit, no-run game. Typical Reds Fan Farley Fairweather wonders when one of the Reds will ever pitch a complete game in 2013. And maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose Bob Veale’s “Good pitching will beat good hitting any time, and vice versa” and Dusty Baker says “What bullpen problem?”
LAST YEAR THIS WEEK IN SOUTHWESTERN OHIO, Mitt-mentum was building for Romney Wednesday night when more than 600 of Craig Lindner’s closest friends coughed up a quick $3 million be able to say they were in the same room as the 2012 GOP Presidential Candidate at the Hilton Cincinnati Netherland Plaza. Was anybody really surprised local VP Wannabe Rob “Fighting for Fund-raisers” Portman wasn’t even mentioned?
Political types in The Fishwrap’s obligatory “attendance included paragraph” at the bottom of the story were: Lt. Gov. Mary Taylor, congressional candidate “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup, and Hamilton County Commissioner Chris Monzel. But getting the money quote in the next paragraph was Corporex Chairman Bill Butler. Those Ohio Republicans don’t know beans about press relations, do they?
The Fishwrap gave three paragraphs to a small group of DemocRATS and Union Goons gathered to hold stupid signs a block away on Fountain Square. A music teacher got to give the DemocRAT Talking Points “Class Warfare” quote.
Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo remembers when former Cincinnati Mayor David Mann’s “Soup Line” to protest Ronald Reagan’s speech at the Westin got more publicity than that, but the photograph on the front page of every newspaper in America the next morning was the picture of local March of Dimes Poster Child Kristen Nicole Ellis from Hebron, Kentucky giving Nancy Reagan a rose.
FINALLY AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Charles Foster Kane how politicians planned the exploit Father’s Day on Sunday, and our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher explained, “It’ll never be as bad as last year when the Obama Campaign at the White House spam-grammed their local list with a bogus e-mail from Michelle, deceptively offering supporters the opportunity to wish Obama a Happy Father’s Day. But guess what happened when you “signed” the card? It took you to the campaign donation page. Ironically, none of the Real Republicans in the audience in the audience was surprised.
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