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Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Everywhere You Look There’s a Scandal
IT’S A SCANDALANCHE: There are so many scandals at the Obama White House these days. The failure to get to the bottom of Benghazi is a scandal. The issue of secret subpoenas of reporters is close to scandalous. The IRS targeting of conservative groups is most definitely a scandal. And most recently, the NSA’s secret data-collection efforts smell of scandal.
Only a year ago everybody was worried about security leaks “at the White House” that put American lives in danger and DemocRAT Strategist Pat Caddell even named National Security Advisor Tom Donilon as Obama’s leaker.
- SEE THAT VIDEO HERE
Now everybody’s waiting for Obama to appoint a new Scandal Czar just to keep track of all those front-page miscues. Word is he’ll supervise a team of six men with pooper-scoopers following behind Obama. Not to worry. Obama’s White House Spokes Dweeb Jay Cardboard will still get to keep his job.
- LARRY THE CABLE GUY says CNN ignored a CBS News report that, according to the State Department’s Inspector General, the department stymied investigations into allegations of sexual assault by its security employees. Coincidentally, neither NBC nor ABC touched the story either. It seems nobody was interested in a story about a State Department whistleblower who accused high-ranking staff of a massive cover-up — including keeping a lid on findings that members of then-Secretary Hillary Clinton’s security detail and the Belgian ambassador solicited prostitutes. Including minors. A chief investigator for the agency’s inspector general wrote a memo outlining eight cases that were derailed by senior officials, including one instance of interference by Clinton’s chief of staff, Cheryl Mills.
OBAMA’S PLAYBOOK: Sales of George Orwell’s “1984” are really up (7,005%) in the wake of NSA security leaks on the Amazon “Movers and Shakers List” these days. It looks like Winston Smith has another note on his desk for a news story to fix.- OUR LATE NIGHT JOKEWATCHER liked Jay Leno’s “When I was growing up, we were afraid of Big Brother watching us. Now with Obama, we actually HAVE a brother watching us.” And Jimmy Fallon said, “President Obama was visiting a middle school yesterday, and while he was there he said that every school in the U.S. should have high-speed Internet. Then it got awkward when one kid said, “Why, so you can read our emails faster?”
- BEST BARTENDER JOKE EVER: A lawyer, an Illegal Alien, a Pathological Liar, a Muslim, a Communist, and a Black Guy walk into a bar, and the bartender says, “What’ll it be, President Obama?”
- IRONIC UPDATE: Whistleblower Rogue IRS Snitch in Cincinnati Ferrell Katz says the Internal Revenue Service, under a congressional microscope for conference spending and improper scrutiny of small-government groups, has fired fewer workers for misconduct this year than at any time since 2002.
THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says 56% of Likely U.S. Voters now consider the federal government a threat to individual rights rather than a protector of those rights. That’s ONLY up 10 points from 46% in December. Obama has nothing to worry about, however, not so long as all those Dumb Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span Free-Stuff Grabbing Obama Supporters keep getting their free stuff.- THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Baltimore Sun journalist H.L. Menken’s “As democracy is perfected, the office of President represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last and the White House will be occupied by a downright moron.”
RACIAL HEALING UPDATE: According to their Mission Statement, the Ohio Black Republicans Association is to maximize the growth and participation of African Americans in the Republican Party and be an educational resource on economic, social and political issues affecting African Americans at all levels of government.- ALSO IN COLUMBUS: Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says according to Forbes magazine, Disingenuous DemocRATS continue to try to dismiss the evidence that ObamaCare will dramatically increase the cost of insurance for people who buy it on their own. But last Thursday, the Ohio Department of Insurance announced that, based on the rates submitted by insurers to date, the average individual-market health insurance premium in 2014 will come in around $420, “representing an increase of 88 percent” relative to 2013. “We have warned of these increases,” said Lt. Governess Mary Kasich Taylor in a statement. “Consumers will have fewer choices and pay much higher premiums for their health insurance starting in 2014.”
Also, Political insiders were all amazed on Tuesday when they heard that Disgraced and Depraved DemocRAT Former Attorney General Marc Dann is practicing law again. Now we’re waiting to hear that Defeated, Corrupt, Evicted, Lying, Plagiarizing, Meddling, Overblown, Bought-And-Paid-For, Tax-And-Spend, Wrinkle-Puss RINO Bitch-In-A-Ditch Mean Jean Schmidt,” is now teaching aerobics lessons again!
Whistleblower Gossip Columnist Linda Libel says she really misses writing all those stories about how the married Dann had sexual escapades going on in his office and openly entertained young women at his Columbus condo.
For more than 22 years, Whistleblower Gossip Columnist Linda Libel has been the main source of scandal hereabouts. Do you remember the June 11, 1991 Edition (when The Whistleblower used to be printed and delivered all over town)? That’s when our hearsay harpy told us the reason Jerry Springer’s talk show could never be anything but a howling success?
- VOICE MAILING HER DISPLEASURE: After Alex T. tried to get Disgraced DemocRAT Cincinnati Clowncilwoman Laure “Not So” Cleanlivin in trouble by leaking copies of her monthly Procurement card reports to The Fishwrap, our former Channel 9 “Substantially True” News Slut for Obama left word on Alex’s voice mail asking why the RINO Party Boss was circulating all that crap about her. Obviously, not every Republican thinks Laure is a bad person, as this photograph will surely demonstrate.
- SPOILED SPORTS: Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall says Tuesday, Chad Johnson told us the worst part about getting sentenced to 30 days in a Florida jail for head butting his ex-wife was when they wouldn’t let him use my Twitter account. Poor Chad bought $376,000 Lamborghini last year and was in court, in California recently, saying he had no income and couldn’t pay his child support. What did he do with the $35.5 he got from the Bungals? A fool with money is still a fool.
Not to be outdone, current Bungals cornerback Adam “Pacman” Jones got himself arrested on Monday for punching a woman in the head outside a downtown bar last week.
- VETERANS DISHONORED: According to the U.S. Air Force, due to the impact sequestration has on resources, Air Force Services is adjusting requirements for military funeral honors of retirees. [See that story here] That means they are cutting back the number of people the military will send to a funeral detail for a vet. No more uniformed pallbearers. When the government wants something from us they take it — our time, our lives, our money. When we are supposed to get something back from them, they do everything possible to avoid paying up. Uncle Sam should remember: A promise made is a debt unpaid. The Blower says, “Bury the vets with a full honor detail.”
- AN INSANE DEFENSE: Blue Ash Mayor Mark Weber’s son pleaded “Not Guilty by Reason of Insanity.” Blue Ash Bureau Chief Kenwood Cooper says he didn’t realize living with a Blue Ash City Councilman was that bad.
- IN CLERMONT COUNTY: Our Clermont County Snitch (probably not Archie Wilson) says New Clermont County Communications Director Annette Meagher may need to start preparing for news to break involving the most recent scandal to rock Batavia.
- SENIORS STILL NEED NEWSPAPERS: One of our Geezer Citizens was visiting his niece last night when he asked if he could borrow a newspaper. This is the 21st century,” she said. ‘I don’t waste money on newspapers. Here, use my iPad.” Our Geezer says, “That fly never knew what hit him.”
- MAYORAL MADNESS: Did WVXU’s Huggable Howard really report that on June 19 at the Queen City Club, there will be a Cranley fund-raising event hosted by Bob Coletti, a lawyer at Keating, Muething & Klekamp, and a former chair of the Hamilton County RINO Party’s executive committee and former county party finance chair? He’s also the son-in-law of Richard T. Farmer, the chairman of Cintas who has raised gazillions of dollars for Republican causes over the years. That seems reasonable. If Hamilton County RINO can’t find a real mayoral candidate, local fat cats would need somebody to piss away their children’s inheritance on.
Even Loony Libertarian mayoral candidate Jim Berns was disappointed at the turnout for Foxy Roxy Qualls’ “Brewery Bash” at Moerlein Brewery in Over-the-Rhine Monday evening. “I was hoping there would be hundreds of people, but only about 40 showed up and no media!” Berns said. The event was so bad people came out to talk to Berns. One of them said, “At least Berns believes in what he is doing.”
And wouldn’t it be funny if Berns announced he’d be waving at cars and giving away tomato plants on Wednesday afternoon and those plants turned out to be marijuana?
- HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says On this date in 1987, President Ronald Reagan did just fine when he challenged Soviet Leader Mikhail Gorbachev to “tear down” the Berlin Wall.
- BACK HOME AGAIN IN INDIANA: Bureau Chief Hoosier Daddy says police report that an explosion in gun sales has caused a major backlog for gun permit applications. In the month of January, applications rose to nearly six times the state’s monthly average. Firearm retailers say the increased demand is causing some customers to wait as long as six months for approval.
IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY: Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says the rest of the local news media still hasn’t really started promoting the story about NoKY’s second most infamous sex-ed teacher and ex-Bun-Gal Sarah Jones, who got more than a promise ring when she got “Facebook Engaged” to her hot boy toy lover during a trip to Florida.
Meanwhile, Lisa Wells on WLW Radio wonders if before NoKY’s second most infamous sex-ed teacher and ex-Bun-Gal Sarah Jones marries her hot boy toy lover, will Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters be giving her a shower?
- FINALLY AT YESTERDAY’S BRIBE LUNCH where a politician was trying to get some unsubstantiated rumors about his opponent in The Blower, Charles Foster Kane was asked about what the future might hold for Edward Snowden, who acknowledged leaking last week’s bombshell national security documents, now that the former NSA computer technician has been officially fired by consulting giant Booz Allen Hamilton for violations of that firm’s code of ethics and firm policy. “We’ve offered to make Snowden even more famous with his own column in The Whistleblower Newswire,” Kane explained. “His future couldn’t be brighter.”
Some of Today’s Political Cartoons
SECURITY LEAKS HOT LINE
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Some leaked items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally leaked subscribers.
WHISTLEBLOWER LINK OF THE DAY
The Problem with Socks by Barbara Bush
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