Monthly Archives: June 2013

Special “The Week That Was” E-dition

Sunday, June 30, 2013

The Blower’s Week in Review

  • image006OUR NUMBER ONE AMNESTY STORY THIS WEEK was when Disingenuous DemocRATS in the Senate voted for the Gang of Ocho’s Amnesty Bill to create 11 million more registered DemocATS. And Butler County Sheriff Richard Jones asked if he should start building a bigger jail.
  • OUR NUMBER TWO AMNESTY STORY THIS WEEK was when was when The DemocRAT-Controlled US Senate passed what the Gang of Ocho called an Immigration Reform Bill packed with kickbacks, waivers, and Stimulus Spending. Every Disingenuous DemocRAT had voted for it, but the 15 RINOs supporting the Boondoggle were chanting their new “Renew, Grow, and Win” Slogan to Re-Invent the GOP, hoping their support of letting all those illegal immigrants stay in the country would help Wetbacks vote for them next time.
  • AND OUR NUMBER THREE AMNESTY STORY THIS WEEK was when Obama called so-called Conservative Republican Senator Marco Rubio for supporting the Gang of Ocho’s Amnesty Bill to create 11 million more registered DemocATS. Do you think Obama’s phone call should’ve been a clue to Rubio that he had done the wrong thing? Moises, Julio, Alfredo, and Jose wonder if this means they’ll be getting more free stuff.

And The Blower wonders who every time Congress “reforms” something, they always make things worse ,while Sidney Cynic asks, “Can anybody name a single problem Congress has ever fixed?”

  • MONDAY in our Official “Republican Survey” E-dition, The Blower said if you ask us no questions, we’ll tell you no lies!:

image009Please forgive us for gloating this morning, but something very special just arrived in the mail, and we can’t help feeling just a little proud and patriotic. We knew it had to be official, because inside the envelope was a letter was signed by The Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus himself. No kidding!

Hurley the Historian says he felt almost as patriotic as he did earlier this month in 1979, when John Wayne died. Our Quote for Today Committee chose The Duke’s “Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway,” but the one The Blower likes best is “Life is hard; it’s harder if you’re stupid.” Because with only 1,306 more days during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, the our new best friend Reince (rhymes with “Heinz”) said we were among a select group of citizens who’d been especially chosen to take part in an official survey by a major political party.

[READ MORE HERE]

  • TUESDAY in our Special “Leaker on the Loose” E-dition, The Blower was still wondering how the Obama-Kerry-Holder Team blew this one and our “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” included:

 Last week we learned Obama Supporters at the IRS are getting $70 Million in bonuses for targeting Conservatives. —Judge Jeanine

How about when Obama’s IRS sent almost 24,000 refunds worth a combined $46 Million to “Unauthorized” Alien Workers all at the same address In Atlanta? —Whistleblower Rogue IRS Snitch Ferrell Katz

How about that letter we published from an Obama supporter? It thanked Deidre Shesgreen for her fair-and-balanced coverage of the IRS Scandal, just because Obama loving IRS agents in Cincinnati should be “commended not condemned?” —Feckless Fishwrappers

It’s really embarrassing when all those other countries that are supposed to be our friends completely ignore our warnings against aiding and abetting the NSA Leaker after we pulled his passport. —John Kerry, Obama’s Best Secretary of State Since Hillary

That’s for that big red “reset button” and your increased “flexibility after the election” to symbolize our new cooperative relationship. —Vladimir Putin

Come to think of it, where in the world is The Blower’s New Cyber-Spy Columnist Edward Snowden? —Carmen Sandiego

[READ MORE HERE]

  • WEDNESDAY in our Special “Obama’s $100 Million African Vacation” E-dition, The Blower said, “People wishing Obama would go back to Africa where he came from are getting their wish today”

image013Hurley the Historian remembers how this famous poster was part of a government PR campaign between 1941-1945 to convince Americans to cut back on their unnecessary trips, because “Needless Travel interfered with the War Effort.”

But people were more patriotic then, and the idea that the grandchildren of American over-taxed payers borrowing $100 Million from the Axis so the Roosevelt Family could take an early summer vacation would’ve never happened.

Will so borrowing money from the Chinese for Obama’s $100 Million Family Vacation to Africa this week make it the most expensive presidential trip ever?

“Not to worry,” say all those Dumb Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span Free-Stuff Grabbing Low-Information Obama Supporters, “Just keep that free stuff coming.”

And how weak does America look these days when every time Obama’s Secretary of State John Kerry warns Russia to turn over The Blower’s New Cyber-Spy Columnist Edward Snowden or face Obama’s full fury and Vladamir Putin says “Nyet?”

Now here’s a surprise: The Senate Amnesty Bill that passed a test with 15 RINOs voting for it is packed with kickbacks, waivers, and Stimulus Spending. No wonder only 28% are wishfully thinking the Feds will ever secure the border if the Amnesty Bill passes.

[READ MORE HERE]

  •  THURSDAY, in our Special “SCOTUS Totally Gay Marriage” E-dition, The Blower said, “It’s really fabulous!”

image015Wednesday was Gay Day in Washington and the Supreme Court of these United States finally agreed with Rob “Fighting for Fancy Boys” Portman that same sex-marriage was really OK even if your son isn’t gay. After this week’s ruling, Portman can now give away his son as a bride in 13 states, but not this one. SCOTUS ruled the Defense of Marriage Act was unconstitutional, striking down the denial of federal benefits to same sex-couples in states where same-sex marriage is recognized, and dismissed the appeal calling for the reinstatement of California’s Proposition 8 banning gay marriage so that same-sex marriage will now be legal in that state. Our First Gay President Obama called the California plaintiffs “Fabulous” and immediately began fund-raising off the Supreme Court’s DOMA and Prop 8 rulings, and The Onion began advertising “Marriage is Totally Gay” T-Shirts. No wonder a new Fox Poll says 82% of Americans say our Founding Fathers would disapprove of how things are going in Washington today. Do elections have consequences or what?

Now every Liberal media outlet in America can’t stop celebrating Sodomy Rites, but many people didn’t realize how long The Blower has been supporting Gay Issues with its fair-and-balanced news coverage.

image018Obviously they didn’t remember our Annual Gay-Pride Issue in Edition #55 (when The Whistleblower used to be printed and delivered all over town), which came out twenty three years ago on June 18, 1991. The Blower has always been ahead of its time.

[READ MORE HERE]

  • FRIDAY in our Special “News Hype Overload” E-dition, The Blower reported Obama was blaming Republicans for outsourcing news-hype!

image019Whistleblower Political Prognosticator Nostradamus Tadwell says we all should’ve listened to him, because with only 1,301 more days of Obama’s Second Term, today’s acute shortage of available hype will probably make it impossible for the American news media to function properly.

The crisis was caused when Our First Gay President took time out from his $100 million over-taxed payer funded early summer family vacation to call the Supreme Court’s ruling on same-sex marriage “Fabulous,” and began promoting gay marriage in Africa.

Our Quote for Today Committee chose Obama’s “I won’t force churches in America to perform gay marriages, at least not right away,” and there won’t be enough hype to cover that.

You just knew The Fishwrap would be featuring pictures of oversexed lesbians hugging on Thursday’s Front Page.

[READ MORE HERE]

  • SATURDAY in our Official “Gay Day Parade” E-dition, The Blower said, “Shout it Loud! Shout it Proud!”

image021AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about the confusion in the news media about which event to cover this weekend — the Gay Pride Parade in Downtown Cincinnati or that hillbilly Quaker State 400 Race in Northern Kentucky. Maybe they should’ve combined the two events.”

“If you think that’s confusing,” Kane explained, “think about what would happen if some of the participants showed up at the wrong event. Some drivers would be racing some really colorful cars in Kentucky and Cincinnati’s Dainty DemocRAT Mayor Mark Mallory would be there to throw out the first pitch, and in Downtown Cincinnati Tony Stewart driving the Oscar Mayer Weinermobile (scheduled to appear at the Newport Kroger superstore on Saturday) would cover the gay pride parade route in less than two seconds.”

[READ MORE HERE]

IS IT COLLECTION TIME AGAIN?

image022It must be, since your Neighborhood News Boy or Girl will be stopping by to collect $3.50 for delivery of this month’s Blower. The children retain half of this amount plus any tips you give them to reward good service.

This month we’re featuring Poor Little Mikey Brown, a portly pantload from Indian Hill, who wanted to win the Punt, Pass, and Kick Competition to please his dad, who was a real football fanatic. Poor Little Mikey dreamed of standing at mid-field during halftime, where a stadium full of fans would cheer him, and everybody else at home would see him on TV. For information about our carrier program, please call Mr. Scamwell at our circulation department.

More Obamanations

  • image025SEQUESTER JESTERS: Those Moochers in the White House are really enjoying their $100 Million over-taxed payers’ money to Africa this week. How many years of White House tours would that $100 Million pay for?
  • OUR LATE NIGHT JOKE WATCHER liked Jay Leno’s “President Obama is currently on a week-long trip to Africa, where he will promote freedom, democracy, and economic opportunity. I guess he figured it hasn’t worked here — so try it somewhere else,” David Letterman’s “It’s gay pride week here in New York City. Here’s how you can tell. The construction workers are hooting at EACH OTHER,” and Craig Ferguson’s “It is a great day, of course, for supporters of gay marriage. Congratulations to same-sex couples. You can now be as miserable as everybody else.”
  • OBAMA SCANDAL UPDATE: Obama stopped by the press cabin on Air Force One, as Air Force One made its way to South Africa, and not a single Obama Supporter in the Press asked questions about major issues concerning Americans (the scandals, the controversial Supreme Court decisions, and immigration.)
  • ROGUES FOR OBAMA: Whistleblower Rogue IRS Snitch Ferrell Katz says the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee voted 22-17 on Friday that Paid IRS Liar Lois Lerner voluntarily waived her rights by reading an opening statement during a hearing last month on the agency’s tea party targeting scandal, so now Republicans on the committee get to bring Lerner back to Congress and force her to answer their embarrassing questions.

Washington Weak in Review

  • HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1980, left-wing lunatics found a new way to hammer Conservatives when CNN began broadcasting. How far has CNN fallen? They’re even trying to re-brand themselves for younger viewers and they even brought “Crossfire,” this time with Newt Gingrich and some Obama Bimbo. But The Blower says it probably won’t be worth watch unless it turns out to be like the “Point-Counterpoint” sketch on Saturday Night Live when Dan Aykroyd would call Jane Curtin an “Ignorant Slut.
  • DOOFUS DEMOCRATS: Jimmy Carter says the Catholic Church is as bad as Islam on Women’s Rights.
  • IN CONGRESS: Overpaid Lawmakers left town for holiday without figuring out how to deal with the failed farm bill, or anything else for that matter.
  • THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says with the nation’s 237th birthday just days away, it’s good to remind ourselves that for most Americans, there’s still no place like home. 86% are proud to be an American but only 74% believe Americans should be proud of the history of the United States.
  • ALSO IN WASHINGTON: Whistleblower Supreme Court Reporter Amicus Tadwell says the Supreme Court struck down a key piece of the Voting Rights Act on Tuesday, reversing decades-old policies designed to protect minorities from discrimination. That 5-4 decision struck down a formula for determining which states and cities must get permission from the federal government before changing their voting procedures, because they have a history of racial discrimination. Predictably, Obama and Obama’s Attorney General Eric Holder made speeches, the DemocRAT National Committee used the event to raise money, and Racial Racketeers like Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson demonstrated their fake outraged on cue.
  • TEA PARTY TERRORISTS: Amazingly, Obama Supporters believe the TEA Party the biggest terrorist threat to America these days. Unfortunately, these are not just the Morons-on-the-Street you see interviewed on Jay Leno.

A TEA Party Patriot we’ll call Donna wishes somebody snapped a picture of Boehner’s face when the “Food Stamp” bill (AKA “farm bill”) went down! He just didn’t see it coming. Maybe he should start paying attention to the TEA Party again.

  • WALL STREET WEAK: Whistleblower Business Editor Merrill Forbes says panic selling on fears of an early exit of the U.S. Federal Reserve’s stimulus efforts may be over, but the stock market will probably still face wild intraday swings in coming weeks.

Liberalizing America

  • image026MEDIA MENDACITY: ABC and NBC on Thursday night and Friday morning ignored an announcement by the Internal Revenue Service inspector general that liberal organizations were not forced to endure the same invasive investigations as conservative, TEA Party groups.
  • DEMOCRAT VOTER FRAUD UPDATE: Avi Zaffini, Director of Outreach and Military Affairs for Ohio Secretary of State Jon Husted’s office, says some voters in last November’s presidential election may find themselves in trouble with the law. 135 people had their cases turned over to their local county prosecutors, with 20 cases of people voting in both Ohio and another state being sent to the Ohio Attorney General. Zaffini says Ohio is among 22 states working together to catch voter fraud with an Interstate Crosscheck Program.
  • UNION BLUES: Newsmax says Hostess is betting on a sweet comeback for Twinkies when they return to shelves next month. The company that went bankrupt after an acrimonious fight with its unionized workers last year is back up and running under new owners and a leaner structure. It says it plans to have Twinkies and other snack cakes back on shelves starting July 15.
  • OUR DEVOLVING CULTURE: If anything could demonstrate the depths of depravity to which American Culture has devolved during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, the Whistleblower’s “Link of the Day” in Friday’s E-dition might come pretty close. [WATCH IT HERE]
  • G-UN CONTROL: Liberals will be back to whining about G-UN Control as soon as they stop celebrating Same-Sex Marriage this weekend.

More Unresolved Issues

  • image028GAY NEWS UPDATE: The New Yorker’s latest cover is causing quite a splash, focusing on the Supreme Court’s gay marriage rulings this week and featuring a photo that suggests a romantic relationship between Sesame Street’s Bert and Ernie.
  • ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION: The DemocRAT Controlled Senate’s Gang of Ocho’s Immigration Bill that passed 68-32 with all DemocRAT and 14 RINO votes gives Criminal Illegals a 2 1/2 Year “Safe Harbor” so they can apply for Amnesty.
  • RACIAL HEALING UPDATE: At the opening of George Zimmerman’s murder trial, did Trayvon Martin’s father really calls a Zimmerman supporter a “Motherfucker” in Court? What a great character witness the so-called victim’s dad is going to make.
  • THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY chose Obama’s “if I had a son, he’d look just like Trayvon.”
  • BABY-KILLING UPDATE: Texas DemocRAT Wendy Davis became a new Liberal Celebrity after she wore a urinary catheter during her 11-Hour filibuster against a Pro-Life Bill to ban abortion after the 20-week pregnancy mark.
  • MURDERING MUSLIM UPDATE: “Most Wanted” ads help the FBI gain information about the whereabouts of dangerous terrorists. CAIR and its allies got the ads taken down.

[ NOW CHECK OUT MORE GRUESOME PICTURES COURTESY OF THOSE PEACEFUL MUSLIMS]

Closer to Home

  • image030IN COLUMBUS: Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders reports everybody’s talking about that new Quinnipiac University which says Ohio Republican Governor Kasich Taylor’s job approval is at an all-time high. Maybe Ohio’s improved economy (over 32,000 new jobs this month – the most of any state in the nation) might have something to do with it.

In a related story, Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says Obama’s disapproval rating hit a post-election high of 49% on Monday. Don’t we ever hear enough of these pointless popularity polls?

  • MAYORAL MADNESS: Disguised DemocRAT John Cranley held a meaningless press conference on Tuesday to urge members of council to vote against the $17.4 million needed to proceed with the Girly Mayor Mark Mallory’s Trolley Folly in the Budget and Finance Committee meeting later in the day. At Liberal DemocRAT Vice Mayor Roxanne Qualls’ meaningless press conference, Foxy Roxy told The Beav to go to his room, because she (along with Laure “Not So” Cleanlivin, Clown-cil Gay Chris Squealback, Yvette Simpson, and Wendell Young) had the five votes needed to piss away that money and a lot more too. It’s a shame Loony Libertarian Jim Berns was out of town. At least he would’ve given away a few marijuana plants.

Among those not surprised by Clowncil’s urinary decision are Republicans for Higher Taxes, who predicted on Sunday the passage of the Monday and Wednesday votes.

Also, the mayoral races in Cincinnati and New York will answering two long held questions: In New York Can a DemocRAT man win a race for mayor against a lesbian after tweeting a picture of his penis? While in Cincinnati, everyone wants to know can a DemocRAT man win a race against a lesbian without tweeting a picture of his penis?

  • LOCAL LEGAL UPDATE: That Cabal of NoKY Attorneys Still Out to Destroy Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters (Including the Lisa Wells Fan Club) continues to be amused, especially after property at Crazy Eric’s Ohio office was seized by PBJ, LLC to pay a judgment against “JayWalking Joe’s” cousin. The furniture and office equipment included desks, chairs, tables, lamps, credenzas, cabinets, computers, monitors, keyboards, telephones, wall hangings, books, cash, paper, pens, and pencils.
  • IN CLERMONT COUNTY: Whistleblower Gossip Columnist Linda Libel says many in Clermont County are wondering if there is more information about the new Clermont County Communications Director that hasn’t come out yet. Perhaps they should just ask Annette Meagher why she’s always singing “Oh give me a home where the buffalo roam” all the time.
  • IN ANDERSON: Anderson Trustee Candidate Josh Gerth says the Anderson Township Republican Club including Newtown and Mt. Washington is looking for volunteers to walk the entire parade route through Anderson, Newtown, and Mt. Washington during the Fourth of July Parade. And just think, when you’re done, Ohio’s Second District Podiatrist Congressman “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup can check out your smelly feet.

Meanwhile, Angry Andrew at the Anderson TEA Party says everybody should contact “Bronze Star” at (513) 474-7777 today or Monday and convey the message that the U.S. House can NOT advance any Immigration Bill at this time; the Senate Bill should be Dead On Arrival in the House. “Bronze Star” is also inviting his all of constituents in Adams County to attend his hastily-put-together Town Hall meeting in Reading on Tuesday, July 2, at 10:00 AM, when everybody is certain to be at work.

ANOTHER TOWNSHIP HEARD FROM: Way back in the bowels of The Fishwrap the other day was a small article telling any reader that got that far through the rag that the Forest Green garbage company has been purchased by the big R company of Colerain. Forrest Green has a dump just outside of Colerain Township in Crosby Township. Yes, folks, there really is a Crosby Township, even though no one ever heard about it. Now Crosby can enjoy all the perks of a hometown stinkin’ ass dump. It’s right next to a failed housing development so now any hopes of resurrecting that will be over. Some people get all the luck.

PERV WATCH IN MARIEMONT: Be careful who you sit next to at the computers in the Mariemont Library! We saw a middle aged men searching “group sex” at the end computer next to girl watching a music video. He would click from his search screen to Windows screen. The computers are 12 feet from the library desk but a display of new books shields the view from the librarians. Don’t bother calling the cops, because the ACLU says “Perverts are People too.”

SPOILED SPORTS: Typical Reds Rooter Farley Fairweather says the way the current road trip is going for Dusty’s Boys, he doesn’t care if those overpaid losers ever come back.

On the South Shore

  • image031BLUEGRASS BACKJOBS: Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says Northern Kentucky was the center of the auto racing universe this weekend, when the Crazy Ass Cracker 400 was run at Kentucky Speedway. But it’s a good thing the NASCAR guys didn’t try to combine that even with the Gay Pride Event across on the North Shore.

Meanwhile, porn investigators at our Good Friend Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E Rob Sanders’ office were keeping busy watching The Naked News.

More Political Insight This Week

  • image034FECKLESS FISHWRAPPERS: If you want to see Political Correctness running amok in the Tri-State, check out front page of Saturday’s Fishwrap on Gay Pride Day.
  • GOING GALT: The difference between most Republicans and most DemocRATS: Republicans sign their checks on the front, DemocRATS sign their checks on the back.
  • LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” #217 says ask them to guess who said this: “The soundest way to raise revenues in the long run is to cut taxes now. The purpose of cutting taxes now is… to achieve the more prosperous, expanding economy which can bring a budget surplus.” Ronald Reagan? One of the Bushes? F. A. Hayek? Arthur Laffer? No, it was JFK.
  • OBAMACARE UPDATE: One year after the Supreme Court upheld ObamaCare, Gallup says 43% of uninsured Americans are unaware they will be hit with a fine unless they buy Health Insurance. Do you think any of those Dumb Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span Free-Stuff Grabbing Low-Information Obama Supporters will wake up once they start getting whacked with fines by the IRS?
  • POLITICS UNUSUAL: Down at Hamilton County RINO Party Headquarters, Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop Gop tweeted for Demagogic DemocRAT Ohio Senate Minority Leader Eric Kearney to apologize for calling Republicans’ proposed $2.6 billion tax cut “un-American.”

Meanwhile, that big summertime bash the HCRP had scheduled for tonight has been postponed at the last minute by the disorganizers. Things like this would never have happened if Clean Gene Ruehlman were still alive.

  • image035NOW HERE’S THE LATEST FROM BUNKY TADWELL, THE BARD OF CLEVES: This week, with Summer still sweltering and we have another timely poem from Bunky Tadwell, the Bard of Cleves.

Summer Sports
Summer is the time for sports
So search for a lovely doll
Who is yearning for some action
And willing to play ball.

  • image037FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA: Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about all those problems American is facing these days. “Unfortunately,” Kane explained, “the problems we face today exist because the people who work for a living are outnumbered by those who vote for a living.”
  • image039AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”:

Monday we’ll be our Anit-Social E-dition and we’ll still be counting down the 1,299 days until Obama’s “historic” Third Term begins.

Tuesday is “I Forgot Day,” but our “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” will try to remember.

Wednesday is Disobedience Day, encouraging civil or social disobedience as an act of protest, which is just like any other day in a house with a teenager living in it.

Thursday is Independence Day, and Mayor Chris Moriconi is really proud everybody in America gets a day off to honor his country.

The first line of next Friday’s limerick is: “When we celebrate the Fourth of July.” Is that a coincidence or what!

And Saturday is National Fried Chicken Day is day to enjoy crisp and tasty, finger licking good fried chicken. And we don’t care if it does make us sound slightly racist, Popeye’s do make some fine chicken.

Sunday Comix by Dixon Diaz

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WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE

e-mail your revolutionary recaps today

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Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.

Link of the Day

Ray Stevens – Come to the USA

image045Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.

Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here

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