Sunday, April 28, 2013
The Blower’s Week in Review
OUR NUMBER ONE STORY THIS WEEK was when Whistleblower Presidential Historian Dorian Grady said with the opening of his presidential library, former President George W. Bush would be stepping back into the spotlight on this week, along with Obama and former U.S. presidents Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton, and George H.W. Bush. The dedication was the first meeting of the five living presidents since January 2009. First Ladies Rosalyn, Laura, Hillary, Michelle, and Barbara Bush were also expected to attend.- OUR NUMBER TWO STORY THIS WEEK was when Obama used the dedication of the Bush Library in Texas to push for push Amnesty for future DemocRAT voters, and Obama’s Supporters in the Press used the occasion to revert to their customary Bush bashing.
- AND OUR NUMBER THREE STORY THIS WEEK was when the Wall Street Journal reported Obama had been elected president in 2008 because he was not George W. Bush. In fact, he was elected because he was the furthest thing possible from Mr. Bush. On some level he knew this, which is why every time he got in trouble he’d say Bush’s name. It’s all his fault, you have no idea the mess I inherited. As long as Mr. Bush’s memory was hovering like Boo Radley in the shadows, Mr. Obama would be OK. But this week something changed. George W. Bush is back, for the unveiling of his presidential library. His numbers are dramatically up. You know why? Because he’s the furthest thing from Barack Obama. Obama fatigue has opened the way to Bush affection.
- MONDAY in our Annual “Ecological Warning” E-dition, The Blower said, “Politicians are using all the mud” and wished everybody a Happy Earth Day.
Monday was another great day for our Left-Wing Lunatics and Obama Supporters in the Press— because that’s when they’ll all got to whine, complain, and continue to blame George Bush, Congressman Paul Ryan, Tea Party Patriots, Donald Trump, the Whistleblower-Newswire, and the rest of those mean-spirited Republicans for everything on Earth, while at the same time, not coming up with solutions for any of the problems (real or imaginary) they profess to perceive.
Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose this profound pronouncement from John Davis, editor of the “Earth First! Journal: “Human beings, as a species, have no more value than slugs.”
On the other hand, our good friend Bobby Leach likes the Kentucky Coal Miners Association’s new slogan for Earth Day: “Earth first, we’ll strip mine the rest of the planets later.”
Hurley the Historian says Earth Day was invented by Deranged DemocRAT US Senator Gaylord Nelson from Washington and was held on April 22, 1970 as something the unwashed draft dodgers in college could do with their time when they weren’t busy protest the Vietnam War.
[READ MORE HERE]
- TUESDAY in our Special “Terrorist Interrogation” E-dition, The Blower said, Let the Waterboarding Begin!” and our “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” included:
After Obama’s big defeat on gun control and the aftermath of the Boston Bombings, Obama’s weakness is really starting to show. —All Those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span Voters Who Are Finally Getting a Taste of the Real World
Does declaring the War of Terror over that lulled America into a sense of false confidence, not mentioning Radical Islam in his post-arrest speech about that Muslim Terrorist, and telling people not to form opinions about those Murdering Muslims in Boston until the White House decides if they were enemy combatants, prove Obama has his head in the sand on terror or what! —Relatives of Those Innocent Murdered Marathon Watchers
The religion of Murdering Muslims like Tamerlan and Dzhokhar Tsarnaev “cannot be an issue.” —Jihadists for Peace, Affiliated with the Muslim Brotherhood
Don’t forget: America is partly to blame for “Islamic Rage” behind the Boston Terror Attack. —Tom Brokaw, NBC News
Let’s just compare the victims of the Boston terror attack to the Islamists killed by Israel during their raid on the Gaza Flotilla.—Obama’s Useless French-Looking Secretary of State John Kerry
[READ MORE HERE]
- WEDNESDAY in our Special “Phony Job Titles” E-dition, The Blower asked, “What’s so bad about being a secretary anyway?”
Oh, we’re not calling it “Secretary’s Day” anymore. We’re supposed to say “Administrative Professionals Day,” so you little ladies can feel better about your hum drum jobs. Now would you mind getting us a cup of coffee?
Hurley the Historian says this made-up holiday was created in 1952 by a Young and Rubicam advertising executive who found a way to give his secretary something that didn’t cost money.
No wonder our Quote for Today Committee chose Barry Goldwater’s “I think any man in business would be foolish to fool around with his secretary. If it’s somebody else’s secretary, that’s fine!” Was Barry a Compassionate Conservatism or what!
Male Chauvinist Employers of America explain why they changed the name of today’s “Secretary’s Day” holiday to “Administrative Professionals Day.” It was cheaper than giving the gals a raise.
The Unemployment Office says tomorrow on “Take Your Daughter to Work Day during the Obama Recession,” you can always bring her here.
[READ MORE HERE]
- THURSDAY, in our Annual “Take Your Daughter to Work Day” E-dition, The Blower asked, “But what if your mom’s a hooker?”
At yesterday’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane why “Take Your Daughter to Work Day” is always the day after “Secretary’s Day.” “Who do you think gets to watch the kids when the boss brings them to work?” Kane explained.
Our Good Friend Bobby Leach remembers when he brought his daughter back home after “Take Your Daughter to Work Day.” The little girl said, “Daddy, why do you call your assistant a doll?” Feeling his wife’s gaze upon him, Bobby said, “Well, honey, it’s a term of affection. She’s very hard-working, and Daddy appreciates her efficiency.” “Oh,” said Bobby’s little girl, “I thought it was because she closed her eyes and said ‘mama’ every time you laid her across your desk.”
Our Quote for Today Committee chose Wendy Spero’s “My mom’s a sex therapist. On Take Your Daughter to Work Day, I hooked up with two guys.”
Our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher says, “I didn’t need Secretary’s Day to remind him about all that Rose Budd has done for me over the years. It hasn’t always been easy. Sometimes it’s even been rough sledding. And you can be assured I will be speaking her praises until by dying breath.”
[READ MORE HERE]
- FRIDAY in our Special “Back-Room Politics” E-dition, The Blower said, “There was a whole lot of arm-twisting going on!”
Friday was a pretty big day for Ohio Republicans because members of the State Central Committee were scheduled to choose between Tax Scofflaw Matt Borges and Tea Party Rabble-rouser Tom Zawistowski to be their new Party Boss. That’s why on Friday we brought you Matt Borges’ Top Ten Excuses for not mentioning anything about still owing $28,799 in federal taxes and $98,397 to the state:
10. I forgot
9. The dog ate it
8. She told me she loved me
7. I did it to help the homeless
6. The Devil made me do it
5. I just wanted to be loved–is there anything wrong with that?
4. I hate taxes
3. I was framed
2. This whole thing is just one big terrible mistake
…and the Number One Reason RINO Party Boss Candidate Matt Borges forgot to mention anything about still owing $28,799 in federal taxes and $98,397 to the state was, Current Ohio RINO Party Boss Boob Bennett said those idiot members on the Central Committee would never find out.
NOTE: As Republicans for Higher Taxes continue celebrating Matt Borges Week, they posted an anonymous email they received from an insider claiming that Ohio Republican Party Chairman Boob Bennett is considering how to rig the vote for Borges. The scheme would involve an unprecedented allowance of “proxy voting,” so that State Central Committee members who don’t want to be on record publicly supporting a convicted criminal with numerous tax liens can vote for Borges in secret. A better alternative, as discovered by every Republican in Ohio with common sense, is to elect a State Chairman who pays his taxes and hasn’t been convicted of abusing his office during a bribery investigation.
[READ MORE HERE]
- SATURDAY in our Special “All in the Family” E-dition, The Blower said, “Is this going to be a joyous family occasion or what?”
Did you see where our Feckless Fishwrappers did their fair-and-balanced best to embarrass John Boehner when they stole a big story from the National Enquirer about the Republican House Speaker’s daughter marrying a Jamaican pothead construction worker? They even filched this video, too.
Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose “If marriage is grand, divorce is fifty grand.”
[READ MORE HERE]
Seediest Kids of All
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SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE
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More Politics Unusual
IT’S BEEN ANOTHER TOUGH WEEK FOR OBAMA: If only he’d admit Muslim Jihad is the cause of Terrorism, and his Justice Department wouldn’t stop the FBI from interrogating Murdering Muslim bombers just as they’re beginning to open up about their plans to bomb Times Square. Obama’s as blind to the terror link in Boston as he was in Benghazi, and all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span voters who re-elected Obama are just now getting a taste of what the rest of Obama’s second term have in store.- THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose H.L. Menken’s “As democracy is perfected, the office of President represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last and the White House will be occupied by a downright moron.”
- MEDIA MENDACITY: Saturday’s White House Correspondents Dinner was another grotesque display of “journalists” yukking it up and slapping the backs of those in power whom they are supposed to hold accountable. Just as grotesque was watching the same gilded media, who protect Obama from his failed economy, celebrate their own corrupt one-percent selves as the poverty they willfully ignore explodes all around them.
- CROOKS IN CONGRESS: GrasstopsUSA says first came the Reports that Harry Reid, John Boehner, Bitch McConnell, and Steny Hoyer were meeting behind closed doors and working on a plan to EXEMPT THEMSELVES from key provisions of ObamaCare. Then, once the cat was out of the bag, we started hearing the weasel-like denials. Almost immediately, John Boehner’s office started pointing fingers at Harry Reid. Hours later, Reid’s office scrambled and audaciously denied that Congress would ever consider such a thing. Give us a break. Whatever the fib of the day may be, one thing is now abundantly clear: every single politician in Washington knows that ObamaCare is a train wreck waiting to happen, and now that the man behind the curtain is exposed, we must seize this opportunity and demand that they defund it and repeal it… once and for all.
- DEMOCRAT VOTER FRAUD: Fox News reports a jury in South Bend, Indiana has found that fraud put President Obama and Hillary Clinton on the presidential primary ballot in Indiana in the 2008 election. Two DemocRAT political operatives were convicted Thursday night in the illegal scheme after only three hours of deliberations. They were found guilty on all counts.
- IRONIC UPDATE: AP reports two government officials tell The Associated Press that U.S. intelligence agencies added the Boston bombing suspects’ mother to a federal terrorism database about 18 months before the attack.
- CAIR CARES: Terrorist Apologists at the Council on American-Islamic decried the wave of inflammatory anti-Muslim rhetoric following the Boston Marathon bombings and the revelation that the suspects in the case are Muslim.
- OVER-TAXED PAYER SUPPORTED TERRORISTS: Agencies are still refusing to release whether Tamerlan was collecting unemployment or Dhzokhar was receiving financial assistance for college (since they wouldn’t comment, three guesses on what the answer to that is). Apparently, Dzhokhar was also making a bit on the side peddling marijuana, according to sources.
- OUR LATE NIGHT JOKEWATCHER: So far, there are no reports of late night TV comics making jokes about John Boehner’s son-in-law, but as soon as they begin, you can be sure we’ll be bringing them to you. Meanwhile, Our Good Friend Bobby Leach says, “And you thought Boehner’s Daughter Lindsay would never find a guy as dark as her dad.
- UNION BLUES: ABC News reports the bankrupt assets of Hostess Brands, Inc., the company responsible for Twinkies, Ho Ho’s, Sno Balls and Ding Dongs, are being put back to work by a buyout firm. What’s not being put back to work are the former Hostess unionized employees.
- TEA PARTY PRINCIPLES: The Congressional Tea Party Caucus re-launched Thursday evening with its first meeting of the 113th Congress. There are three premises behind the Tea Party Caucus: One is that we’re taxed enough. Two is that we spend less than we take in. And third and most importantly is that we follow the Constitution.
- THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says while the victims of the Boston Marathon bombings and its aftermath will never forget, Americans in general appear to be recognizing that terrorism is part of the new normal. National security remains low on the list of voter concerns still topped by the economy.
- HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says a lot happened on this date in history: In 1789, Fletcher Christian led the Mutiny on the Bounty. In 1945 Benito Mussolini was executed by a mob and strung upside down from a lamp post. In 1967, boxing champion Muhammad Ali refused to be inducted into the U.S. Army and was immediately stripped of his heavyweight title. In 1970, Nixon approved the Cambodian incursion. Hurley says he wasn’t sure which event to celebrate today but then he decided to enjoy Italian tonight.
- SHAMELESS SOLICITING: So far The Blower hasn’t seen any reports about politicians using the Boston Bombing to raise campaign funds for themselves, but there have been many examples of people using the atrocity to further their own political agendas, as usual.
More Unresolved Issues
G-UNCONTROL: CNS News: There have been 441 shootings and 100 homicides in Obama’s hometown so far this year, according to a blog that tracks crime in Chicago. That works out to 3.8 shootings per day or approximately one shooting every 6.3 hours. It’s almost like anti-gun laws do nothing to curb criminals from using guns to commit crimes.- ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION: During a April 24 speech to the Mexican American Legal Defense and Educational Fund, Obama’s Attorney General Eric Holder said that creating a “pathway to earned citizenship” was a “civil right” and Conservative Columnist Ann Coulter says the problem isn’t just illegal immigration, it’s legal immigration, too.
- RACIAL HEALING: Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP wrote a nasty letter to Tim Burka, accusing the Demo-Labor Party Boss of playing the race card by continuing to endorse incompetent black DemocRAT women like Juvenile Court Judge Tracie Hunter, attorney Janaya Trotter who last year unsuccessfully challenged Republican Prosecutor “JayWalking Joe” Deters, and new Cincinnati City Councilwoman Pamula Thomas?
- GAY NEWS UPDATE: Cincinnati Gay Party Clown-cilman Chris Squealback is beginning to give “The Queen City” a bad name, especially after he failed to get Phil Burr-Ass’s best friend Anthony Munoz removed as Xavier University’s commencement speaker. The Conservative Community Leader didn’t have Squealer’s “Gay Squeal of Approval.”
- BABY-KILLING 101: During Obama’s 12 Minute Speech To Planned Parenthood, only seven babies were aborted in their clinics.
- ISLAMOPHOBIA EXPLAINED: Have you ever been to a Muslim hospital, heard a Muslim orchestra, seen a Muslim band march in a parade, witnessed a Muslim charity, shaken hands with a Muslim Girl Scout, seen a Muslim Candy Striper, or seen a Muslim do anything that contributes positively to the American way of life?
Closer to Home
IN COLUMBUS: The Columbus Dispatch says forty-nine more polls like this and Ohio Senator Rob “Fighting for Same Sex Marriage” Portman may be on his way to the 2016 Republican presidential nomination. Ohio’s junior senator got 1% in a new Granite State Poll, an improvement on the shutout he pitched in the same poll in mid-February.
Are Ohio Republicans trying to outdo each other trying to embarrass the Party these days? First Portman comes out in favor of same-sex marriage to attract the gay vote. Then Boehner announces his daughter will be marrying a weed-smoking Rastafarian. The Whistleblower really misses “Mean Jean” Schmidt. That’s why “TaxKiller Tom” Brinkman says, “Somebody has to take up than slack, now that we don’t have our ‘Bitch-in-a-Ditch’ to kick around anymore.”
- CALLING ALL TROLLEY BASHERS: The Budget & Finance Committee has scheduled a PUBLIC HEARING for Monday, April 29, 2013 at 6:00 P.M., in Council Chambers, Room 300, City Hall, 801 Plum St., Cincinnati, OH 45202, to receive an update from the city administration regarding the “Street Car.”
- THE CINCINNATI MESS (You’ll only read about in The Blower): In the Cincinnati’s Mayoral Race, both Foxy Roxy Qualls and Disguised DemocRAT John Cranley will not be showing up for that early May debate sponsored by EmpowerU, whatever the hell that is. Does that mean Loony Libertarian Jim Berns will be debating two empty chairs?
- FOOLS IN SCHOOLS: Failed CPS English Language Arts Manager, Ms. Andrea, announced to district English teachers that the weeklong Summer Institute training will be UNPAID for teachers but paid for school administrators. Teachers are expected to report for training but will not be paid. How can a failed CPS teacher ever reach that prestigious $100,000 club like the rest of CPS administrators? When the same question was asked of Failed CFT president, Julie SellYourSoul, she responded, “yall ain’t eva go get a raise so just remain hopeful!”
- IN ANDERSON: Following Friday’s losing vote for Ohio RINO Party Boss, Angry Anderson Tea Party Patriots said, “In Ohio’s political ‘house,’ as we lift the rug at every corner, we see how rotten is the underlying the foundation on which we stand and on which we have been relying. That’s OK, we still have the blueprints, we are do-it-yourself folks and we are committed to re-building Ohio based on true foundational principles.”
- ANGRY ANDERSONIANS say it’s only been a year since passing an operating tax levy (May 2012), and many people are wondering why the so-called anti-taxers at COAST (located only two blocks away) haven’t even raised the possibility of illegal campaigning to get people to the polls to pass their Stealth Tax Hike on May 7.
- FLYING PIG SECURITY: The Blower asked our good friend Tom Streicher about the “extraordinary” steps Organizers of Cincinnati’s Flying Pig Marathon might be taking to strengthen their security plans for this Sunday in the aftermath of the Boston Marathon Massacre.
Our Former Cincinnati Police Chief explained: “Acts of terror are designed to dissuade the general population from doing that which they would normally would be inclined to do thus disrupting the comfort level of the majority of a population. If permitted to be successful, this action can have a devastating effect on the economy of a society and be immensely disruptive for a sustained period of time.
“The best way the average citizen can defeat this aspect of a terrorist threat is to act with defiance by not succumbing to their intended result and enjoying our freedom to attend events such as the Flying Pig Marathon here in Cincinnati. Such action expresses confidence in our democratic way of life, our freedom, and our emergency service workers who are diligently addressing all concerns associated with such events. ENJOY YOUR FREEDOM AMERICA!!!”
More Political Insight Today
FECKLESS FISHWRAPPERS: Down at the Fishwrap’s Idiotorial Board, they’re still celebrating how they forced $tan Che$ley’s to retire from practicing law in Ohio, but Hamilton County Prosecutor “JayWalking Joe” Deters is still listed as one of the attorneys at Che$ley’s law firm.- CALLING ALL TRI-STATE JOURNALISTS! The Cincinnati Pro Chapter of the Society of Professional Journalists is still looking for Your Best Work from 2010. Send in your entries today. Contact Tom McKee, Greater Cincinnati SPJ President, at Channel 9 “Substantially True” News.
- GOING GALT: Buy a non-union Nissan or Toyota made in America, and actually have it last twice as long.
- LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” #246 says you should Define “Multiculturalism” as the State-sanctioned grievance industry that stokes division and resentment, while always under the delusion that it is doing something positive called “celebrating diversity.”
NOW HERE’S THE LATEST FROM BUNKY TADWELL (OUR OFFENSIVE OCTEGENARIAN), THE BARD OF CLEVES: Just in time for the warm spring weather, we found this in his “Tulips and Trollops,” found in better bookstores everywhere, except in Cleves.
“Salute to Style”
The pants today are worn so low
It makes you really wonder
If she wants to tell you
She’s wearing nothing under.
FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA: Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane why he wouldn’t be attending this year’s White House Correspondents Dinner. “When an unabashed Liberal like Tom Brokaw refuses to show up, it must really be bad,” Kane explained.- AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”:
Monday we’ll be getting ready for our Annual Honesty Day celebration on Tuesday and we’ll still be counting down the 1,362 days until Obama’s “historic” Third Term begins.
Tuesday will be the actual Honesty Day and “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” will be as truthful as always.
Wednesday it’ll be “May Day” in America, and we’ll pay our annual disrespects to people who celebrate that event.
Thursday it’ll be “Take your Daughters to Work Day,” even if you’re a hooker.
The first line of Friday’s limerick is: “Here’s how to have fun on Cinco de Mayo.”
And on Saturday, we’ll be checking out the enhanced security measures for this year’s Flying Pig Marathon in the aftermath of the Boston Massacre.
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
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Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
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