Friday, April 26, 2013
While We’re Waiting For a Puff of White Smoke
TOP TEN LIST: Today is a pretty big day for Ohio Republicans because members of the State Central Committee are scheduled to choose between Tax Scofflaw Matt Borges and Tea Party Rabble-rouser Tom Zawistowski to be their new Party Boss. That’s why today we’re bringing you Matt Borges’ Top Ten Excuses for not mentioning anything about still owing $28,799 in federal taxes and $98,397 to the state:
10. I forgot
9. The dog ate it
8. She told me she loved me
7. I did it to help the homeless
6. The Devil made me do it
5. I just wanted to be loved–is there anything wrong with that?
4. I hate taxes
3. I was framed
2. This whole thing is just one big terrible mistake
…and the Number One Reason RINO Party Boss Candidate Matt Borges forgot to mention anything about still owing $28,799 in federal taxes and $98,397 to the state was, Current Ohio RINO Party Boss Boob Bennett said those idiot members on the Central Committee would never find out.
NOTE: As Republicans for Higher Taxes continue celebrating Matt Borges Week, they posted an anonymous email they received from an insider claiming that Ohio Republican Party Chairman Boob Bennett is considering how to rig the vote for Borges. The scheme would involve an unprecedented allowance of “proxy voting,” so that State Central Committee members who don’t want to be on record publicly supporting a convicted criminal with numerous tax liens can vote for Borges in secret. A better alternative, as discovered by every Republican in Ohio with common sense, is to elect a State Chairman who pays his taxes and hasn’t been convicted of abusing his office during a bribery investigation.
LEADERSHIP LACKING: Things couldn’t be turning out worse for Obama on the Boston Bombings. Not only did those Terrible Terrorist Tsarnaev Brothers turn out to be Murdering Muslims, but they also purchased their weapons illegally with their food stamps. Now all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span Voters can see they have the leader they truly deserve.- CROOKS IN CONGRESS: Both Parties are engaged in back-room talks about exempting themselves and their Capitol Hill aides from ObamaCare. Why is anybody surprised—they’re already exempt from Social Security!
Meanwhile in Cincinnati, with a $35 million deficit and summer layoffs of hundreds of city employees looming, Deranged DemocRAT Mayor Mark Mallory came up with another stupid idea— this one to give raises of 11-20% to his four top aides.
- HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1984, Ronald Reagan visited Communist China. Today, Obama and Congress continue to increase your grandchildren’s indebtedness to Beijing. Have you checked our “Debt Clock” lately?
- THE DIFFERENCE EXPLAINED: The “Difference” between the Supreme Court and the Ku Klux Klan is that the members of the Supreme Court dress in black robes and scare white people.
On the other hand, Thursday night, disgruntled members of the local NAALCP asked SMLP Smithermouth to resign as their president. Do you think Smithermouth’s love that dare not speak its name for Family Friendly Fascist Chris Finney at COAST might have something to do with it?
Former Cincinnati Clowncilman Cecil Thomas suggest Smithermouth should just resign and appoint his wife to replace him.
PLAYING THE RACE CARD: And did you see where Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP wrote a nasty letter to Tim Burka, accusing the Demo-Labor Party Boss of playing the race card by continuing to endorse incompetent black DemocRAT women like Juvenile Court Judge Tracie Hunter, attorney Janaya Trotter who last year unsuccessfully challenged Republican Prosecutor “JayWalking Joe” Deters, and new Cincinnati City Councilwoman Pamula Thomas?
And Ohio First Republican Congressman Steve Chabothead is in trouble with the Political Correctness Police, too— especially after he said, “Even if Obama won’t call those Boston Bombing Bastards ‘Islamic jihadists,’ I will.”
- MORE RACIAL HEALING: Belligerent Black Blogger Nate “Rhymes With Hate” Livingston filed an Application Requesting Permission to Broadcast, Televise, Photograph, and Record Courtroom Proceedings in the case of State of Ohio vs. Dierres Lee (Case No. B 1301194) and announced his intention to appear at the next proceeding in the case on April 30.
The Natester says the Cincinnati Black Blog has obtained copies of the 911 tapes made on the night of the shooting death of La Salle High School student Justin Brown. The 911 tapes raise questions about the official version of the story given to the lazy, unquestioning Cincinnati media. One caller reports hearing shots fired from more than one gun. Were Justin and his La Salle buddies armed with guns? Was Justin gunned down during a gun battle? How do we know one of Justin’s pals didn’t shoot him? Isn’t it possible that Dierres Lee was defending himself against a gang of armed bandits!?
FOOLS IN SCHOOLS: Failed Cincinnati Public Schools teachers had their chance to dump Julie “Sell Your Soul” in the recent union elections, but decided to keep her as she won by a NARROW margin. The Blower hopes just hopes Mary “Money Bags” Ronan didn’t hear that ONLY 5% of the teachers even bothered to fill out their MAIL-IN ballot. Ms. Mary will Eat ‘em alive in the upcoming negotiations.- TAKE YOUR DAUGHTERS TO WORK DAY: Our Compassionate Conservative says, “We took our girls to The Echo on ‘Take your kids to work day.’ We wanted our daughters to marry rich Hyde Park men so they could eat breakfast at The Echo, play tennis at the club, have their nails done, have their houses cleaned, and return home to be the perfect HP housewife. Work… never.. go to college to meet the right guy and never work again.”
Meanwhile, we have a picture of Loony Libertarian Cincinnati Mayoral Candidate Jim Berns campaigning in Key West yesterday on “Take Your Female Impersonating Children to Work Day.” Cincinnati Gay Party’s Chris Squealback totally approves!
ANGRY ANDERSONIANS say it’s only been a year since passing an operating tax levy (May 2012), and many people are wondering why the so-called anti-taxers at COAST (located only two blocks away) haven’t even raised the possibility of illegal campaigning to get people to the polls to pass their Stealth Tax Hike on May 7.- FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA: Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about the dedication of the Bush Library in Texas. “Liberals had to forego their usual Bush-bashing for about eleven seconds during the ceremonies, except that Obama used his speech to push Amnesty for future DemocRAT voters,” Kane explained, “but Real Republicans have always known what kind of a man George W. Bush always was.”
That’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose Bush 43’s “Terrorist attacks can shake the foundations of our biggest buildings, but they cannot touch the foundation of America. These acts shatter steel, but they cannot dent the steel of American resolve.”
Stories We’re Working On
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Bush Library will make Americans even more proud of Our Country - Five Jihadists have reached their targets in USA under Obama
- Airports around DC spared sequester impacts
- McConnell: Entire Country should be exempt from Obamacare
- Brown University student falsely accused of Boston Bombings found dead
- Boston Terrorists had plan to bomb Times Square
- Michigan DemocRAT caught on tape calling town official an “Arrogant Nigger”
Whistleblower Web Poll
This week, here’s what the first 17,648 Whistleblower Web Poll respondents said we’ve learned so far from the Boston Bombing:
(A) The War on Terror is not over: 2%
(B) Islam is not a peaceful religion: 1%
(C) Racial Profiling works: 1%
(D) Political Correctness kills: 96%
Note: Everything we write doesn’t have to be so damn cynical and mean-spirited, it’s just so much more fun that way!
Up Your Octane!
This week, everybody who is well aware of the fact that gasoline prices have more than doubled since Obama took office, e-mailed an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.
The winner is Orville Octane, who says buying gasoline is really a religious experience these days, because every time you see how much it costs to fill your tank, you yell, “Holy Christ!”
Orville wins a “Bomb Their Ass and Steal their Gas” T-shirt, a siphon for stealing his next-door neighbor’s gas, and once a week, One of Eric Deters’ Mexican Midgets promises to hide in Orville’s trunk so he can jump out and switch nozzles to Orville’s gas tank when other drivers are distracted waiting for their cars to fill up. His winning entry is:
Paying Four Dollars for a Gallon of Gas
Makes Crooked Bastards, Inc. happy, alas.
But they won’t be happy for long,
‘Cause greed is the name of their song,
As they shove the pump hose further up our ass.
“In Russ We Trust” Jackson who drives a gas-guzzler says
Paying four dollars for a gallon of gas
Is a phony price gouge, but it will not pass.
For Obama and his New World Order, you see,
It’s one more tool to destroy the bourgeoisie,
But Barry and his hell hounds can kiss my white ass.
“TaxKiller Tom” Brinkman who rolls down his car windows when its 98 degrees outside so he won’t have to use the air-conditioner says
Paying four dollars for a gallon of gas
Is kinda like takin’ it right up the ass
I’ve got a car that runs on coal
Green energy ain’t my goal
When it comes to eco-friendly, I’ll pass.
Community Values Guy Phil Burr-Ass says
When I was a kid, we rode bikes,
We walked where we could, and went on hikes
We did what we could
With coal, gas and wood
And there were no such things as homos and dykes.
NoKY Congressman Thomas Massie says
Paying four dollars for a gallon of gas
Is nothing less than a pain in the ass
I hear Charles Foster Kane
Has a car that runs on grain
I wish I had a car that runs on grass.
And from the Anderson Laureate (who’s still not successfully completed his racial sensitivity correspondence course):
Paying four dollars for a gallon of gas
Is really a royal pain in the ass.
But I pay what I gotta
‘Cause my car won’t run on watta
And it costs too much to cut my damn grass!
The first line of next week’s limerick is:
“Here’s how to have fun on Cinco de Mayo”
OHIO PARTY BOSS ELECTIONS HOT LINE
e-mail your Republican Results today.
Some Ohio GOP items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally Ohio GOP subscribers.
LINK OF THE DAY
WHITES ONLY LAUNDRY
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
