Sunday, April 21, 2013
The Blower’s Week in Review
OUR NUMBER ONE STORY THIS WEEK was how the War on Terror returned to America this week when those Muslim Murdering Brothers bombed the Boston Marathon, after Obama had lulled the nation into a sense of false confidence over terror threat, ably aided and abetted by his apologists in the Liberal press.- OUR NUMBER TWO STORY THIS WEEK was when Obama tried to argue away the terrorist brothers’ connection to radicalism after they turned out to be the white patriot terrorists the Liberals had wanted them to be.
- AND OUR NUMBER THREE STORY THIS WEEK was when we learned we could all breathe a little easier after hearing that “Mean Jean” Schmidt had survived the Boston Marathon Massacre. Local news outlets were really scrambling to hype the national tragedy, and “Mean Jean” couldn’t have been more accommodating. “Mean Jean” claimed “I’ve never been so close to death” before, but The Blower remembers her saying something like that back when she said somebody (probably not “TaxKiller Tom” Brinkman) had run her off the road into a ditch (which is why we lovingly call her our “Bitch in a Ditch.”) And it didn’t take long for “Mean Jean” to be “milking it” on her good friend WLW Hate Radio Trash Talker Bill Cunningham’s show the next day, telling all the terrorists in radio land about the upcoming Flying Pig Marathon in Cincinnati on Sunday, May 5.
- MONDAY in our Official “Tax Day” E-dition, The Blower gave you 1040 more reasons to hate the government:
Today is Tax Day in America, and our Good Friend Bobby Leach says a woman came up to him and said, “Is that your extension in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?” During the past several years, Tax Protest Rallies were a real BFD hereabouts. Remember when Tea Party Patriots packed Fountain Square? Remember when all those people were willing to pay $5 just to attend Cincinnati Tea Party’s big Rally for Sean Hannity’s Book on April 15? Nothing that exciting is going on this year. Does that mean over-taxed payers wouldn’t prefer spending cuts to tax hikes? You’d never know it, according to what you read in the newspapers or see on TV.
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- TUESDAY in our Special “Tax Scofflaw Update” E-dition, The Blower reported a surge in delinquent Over-Taxed Payers and our “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” included:
Yesterday was your dreaded TAX DAY, and 86% of American adults actually planned to have their taxes filed by Monday’s midnight deadline. —Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen
Today is “Emancipation Day” in Washington DC, a legal holiday commemorating the day in 1862 when Lincoln freed the Confederate slaves. —Hurley the Historian
Thursday is TAX FREEDOM DAY for everybody in the United States this year. That means Americans will have worked 108 days during 2013 before they have earned enough money to pay this year’s tax obligations at the federal, state and local levels. —Your Friends at the Tax Foundation
That’s why we chose John Marshall’s “The power to tax involves the power to destroy.” That was in 1819. We wonder what that conservative Chief Justice would say today. —Your Quote for Today Committee
Just because the president’s Federal tax rate was only 18.4% doesn’t mean he wasn’t paying his fair share. —Obama’s White House Spokes Dweeb Jay Cardboard
This year we increased our charitable donations from 1.5 % of our incomes to 1.87 %. At the same time, we raked in $26,400 in 2012 by renting a cottage on the property of our Delaware home to the Secret Service. —The Benevolent Bidens
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WEDNESDAY in our Special “Boston Bombing” E-dition, The Blower reported Terror had returned to America and Obama once again exploited tragedy for face time.
Monday afternoon, Obama took to the podium to try to explain the current status of how the White House was dealing with the Boston Bombings, but he couldn’t call that carnage “a terrorist attack or incident,” especially since Obama long ago rejected George W. Bush’s doctrine that placed the “War on Terror” at the center of American foreign policy. (Ft. Hood and now Boston are two terror attacks on U.S. soil under Obama’s watch.)
Obama said: “but make no mistake—we will get to the bottom of this. And we will find out who did this; we’ll find out why they did this. Any responsible individuals, any responsible groups will feel the full weight of justice.”
After Benghazi, right before the last election, Obama said: “And make no mistake, we will work with the Libyan government to bring to justice the killers who attacked our people.”
Good luck with that, because all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span voters who re-elected him are still waiting for Obama to bring those killers to justice. Just think, today there are only
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- THURSDAY, in our Special “US Invasion” E-dition, The Blower was still not on Homeland Security’s extremist list!
Hurley the Historian says on this date in 1775, Patriots Paul Revere and William Dawes set out on horseback from Boston, riding to every Middlesex, village, and farm to warn the countryside that the British were coming.
And this morning, our Quote for Today isn’t just bringing you one measly quote, they have the whole damn poem.
It’s too bad that Revere and Dawes weren’t riding around Boston last weekend. We could’ve used a little warning before Monday’s Terrorist Invasion of the Boston Marathon that Obama couldn’t call a terrorist attack, especially after the Obama administration declared Bush’s War on Terror to be over, continue to give over-taxed payers’ money to terrorist regimes, and slashed the Budget to prevent domestic terrorist bombing by 45%. Now let’s all hope the Boston Marathon Bomber wasn’t a white American.
Ironically, today is also officially Tax Freedom Day, when Your Friends at the Tax Foundation say Americans will have worked 108 days during 2013 to earn enough money to pay this year’s tax obligations at the federal, state and local levels. Who says voters don’t get a government they truly deserve?
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- FRIDAY in our Annual “Patriots’ Day” E-dition, The Blower said, “Now for something completely patriotic!”
Hurley the Historian said a lot of blood has been shed on this date in American history. Besides 1775, when the shot heard ‘round the world officially began the American Revolution during the Battle at Lexington Green, in 1861, we had the first bloodshed during the Civil War. In 1993, Clinton’s Attorney General Janet Reno blew up David Koresh and his followers at the Branch Davidian compound in Waco; and in 1995, Homegrown Terrorist Timothy McVeigh blew up the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City. Now which of these events do you think our Kneepad Liberals in the Press are most likely to mention?
Yesterday we told you how on that date in 1775, Patriots Paul Revere and William Dawes set out on horseback from Boston, riding to every Middlesex, village, and farm to warn the countryside that the British were coming, and wouldn’t you know, even way back when, the New York Times was already undermining America’s patriotism.
Some people confuse today’s “Patriots’ Day” celebration with George W. Bush’s “Patriot Day” commemoration on September 11. Even more people get the “Patriots’ Day” apostrophe in the wrong place, including patriotic Tea Partiers sending out e-mails reminding their patriots about tonight’s big Freedom Expo 2013 at the Northern Kentucky Convention Center.
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- SATURDAY in our Special “Old TV Game Show” E-dition, The Blower said, “Are you as smart as a TV show panelist?”
Remember that old TV game show where celebrity panelists put on blindfolds and tried to guess the identity of a famous person as the mystery guest? Let’s tune in to today’s program.
All those Birthers and After-Birthers out there (including Donald Trump) thought it was Barack Hussein Obama, so we had to give you another clue, because with all the Liberals’ convulsions over Gun Control and Concealed Carry Permits, Hurley the Historian said it was amazing Kneepad Liberals weren’t celebrating Adolph Hitler’s 124th birthday on Wednesday. After all, if there was ever a guy who believed in Gun Control, it was “der Fuehrer,” and our Quote for Today Committee chose Hitler’s “What luck for rulers that men do not think.”
Noted ACLU Attorney Scott Greenwood was really sad Cincinnati City Clown-cil said Nazis for Peace had to delay their scheduled visit to Cincinnati to commemorate Hitler’s Birthday. Maybe they’ll be in for Marge Schott’s Birthday on August 18. But that shouldn’t stop the rest of us from celebrating with a little Furor over the Fuehrer. So now, from “The Producers,” let’s all sing “Springtime for Hitler”:
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IT’S COLLECTION TIME
This weekend, your Neighborhood Whistleblower News Boy or Girl will be stopping by to collect $3.50 for delivery of this month’s Blower. The children retain half of this amount plus any tips you give them to reward good service. This month we’re featuring nine-year-old Louis “Porky” Dorkman, an adorable little 288-lb. illegitimate waif, whose mother still hasn’t found a job after she lost her job at the Hamilton County Auditor’s Office just in time for Thanksgiving. For information about our carrier program, please call Mr. Scamwell at our circulation department.
More Politics Unusual
IT’S BEEN A TOUGH WEEK FOR OBAMA: And all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span voters who re-elected him are just now getting a taste of what the remaining 1,370 lame duck days of Obama’s second term have in store.- EMPATHY FROM THE LEFT: The New York Times showed sympathy for the Muslim Murderers because they only killed an 8-year-old boy and three other people.
- OBAMA LOOTERS: Videos posted online show dozens of Boston Marathon spectators grabbing merchandise from a vacated staff tent in the aftermath of Monday’s bombing.
- DUMBED-DOWN DEMOCRATS: Delusional DemocRAT New York Governor Cuomo tried to connect the Boston Terror Attacks to “Climate Change.”
- MEDIA MENDACITY: Was Marathon Murderer Dzhokhar Tsarnaev an Obama supporter in the 2012 presidential election. Will somebody please tell us the first time they see that reported by the mainstream press?
- THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Ronald Reagan’s “Terrorism is the preferred weapon of weak and evil men.”
- IRONIC UPDATE: Was wounded Muslim Murderer Dzhokhar Tsarnaev really taken to Beth Israel Hospital after he was captured? And did Donald Trump actually ask if Obamacare would be used to bring the Murdering Muslim back to health?
- CAIR CARES: Terrorist Apologists at the Council on American-Islamic Relations is whining that Islam keeps getting blamed for Islamic Terrorism. CAIR claims you should blame Conservatives, “Islamophobia,” racism, Christianity, and blame anything other than the root source of terrorism, Islam.
- OVER-TAXED PAYER SUPPORTED TERRORISTS: The Daily Caller reports suspected Boston Marathon bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev attended a Massachusetts mosque that made a controversial deal with a Boston city agency that allowed it to buy land at a lower-than-market price in exchange for various token services to the Boston community, despite the mosque’s links to some radical anti-American figures. The 19-year-old Tsarnaev attended mosque at the Islamic Society of Boston (ISB) in Cambridge, Massachusetts.
- NBC FINALLY GOT ONE RIGHT: During NBC News’ live coverage of the manhunt for Dzhokhar Tsarnev, anchor Brian Williams handed off the network’s coverage to New England Cable News when an unidentified voice said, “We don’t shit.”
- OUR LATE NIGHT JOKEWATCHER: So far, there are no reports of late night TV comics making jokes about the Boston Marathon. Earlier in the week, The Blower reported TV guy Andy Levy saying a good way to tell if your Boston Marathon joke is funny is that nobody who’s actually funny is making Boston Marathon jokes.
- UNION BLUES: The United Union of Roofers, Waterproofers, and Allied Workers is the first Union to officially call for the repeal of ObamaCare. The Blower predicts it won’t be the last.
- TEA PARTY PRINCIPLES: Liberal Pundits couldn’t have been more upset when those Bombing Boston Brothers turned out to be Murdering Muslims instead right wing extremist Tea Party Members following Sarah Palin on Twitter.
- THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says the terrorist bombing at the Boston Marathon and the resulting manhunt for the perpetrators have held the attention of the nation for the past week, but Americans seem to be taking the events in stride. Only 71% of Likely U.S. Voters believe it is at least somewhat likely that there will be another terrorist attack in the United States in the next year. But that’s down from the 85% who felt that way in May 2010 following the unsuccessful bombing attempt in Times Square.
- HURLEY THE HISTORIAN reminds us during the Texas War for Independence, the Texas militia under Sam Houston launched a surprise attack against the forces of Mexican General Santa Anna along the San Jacinto River. The Mexicans were thoroughly routed, and hundreds were taken prisoner, including General Santa Anna himself. And on Monday, Obama berated a Texas reporter for interrupting him during an interview.
- SHAMELESS SOLICITING: The Blower is waiting for reports of the first politician to use the Boston Bombing to raise campaign funds.
More Unresolved Issues
G-UNCONTROL: The nation’s toughest gun-control law made Massachusetts less safe.- ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION: Opponents of so-called immigration reform are already using the Boston Bombing to try to slow progress on a bipartisan Senate bill that would never have been signed into law anyway.
- RACIAL HEALING: PMSNBC Racial Racketeer Al Sharpton was running interference for Jihad this week when he said, “Muslims? . . . What Muslims”
- GAY NEWS UPDATE: Ohio Senator Rob “Fighting for Gay Sex” Portman Rob Portman has support after backing gay marriage, everywhere it seems except in The Fishwrap. Now everybody’s waiting to see if Portman endorses the Boy Scouts of America (BSA) proposal to lift a long-standing ban against gays—but only for scouts under age 18 and not for scoutmasters or adult leaders.
- EDJUMACATION: Boston Jihadists may have trained in the Chechen Islamic School of Terrorism.
More Political Insight Today
$TAN CHE$LEY HAD A TOUGH WEEK TOO: First our Greedy Hearse-Chasing, Disgraced-DemocRAT Clinton-loving, Fen-Phen Scandal Plagued, Disbarred in Kentucky Trial Attorney was forced to resign from the University of Cincinnati’s Board of Trustees. Then he avoided ethic sanctions in Ohio by sending a letter of resignation to the Ohio Supreme Court. It really must’ve been hard for $tan to find an attorney to notarize his affidavit. It’s a good thing Judge Susan brought her notary seal home.- FECKLESS FISHWRAPPERS: This week Political Editor Carl Weiser left Loony Libertarian Cincinnati Mayoral Candidate Jim Berns’ name out of a story by John Johnston and Jason Williams about the Hamilton County Board of Elections’ validating enough signatures to place the Parking Meter Leasing referendum on the November ballot. Berns, the only mayoral candidate currently on the ballot, personally collected 790 signatures for the referendum. Wouldn’t it be funny if Weiser told Berns: “Jim, you are one of the lesser known candidates and we plan on keeping it that way.”
- CALLING ALL TRI-STATE JOURNALISTS! The Cincinnati Pro Chapter of the Society of Professional Journalists is still looking for Your Best Work from 2010. Send in your entries today. Contact Tom McKee, Greater Cincinnati SPJ President, at Channel 9 “Substantially True” News.
- REPUBLICANS FOR HIGHER TAXES believe the Cincinnati Trolley Folly should be built no matter how much it costs. They endorse a new Streetcar Tax to make sure the project can be completed.
- GOING GALT: Before hiring anyone to do work on: your car, lawn, or house, ask them who they voted for. If they either won’t tell you or say “Obama,” tell them “Sorry I cannot trust your judgment when it comes to important matters, so how could i trust your judgment when it comes to my property?”
- LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” #105 says you should invite all your Liberal friends to protest at a Tax Day Rally on Fountain Square, but that’s only if our Anti-Taxers remember to have a rally on Tax Day this year.
NOW HERE’S THE LATEST FROM BUNKY TADWELL (OUR OFFENSIVE OCTEGENARIAN), THE BARD OF CLEVES: Just in time for to enjoy the warmer Spring weather, we found this special springy poem by our old friend Bunky Tadwell, the Bard of Cleves, from his latest book, “Sonnets for All Seasons,” found in better bookstores everywhere, except in Cleves.
“It Might As Well Be Spring Fever”
I’m glad that Spring is finally here
It brings some warmer breezes
But it also brings more allergies
With water eyes and sneezes
FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA: Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane how Muslim Murderers were able to get away with bombing the Boston Marathon on Monday. “Don’t forget,” Kane explained. “Terrorists only have to be lucky once, we have to be lucky all the time.”- AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”:
Monday we’ll be celebrating “Earth Day,” and we’ll still be counting down the 1,369 days until Obama’s “historic” Third Term begins.
Tuesday we’ll be cleaning up after “Earth Day” and “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” will feature some mud-slinging of our own.
Wednesday it’ll be “Secretary’s Day,” and we’ll try to remind you not to call them “gals” that day.
Thursday it’ll be “Take your Daughters to Work Day,” even if you’re a hooker.
And the first line of Friday’s limerick is: “The new chairman at the Ohio GOP.”
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
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Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
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