Saturday, April 6, 2013
Bluegrass Residents Are Free at Last
Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says today is Tax Freedom Day in Kentucky. According to our friends at The Tax Foundation, today’s the day in CamBooLand each year you stop working exclusively for the government, because every dollar you’ve earned so far this year will have theoretically gone to pay all of your federal, state, and local taxes for 2018. Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose Franklin P. Adams’ “Count the day won when, turning on its axis, this earth imposes no additional taxes.”
The CamBoozler says Tax Freedom day comes to Kentucky nearly two weeks before “Tax Day” in America on April 18 and almost a full week before April 12, when over-taxed payers on the North Shore can begin working for themselves, since everybody knows state and local taxes are lower in Kentucky. Maybe that explains why so many folks besides Bungals bad boys and over-sexed MILFs prefer living in Kentucky, the land of fast women and beautiful horses. That’s why Our Beloved Publisher Charles Foster Kane remembers that time he had lunch at the Wok with Miss Vicki and Y’All Ville Mayor Blondie Whalen.
Pissed-Off Parkers
Why did Parking Plot Protesters need to turn in petitions with 19,803 signatures when they only needed 8,729 valid signatures to get their issue on the ballot? Don’t people who sign petitions under pain of perjury know if they are actually residents of Cincinnati? “TaxKiller Tom” Brinkman (looking like John Galt) explains, “Don’t forget, these are the same Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span voters who elected Girly Mayor Mark Mallory and our Nine Fine Clowns on Clown-cil in the first place, and Loony Libertarian Mayoral Candidate Jim Berns says he should win the prize for turning in the most invalid signatures. But The Blower wonders how many of those signatures were solicited by “Paid Petitioners,” how much was spent, and where did the money come from?
More Breaking News
JESTER SEQUESTER GESTURE: Obama now claims he’ll be giving up 5% of his $400,000 salary because of Sequester Cuts. To put things in perspective, Weasel Zippers says the check Obama will cut would cover the costs of Air Force One for about six-and-a-half minutes as he needlessly flies around the country on his endless campaign.- OHIO NEWS: Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders wonders why The Cleveland Pain Dealer is cutting back its home delivery to three days a week. That rag has really gone downhill since former Pain Dealer News Hawk Turned Bellwether Blogger Bill Sloat retired.
And look who got his name in Thursday’s NY Times Doubts and Downloads story: Neanderthal porn and gay-sex-obsessed Phil Burr-Ass may have finally done it. Commenting on Senator Rob “Fighting for My Son’s Right to Same-Sex Blowjobs” Portman’s recent support of gay marriage, the CCV president vowed to oppose Portman’s re-election “tooth and nail.” Maybe the newly-energized gay-rights folks should look into CCV’s misuse of its tax-exempt status to support or oppose political candidates.
Did the Toledo Blade really have a big story on Friday about how Defeated, Corrupt, Evicted, Lying, Plagiarizing, Meddling, Overblown, Bought-And-Paid-For, Tax-And-Spend, Wrinkle-Puss RINO Bitch-In-A-Ditch “Mean Jean” Schmidt avoided an order to repay roughly $500,000 that the House Ethics Committee ruled she wrongly accepted in legal fees from a Turkish-American group? Even The Fishwrap had those guys from Toledo beat by two years on that story.
Also in Toledo, Ohio Right to Life was pleased to announce that the University of Toledo had terminated the transfer agreement between Capital Care Network of Toledo, one of the area’s largest abortion clinics, along with negotiations for a transfer agreement with Center for Choice, one of the longest-serving abortion providers in the region.
MORAL ISSUE UPDATE: Last month during a meeting organized by Lobbyist Chippy Gerhardt at the Greater Cincinnati Health Council’s Norwood Office, half a hundred hospital CEOs, medical professionals, and a host of staffers and lobbyists from various organizations were cheering for Medicaid expansion before five members of the General Assembly. After two of the state rep-tiles expressed concerns about the costs and noted the constituent feedback in opposition to Medicaid expansion, Reverend Demon Lynch, Jr. stated that fiscal and political issues should be put aside. He also said that the General Assembly should simply “do the right thing” and because this is a “moral issue.” When it was Republican 65th House District State Rep-tile John Becker’s turn to speak, he looked over at Lynchmob and made a few comments about the “moral issues”:
For me to reach into the wallet of a taxpayer and turn that money over to a federal social program is a moral issue for me, sir.
To continue the unsustainable path that will ultimately lead to a federal bankruptcy is a moral issue for me, sir.
To further expand a dependency class and further reduce peoples’ motivations to rely on themselves, is a moral issue for me, sir.
You mentioned the political considerations. In part, I ran on a platform of limited government and lower taxes. For me to go back to Clermont County and tell the voters that I changed my mind, is a moral issue for me, sir.
I’ve had a number of discussions with various people regarding the potential of Medicaid expansion to apply to abortion. Some believe that there will be no impact. Others believe that abortion coverage will be expanded because of the exchanges and the commingling of private funds. It doesn’t appear that anybody really knows for sure. However, there is one thing that we do know with absolute certainty. If there is any possible way that the Obama administration can find a loophole, or some gray area, or can in any way justify expanding abortion, they will. And that sir, is a moral issue for me.
Becker also chimed in on “gay marriage”: As I listen to the arguments in favor of this abomination, I keep thinking of how those arguments could be applied: If it’s about love, can I marry my pet(s)? If it’s about equality, can I have any equal number of male and female spouses? Who’s to say how many of what that I can marry? If somebody has a different idea, isn’t that discrimination or bigotry? If my son wants to marry his sister, is that a problem? Why?
It’s no wonder that when Republican elected officials speak so forthrightly, our Kneepad Liberals in the Press never seem to want to cover it.
BETTER LATE THAN NEVER: The Anderson Tea Party was really late announcing Thursday night’s town hall meeting with “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup, even though the Ohio Second District Congressman’s Office is directly across the street from Anderson Tea Party Headquarters. It’s been three months and “Bronze Star’s” staff still hasn’t learned how to send out a simple press release.- HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1896, the first modern Olympic Games were played in Athens, Greece and folks hereabouts are still laughing at how many morons were snookered by Nick Vehr’s wet dream of having the Worst Run City in America host the Olympics in 2012, only to get beat out by Little Old London, England.
- FINALLY, 22 YEARS AGO THIS WEEK (when The Whistleblower used to be printed and delivered all over town) Edition #44, which came out on April 1, 1991, was our First Annual Sincere Apology Issue.
You can’t believe how many people in the news media we had to apologize to that year, including: Bob Braun; Local political cartoonists Jim Borgman, Jeff Stahler, and Joe Hoffecker; Thom Brenneman, for saying that his dad used to walk him to school because they were both in the same grade; WLW Radio sports talk host Cris Collinsworth, along with Andy Furman and Bob Trumpy; WKRC-TV Sports Director Ken Broo; Pat Barry; Compost columnist David Wecker, Business Record Publisher Henry Dorfman; Jennie Key; Channel 12 weather guesser Tim Hedrick, John Lomax and Debra Silberstein. At the Enquirer we had Mr. Whig, Editor George Blake, Publisher Bill Keating, Radio-TV Critic John Keiswetter, Tip-off Columnist Jim Knippenberg, Camilla Warrick, and Sara Pearce. At Channel 9, there was Clyde Gray, Randy Little, and the entire “I-Team.” On Radio Row there was WEBN News Brother Greg Kopp, Eddie Fingers, Bill Cunningham, Mike McConnell, and Marilyn Harris.
Whistleblower Gossip Columnist Linda Libel says she’s still not apologizing for her award-winning expose about the person currently at Channel 19 who allegedly sexually harassed former Channel 19 videographer Bill Fesh back in 1996. That harassment reportedly included a seductive letter, phone calls, job-related threats, and unwanted sexual advances which Fesh claims induced him into a vile-and-disgusting two-year sexual relationship. Not only that, Fesh claimed TV 19 management sent him and his hottie harasser on assignment and required the pair to share a room. Shortly after that trip, Fesh said his marriage broke up because of his minor personal indiscretions with that blonde floozy anchorbabe, if you know what we mean.
FINALLY, “IT’S COLLECTION TIME,” and this weekend, your Neighborhood Whistleblower News Boy or Girl will be stopping by to collect $3.50 for delivery of this month’s Blower. The children retain half of this amount plus any tips you give them to reward good service. This month we’re featuring nine-year-old Louis “Porky” Dorkman, an adorable little 288-lb. illegitimate waif, whose mother still hasn’t found a job after she lost her job at the Hamilton County Auditor’s Office just in time for Thanksgiving. For information about our carrier program, please call Mr. Scamwell at our circulation department.
BLUEGRASS TAX FREEDOM DAY HOT LINE
e-mail your celebratory commentary today.
Some tax free items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally tax free subscribers, but we could always use a lot more.
Link of the Day
Billionaire Row Hypocrisy
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