One of the best parts about publishing The Whistleblower Newswire is checking our e-mail first thing each morning to see some of those politically insightful items we’ve received from our equally politically insightful subscribers. Our readers’ comments are extremely helpful for our analysis and interpretation of today’s important top stories.
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
The First 108 Days Are Always The Hardest
YESTERDAY AT THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane which was his “Favorite Day” in April. “There are so many to choose from,” Kane explained. “So it would be hard to pick a favorite.” But the day we plan to celebrate this year, and so would all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span voters who voted for Obama last November, is “Tax Freedom Day.” That’s the date our friends at the Tax Foundation say the average US over-taxed payer has worked long enough to pay all of his federal, state, and local taxes for the year.
Tax Freedom Day 2013 arrives on April 18 this year. Coincidentally, that’s three days after your 2012 taxes are due. Still, that’s five days later than last year, due mainly to the so-called “Fiscal Cliff” deal that raised federal taxes on individual income and payroll. Obamacare’s investment tax and excise tax also went into effect. Finally, despite these tax increases, the economy is expected to continue its slow recovery, boosting profits, incomes, and tax revenues.
That means you’ll need more than three months of your hard-earned wages just to pay your taxes this year. Americans will spend an average of 29.4% of their income on federal, state, and local taxes in 2013. That’s more than the average family spends on food, clothing, and housing.
In Columbus, Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says Ohio over-taxed payers will work until April 12 (ranked #28 nationally) to pay their total tax bills, but Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says Tax Freedom Day will arrive even earlier on April 6 (ranked #40 nationally), because as everybody knows, your state and local taxes are lower in Kentucky.
THE CINCINNATI MESS
(You’ll only read about in The Blower)
Cincinnati’s Dainty DemocRAT Mayor Mark Mallory did a lame imitation of Obama Tuesday morning when he called a press conference, surrounded himself with Rubber Stamp DemocRATS on City Clown-cil, and threatened to cut tours of Cincinnati City Hall for schoolchildren if people didn’t approve of his Parking Giveaway Plan, just like Obama did at the White House.
Parking Giveaway Opponents Attorney Curt Hartman says the gist of Mallory’s statement was: “We’re city council and we know what’s in the parking plan; you’re stupid people who don’t know what’s in there. So shut up and just do what we tell you. Why don’t the people trust us?”
Following up on Tuesday’s News-scoop in The Blower, Laure’ “Not So” Cleanlivin’ admits to having received 30 parking tickets in the past two years (of course, the car was in her husband’s name) – and she only paid them all after the State warned it wasn’t going to renew her husband’s license plates due to those unpaid tickets. (She did indicate that she thought she had paid them all.)
“TaxKiller Tom” Brinkman bets our Slut-for-Obama got all 30 parking tickets going to yoga class in Mt. Lookout with all those other MILF wannabes so she could have the strongest kegel muscles in history.
Republicans for Higher Taxes are upset with Judge Robert Winkler for ruling that citizens have a right to petition the Cincinnati parking plan. They believe Winkler should have ignored the law that gives them this right, and instead ruled according to the wishes of the Dinsmore law firm (Alex Triantafilou’s employer, run by George Vincent) who represented the City of Cincinnati.
Petitions need to be turned in on Wednesday so they can be filed at the Board of Elections on Thursday, and Loony Libertarian Mayoral Candidate Jim Berns says he’s hoping to win the prize for turning in the most invalid signatures.
THIS WEEK’S DEADLY SIN IS SLOTH
IN COLUMBUS: Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says Tom Zawistowski, President of the We the People Convention and Executive Director of the Portage County TEA Party, announced his bid to be Chairman of the Ohio Republican Party, which is being vacated by retiring Chairman Boob Bennett. Could this be a sign our Tea Party Patriots don’t approve of Boob’s choice of Matt Borges to be his replacement?- HORSESHOE CASINO OFF-DUTY POLICE CONTROVERSY: Wouldn’t it be funny if Cincinnati Police Captain Kim Frey (aka Kim JANKE, as in the wife of the casino’s security director and retired ASSistant police chief Richard Janke) has devised a new scheme to get her way and Ricky’s way too? Some officers who do not wish to work the detail because of the existing controversy have been told by Captain Kim that it’s time to “take one for the team” and work the detail as she and Ricky desire, or the future may not be so comfortable for those who choose to do otherwise.
Speaking of Da Polices, our Belligerent Black Blogger Nate “Rhymes with Hate” Livingston is developing his new FireJamesCraig.com website. The Natester says it’s almost done.
- QUEERS ON CAMPUS: To recognize Rob “Fighting for Fancy Boys” Portman’s son Will’s “Coming Out,” the University of Cincinnati has been celebrating an entire over-taxed payer supported Queercat Pride Week from Friday, March 29 through Friday, April 5. Tonight’s event is Queeraoke (whatever the hell that is) from 7 to 10 p.m. at Baba Budan’s, 239 West McMillan Street.
INDULGE YOUR MEAT TOOTH: Was that story about Procter & Gamble launching a bacon-flavored version of Scope mouthwash a hoax? Besides this print ad in USA Today, they also have this video.- POLITICAL PRIORITIES: At the Hamilton County RINO Party, Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP’s April 2013 Chairman’s Report featured his growing Facebook obsession, but nary a word on all those fine candidates he’s been recruiting.
- HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1882 Jesse James was shot in the back by Bob Ford, a member of his gang who hoped to collect the bounty on Jesse’s head. That’s one funeral that Defeated, Corrupt, Evicted, Lying, Plagiarizing, Meddling, Overblown, Bought-And-Paid-For, Tax-And-Spend, Wrinkle-Puss RINO Bitch-In-A-Ditch “Mean Jean” Schmidt didn’t crash, since she was only a lowly state-rep-tile back then.
IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY: The latest and greatest e-dition of Our Good Friend Kenton County Commonwealth’s Attorney E Rob Sanders deliciously delightful e-newsletter is on cyber news stands now! This week’s This Week In Kenton Circuit Court features all kinds of bags… as in scum, dirt, and douche, but no bigger losers than Garza brothers Troy and Michael who were both convicted of criminal mischief. With a couple sons like these low-lifes, we’re sure the parents must be proud. Maybe we can get Billy Bob the Bluegrass Bailiff to send us mom and dad’s mugshots too?! We can only assume the criminal gene runs in this family.- BOYCOTTING PUBLIC EDUCATION: Kentucky U.S. Senator Rand Paul says his dad, Retired US Congressman and Former Presidential Candidate Ron Paul will be in Cincinnati this weekend at the Home School Convention. Tickets are $10 each or $20 each for the “gold circle.” Organizers say Dr. Paul’s question and answer session will not be recorded. Thank goodness for that.
- FARLEY FAIRWEATHER says now that the 2013 Cincinnati Reds Opening Day has finally arrived, Dusty’s Boys have picked up right where they left off in 2012, and all that hype that fueled our hope for renewal will soon vanish for another year. This year’s slogan should be “You can’t lose ‘em all.” And after watching all 13 excruciating innings of Monday’s Opening Day Debacle, you know it’s going to be a long season, especially if the Reds keep running Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters’ crappy TV commercials. Farley also remembers Pete Rose’s Opening Day 50 years ago. As a matter of fact So did Pete’s bookie.
NOW HERE’S THE LATEST FROM BUNKY TADWELL, THE BARD OF CLEVES: Just in time to enjoy the 2011 baseball season, we found this in his “American Pastimes,” found in better bookstores everywhere, except in Cleves.
“A Field of Dreams”
Opening Day has finally arrived
It was fun for one and all.
Especially for all the boys
If the girlies would just play ball.
FINALLY, 22 YEARS AGO THIS WEEK (when The Whistleblower used to be printed and delivered all over town) Edition #44, which came out on April 1, 1991, was our First Annual Sincere Apology Issue.
Our Top Ten List was the things for which we felt we had to apologize.
In “Real Editorials by the Publisher,” Charles Foster Kane swore his apologies on a stack of Bibles.
Inside that edition we featured “Great Apologies in History.”
Our “Other Apologies” ran more than five pages of small type.
And in Northern Kentucky, we had to apologize to young Eric Deters, and that was even before we started calling him “Crazy.”
TAX FREEDOM COUNTDOWN HOT LINE
e-mail your extension requests tonight
Some anti-tax items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally anti-tax subscribers.
LINK OF THE DAY
Tax Freedom Day: The Song!
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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