Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers

• Today we’re still trying to figure out how much our grandchildren had to borrow from China to pay for Obama’s Historic Second Inauguration. Obama increased Debt $50,521 per household; more than the first 42 presidents combined! —U.S. Over-taxed Payers ($16.5 Trillion in Debt)
• Wasn’t it all really a total waste of time and money, since both the president and vice president were sworn in at separate ceremonies on Sunday? —Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus
• Wasn’t it surprising twice as many people planned to ignore the televised event (41%) than in 2009 (21%)? —Harry the Cable Guy
• Although there will probably only be about a quarter of us celebrating at Obama’s Second Inauguration, we’ll try to leave as big as mess as we did in 2009. —Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span Self-Entitled Obama Supporters, Who Still Haven’t Learned How to Pick Up After Themselves
• Monday was just another day in Washington when absolutely nothing was accomplished to solve the many problems our nation in facing. —Your DC Newsbreaker
• Some people think Obama’s Second Inaugural Address declared “War on Liberty As We Know It.” —Conservative Curmudgeon Stu Mahlin
• Is this a great day for America or what? —Republicans for Higher Taxes
• For Obama’s Historic Second Inauguration, our enemies are killing more American Hostages in the terror siege in Algeria, unlike when Ronald Reagan was inaugurated and Iran released 52 America hostages after a 444 day ordeal during the Carter Administration. —Hurley the Historian
• Maybe that’s because as Obama began his second term, only 41% believed the U.S. President was the most powerful person in the world, and 44% disagree. —Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen
• We made it official when we called Obama’s Inauguration “The Second Coming.” —Newsweak
• Coulda and shoulda are words we don’t use. They only depress us and give us the blues! —Romney Supporters Anonymous Members in Goshen
• Dear Whistleblower: I just renewed my oath of office to serve as your president for four more years. Thank you for making this possible. It’s an honor to be your president. Now it’s time to finish what we started — let’s get going. —Barack
• Did I make my First Official Gaffe of the Second Term when after I took the oath and said I was glad to be the president? —Obama’s VP Joke Biden
• Some people say Biden reminds them of my dummy Walter. —Ventroloquist Jeff Dunham
• Isn’t it odd that Obama’s Unemployment Rate is the same today as it was when he first took office in 2009 (but only because 8,332,000 Americans dropped out of the workforce during Obama’s First Term) and the cost of a gallon of gas has doubled? —Americans Who Had to Work on Marin Luther King Day
• To celebrate Obama’s Inauguration, I just fired two Liberal employees to pay for Obamacare. —A Business Owner in Utah
• And how did you like our Inauguration poster comparing Obama to Jesus? —Street Vendors at the Inauguration
• How’d you like the way we gushed over the First Lady’s new wig? —NBC News
• Did you see where I called Monday “Hump Day” for the Obama Administration. —Mark Steyn, replacing Rush Limbaugh for the Historic Holiday
• Here’s a riddle: What’s the difference between today’s front page and the DemocRAT Party’s newsletter? The DNC newsletter has fewer pictures of King Obama’s coronation. —Feckless Fishwrappers
• For Obama’s Historic Second Inauguration, our enemies are killing more American Hostages in the terror siege in Algeria, unlike when Ronald Reagan was inaugurated and Iran released 52 America hostages. —Hurley the Historian
• That’s why we chose The Gipper’s “Let us be respected to the point that never again will a demented dictator dare to invade an American embassy and hold our people hostage.” —Your Quote for Today Committee
• Are you trying to make a point about how great a job I’ve done as Secretary of State during Obama’s First Term? —Hillary
• I was pleased as punch to be unanimously rubber stamped as the Ohio RINO Party Boss to continue the great work I began in 2012. —Boob Bennett
• In 2009 when we got paid for being off on Monday for Martin Luther King Day and Tuesday for Obama’s Coronation, that was really “historic.” —City Hall Slackers
• How “historic” was the number of idiots willing to pay their own way to Washington for Obama’s Coronation on MLK Day? —Dainty DemocRAT Cincinnati Mayor Mark Mallory
• How “historic” was telling that Earl Butz joke on Obama’s Coronation? —WLW Radio’s Racist in Residence Bill Cunningham
• We liked it when Willie said “Today was the blackest inauguration day in history” because it was on MLK Day. —NAALCP President SMLP Smithermouth
• Every MLK Day, I have a wet dream. —Masturbating Anderson Township Trustee Kevin O’Brien
• And you didn’t see much news coverage of all those people supporting Second Amendment Rights on Saturday, as Conservatives are using Obama’s Second Term to rebuild. —Bluegrass Rifle Association Spokesman Billy Bob Carbine
• If Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E Rob Sanders comes out with a special This Week in Kenton Circuit Court for Obama’s Coronation featuring criminals wearing Obama t-shirts like they did in Chicago, would that be “historic?” — Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo
• Today we’re serving four-year-old Obama baloney to celebrate this “historic” occasion. —Terry the Smiling Jailer” Carl
• Exposing my already-disgraced former Bungal cheerleader client who had sex with her student to even more sordid news coverage is OK, so long as it gets me more media attention, even from the people at the Fishwrap you’ve filed frivolous lawsuits against. —Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters
• Trish the Dish wants to know when Mitt Romney gets his inauguration. —TV 19 News
• Now you know why I finally had enough of those TV morons in Cincinnati. —Jack Atherton, (Channel 22.45 in Dayton in case you wanted to knit me a head warmer)

— Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer —

Sometimes The Blower makes fun of Obama Supporters in the Press to show that unfair-and-biased hacks will not be tolerated in our society. This should be clear to anybody who didn’t have an O-basm over Obama Historic Second Inauguration yesterday.

This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental — especially Fishwrappers who ought to be fired, instead of furloughed.

OBAMA INAUGURATION HOT LINE

e-mail your obambastic oratory today.

Some sarcastic items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally sarcastic subscribers.

Link of the Day

Obama’s Inaugural Entertainment – The Tonight Show with Jay Leno

Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.

Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here