Special “We Tried to Tell Them” E-dition

One of the best parts about publishing The Whistleblower Newswire is checking our e-mail first thing each morning to see some of those politically insightful items we’ve received from our equally politically insightful subscribers. Our readers’ comments are extremely helpful for our analysis and interpretation of today’s important top stories.

Thursday, January 10, 2012

Another Whistleblower Prediction Came True

  • image004ISN’T IT IRONIC: Our DC Newsbreaker reports Omaha’s Wendy’s franchise will be cutting hours for 100 employees due to the new DemocRAT Obamacare health plan. Photoshop Spoofer Edward Cropper shows us the new Wendy’s Logo.

All non-management positions will have their hours reduced to 28-a-week. Cuts are coming because Obamacare requires employers to offer health insurance to employees working 32-38 hours a week. Under the current law they are not considered full time and small business owners can’t afford to stay in operation and pay for everyone’s health insurance.

That means all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span Obama Voting Employees are now getting exactly what they voted for.

  • G-UNCONTROL: The psycho in the Sandy Hook massacre never used an “assault rifle,” only handguns. The Coroner lied about it to stir up all the Gun Control Fanatics.
  • HURLEY THE HISTORIAN: On this date in 1946, the first General Assembly of the United Nations, comprising 51 nations, convened at Westminster Central Hall in London, England. So whose bonehead idea was it to bring those parasites to the United States anyway?
  • image007IN COLUMBUS: Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders reports State Senator Bill Seitz says Ohio’s judges are woefully underpaid. Do you think he’ll now get off, if he’s ever caught for DUI like so many of his state rep-tile drinking buddies have been?
  • OUR OHIO CONGRESSMEN: Steve Chabothead explains the upcoming Debt Ceiling Debate on his blog, and here’s the latest on the secret location of Ohio Second District Congressman “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup’s office, straight from his own web page.
  • image004ANGRY ANDERSONIANS: Most people were still outraged after Disingenuous DemocRAT Judge Fanon Rucker let Disgraced Masturbating Trustee Kevin “Spanky” O’Brien get off on a technicality on Tuesday for trying to get off in front of a Wellborn woman last May. Immediately afterwards, Whacky Jacky’s Illegitimate Son Kevin meditated in a darkened room while considering his favorite paradoxical Zen question: “If a man masturbates in a car and there is only one person to see it, is he still publicly indecent?” Meanwhile, Duffy “The Kevin Killer” Beischel asked, “What is the sound of one hand slapping the salami, Grasshopper?”
  • image010COUNTDOWN TO TAX DAY: Hamilton County Treasurer Robert A. Goering wants all property owners to remember: according to the counter at the lower right corner of this page, your jacked up real estate taxes that people were stupid enough to approve are due in only 21 days or our Disingenuous DemocRAT County Auditor will publish your name in The Fishwrap, along with all those other deadbeats.
  • CLEAN KITCHEN AWARD: The Hamilton County Public Health Department recognizes the best-of-the-best in maintaining safe food service operations. Does that also include some of our local restaurants?
  • SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL SHERIFF: One of Sheriff Leis’ command staff thought he was too important to resign or retire before the new sheriff took office, even though all of them did except Commander Keith Groppe of the Regional Narcotics Unit, who must’ve thought he was untouchable and irreplaceable. Apparently he was way wrong and RENU now has a new commander.
  • INVESTIGATIVE JOURNALIST FEARLESS FERRETT says many people when some people learn more about that woman with six felonies in Ohio who’s been active in Hamilton County RINO Party politics for several years, they’ll wish they’d known about her sooner.
  • image012CH SNITCH AT 1000 MAIN STREET reports Courthouse Hacks want to know more about that story (uncovered by a debt collector) involving the slow payment history of a relative to a well-known local elected official, whose name you might know. On November 21, the guy was the recipient of his third certificate of judgment filed against him in 2012 by the Great State of Ohio, after earning such judgments on March 22 and April 26.
  • IN CLERMONT COUNTY: If the Union Township Board of Trustees can dedicate Election Day to honor “Mean Jean” Schmidt and declare New Year’s Eve as a tribute to Don White in Union Township, Our Good Friend Archie Wilson wonders when his day is coming. But how about Amanda Lay Day?
  • image015FOOLS IN SCHOOLS: Parents for Public Schools have taken three steps backwards by joining forces with the Cincinnati Federation of Teachers in hopes to improve the failed CPS system. For CFT “president” SellYourSoul, being clueless is still her only excuse.
  • image018LOONY LIBERTARIANS: While on last week’s trade mission to Costa Rica, Cincinnati Mayoral Candidate Jim Berns pledges not to become “Junketing Jim” at over-taxed payers’ expense after he’s elected. “Building jobs in Cincinnati is much more about working with Cincinnati businesses to get government off our backs than traveling to Sister Cities or receiving awards for doing things the City should not be doing in the first place,” Berns explained.
  • SOREHEADS IN THE SUBURBS: NoTaxJack had a lot to say about some of the issues before Wednesday night’s Clearcreek Township Trustees Meeting in Warren County. We can hardly wait to hear what actually happened.
  • REPUBLICANS FOR HIGHER TAXES applaud the selection of Kevin Hardman to replace 2008 Tax Hiker of the Year Virgil Lovitt as Sharonville Mayor. Even though they endorsed Janey Kattelman for this position, they believe Hardman’s past support for higher taxes and big government will make Sharonville from Obama’s Washington.
  • image019IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY: Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo wonders if Northern Kentucky University actually goes “tobacco free,” as the university’s Director of Wellness Karen Campbell is proposing, would that include removing all the brass spittoons from the classrooms?
  • ALSO FROM THE BLUEGRASS: Kentucky Rifle Association spokesman Billy Bob Carbine wonders when Kentucky Congressman Thomas Massie introduced his Citizens Protection Act of 2013 on Friday that would allow people to carry guns near schools, would that also include students and teachers?
  • FINALLY, at today’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Charles Foster Kane if our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher planned to do more socializing in 2013, since somebody said they saw him at a bribe lunch with an elected official at Uno’s on Tuesday. “It’s not so bad if you’re the bribee,” Kane explained.

Which is why our Quote for Today Committee chose British politician Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton’s “Every man has the price, I will bribe left and right.”


Seediest Kids of All

The Little Eric D Story

image021As long as we can remember, The Blower has been telling you about Little Eric D, a lonely little troubled farm lad who lived in seclusion with his family in rural Boondoggle County, Kentucky, abusing and tormenting his family’s farm animals in a pitiful subconscious cry for help. No Kidding!

Little Eric D. grew up in the shadow of his family’s favorite, First Cousin Joey. As infants at family event, it was clear Joey was always the favorite. Joey was the first to be changed, the first to be fed, and last to be corrected. Little Eric’s earliest memories are of staring through the bars of his playpen with his diaper overflowing, at the other children playing and having fun.

So as Little Eric got older, the Seediest Kids of All arranged for WLW Hate Radio to offer Little Eric a part-time job where he could promote himself in lieu of a salary. Noted ACLU Attorney Scott Greenwood, Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E Rob Sanders, and Judge Patricia Summe imparted valuable legal lessons, and Trash-Talking WLW Hate Radio Talk Show host Willie Cunningham even sold Little Eric a restaurant that would soon go out of business, all to help Little Eric achieve his lifelong dream as a WLW Hate Radio Enabled Trash-Talking Loudmouth Lawyer/ Restaurateur-Wannabe.

Unfortunately, to this day, Little Eric continues to find himself staring at everybody else having fun and never inviting him to play with them. Success for his First Cousin Joey has led to adulation and acclaim as a defender of society and civilization, but for Little Eric, growing up has meant only trying to defend the indefensible, leading to disdain among his peers and the public; sanctions, penalties, and threats of disbarment; failed political and restaurant ventures; as well as an extra large dose of the “Little Man Syndrome.”

Still, the entire Deters family is grateful to the Seediest Kids of All. But they really have you to thank, because it’s your guilt throughout the year which made it all possible.

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SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE

e-mail your stories about worthy waifs today.


More Proud Sponsors and Avid Fans

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Today’s edition is brought to you by a generous “in-kind” donation during our January fund-raising drive by the Masturbators Synonymous, for all that great publicity we continue to provide for their infamous members, like Kevin “Spanky” O’Brien.


OBANMACARE LAYOFFS HOT LINE

e-mail us your takes of woe today.

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Some really sad low information voter items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally sad low information voter subscribers.


Link of the Day

Doorbell

image028Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.


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