Saturday, August 25, 2012
So Where Are All Those Ohio Republican Supposed to Be Today?
In Columbus, Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says with only “73” more days until the 2012 Elections, a lot of Republicans are confused this morning.
The Romney Campaign is telling every Republican in Ohio to be at the Village Green Park Amphitheatre in Powell, Ohio (wherever in hell that is) for a large 8:30 AM victory rally with Mitt Romney, Paul Ryan, and the Ohio Republican Team (we’re not sure if Portman is included). Most people are waiting to see if Romney tells that “Birth Certificate Joke,” like he did in Michigan on Thursday.
Ohio RINO Party Boss Boob Bennett is telling people they should be home packing so they can join his large delegation of Ohioans to next week’s Republican National Convention in Tampa to nominate Mitt Romney as the GOP’s presidential candidate.
Gay conservative groups like Log Cabin Republicans and GOProud will be there too. They report the party platform is as gay as ever. No word which of this year’s star candidates will be honored.
The Anderson Tea Party says you should be attending that Ohio Voter Integrity Project “True the Vote” Ohio State Summit to ensure election integrity in Ohio featuring Ken Blackwell and Jon Husted at the same time in Worthington. But you might have to skedaddle early so you can get to the Ohio School Board Leadership Council in Lewis Center, Ohio by 1 PM.
Locally on Saturday, Citizens for Community Values Action are offering free movie tickets to see “2016,” if you do a little phone banking at their place, and they’re even The Hamilton County RINO Party says you should be picking up your Romney yard signs and bumper stickers at Romney Victory Centers in Kenwood, Westwood, and Colerain. Volunteers for Mike Wilson are expected to be going door-to-door in Glendale and passing out campaign literature at the Taste of Blue Ash. Meanwhile, Volunteers for Steve Chabothead, “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup, and Wayne Man Lippert have no idea where they’re supposed to be today, while supporters of Anderson Trustee Kevin O’Brien will be joining Whacky Jackie’s Illegitimate Son making deposits at the drive-thru window of the Anderson Sperm Bank.
Did Kevin’s enablers at the Forest Hills Urinal forget to mention that new drive thru business on the front page this week, along with not reporting that nice little old neighbor lady of Kevin’s who asked for the Disgraced Dis-Trustee’s resignation?
Also today, everybody’s still wondering why Obama is sending Vice President Buffoon Joe Biden to Tampa next week for the Republican Convention. Debra from Anderson says Greg Gutfeld’s theory in “The Five” on Fox News is Disingenuous DemocRATS told Biden that it’s the DemocRAT Convention in Tampa. That way, he won’t show up for his own party’s convention in Charlotte, thinking he’s already attended. Years ago, when G. Gordon Liddy had his radio talk show, he was never able to utter Joe Biden’s name without adding “a man with a brain the size of a walnut.”- Meanwhile, getting ready for the GOP Convention in Tampa, Revered Former Congressman Bob McEwen tells about two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch in Punta Gorda, doing nothing. One lady turns and asks, “Do you still get horny?” The other replies, “Oh sure I do.” The first old lady asks, “What do you do about it?” The second old lady replies, “I suck a lifesaver.” Then after a few moments, the first old lady asks, “Who drives you to the beach?”
- All the way from the Daily Mail in the UK, Toby Harnden says the 2012 Elections will feature “Low blows, lower turnouts, and low expectations.” That’s because four years after he was swept to victory, Obama’s sleazy re-election campaign has become a “joyless slog.” What a difference four years makes. Obama’s campaigning desperately for a second term, and he’s a candidate who would have undoubtedly been disdained by the Obama of 2008. [READ MORE HERE]
- And did you see where Obama referred to Navy SEALs commander as “General McRaven?” Only problem is William McRaven is an admiral, not a general. As a SEAL, he is member of the US Navy, not US Army or US Marines. And you wonder why Obama’s military and veterans’ support is so low, especially among “corpse-men.”
In a related item, Conservative Curmudgeon Stu Mahlin (along with another 111 Persons of Consequence) e-mailed us pictures of this billboard currently on display along I-35 in North Texas that says “The SEALS removed one threat to America. Remove the other in November.” Do you think it’s a recruiting campaign for the Navy Seals?- In today’s Racial Healing Update, our Compassionate Conservative wonders if now that UC’s former President Greg “I Was Born a Poor Black Child” Williams is not going to be around to protect him, we’ll now be hearing more about UC’s Affirmative Action Police Chief.
- And did our Feckless Fishwrappers really need two reporters to inform readers that Cincinnati Assistant Police Chief Richard Janke had been named director of security for the Horseshoe Casino? Persons of Consequence learned all about that news two weeks ago in The Blower’s August 11 e-dition.
- And Whistleblower Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall wonders if Hurley the Historian forgot that yesterday was the 23rd Anniversary of Pete Rose’s banishment from baseball. Judge Nick Nadel is still crying about that too. It’s been so long since Nadel’s had any publicity.
Hurley asked to be excused for the oversight, since he was waiting to see if Liberals would be remembering today’s date in 2009 (the day Teddy Kennedy became a Good DemocRAT) by celebrating the Beatification of Saint Teddy. It’s what all those dumbed-down, self-absorbed, media-influenced, celebrity-obsessed, politically-correct, uninformed short-attention-span Liberals live for. Fox News is even calling Saint Teddy the Senate’s “Liberal Lion.” The Blower, however, thinks it should be spelled “Lyin’.”
In Clermont County, everybody’s wondering how Whistleblower Faux Facebook Friend Pete Wenzel got that nice little write up by Jon Newberry at the Cincinnati Business Crapper. [READ THAT HERE] The Blower says we might even show Pete how to get some real publicity if he’d put an “I Built This Business Without Government Help” sign on his General Data international headquarters in Eastgate.
The Blower remembers our Patriotic Photo of the Day on August 19, 2009. That’s when Pete told the world what he thought about Obamacare.
Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken Camboo reports our Vanilla Hills Vigilante says residents will finally have a chance to get rid of their miscreant mayor after Mike Martin was accused of defying Kenton County Judge Patricia Summe’s orders not to destroy embarrassing information. A removal hearing is scheduled on September 5. [READ THAT STORY HERE] Several clowncil members have already asked Martin to resign, but the mayor has repeatedly told city leaders and 9 News that he won’t step down from office. Meanwhile, former Vanilla Hills Mayor Mike Sadouskas keeps asking himself how he ever lost to a guy like Martin in the first place.
If only “Crazy Eric” Deters still had his radio show, Martin could go on the air and take his case to the people.
- Finally, at yesterday’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane is planning to cover next week’s Republican Convention in Tampa. You bet! As the publication of record for all the political scrambling, speculation, mud-slinging, political skullduggery, and back-stabbing in the Tri-state, our readers know to expect nothing less.
That’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose Pulitzer Prize Winning Journalist Murray Kempton’s “A political convention is not a place where you can come away with any trace of faith in human nature.”
REMEMBER: If you can’t improve on the news, you shouldn’t even be reporting it.
CONSERVATIVE CONFUSION HOT LINE
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Some overbooked items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally overbooked subscribers, but we could always use more.
Link of the Day
Tampa Bay Gay Prostitutes Gearing Up For Flood Of Closeted Republicans
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