Daily Archives: August 8, 2012

Special “Bad News Bearers” E-dition

One of the best parts about publishing The Whistleblower Newswire is checking our e-mail first thing each morning to see some of those politically insightful items we’ve received from our equally politically insightful subscribers. Our readers’ comments are extremely helpful for our analysis and interpretation of today’s important top stories.

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

But None of Obama’s Mud is Sticking

  • Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus says Obama’s re-election campaign hasn’t been going so well lately. India is blaming Obama for the Sikh shooting massacre, the White House had to distance itself from Harry Reid’s lies, Romney keeps raising more money, the DNC is worried about all those empty seats at Obama’s convention, even with Jimmy Carter’s video address. Gasoline prices are going back up, and his support for gay marriage was publicly repudiated at Chick-Fil-A. 
  • Hurley the Historian says on this date in 1974 Republican President Richard Nixon resigned in disgrace, but since Obama has no shame and this Congress has no balls, the best we can do in 2012 is to wait for “89” more days and vote Obama out of office.

Not to worry, say our Obama Supporters in the Press. Their bogus polls show Obama’s going to be reelected by a landslide. No kidding.

Our Quote for Today Committee chose Nixon’s “Well, I am not a crook. I’ve earned everything I’ve got.” But The Blower says Obama’s “You didn’t build that” fits the situation, too.

  • In Columbus, Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says Romney’s upcoming bus trip will of course include Ohio as the Lamestream Press continues to speculate on Romney’s running mate, the same as they’ve been doing for the past six months. Keep on doing your dance, Portman. Does Romney know how to milk a story or what?
  • Now that Ohio voters will be able to decide on redistricting, did “Bronze Star Brad’s” campaign mangler really say too much at a cocktail party last week? At least it wasn’t something that should’ve been left in the closet.
  • Meanwhile now that “Mean Jean” Schmidt claims she plans to run for Congress again, our Bitch-in-a-Ditch continues to say she had nothing to do with that vile-and-disgusting YouTube Video asking if Brad Wenstrup has a secret, and neither did her former chief-of-staff Barry Bennett nor her former campaign mangler Joe “Mr. Know It All” Braun, when they all met to wish Joe a happy birthday on Monday
  • Another event The Fishwrap failed to cover was when Republican House Majority Leader Eric Cantor sneaked into town for a double-top-secret fundraiser on Monday at the Queen City Club.
  • How’s Cincinnati Police Chief Impersonator James Craig doing with his appeal to the Ohio Peace Officer Training Commission in Columbus? Award Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception captured Craig’s attorney David A. Pepper mentoring his client on some remedial reading skills, saying, “Look, Man, I signed my name to your appeal. Now we’ve got to teach you how to read and write.”
  • As the RINOs on Blue Ash City Clowncil prepare to vote Thursday night to help Cincinnati fund its streetcar, observers have caught the City of Blue Ash in another lie. Blue Ash Administration released a statement claiming that this vote is to “finalize the transaction” that occurred 5 years ago when Blue Ash bought the land around the Blue Ash airport from Cincinnati. However, a 2007 joint press release from Cincinnati and Blue Ash clearly reveals that the transaction was finalized then.

The headline to this August 2007 press release states: “Cincinnati and Blue Ash Finalize Sale of Airport Property.” The first sentence reads: “The Cities of Cincinnati and Blue Ash today officially closed on Blue Ash’s purchase of 130 acres of Cincinnati’s Blue Ash Airport property.” It further states: “Cincinnati Mayor Mark Mallory and Blue Ash Mayor Robert J. Buckman, Jr. officially closed the transaction…” Even someone of limited reading skills can clearly understand this to mean that the cities officially finalized the sale of this land in 2007. The only reason Blue Ash would agree to rip up and redo this transaction is to help fund Cincinnati’s Trolley Folly.

  • Republicans for Higher Taxes broke the story on the Blue Ash Boondogglers’ assisting the Cincinnati City Clown-cil with their beloved streetcar project. Commenters are starting to notice the Tea Party’s silence on such cronyism and corruption among Republicans In Name Only on Blue Ash City-Clowncil. Tea Partiers have been silent on Republican over-spending ever since Alex T cut a deal with the Tea Party Messiah to crown him State Rep-Tile with a re-drawn legislative seat handed to him on a silver platter.
  • Do people in the local Obama campaign really have a phone ap that shows if your neighbor is a DemocRAT? How much fun could The Blower have with one of those?
  • Women in Anderson wonder if there’s a phone ap to tell them if their Township Trustee will masturbate in their cars.
  • And would you look what’s going on in our Great White North? Do the Lebanon Schools have something to hide?
  • Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says those Northern Kentucky Tea Party Patriots came up with a good idea yesterday, when they asked if it would be OK for them to volunteer at some of those Romney Victory Centers in Ohio, since Discouraged DemocRATS won’t be campaigning in NoKY for the next three months. Maybe the Anderson Tea Party could invite their Kentucky Cousins to their big meeting Thursday night. Chick-Fil-A sandwiches, anyone?
  • Speaking of that Sodomy Rites Protest that laid a big egg last Friday, our Anderson Laureate says he overheard a limerick on at the gay day protest.

There once were two fairies from Rangoon
They took a lesbian up to their room.
But when they turned out the light
They argued all night
About who could do what and to whom.

  • Finally, at yesterday’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Charles Foster Kane about the way the Obama campaign has been digging up dirt on some of Romney’s VP Contenders like Rob “Fighting for Forgetfulness” Portman.

“Do you think those Dirt Digging Dems would be interested in The Robster’s first trip to Washington for his Patton Boggs and Blow job?” our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher asked.


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