Friday, August 24, 2012

Tampa’s DemocRAT Mayor Ready to Call It Off

• Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus says with only “74” more days until the 2012 Elections another distraction has been added to Obama’s list. Now guys at Storm Tracker will be giving us hourly hype updates on Hurricane Isaac, so we’ll know if the Republican National Convention has been postponed or cancelled in Tampa next week.

And if that doesn’t work, Obama and his Desperate DemocRATS also plan to do their damnedest to disrupt Mitt Romney’s coronation as the GOP nominee.

Presidential candidates have traditionally kept a low profile during their opponents’ nominating celebrations, what else would you expect from Obama’s nastiest campaign in history? Obama’s Bumbling Vice President Joe Biden will even be in Tampa for a gaffe-fest on Monday, and Michelle’s been scheduled for a friendly appearance on “David Letterman Show” smack dab in the middle of Romney’s nominating bash. Don’t be surprised if you see the Obama campaign running negative ads during the GOP Convention TV coverage.

• In Columbus, Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders reports Ohio RINO Party Boss Boob Bennett will be leading a large delegation of Ohioans to next week’s Republican National Convention, joining delegations from every state to support the Republican Party and nominate Governor Mitt Romney as the GOP’s presidential candidate.

Before leaving for Tampa, Mitt Romney, Paul Ryan, and the Ohio Republican Team will be appearing at a large victory rally at 8:30 Saturday morning at the Village Green Park Amphitheatre in Powell, Ohio (wherever in hell that is).

Revered Former Congressman Bob McEwen will be at the GOP Convention speaking to various delegations on why Conservative values win and RINO values lose, along with Energy Independence, zero capital gains, and pro-American foreign policy (which means not doing the heavy lifting for the Muslim Brotherhood).

• And did those “real reporters” at the Washington Post show a bit of their Liberal Bias when they had to apologize for claiming that picture was photo-shopped, just because it showed their smartest president in history looking really stupid when he tried to spell “O-h-i-o?” Evene Dan Quayle, as dumb as Kneepad Liberals in the Press tried to make him appear, got twice as many letters right when he tried to spell “potato.”
• Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says some cockamamie poll shows Obama up by six points in Ohio, with 50% for him and 44% for Romney. With leadership like this in the Republican Party, it would not be surprising.
• Hurley the Historian says on this date in 1814 the city of Washington, D.C. was defenseless as the British captured and burned our nation’s capital. The City is still defenseless today, with the Congressional approval rating around 12%. This is curious, because according to OpenSecrets.org, “few things in life are more predictable than the chances of an incumbent member of the U.S. House of Representatives winning reelection. With wide name recognition, and usually an insurmountable advantage in campaign cash, House incumbents typically have little trouble holding onto their seats.”
• Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose Hubert Humphrey’s: “We believe that to err is human. To blame it on someone else is politics.”
• Meanwhile in the First Congressional District, Looney Libertarian Jim Berns leads Incumbent Republican Congressman Steve Chabothead in a recent poll of likely voters. Voters were shown a photo of Berns and Chabot and asked which hair cut they preferred. Berns won by more than a ten to one margin.

Berns thanked Bill Stoecker, owner of Finneytown Barber Shop (who is part Native American), for such a nice cut and for not scalping him! Stoecker commented that he took over the barbershop when the previous owner went bankrupt. “Yes,” he said, “I did build this business!”

Berns said, “I am sending Chabot a gift certificate for a free hair cut at the Finneytown Barber Shop. I think such a nice hair cut gives me an unfair advantage over Chabot. I hope he uses the gift certificate soon!”

• Whistleblower Gossip Columnist Linda Libel says people all over town are wondering the real reason Greg Williams resigned as President of the University of Cincinnati earlier this week. Perhaps the Board of Trustees really thought he was not doing a good job, but that doesn’t explain their recent decision to give him a good-bye raise, unless the Board really wanted him out fast. Others are speculating it relates to the stadium-like deal he cut for developers related to the re-development of McMillian corridor. Either way, there must be more to the story.
• Readers in Clermont County are wondering why the Community Depress is calling it a “shake-up” over at the Clermont County Visitors and Convention Bureau. Everyone understands why the Clermont County Commissioners, led by Buffalo Dave Uible kicked out June Creager-Mason. After all, Creager-Mason was feeding her whole family on the fat payroll of the Bureau generated by the hotel tax in Clermont County. However, nobody understands how you can call it a “shake-up” when the Commissioners replaced the Bureau’s Board with known Tim Rudd Cronies like Linda Fraley and Chuck Tilbury. If anyone if going to continue to do the bidding of Rudd and his cronies like Creager-Mason, it’s certainly Fraley and her chief yes-man Tilbury. That’s like replacing bad with worse.
• Meanwhile in the Great White North, some people are wondering why the Monroe Schools want to sue their treasurer? The failed levy is back on the ballot in November, so hard-working over-taxed payers of Monroe must still be on guard.
• Down at the Hamilton County Courthouse, CH Snitch at 1000 Main Street says he’s still waiting to hear what happened at Thursday’s “Case Management Conference” on that property at 3118 Daytona Avenue in Westwood momentarily owned by “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup’s campaign mangler appointed by Alex T., Mall Cop GOP. [CHECK THAT CASE OUT HERE]
• In Anderson, Disgraced Dis-Trustee Kevin O’Brien wonders if the new Anderson Sperm Bank will have a drive thru window for night deposits, in case he can find a nice lady to drive him home some night.
• Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says according to the Courier Journal, a Louisville anesthesiologist has asked a Frankfort court to bar Obama from the November ballot. Dr. Todd House — who is running for president as a write-in candidate with his wife, Suzanne Dudgeon House as his vice presidential candidate — filed the lawsuit Aug. 10 claiming that Obama is not a “natural born” citizen, which is required of presidential candidates by the U.S. Constitution. Sounds like just another one of those unsuccessful “birther” lawsuits to us.
• Rick “The BatBoy” Robinson’s latest column is all about “The top 10 campaign-ending political gaffes in modern US history.” Curiously, we didn’t see Rick’s gaffe, that time Gex “Rhymes with Sex” Williams cleaned his clock in that congressional primary, and “BeanBall Jim” Bunning teid to console him.
• And is our Miss Vicki now Director of Communications at the College of Arts and Science at Miami University? Between Paul Ryan’s campaign rally and the drug busts at those fraternity houses, she’s certainly busy.
• Meanwhile, that Cabal still out to destroy “Crazy Eric” Deters was discussing Kenton Circuit Judge Patricia Summe’s ruling not to issue a gag order in the case of that former Cincinnati Ben-Gals cheerleader accused of having sex with a student when she taught at Dixie Heights High School. Everybody thought “Crazy Eric” would continue to pimp out his stupid clients on his even stupider radio show, where he’s already created a mountain of questions for the prosecutors to use at trial, and will doubtless endanger his clients even more. Now “Crazy Eric” says he “resigned” in a chain-of-command dispute with managers of Real Talk 1160, and says his offer to rescind the resignation this morning was ignored.

Then one of our Caballeros told the story about how Eric once got a job changing sheets in a whorehouse. One of Eric’s friends asked how much the job paid, and Eric replied “$20-a-week.” The guy’s friend said, “$20 didn’t sound like a lot,” and Eric explained, “But $20 is all I could afford.”

• Finally, at yesterday’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane the best way to tell the difference between Romney Supporters and Obama Supporters. “That’s easy,” Kane explained. “Romney supporters sign their checks on the front, and Obama supporters sign their checks on the back.”

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More Gaffes and Laughs

          This week, everybody who thinks the best reason to vote for Obama’s re-election would be to have Joe Biden a heartbeat away from the presidency, e-mailed an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.

The winner is noted Whistleblower Presidential (and in this case Vice Presidential Scholar) Dorian Grady, who says they’ll need a really big library to keep all of Biden’s gaffes in.

Dorian wins a chance on to win a free trip to next week’s Republican Convention in Tampa (for only $3), a set of Biden’s “chains” for his car in case it snows on Election Day, and “An Obama Countdown Clock” so he can count the days, hours, minutes, and seconds until Obama’s out of office.

How dumb can a vice president be?
Of this I am sure you’ll agree:
Here’s a good bet,
You’ve not seen him yet,
But Joe Biden’s as dumb as a tree.

Here’s one from our Mensa Mensch: How dumb can a vice president be?

Far worse than you ever can see.
Never any worse fail
Then J. Danforth Quayle
Is anyone dumber than he?

And from the Anderson Laureate (who’s probably not undecided about this year’s election):

How dumb can a vice president be?
Well, hmmm … let me think … maybe I’ll see.
Joe told blacks if Romney reigns
He’ll put them all back in chains,
And said Obamacare is a “big fucking deal” on TV.

When Obama as a candidate was first seen
Joe said he was the first African American who was “clean.”
(He added “articulate and bright”,
But he still wasn’t white)
He’s as smart as the screamer, Howard Dean.

But the one that would really curl your hair
Was what he said to Chuck Graham in a wheelchair
“Stand up, Chuck, let ’em see ya”
The guy was CRIPPLED, Mama mia!
I think this guy might need psychiatric care.

There’s more, but you get the jist
His gaffes would make quite a list
But the Messiah still picked him,
While you and I would have kicked him
The guy really deserves to be dissed.

Kidding aside, how do idiots like this get ahead
While the rest of us barely get our daily bread?
I wouldn’t trust this jerk with my dog
His brain must be in a fog
Common sense, like civility is just dead.

The first line of next week’s limerick is:
“When the Republicans have a Convention”

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HURRICANE HYPE LINE

E-mail your landfall latitudes today. 

Some weather hyping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally weather hyping subscribers. 

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Link of the Day

 Jay Leno Mocks Obama Controlling Media

     Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.

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