Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers

Our rallies are smaller than those massive multitudes you see for Romney and Ryan since we’re intentionally limiting our crowd size at our events because of security and costs. —Team Obama
That’s why we chose Obama campaign spokeswoman, Jen Psaki’s “We have plenty of time for big rallies.” —Your Quote for Today Committee
Our prayers have been answered: Team Obama is sending Biden back out on the campaign trail again this week. —Late Night Comedians on TV
Nice rack, Mom! —Paul Ryan
On this date in 1959 Hawaii became our 50th state, and Hawaiian birth certificates have become suspect ever since. —Hurley the Historian
We’ve got a Muslim president who hates farming, hates the military, hates the U.S., and we hate him!’ —Hank Williams Jr.
Did you see the latest poll results that said a majority of voters in key 2012 election swing states say they’re not better off than they were four years ago? —Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen
And has anybody noticed that the price of gasoline is setting a record as the summer draws to a close? —Gas Gougers
Hit the road, Barack. We need a new president. —Newsweek
The reason we’ve giving meaningless interviews to “People” magazine and “Entertainment Tonight” instead of members of the White House Press Corps is because that’s where all those dumbed-down, self-absorbed, media-influenced, politically-correct, celebrity-obsessed, uninformed, government-dependent, undecided voters get their news. —The Obama Campaign
With all those upcoming visits to Ohio from Obama and Biden during the next eleven weeks, how many Ohio communities will be wasting their time to request reimbursement for their extra expenses from the Obama Campaign? —Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders
This week we played the Race Card when Touré Nebblett accused Romney of subjecting Obama to “niggerization.” —Black Racists for Obama
What they really needed at last weekend’s Black Family Reunion was a “Who’s Your Daddy?” DNA truck offering free paternity tests. —Deadbeat Dads Association
While Republican Steve Chabothead and DemocRAT Jeff Sinnard spend all that money on campaign commercials, I was at McEvoy Park at the corner of Daly and North Bend Roads from 5pm till 7pm Monday night with free hotdogs, beans, and lemonade! —Looney Libertarian Jim Berns
Next week’s big speech at the GOP Convention in Tampa could be my big break in national politics, just like Obama who got his real start when he spoke at the DNC Convention in 2004. —Rob “Fighting for Face Time” Portman
Did my friends at The Fishwrap finally follow The Blower’s lead and report how I was included as #5 on that photo gallery of “Sexiest U.S Politicians?” — “Junketing Jean” Schmidt
Will this yard sign in front of my house in Greed Township be the only one in Hamilton County, since Demo-Labor Party Boss Tim Burka and Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T, Mall Cop GOP cut a backroom deal for Greg Hartmann and me to run unopposed for County Commissioner. —Odd Todd Opportune
Is The Blower done raking us over the coals for supporting Cincinnati Girly Mayor Mark Mallory’s Trolley Folly? —Blue Ash City Clowncil
We’re still checking to see what word(s) caused our porn-filters to reject The Blower on our computers. —Clermont County Libraries
Was that word “Masturbation?” —Disgraced Anderson Township Dis-Trustee Kevin “Spanky” O’Brien, whose attorney is still busy looking for ejaculatory evidence that could clear his client
It’s hard to believe there are only “76” more days until this year’s elections. —Greedy TV Ad Salesmen
Subscribers who log on to our marvelous music on the internet can also see and hear Obama’s lying commercials. —Pandora Radio
Thanks to our Subscribers for sending us pictures of interesting signs during this year’s campaign. —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo
Unlike in Ohio, I scheduled a special election to replace NoKY Congressman Goof Doofus on November 6, the same date as the general election, to save Kentucky Over-Taxed Payers as much as $500,000. —Governor Steve Beshear
That means we’ll be without a congressman for a while longer, not that many people will notice the difference. —Fourth District Residents
Will I be sucking up to the Tea Party Patriots when I show up on the Capitol steps in Frankfort for a protest of the Affordable Care Act during a rally organized by the Louisville Tea Party? —Bitch McConnell
Most new brooms just rearrange old dirt. —Bunky Tadwell’s Inspirational Thought for the Week
When a $7.5 million winning lottery ticket was sold in Northern Kentucky a day after state lottery officials announced a winning Powerball ticket was sold in the same area, some people said we should change our state motto to “Getting Lucky in Kentucky.” —Bluegrass Bettors
Trish the Dish wants to know if it’s now OK to criticize Obama since that Newsweek cover says “Obama’s Gotta Go.” —Channel 19 News
At Channel 5, Sheree Paolello asks if that means the press would now have to admit Obama’s been a failure. —Jack Atherton

— Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer —

Sometimes The Blower makes fun of political gaffes to show that sitting around and waiting for politicians to say something stupid is not acceptable in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t a political reporter during a campaign.

This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental, especially Obama’s Bumbling Vice President Joe Biden.

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Some Obama bashing items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally Obama bashing subscribers.

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Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.