Friday, August 17, 2012
Hillary says, “You Want Me To Do What?!”
Bumbling Joe Biden had lunch at the White House with Obama and Hillary on Thursday. No, that isn’t the first line for jokesters on every late night TV show, it really happened.
Do you think Obama mentioned any of Biden’s recent gaffes? Do you think reporters will ask if the subject of replacing Biden was discussed? After all, there are still 20 more days until that decision’s really final.
Maybe Obama was trying to teach his Caucasian Vice President how to get down with his Negro dialect the next time Biden plays the race card and tells black folks Romney and Ryan are going to “put Y’ALL back in chains.”
And did a waiter at lunch really overhead Hillary tell Obama, “You must me nucking futs?!”
With a local Culinary Update, Whistleblower Freebie Gourmet Martin UpChuck says Saturday, at the same time Republican Congressman Steve Chabot will be feasting with fat cats in a luxury suite at the Great American Ball Park and charging them $250 per person, Looney Libertarian Congressional Candidate Jim Berns will be feeding (for free!) up to 200 hungry people at the intersection of North Bend Road and Daly Road in College Hill. “It is unseemly for Chabot to put on the feed bag while many people in the First District are struggling to pay their rent and feed their families, Berns said. The Blower wonders why neither candidate plans to feed people for free at the Black Family Reunion at Sawyer Point and Yeatman’s Cove.- Speaking of feeding black people, if Michelle Obama chastised the 89-pound gold medal gymnast for eating an egg mc muffin (with 300 calories), what would she say about those fat mamas having “fried grits swimming in butter” at Mahogany we all read about in all that free publicity in The Fishwrap.
Besides Mexican and oriental restaurants, Beechmont Avenue is a hot bed for bargain shops. No Nordstrom’s for Average Andersonians. They’re getting an Ollie’s Bargain Outlet (where you can buy good stuff cheap) on August 29. Today’s Fishwrap ad featuring fashion duct tape, Joel Osteen’s best-selling books, the Gospel Vault and Story Book Bibles for $2.99, and hunting clothing. Get in line now. Savings will be up to 70%. There’s still no “masturbatorium” scheduled to open in Anderson, so Disgraced Township Dis-Trustee Kevin O’Brien will have to settle for ladies to give him a lift home in their cars.
Our Clermont Crusader dropped in at a Clermont library branch to look at his e-mails, but when he tried to log on to The Blower, it was blocked by the Library’s anti porn software. Do you think it was something we wrote?- Republicans for Higher Taxes blogged Part 2 of their series on Streetcar Supporter Sean Donovan. We wonder how many Republicans would vote against Donovan if they knew that he supports the streetcar while his fiscally conservative opponent doesn’t. While most Republicans abhor the streetcar, there are a few such as Donovan and the five Blue Ash City Clowncil members who have voted for it.
- Continuing our profiles of the Blue Ash City Clowncilmen who voted to help fund the Cincinnati streetcar, today we’ll feature Tom Adamec and Robert “Jack” Buckman. If you’ve ever had a dog that barks, sits, and rolls over on command, and does little else, then you know Adamec and Buckman pretty well. Adamec and Buckman are the two dumbest members of Council, so it’s fitting we’ll profile them on the same day.
Jack Buckman first joined Clowncil in 2000, and 12 years later still has no idea what he’s doing. He believes that Clowncil’s role is to do what the City Manager orders, oblivious to the fact that Clowncil is the City Manager’s boss. If there is anything Buckman is passionate about without prompting, it’s raising taxes. He supported the big Hamilton County $777 million sales tax increase in 2007, Blue Ash’s 25% earnings tax hike, and Hamilton County’s hotel/motel tax hike. With Buckman’s vote for Cincinnati’s streetcar, Buckman’s passion for big government shows no signs of slowing down in his old age.
Then there’s the prototype yes-man, Tom Adamec. Adamec was appointed to Clowncil in a highly controversial (read: fixed) process in which his primary qualification was being the husband of super-spending Sycamore School Board Member Diane Adamec. Tom and Diane have been “retired” for many years, which we think explains why they seem to have an unlimited amount of time to promote their various tax increases as well as themselves. When the other members of Clowncil aren’t telling Tom what to do, you can bet his wife is. Tom thinks he has a future in politics beyond Blue Ash, but with his vote for the streetcar coupled with a near-total lack of respect by others in the political process, that’s highly unlikely.
- Hurley the Historian says on this date in 1877, Billy the Kid wounded an Arizona blacksmith who died the next day. He was the famous outlaw’s first victim. If that happened today, Obama Supporters in the Press would ignore the story completely, especially if Billy was a gay activist who didn’t like the blacksmith’s politics.
In Northern Kentucky, Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says everybody’s thinks Bumbling Joe Biden was playing the Race Card when he told black folks Romney and Ryan were going to “put Y’ALL back in chains.” The way Biden said “Y’ALL” was particularly offense. Meanwhile, Racial Racketeer Jesse Jackson says they better take out the part about Gay Darkies when they sign “My Old Kentucky Home” at next year’s Kentucky Derby, and the sign on the Water Tower in Florence will have to be changed immediately.- Also in Northern Kentucky, Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters put out another press release about the same story, that hasn’t been news since June, and, even though the press just gave Crazy Eric an unearned soapbox to blabber from on Monday, lazy reporters from TV and The Fishwrap bit hook-line-and-sinker once again. The Crazy One now claims an Elsmere Police officer shot Eric’s drinking-and-driving client in the back after the client tried to run over the officer. There’s just one problem with Eric’s statement, says Billy Bob the Bluegrass Bailiff. Crazy’s lawsuit that was just filed Monday says the officer shot his client in the chest. Crazy’s suit also says the official death certificate lists the cause of death as a gunshot to the chest. Billy Bob says all attorneys have to certify that the statements made in their lawsuits are true, and not frivolous, which has always been a challenge for Crazy Eric. This means Eric filed the suit claiming his client was shot in the chest, but he now says his client was shot in the back. The dead guy is already buried. Didn’t anyone bother to look and see where the bullet hole was?! And why hasn’t the mainstream media bothered to ask Eric about this tiny discrepancy? Are they too lazy or just too stupid to notice?! So which is it, Eric? Did you falsely certify a federal lawsuit or did you just lie to the press because your case was no good if your client was shot in the chest?! Are members of the Bluegrass Bar Association watching any of this? Bluegrass bookies taking bets on how much Eric will be sanctioned for this one are adjusting the official lines at press time to account for Crazy Eric’s latest ethical lapse!
Finally, with only “80” more days until the 2012 Presidential Election, at today’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about some of the problems the Obama Campaign has been having with its advance work lately. The co-owner of the Village Corner Deli in Iowa agreed to cater Obama’s visit Wednesday, but only after putting on his Romney T-Shirt that said “Government didn’t build my business. I did.” Then there was the owner of that “Crumb and Get It” bakery in Virginia who just said “No” to a request from Joe Biden’s entourage to stop in the store because he doesn’t agree with the Obama administration’s policies.
“That sort of thing never happened when we were doing advance work for Ronald Reagan during the 1980 campaign.” Kane explained. “The only campaign planning as bad as that you might see around here these days would be at an event put on by “Bronze Star Brad’s” Campaign and the Hamilton County RINO Party.”
Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose P.T. Barnum’s “Every crowd has a silver lining.”
Stories We’re Working On
Obama says “I don’t think anyone would suggest I’ve tried to divide the country”- Romney and Ryan Mock Obama and Biden
- White House Admits Obama Ate Dog Meat
- Biden’s Buffoonery a Distraction from Obama’s “Campaign of Distractions”
- Portman says “I’ll be ready in case Paul Ryan changes his mind”
- Goof Doofus is still resigned
- Obama says, “Give me four more years!”
Whistleblower Web Poll
This week, here’s why the first 17,648 Whistleblower Readers Poll respondents said Obama’s Bumbling Vice President Joe Biden played the race card when he told black folks Romney and Ryan were going to “put Y’ALL back in chains.”:
(A) Trying out new material for Romney Attack Ads: 2%
(B) Needed to come up with a new “Gaffe of the Day”: 1%
(C) Obama Supporters in the Press said they wouldn’t make a big deal out of it: 1%
(D) The NAALCP said it’s OK since Obama told him to do it: 96%
Note: Everything we write doesn’t have to be so damn cynical and mean-spirited, it’s just so much more fun that way!
You Can’t Handle the Truth
This week, everybody who wonders if somebody in the Obama Campaign will accidentally tell the truth during the next 80 days, e-mailed an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.
The winner is well known lie detector, Pinocchio Tadwell, who explains the reason elected officials never have to worry about telling the truth during political campaigns is because they haven’t been sworn in. If a man answered every question with the threat of perjury hanging over his head, you might not hear so many bald-faced lies during political campaigns.
Pinocchio wins a Bill Clinton “I did Not Have Sex With That Woman” Poster, a George Bush “Read My Lips, No New Taxes” T-Shirt, and a list of 1001 Lies Obama’s told since being elected, to use when he calls up right-wing radio talk shows. His winning limerick is:
How many more lies will Obama tell
As he tries to drive the U.S. straight to Hell
Marx’s lies he keeps plying
And the Liberals keep buying
While the Media’s legs throb and pants swell
And from the Anderson Laureate (who’s still not successfully completed his racial sensitivity correspondence course),
How many more lies will Obama tell?
How long will Satan be living in hell?
Hey, just do the math:
The man is a sociopath
And he’s got nothing but BS to sell.
He’s as pompous as anyone I’ve known
And he’s a socialist clear to the bone
Please God in November
Let’s hope people remember
The last four years have caused us to moan.
The first line of next week’s limerick is:
“How dumb can a vice president be?”
BIDEN BUFFOONERY HOT LINE
E-mail your greatest gaffes today.
Some Biden Bashing items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally Biden Bashing subscribers.
Link of the Day
Anger and Division
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