Special “Political Theater” E-dition

Thursday, July 12, 2012

More Comedies and Tragedies

  • Yesterday, The Blower predicted the Romney campaign would begin to push back against Obama’s untrue accusations that the Republican Presidential Candidate was an “outsourcing pioneer.” You just can’t let a lie stand, or people are going to believe it. Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose C.H. Spurgeon’s “A lie is halfway round the world before the truth has got its boots on.” Sure enough, Romney finally referred to Obama as America’s “Outsourcer-in-Chief.” We’re still waiting for a Romney spokesman to call Obama a ‘no good lying bastard’ on TV.”
  • And how’d Romney do when he spoke to the National Association for the Advancement of Liberal Colored People Convention on Wednesday? Before Romney even got there, Liberals had produced a video “satire” claiming blacks don’t like Romney, because he’s so white he makes “Wonder Bread look like pumpernickel.” The NAALCP Chief Benjamin Jealous told his followers Voter ID Laws were racist, although the convention required photo IDs to see Obama’s Arrogant Attorney General Eric Holder speak about his efforts to stop Voter ID laws on Tuesday. No wonder Romney was booed for even daring to mention such a derogatory word as “ObamaCare.” Maybe Romney should’ve mentioned Obama’s black teenage unemployment rate when he said Obama has made it worse for black people “in almost every way.”
  • At least Romney didn’t call Lincoln his “Homeboy from Illinois,” like Obama shamefully did. Edward Cropper has a comment on that.

  • Tuesday night’s Republican-Tea Party rally with Utah Senator Mike Lee for Ohio U.S. Senate candidate Josh Mandel was better for some people than others. First, the meeting was scheduled to begin at 7:30 p.m., but the poorly organized event didn’t allow people into the meeting room until 8:30 p.m.

While attendees were left standing out in the vestibule for over an hour, waiters passed by them bearing trays of food for the dignitaries gathered in a private room, but no food for the waiting attendees. Once inside, the meeting room quickly became overcrowded, with not enough chairs, and it was really hot.

The room capacity could have been greatly expanded by opening the sliding wall at the back of the room, but Sharonville Mayor Virg “The Scourge” Lovitt chose not to do that. Canned music continued to play in competition with the first speaker.

In a room of 300 people, Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Chairman Alex TryinToFoolYou was met with applause by maybe twenty of them. And when Chairman Alex asked if people followed the party’s site on Facebook, even fewer people reacted. If Alex would try communicating with activists, instead of expecting those people to live on Facebook 24/7 waiting for the Emperor to grace them with his e-statements, he might have a better relationship with Real Republicans.

Another reason the event went on so long was because the opening prayer, typically a short and solemn section of an event, took up an inordinate amount of time. For some reason Alex picked Tracy Winkler to deliver the prayer, since she’s the model of Christian virtue. Instead of just giving the prayer and then sitting her worthless ass down, she proceeded to babble on about who-knows-what, prompting one audience member to ask, “When is she going to get to the prayer portion of this prayer?”

Hurley the Historian says on this date in 1984, DemocRAT Presidential Candidate Walter Mondale named Geraldine Ferraro as his vice-presidential running mate, and women in politics have been an embarrassment ever since.

Perhaps the worst speaker was the streetcar supporter Sean Donovan. His long-winded remarks said nothing more than he should be elected Sheriff because he’s a Republican and his opponent isn’t. Not a word about what he would do as Sheriff to improve the office. Hamilton County needs a Sheriff who will fix the office after years of mismanagement from Donovan and Senile Si.

Fortunately the event was somewhat saved by main speakers Josh Mandel and Senator Mike Lee. Except for these two candidates for national office, our local yokels would’ve been better off staying home to watch the All Star Game on TV, especially our Reds so-called All Stars Joey Votto and Jay Bruce who went hitless, each leaving two men on base, and Aroldis Chapman, who went an entire third of an inning, striking out one batter and walking another.

  • Down at the City Hall Circus, Girly Mayor Mark Mallory is still having a hissy fit over Steve Chabothead’s successful amendment to bar federal Trolley Folly funding. Mallory claims he’s now using his “contacts in Washington” to get that wasteful spending back on track. So who’s he going to call—Eric Holder? Bwarney Fwrank? Or maybe the Black Caucus can denounce Chabothead a racist. Our Feckless Fishwrappers would put that on the front page.
  • Our Compassionate Conservative says isn’t it ironic that Cincinnati’s new sister city is MYSORE, India? Mysore, meet EYESORE, Ohio. Garbage along I-71, and dumpsters at the City’s Kellogg soccer field piled high with couches and mattresses. I guess our eyesores are better than living in India anytime. So how many times can the mayor take a free trip to India before his term is up? Couldn’t we pick a better city than one in India?
  • Republicans for Higher Taxes report that a local School Board Member was arrested for serving alcohol to at least 20 children at a party. Believe it or not, it wasn’t Wyoming School Board Party Mom Lynn Larson.
  • Even though Nick Vehr’s Olympic wet-dream for Cincinnati never materialized, he definitely is making his mark with the World Choir Games, At least this is what they may put on his tombstone : “He’d like to see the whole world sing in perfect harmony!”
  • In Columbus, Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says Ohio DemocRATS can’t stop whining about how much special interest money is being spent to attack Disingenuous DemocRAT U.S. Senator Sherrod Brown. The Blower says with only “116” more days until the 2012 Elections. it can never be too much.
  • Amused Andersonians wonder if Disgraced Anderson Township Trustee Kevin O’Brien was really the featured speaker at last night’s Masturbators Anonymous Meeting at the Government Center. Phil Burr-ass said he saw him there.
  • Meanwhile in Kentucky, Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo has finally figured out what all those loser politicians in Northern Kentucky are doing these days— they’re all writing books. Ever since Rick Robinson got his clock cleaned by Gex “Rhymes With Sex” Williams in a GOP Congressional primary before the turn of century, “BeanBall Jim” Bunning’s “Batboy” has been churning our erotic political novels. After his undistinguished career as Kenton County GOP Chairman, Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters wrote books that couldn’t stop sucking up to WLW Hate Radio Trash Talker Bill Cunningham. And now our DemocRAT Dominatrix Kathy Groob, who founded has “Elect Women” magazine following her political career, has now written “Pink Politics, the Woman’s Practical Guide to Winning Elections.” Another Bluegrass Publisher Larry Flynt says, “No fair, I called ‘pink’ first.”

Maybe that’s why the CamBoozler keeps saying one of these days he and Whistleblower Gossip Columnist Linda Libel are going to write a book about all those things about Bluegrass Boobs the Whistleblower Legal Dream Team wouldn’t let them print up till now.

  • Finally, at yesterday’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane how long it would be before Channel 5 reached an agreement with Warner Cable, since folks hereabouts now get to watch the local news from Channel 2 in Terra Haute, Indiana (wherever in hell that is) instead of Channel 5’s Local News. “It probably won’t be too long,” Kane predicted. “Think of all that money the station is losing every day by not running all those lying Obama attack ads.”

More Proud Sponsors and Avid Fans

Today’s edition is brought to you by a generous “in-kind” donation during our July fund-raising drive from Masturbators Anonymous, where last night Anderson Trustee Kevin O’Brien introduced himself by saying, “Hello, I’m Kevin O’Brien and I’m a Masturbator.”


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Barack Obama, Outsourcer-in-Chief

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