Special “Flimsy Excuses” E-dition

Friday, March 16, 2012

Top Ten List

Today it’s the Top Ten Excuses Cincinnati Girly Mayor’s Deadbeat Cousin Liz Rogers plans to use at that Butler County court hearing today for not paying all that money she promised while negotiating a million dollar grant from the over-taxed payers to open at sure-to-fail Soul Food Bistro at the Banks:

10. I forgot
9. The dog ate it
8. She told me she loved me
7. I did it to help the homeless
6. The Devil made me do it
5. I just wanted to be loved–is there anything wrong with that?
4. I’m one of The Fishwrap’s 20 Women to Watch in 2012
3. I was framed
2. This whole thing is just one big terrible mistake

…and the Number One Reason Cincinnati Girly Mayor’s deadbeat cousin Liz Rogers plans to use at that Butler County court hearing today for not paying all that money she promised while negotiating a million dollar grant from the over-taxed payers to open at sure-to-fail Soul Food Bistro at the Banks is… Mallory, his Kentucky butt boy Dough Boy Honey, and the majority of the Extreme Liberal City Clown-cil said nobody would ever find out.


 The Cincinnati City Mess

  • The Fishwrap’s timing, as usual, is really off.  On February 12, 2012, The Fishwrap named deadbeat Elizabeth A. Rogers, co-owner with her equally deadbeat husband, of Mahogany Restaurant, as a Woman to Watch: 2012.  A day later, Rogers’ multitude of debts and encounters with the court systems in at least two counties, became news of a different sort.

Obviously The Fishwrap doesn’t do any kind of background or information research, instead choosing merely to parrot the words of Cincinnati mayor Mark Mallory, bloviating about her “divine peach cobbler.”  She’s a Woman to Watch because she makes cobbler?  Now The Fishwrap is being defensive about Rogers being in the Butler County jail this past Tuesday.  And they’ve yet to reveal Liz Rogers is Mallory’s cousin.

You can be sure The Blower will continue to watch Liz Rogers in 2012 and the other 19 ladies on The Fishwrap’s list, too.

  • On another Cincinnati note, we hear the useless Cincinnati police chief, the test evader James Craig, had a police spokesperson call the State of Ohio, relaying Craig’s anger that the state released the fact he requested a hearing to avoid taking the police qualification test. Maybe Craig has never heard of Ohio’s Sunshine Law.  The State of Ohio doesn’t care at all about Craig’s anger.  It means nothing to them. Maybe Craig should see a physician about his sore testicle instead of pestering State officials—or better still, just take the freakin’ test already.
  • Meanwhile, the City of Cincinnati has hired Odis Jones as the city’s new director of economic development, and our Compassionate Conservative wants to know when was the last time Dough Boy hired anyone who wasn’t black or could spell his own first name?   

And in a Related Story…

          Tino Delgato says it’s a shame Award Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception is on Spring Break, or else Tino’s sure this picture of Mallory, Dough Boy Honey, and Cincinnati’s Uncertified Police Chief who’s impersonating a real police officer by illegally wearing a police uniform would’ve looked like a picture of the Three Stooges.


More DemocRAT Disgraces

  • Noted Florida Political Columnist Manatee Tadwell says tempers are still flaring over a version of the American flag flying at DemocRAT Headquarters in Lake County. This US style Flag with Obama’s face on it has only been available on line since 2008, and Disgraceful DemocRATS say now with only “234” more days until the November Elections, those veterans who complained about the DemocRAT Party’s Obama Flag were all racists.
  • Meanwhile, Obsessive Obama Supporters Tom and Rose, who’ve been flying their Obama Flag ever since they sponsored that Inauguration fund-raiser at the Camargo Country Club (for which they are still waiting to be reimbursed), say the Obama re-election Campaigners at the White House are spam-gramming their e-mail list asking for more money, because “If the general election were held today, President Obama would lose to Mitt Romney — according to the latest poll from Washington Post-ABC News.” You mean Obama’s “Billion Dollar Re-election Campaign” won’t be big enough?
  • Hurley the Historian says on this date in 1968, the My Lai massacre took place in Vietnam, and WLW Hate Radio Draft Dodger Bill Cunningham says he remembers it was a really big deal, because heard about it all the way up in Saskatchewan.
  • Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says ground was officially broken on DHL’s $47 million expansion of at Cincinnati/Northern Kentucky International Airport Wednesday morning. Everybody who anybody showed up for the photo-op— Kentucky Governor Steve BeShear, Cincinnati’s Girly Mayor Mark Mallory, and even That Lame-Duck Corrupt Evicted Lying Plagiarizing Meddling Overblown Bought-and-paid-For Tax-and-Spend Wrinkle-Puss RINO Bitch-in-a-Ditch “Mean Jean” Schmidt.
  • Meanwhile, we didn’t see any a single word from “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup’s Campaign Press Office about how important those 280 new jobs were to the region. Maybe they’re still reading the next Ohio Second Congressional District Congressman’s press clippings about his big surprise win on Election Day, ten days ago.

 The Blower thinks these people need to get their overpaid asses in gear, particularly since rumors are swirling that a DemocRAT National Committee Dirt Digging Operation has uncovered some interesting mud to sling about “Bronze Star Brad.” Wouldn’t it be funny of the DNC convinced no-namer William Smith to step aside for a better known candidate with a trust fund? Hang in there, William!


Republican Revulsion

  • The Blue Ash RINO Club held its monthly meeting Wednesday night, at which the few present wondered why the club has seen a steep drop in attendance.  This meeting was actually a decent one, which focused on Commissioner Chris Monzel’s work to prevent the city of Cincinnati from forcing MSD ratepayers to subsidize the streetcar, stop a property tax increase to fund the stadiums, and prevent county tax dollars from being used to subsidize Cincinnati’s buildings such as their Union Terminal.  Not in attendance was most of Blue Ash City Council, who most likely didn’t want to hear from an elected official who is fiscally conservative and actually puts in a little effort at his job. 

Among the missing was Blue Ash Mayor Mark Weber.  It was reported yesterday by Republicans for Higher Taxes that Mayor Weber’s son was recently arrested, which hardly makes him the first in that family to face legal issues.

  • Yesterday 10 of the 11 members of the Tax Levy Review Committee (TLRC), a county official, and three members of the public took an official tour of The Union Terminal building as part of TLRC’s midpoint review of the current operating levy for the Cincinnati Museum Center (CMC).  This tour lasted three hours, in part due to the Museum’s 45 minute campaign speech encouraging support for the CMC’s capital request for a $250+ million property tax increase to renovate the building, even though that capital levy request is a separate issue from the current midpoint levy review.  Thankfully, the opponent of that capital request, one of the members of the public in attendance, politely stayed quiet throughout that speech or it could have been a 14 hour tour. 
  • In Clermont County, Crony-in-Chief Tim Rudd has tried to silence all of his critics, but one seems to have survived. Whistleblower Faux Facebook Fred Eric Kelso has been promoting the GOP Rogue Report, which exposes some of the back door deals Rudd has promoted. Keep at it, Kelso!
  • Andersonians were astonished this week to learn that Kevin O’Brien’s enablers at the totally discredited Forest Hills Urinal were continuing to cover up for the Disgraced Trustee. Lisa Wakeland reported Kevin’s account of the so-called settlement of his former employer Robert W. Baird and Co.’s lawsuit, seeking repayment of a paltry $336,175 the company paid to just one of Kevin’s former clients who committed suicide.  So why are the details being kept secret? Surely the public has a right to know.
  • Tomorrow is officially St. Patrick’s Day in Greater Cincinnati. That’s when people of Irish descent have too much to drink, or as former Cincinnati Mayor Quisling Charlie Luken calls it, “Thursday.” Harry the Herpetologist says if only Saint Patrick were alive today, he would have stopped to work his magic at the White House, Congress, your State House, every city hall and courthouse in the tri-state. Local NAALCP President Chris Smithermouth demands to know why weren’t there more Black Irish people marching in last weekend’s St. Patrick’s Day Parade? Horny Hibernians say the best part of the St. Patrick’s Day Parade was seeing Erin Go Bra-less. Dainty DemocRAT Mayor Mark Mallory says, “You should see Scotty’s shillelagh.Redneck Republicans say the biggest difference between Black History Month and St. Patrick’s Day, is on St. Patrick’s Day everybody wants to be Irish. Judge Mike Barrett (still keeping everything well in hand) says The Blower forgot to mention that Palm Sunday has always been his favorite holiday.
  • Finally— at yesterday’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane showed Political Insiders The Blower’s latest silly video, released just in time for Saint Patrick’s Day. This video, however, paid for by The Committee to Elect Persons of Consequence, was not up to the usually high standards of the Production Crew at CFK-TV on Anderson Community Cable.

Bluegrass Basketball

  • Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says there was no news in the Commonwealth on Thursday, because everybody talked about nothing other than the 2012 NCAA South Region Tournament’s that began Thursday night with the No. 1 Kentucky Wildcats taking on the No. 16 Western Kentucky Hilltoppers, the only team with a losing record in this year’s contest. UK was only favored by 427 points in that game.

Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose Charles Barkley’s “The only difference between a good shot and a bad shot is if it goes in or not.”


Stories We’re Working On

  •  Karzai wants U.S. troops out of villages…
  •  U.S. moves massacre soldier to Kuwait
  •  Thousands protest, chant anti-American slogans
  •  Taliban suspends peace talks with US
  •  Marines disarmed for Panetta at Camp Leatherneck
  •  Obama Fills Out NCAA Basketball Bracket
  •  BB&BJ Day in Fort Mitchell on March 20

 Whistleblower Web Poll           

          This week, here’s how the first 17,648 Whistleblower Web Poll respondents said most Irish guys would like to be celebrating St. Patrick’s Day yesterday:

(A) Drinking and carousing: 2%
(B) Watching that stupid parade: 1%
(C) Painting their peckers green: 1%
(D) Watching Erin Go Braless: 96%

Note: Everything we write doesn’t have to be so damn cynical and mean-spirited, it’s just so much more fun that way!


What Saith, Soothsayer?

            This week, everybody who attended the Whistleblower’s big “Political Backstabbers Day” celebration on the “Ides of March” to commemorate the date Julius Caesar got stabbed 137 times in the back at a toga party, e-mailed an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.

            The winner is our Anonymous Backstabber at the courthouse, who says “It’s always more fun stabbing somebody in the back when they don’t know who you are.”  

            Anonymous wins rear-view glasses so he can watch his own back, a K-tel knife sharpener, and his immediate induction into the Backstabbing Politicians Hall of Fame. His winning limerick is: 

Celebrating Political Backstabbing Day.”
After the voters have all had their say.
To all their chagrin
Whoever gets in
The bronze gods will have feet of clay.

And from the Anderson Laureate (who always says, (After you.”):

Celebrating Political Backstabbing Day
How does anyone know what to say?
Mitt, Newt and Rick
Call each other a …. dick
And Obama is betting he’ll stay.

Celebrating Political Backstabbing Day
Each candidate wishing the other would go away
Mitt doesn’t like Rick or Newt
And Ron Paul just doesn’t give a hoot
But if we don’t beat Obama, we will all pay.

Celebrating Political Backstabbing Day
Netanyahu heard Mr. Obama say
That in case of attack,
He had Benjamin’s back,
But if were Netanyahu, I’d bomb Iran without delay.

The first line of next week’s limerick is:
“At last, it’s BB&BJ Day” 


FLIMSY EXCUSES HOT LINE

e-mail your ridiculous reasons today.

Some jaundice justifications in today’s Blower were sent in by our jaundice justifying subscribers, but we could always use more.


Link of the Day

     Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.


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