WEDNESDAY, JUNE 17, 2020
TRUMP’S 1244th DAY IN OFFICE
AND ACCORDING TO CHANNEL 9’S “SUBSTANTIALLY TRUE” NEWS’ COURTNEY FRANCISCO, BETHEL’S WHITE GUILT LADEN BLACK LIVES REALLY REALLY MATTER SUPPORTERS PUT THEIR FUTURE PROTEST ON HOLD.
At today’s virtual meeting of the Conservative Agenda, political insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about the Battle For Seattle, where Black Lives Matter thugs and ANTIFA anarchists have seceded from America and formed their own Shithole Country smack dab in the middle of Seattle, Washington. Every day, that Dumb-Ass D-RAT Lady Mayor caves in a little more, and the revolting revolutionaries will soon control the entire 83.78 square miles within the city’s chaotic confines.
Gunslinger 338 then told the group how he would handle the situation in Seattle:
1. Set up a perimeter around their so-called border, complete with concertina wire, armed border patrol agents, and checkpoints. At these CHECKPOINTS, post huge signs saying, “You are now entering the United States of America. Please have passports and travel papers ready.” Deny them entry into the U.S.
2. CUT OFF their electricity, water, food, and sewer systems. Since they claim to be autonomous, they must supply their own infrastructure. If they wish to use American infrastructure, they must pay for it — at international rates.
3. Place TARIFFS on any goods or foodstuffs they wish to IMPORT into their autonomous zone, same as you would with any other country.
4. Cut off their access to WI-FI and CELL SERVICE. Since they are autonomous, they must establish their own corporations to provide these services. If they wish to use American internet and phone services, they must pay — at international rates.
5. If they wish to return to the United States, they must APPLY for IMMIGRATION, just like any other foreigner would. If they sneak into the country, put them into detention centers, then deport them back to CHAZ, or CHOP, or whatever the hell the name is at that point.
6. Then we can all sit back and laugh when the dumbed down doofuses start realizing the real world isn’t like playing Sims in Mommy’s basement .“And if that’s too much work,” our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher added,
“We could just send in the SKUNK.”