Encore “Whistleblower Limerick” E-dition

Trump’s 962nd Day In Office

The “First Line” Of A Classic Old  Weekly Whistleblower Limerick Contest was “In Anderson, Our Disgraceful Trustee,” where Beloved Former Trustee-in-Charge “In Russ We Trust” Jackson had invited residents to read their limericks at that Thursday night’s Monthly Trustees Meeting at the Anderson Government Center, which was televised live on Anderson Community TV. 

Stop Him Before He Masturbates in Your Car

image021This week, everybody who was planning to read his limerick live on Anderson Community TV about Masturbating Anderson Township Trustee Kevin O’Brien at Thursday’s Trustees Meeting, e-mailed entries to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.

The winner is was a young fellow named Merkin, who was always jerkin his gherkin. His father said Merkin, stop jerkin your gherkin, your gherkins fer ferkin not jerkin.

Merkin wins an “I Rather Be Masturbating” bumper sticker, a garage full of old porn magazines from Phil Burr-Ass (with all of the pages unstuck), and an opportunity to sign petitions being circulated by Women’s Groups in Anderson asking Hamilton County’s New Sheriff Jim Neil’s Deputies to conduct a “Penis Lineup,” so the proper charge might be filed against Old Spanky. His winning limerick was:

In Anderson, our Disgraceful Trustee
Had something that he thought she must see
But within her car
He went much too far
And left it out so long it got rusty.

Here’s a dishonorable mention from Kevin’s fellow Trustee “In Russ We Trust” Jackson
In Anderson, our Disgraceful Trustee,
Was a man who was once full of glee.
It was all so much fun,
With a client’s fees he had run
That he just had to whip out his little wee wee.

Here’s one by Anderson TEA Party Patriot Andy Pappas

In Anderson, our disgraceful trustee
Though he whacked off, he got off scot-free
I guess it’s all right
If you do it at night
And you’re in your driveway and no one can see.

But still it makes us all wonder
How could he make such a blunder
If you’re caught pulling your pud
You can bet your name will be mud
And your career would end up six feet under.

But for some reason, Kevin escaped
(Maybe he claimed he was raped)
Don’t you love politicians
They get off like magicians
Ooh, I wish his escapade had been taped.

Here’s that seven line limerick the judges are still talking about.
In Anderson, our Disgraceful Trustee,
Wins the “Corrupt Public Official” Suburban Grand Prix.
“Whacky Jackie’s” son has the family expertise:
“Whacking” and “jacking” and all kinds of sleaze.
While The Urinal may ignore Spanky pulling his pud
The Blower will continue exposing this dud
‘Cause our job is to stroke the truth, not our pee-pee.

And from the Anderson Laureate (who says, “Can you believe this guy’s still a trustee?”)

In Anderson, our Disgraceful Trustee,
To all his critics, he simply says, “Gee!”
“I just pulled out my wienie
So fragile and teeny,
Gosh, I was only trying to take a pee!”

But his lady friend says that’s a bunch of crap
He’s just trying to beat the latest rap
He was strokin’ and strokin’
So fast it was smokin’
And he wanted her to sit on his lap.

She told the creep to back off,
In her car he wasn’t permitted to jack off.
Though he wanted her to eat it,
She just told him to beat it
And by gosh, he never did slack off!

Our misbehaving, horny trustee
Grabbed his schwantz and put his hand on her knee
But while in her car,
He went just a wee bit too far
Guess he’s been watching too much porno TV.


The First Line of Friday’s Weekly Limerick Is:
It’s about eight more weeks till elections


The first line of Friday’s Regularly Scheduled limerick is:
It’s about eight more weeks till electionsimage017

        Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found hereimage007

image008Note: people who work in government offices should be receiving The Whistleblower-Newswire on their home computers because we do not approve of public servants wasting time reading this trash on over-taxed payers’ time (except when you have something to snitch).image017 image018