Your Official Publication of Record For The Conservative Agenda
WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 20, 2017
Tonight’s Top Conservative News Stories You Won’t See On The Front Page Of Tomorrow’s Fishwrap
(Or On Channels 5, 9, 12, And 19, Either)
TONIGHT’S REALLY BIG STORY
TAX CUTS FOR CHRISTMAS
FRESHMAN YEAR ENDS ON HIGH NOTE
DemocRATS’ Fear Mongering On GOP Tax Cut Plan
“No DemocRAT Voted” For Middle-Class Tax Cut
Orrin Hatch Gives Emotionally Powerful Speech Praising President Trump
The Progressive Income Tax: A Tale of Three Brothers
—Tonight’s Top Trump Tweet —
— TONIGHT’S BEN GARRISON MOMENT —
Something To Remember On The Day Congress Passed The “Tax Cuts And Jobs Act”
We do not need an income tax. The Federal Reserve does not need your income taxes. They can print as much money as they like. What they do need is your obeisance. They need their slaves to genuflect and pay their respects in the form of a ‘voluntary’ income tax. They require citizens to spend endless man-hours filling out forms they don’t understand and wasting their hard-earned money in order to pay tribute to their globalist masters. The reason the tax code is a so bloated? That’s intentional. They don’t want it to be understood. Nearly everyone who tries to take deductions can be proved to be criminals of a sort because few can understand the code. We’re all guilty until proven innocent and the IRS can seize accounts without due process. That’s tyranny.
They call it a ‘voluntary’ tax. Try not volunteering. They might seize your bank accounts. They can take your stuff. They may send their representatives to your door to arrest you and cart you off to prison. If you resist, they can murder you.
Just something to think about as you flush away your money to criminal banksters.
TO SEE MORE BEN GARRISON ILLUSTRATIONS, CLICK HERE
— TONIGHT’S PHOTO-SHOP EDITORIAL SPOOFS ON CURRENT EVENTS FROM EDWARD CROPPER —
TO SEE MORE PHOTO SHOP EDITORIAL SPOOFS FROM EDWARD CROPPER, CLICK HERE
— Whistleblower NFL Boycott Countdown Continues —
NFL Hits Brand New Low After Anthem Protest Force Them To Beg For People To Attend Games
— TONIGHT’S REAL NEWS FROM SATIRICAL WEB SITES —
TO SEE MORE STORIES FROM THE PEOPLE’S CUBE, CLICK HERE
Breaking: Nation Furious Over Giving Government Less Of Their Money
U.S.—The nation was in an absolute uproar as the GOP tax bill passed Congress Wednesday and made its way to President Trump’s desk, with millions of irate citizens expressing their total fury over the fact that the federal government will now be taking less of their money week in and week out.
Hordes of protesters gathered in the nation’s capital to decry the decrease of government taxation of their incomes, sources confirmed.
“America is dead,” one weeping woman said as she found out she would be giving the government $2,000 less under the new tax plan. “If ever there were a time for Americans to rise up and revolt against government oppression, this is it.”
“George Washington died for our right to give large portions of our paychecks to the federal government, and today Republicans are dancing on his grave,” she added before screaming wildly at the sky in hysterics.
At publishing time, relieved citizens discovered that the new tax rates are merely minimums, and they are free to pay as high a rate as they wish.
WASHINGTON—In the wake of the $1.5 trillion tax bill’s historic passage in both the House and the Senate, GOP leaders reportedly celebrated Wednesday their decisive win over everyday American citizens. “This is a monumental victory not only for us, but for everyone struggling under the reign of the average American,” said Senate majority leader Mitch McConnell, adding that party leaders made a promise to “take a stand against ordinary U.S. citizens,” before cracking open a bottle of champagne and proudly declaring that “today, we delivered.” “Of course, the fight against the people of this country is not yet over. We won this battle, but the war is still to come. However, if we carry on with the same vigor demonstrated today in our widely opposed tax overhaul, I know that we will prevail over Americans time and time again.” GOP leaders also expressed confidence that they would achieve another dominant victory over the American people as they push to close the deficit by cutting food stamp programs, Social Security, and Medicare.
TO SEE MORE STORIES FROM THE ONION, CLICK HERE
— Tonight’s Top Three Items In The Original Printed Edition Of The Whistleblower (Not The Newswire) Nearly 27 Years Ago (Edition #30 Published On December 18, 1990)
You Can See That Entire Edition HERE
— Tonight’s Top Three Whistleblower Political Posters —
— HERE’S HOW YOU CAN SUPPORT YOUR FAVORITE FAKE NEWS SITE —
The Whistleblower Newswire Is The Official Publication of Record For The Conservative Agenda
The Blower believes we’re living during the most important period in American History for our non-stop campaign against Political Correctness, the Devolution of American Culture, and the Liberal News Media. Congress and the Liberal Media Establishment will continue to lie and say really stupid things without a smidgen of journalistic integrity in their effort to advance the Liberal Agenda.
Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane Says The Conservative Agenda Is Now Completing Working On Donald Trump’s Third 100 Days To Make America Great Again. Today Is Day Number 336. There Are Now Only 1,048 More Days Until Trump’s Re-election Day on November 3, 2020.