Daily Archives: August 7, 2012

Special “Curiosity Pictures from Mars” E-dition

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers

    • Yesterday to commemorate Hiroshima, we forgot to mention how our campaign is doing. —Obama Fund-raisers
    • Speaking of bombing, how about our big Chick-Fil-A Kiss-in Protest that laid an egg last Friday? —Sodomy Rites Activists, still trying to claim a majority of Americans approve of Gay Marriage
    • Thanks to all those Kneepad Liberals in the Press, we got more publicity last week than all the Olympic Sponsors combined, and ours was all free. —Chick-Fil-A, laughing all the way to the bank
    • Thousands of beachgoers were told to stay away from a popular 234-acre state park on Monday so Obama could hold a $38,500-per-person fundraiser for Hollywood celebrities nearby. —Pissed Off People on Vacation in Connecticut
    • Now does everybody see how our 24/7 coverage of DemocRAT Senate Mis-Leader Harry Reid’s lies about Mitt Romney’s taxes approved by the White House makes it easy for us to avoid reporting on Obama’s failed fiscal policies? —Obama Supporters in the Press
    • On this date in 1912, Teddy Roosevelt was nominated for president by a group of Revolting Republicans called the Bull Moose Party. One wonders what Tea Party Patriots would be calling them today. —Hurley the Historian
    • That’s why we chose Teddy Roosevelt’s “There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.” —Your Quote for Today Committee
    • It’s too bad there are only “90” more days until the 2012 Elections. —Greedy TV Attack Ad Salesmen
    • You can’t believe how many people tell me how much better I look without all that poufy hair. —Marty Brennaman
    • Please forget all those bad things you’ve ever written about actor Charlie Sheen after he gave us $50,000 last weekend. —Cincinnat Reds Community Fund

  • “Mean Jean” Schmidt says nobody in her office was smart enough to produce that vile-and-disgusting YouTube Video asking if Brad Wenstrup has a secret. —Clermont RINO Party Boss Tim Rudd “The Dudd”
  • It’s really a BFD that John Kasich will be a featured speaker at the Republican National Convention in Tampa because it just shows what a great job he’s doing as Ohio’s Governor. —Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders
  • We were delighted to break the story that the Blue Ash City Clown-cil agreed behind closed doors to help fund Cincinnati’s streetcar. —Republicans for Higher Taxes
  • We can’t wait until our August 9 Clown-cil meeting when we approve the scheme we agreed to in secret to help Cincinnati fund their Trolley Folly. —Blue Ash City Clown-cil
  • You know I’ll vote for the Cincinnati’s streetcar, given all the tax increases and big government politicians I’ve supported. —2011 Tax Hiker of the Year Rick Bryan, Blue Ash Clown-cilman
  • I’m with Tax Hikin’ Rick Bryan. I supported “Mean Jean” Schmidt for Congress earlier this year, so there’s no idea bad enough for me to oppose. —Blue Ash Clown-cilman Lee Czerwonka
  • Don’t look to me to do anything about Blue Ash’s support for the streetcar. I just emerged from political hibernation, and that was only to honor the disgraced Sheriff Simon Leis who is also a streetcar supporter. —Chairman Alex Blue Face
  • We don’t stand for anything, except getting Chairman Alex TryinToFoolYou’s wife a job she’s not qualified for. —Hamilton County RINO Party
  • Sorry I missed last week’s scheduled court hearing where I was supposed to face charges of masturbating in that woman’s car. —Disgraced Anderson Trustee Kevin “Spanky” O’Brien
  • Wasn’t last weekend’s Fancy Farm Picnic supposed to be for booing, jeering, and barbecue, along with local and national candidates delivering their best and most colorful one-liners against opponents and scream fiery speeches full of partisan red meat to a raucous crowd hungry to hear rhetorical arrows flung across the aisle? —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo
  • At last weekend’s annual Fancy Farm Picnic, we kept reminding people about all those high-ranking DemocRATS who were afraid to show up because of Obama and his record, especially after 42% of the voters in Kentucky’s DemocRAT Primary chose “Mr. Uncommitted.” —Bluegrass Republicans
  • I was on an economic development trip to Germany. —DemocRAT Governor Steve BeSheared
  • I had a bogus family event. —DemocRAT Lieutenant. Governor Jerry Abramson
  • Me too. — DemocRAT Secretary of State Alison Lundergan Grimes
  • I’ll be at a charity skeet shoot in Calvert City. — DemocRAT Auditor Adam Edelen
  • We won’t be speaking either. — DemocRAT Attorney General Jack Conway and DemocRAT Treasurer Todd Hollenbach
  • This year, I didn’t even show up. —Gatewood Potbreath
  • Here’s an idea— since Defeated DemocRATS aren’t even campaigning in Kentucky, would it be OK for us to volunteer at some of those Romney Victory Centers in Ohio? —Northern Kentucky Tea Party Patriots
  • Trish the Dish wants to know if that Fancy Farm Picnic was anything like that Fantasy Farm Amusement Park in Ohio? —Channel 19 News
  • At Channel 5, Sheree Paolello asked the same thing. —Jack Atherton

 — Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer —

Sometimes The Blower makes fun of political picnics to show that standing out in all that hot sun when you don’t have to is not acceptable in our society. This should be clear to anybody who really likes listening to political speeches.

This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental, especially people who even know where Fancy Farm is.

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Some Obama Campaign Bashing items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally Obama Campaign Bashing subscribers, but we could always use more.

Link of the Day

Obama and Biden Continue ‘Search for Perfect Campaign Slogan’

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