Tag Archives: Stephen Colbert

Special “Ignoring Ohio’s Primary Election” Edition

Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers
Sorry we couldn’t find any “Honest Elected Officials” for Monday’s “Honesty Day Edition.” —Whistleblower Researchers

I now take full responsibility. But it’s still everybody else’s fault that I lost the 2016 Election. —Crooked Hillary 

It would be easy to make jokes about the way Trump bashed Saturday Night’s White House Correspondents Dinner. All you would have to do would be to tell the truth. —Jimmy Kimmel

I really meant it when I said, “We are not fake news. We are not failing news organizations. And we are not the enemy of the American people.” ——Olivier Knox, who will take over as the WHCA president this summer,

Was Trump smart to skip Saturday Night’s WHCA Dinner or what? —Chuck Todd, The Best “Meet The Depressed” Moderator Since David Gregory, Made Famous By Interviewing Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane in His Back Yard About The Cincinnati Zoo’s Threat To Kill All The Elephants If Voters Didn’t Pass Their Tax Hike

That’s why we chose Will Rogers’ “I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.” —Your Quote for Today Committee

The Blower may have been using the term “Fake News” years ago, but you can’t say I’m not making up for it these days. —President Trump

That’s why I called Trump a “cocksucker” on my Late Night Show. —Stephen Colbert

How did you like the way I stunned reporters today by leaving my daily press briefing without taking questions? —Trump’s White House press Secretary Sean Spicer

It is absolutely shameful to see the media blocking the positive message President Trump is trying to share with the country. It’s clear that CNN is trying to silence our voice and censor our free speech because it doesn’t fit their narrative. —Trump-Pence 2020 Campaign

May Day (the first of May) is celebrated around the world, especially in communist and socialist countries, where it’s a celebration for the workers. —Hurley the Historian

We were really planning a really big disruption on May Day in Cincinnati. —ANTIFAS From Amberley

Yesterday was also “Save the Rhino Day,” but we had our own sort of celebration in mind. —RINO Hunters of America

How come The Blower forgot “Hairstyle Appreciation Day” on Monday, which allows each of us to express his special individuality? —Steve Chabothead 

Thanks to Edward Cropper for helping publicize my new book. —Ohio’s Delusional Governor John Kasich

Most people were following The Blower’s advice by ignoring Cincinnati’s Meaningless Mayoral Primary today with only three Disingenuous DemocRATS running because “None Of The Above” wasn’t on the ballot. —Political Insiders At The Conservative Agenda

Why is it always so hard to find Republican Candidates?. —Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP

Everybody’s wondering how many people will actually show up at the polls on May 8. —Sherry Poland, Hamilton County Board Of Elections

Turnout was expected to be better than in 2013, when just 5.6% of voters showed up for the primary. —Foxy Roxy

Monday night at the Anderson Apocalypse Meeting, 30 “Keepers” residing in Anderson and 30 “Changers” bused in from the rez each got two minutes to speak, wasting another two hours on that faux outrage of a few Loony Liberals who will never stop wanting to replace our oh-so politically incorrect 80-year old Anderson “Redskins Name,” even if it would cost $1 MILLION that we don’t have.” —Forest Hills School District School Board Members: Elizabeth Barber; Dee Dee ChoiceForest Heis, M.D.Randy Smith; and  Jim Frooman 

Don’t forget the big Redskin Rally on Saturday. —Anderson Boosters

Wasn’t that just another diversion from serious financial matters caused by the School Board’s incompetence and deceptions? —Anderson Overtaxed Payers who’ve filed complaints with the Hamilton County Board of Revision over their jacked up property values by Hamilton County’s Disingenuous Double-Dipping DemocRAT Auditor

We have everything under control at Cincinnati City Hall, so fellow Disingenuous DemocRAT Greg Landsman and I had plenty of time to try to get a little social media exposure insinuating ourselves into the Anderson Redskins Controversy Monday Night. —ClowncilGay Chris Squealback

Meanwhile at City Hall, PG Sittenfeld and his Gang of Five continue to stonewall on producing their text message and emails discussing city business and the City Solicitor is being overrun with requests for emails and text messages from other council members. One thing is for sure, Sittenfeld’s Folly threatens to shut down city hall until he relents and releases his text messages. COAST’s Avaricious Attorney Chris Finney

There are now only 20 more days until the Primary Elections in Kentucky. —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo

Speaking of Honesty Day, every week, we used to feature quite a few dishonest people in my “This Week in Kenton Circuit Court” newsletter. —Our Good Friend Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E Rob Sanders

Everybody at my place claims he’s honest. —Terry “The Smiling Jailer” Carl

You can’t cheat an honest man. —W.C. Fields

I was really surprised The Blower couldn’t find a way to work my name into Monday’s “Honesty Day E-dition.” —Eric “Call Me Crazy,” Big Mouth, Most Sanctioned, Ambulance Chaser, No Count of a Radio Host, Shameless Self Promoter, Willie Wannabe, Why Haven’t I Been Disbarred, Who Likes Bulldogs and Failed Roadhouse Operator Deters

Please ask Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy Furball what he thinks of our chances this year. —Florence Freedom Fans, waiting for Opening Day on May 10

Some anchorbimbos I’ve written about even wonder if “Honesty” includes cheating on your spouse. —Whistleblower Gossip Columnist Linda Libel

If cleanliness is next to Godliness, then “Honesty” is next to impossible. —TV19’s Trish the Dish

Adulterous Anchorbimbos used to be our most popular perk. TV5 News

  Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer
          Sometimes The Blower questions a person’s motives to show that dishonesty of any kind is not appropriate in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t an elected official.

          This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental, especially philandering politicians.   

e-mail your egregious examples today.

Some cynically critical items in today’s Blower were sent in by our really cynically critical subscribers.

Whistleblower Video of the Day
From ‘Hope’ to Hypocrisy: The Senator Who Became A Sellout

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