TODAY IS
THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 14, 2018
Trump’s 755th Day In Office
The Whistleblower’s 61st Annual Seediest Kids of All Campaign (Not Associated With The Failed United Way) Is Now Underway.
We’re featuring some truly inspirational stories about the waifs and urchins we claim to have helped in Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky, just so you’ll believe we actually give a big rat’s ass.
Why don’t we have a more traditional holiday guilt campaign like the rest of the news media? No charity made our publisher its president in exchange for free publicity and our endorsement, we don’t have a fat weatherman turned radio talk-show host who was never actually convicted of beating up his girlfriend, and all the really good dead celebrities other than Harriet Beecher Stowe, “Clean Gene” Ruehlmann, and “BeanBall Jim” Bunning have already been taken.
The Norbert Bleek Story
Today we bring you the inspiring story of Norbert Bleek, a cute little 8-year-old transvestite child from Northern Kentucky whose mother couldn’t afford to buy him new Nike gym shoes and Polo T-shirts all the time, so Norbert was forced to wear his older sister’s tattered, out-of-style, hand-me-down dresses. Norbert’s school mates were often cruel, especially when they made fun of the way he dressed.
So the Seediest Kids of All (not associated with the Failed United Way) sent over some school clothes, courtesy of Norma Rashid’s Recycled Clothing Store in Fort Thomas.
These days when Norbert goes to school, he wears his own tattered, out-of-style dress, instead of one previously worn by his older sister. Norbert’s classmates still make fun of him, but it’s not just because he wears girls’ clothes. It’s because his mother is a lesbian, and they live in Y’All Ville, KY, where laughing at a child whose mother has hairy legs is not prohibited by that city’s Human Rights Ordinance.
The Bleek family has you to thank, because it’s your liberal guilt throughout the year which makes it all possible.
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE
e-mail your stories about worthy waifs today.