Tag Archives: Saturday Night Live

Special “Christmas Day” E-dition (“Mean Jean” Schmidt’s Twelve Days Of Christmas)

TODAY IS
TUESDAY, DECEMBER 15, 2020
TRUMP’S 1425th DAY IN OFFICE
AND DOES ANYBODY REMEMBER WHEN ROB PORTMAN WAS A CONSERVATIVE?
So Far In 2020, The Blower Has Presented The First Five Verses Of “Mean Jean” Schmidt’s Twelve Days Of Christmas,”

The First Verse Of Mean Jean Schmidt’s Twelve Days Of Christmas” was in by the Ghost of “Clean Gene” Ruehlmann, who says, “Hamilton County would still be ‘Red’ if I were still alive.”

On the First Day of Christmas, “Mean Jean” gave to me:
One Old Crapper, from Rob Portman’s Legacy.The Second Verse Of “Mean Jean Schmidt’s” Twelve Days of Christmas” was sent in by “Mean Jean’s” Eviler Twin Sister Jennifer Black, after “Mean Jean” was again featured on MTV’s “Awesomely Bad Celebrity Fashions.”

“On the Second Day of Christmas, ‘Mean Jean’ gave to me,
Two Red Dresses,
And one old Crapper, from Rob Portman’s Legacy.”

The Third Verse Of “Mean Jean’s” Twelve Days of Christmas was sent in by “Mean Jean’s” former campaign Mangler, Joe “I Managed Scott Croswell’s Failed Campaign, Too” Braun, whose Strauss Troy law firm partners might’ve been celebrating this Christmas if they’d finally been paid for defending “Mean Jean” in Columbus before the Ohio Elections Commission several years ago.

On the Third Day of Christmas, “Mean Jean” gave to me,
Three Borgman cartoons,
Two red dresses,
And one old crapper, from Rob Portman’s legacy.

The Fourth Verse Of “Mean Jean” Schmidt’s Twelve Days of Christmas” was sent in by “TaxKiller Tom” Brinkman, who still claims he did not run down that “Bitch-in-a-Ditch” at the spot Union Township officials in Clermont County had erected a special sign for the occasion.

Instead, “TaxKiller Tom” is shown gleefully cutting “Mean Jean’s” head off a cake at the Marie Antoinette “Let ‘Em Eat Cake Awards.” It goes something like this:

On the Fourth Day of CHRISTmas, “Mean Jean” gave to me:
Four Screeching Tires,
Three Borgman cartoons,
Two red dresses,
And one old crapper, from Rob Portman’s legacy.

The Fifth Verse Of “Mean Jean” Schmidt’s Twelve Days of Christmas” was sent in by Lt. Colonel Danny Bubp-kis, about whom “Mean Jean” lied on the floor of Congress and she wound up as a laughingstock on “Saturday Night Live.”

On the Fifth Day of Christmas, “Mean Jean” gave to me,
Five Libelous Liars,
Four Screeching Tires,
Three Borgman Cartoons,
Two Red Dresses,
And One Crapper, from Rob Portman’s Legacy.The Sixth Verse Of “Mean Jean Schmidt’s Twelve Days of Christmas” was sent in by Clermont County Crony-in-Chief “Buffalo Dave” Uible, who said, “It never matters who wants our endorsement, since all the votes have already been counted.”

On the Sixth Day of Christmas, “Mean Jean” gave to me,
Six Crooked Cronies,
Five Libelous Liars,
Four Screeching Tires,
Three Borgman Cartoons,
Two Red Dresses,
And One Old Crapper, from Rob Portman’s Legacy.

And Tonight, We Proudly Present Verse Number Seven

The Seventh Verse Of “Mean Jean” Schmidt’s Twelve Days of Christmas” was sent in by producers at “Saturday Night Live,” whose hilarious news parody made disgraced ex-Ohio Second District Congresswoman a laughingstock all across this great nation when Rachel Dratch played “Mean Jean.” It goes something like this:

On the Seventh Day of Christmas, “Mean Jean” gave to me,
Seven Wits a Wagging,
Six Crooked Cronies,
Five Libelous Liars,
Four Screeching Tires,
Three Borgman Cartoons,
Two Red Dresses,
And One Old Crapper, from Rob Portman’s Legacy.
The Next Five Verses Will Be Presented In Future E-ditions.

Collect Them All