FRIDAY, AUGUST 4, 2017

Killing People and Breaking Things

Hurley the Historian says on tomorrow’s date in 1945 the US dropped its first atomic bomb called “Little Boy” on the Japanese city of Hiroshima, which is why our Quote for Today Committee chose then President Harry S. Truman’s “The atom bomb was no ‘great decision.’ It was merely another powerful weapon in the arsenal of righteousness.”

These days, it’s hard to believe the Historic Hypocrisy of the Obama Administration’s non-stop criticism of Israel for bombing terrorists in Gaza (who have sworn to kill innocent civilians in Israel) while American planes were bombing ISIS terrorists to prevent the same genocide in Obama’s New War in Iraq, which he hasn’t even been able to get Congress to approve yet. We were disappointed at Obama’s hypocrisy, but cynically speaking, we were also hardly surprised.

We’re disappointed at Obama’s hypocrisy, but cynically speaking, we’re hardly surprised.

Meanwhile, we’re really surprised ISIS hasn’t shown the world photos of all those innocent children Obama’s drones and aircraft have killed, instead of all those innocent civilians the terrorists have beheaded, barbecued, and blown up.  

Now Let’s Meet Today’s Guest Editor:

Why, it’s none other than Legendary Military Planner Herr Doktor Merkwürdigliebe, who was an important scientist under Germany’s Nazi regime. When he came to the United States, he translated his name to “Strangelove.” He was a science adviser to President Merkin Muffley and sometimes commissioned studies of defense issues by the BLAND Corporation. He also gave an idea on how they could survive a nuclear war.
Dr. Strangelove understood the purpose of the military is to kill people and break things, and that strategic bombing is an application of the concept of “total war,” in which all civilians are considered to be combatants and thus legitimate targets. In 1965, when the North Vietnamese were proving to be stubborn enemies, U.S. Air Force General Curtis LeMay threatened that they would be “bombed back into the stone age.”

The problem with strategic bombing is that it seems never to have worked, with the possible exception of Rotterdam, and those two minor bomb runs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Rather than breaking popular morale in London, Berlin, Tokyo, or Hanoi, it usually strengthened it. Confronted by a common deadly threat, civilians rally around the only leaders who can do anything to protect them, even if those leaders are widely disliked.

In spite of that, The Blower is still honored to choose Herr Doktor to be this week’s guest editor and choose three Non-Military Updates plus a Non-Military Quickie for today’s E-dition from our Current Cadre of Conservative Columnists and Contributors.

“THE VIRGINIANS” by Author Owen Wister

When Obama died, George Washington met him at the Pearly Gates. He slapped Obama across the face and yelled, “How dare you try to destroy the Nation I helped conceive?”

Patrick Henry approached, punched Obama in the nose and shouted, “You wanted to end our liberties but you failed.”

James Madison followed, kicked Obama in the groin and said, “This is why I allowed our government to provide for the common defense!”

Thomas Jefferson was next. He beat Obama with a long cane and snarled, “It was evil men like you who inspired me to write the Declaration of Independence.”

The beatings and thrashings continued as James Monroe and 66 other early Americans unleashed their anger on the radical, socialist, leader.

As Obama lay bleeding and in pain, an Angel appeared. Obama wept and said, “This is not what you promised me. Where are all those virgins?”

The Angel replied, “I told you there would be 72 VIRGINIANS waiting for you in Heaven. What did you think I said? You really need to listen when someone is trying to tell you something!”

“DO YOU FORGET WHAT HAPPENED?” by Suezilla Hardenberg, Anderson TEA Party Princess

Here’s what happened on July 1, 2014:

Top Income Tax bracket went from 35% to 39.6%

Top Income Payroll Tax went from 37.4% to 52.2%

Capital Gains Tax went from 15 % to 28%

Dividend Tax went from 15% to 39.6%

Estate Tax went from 0% to 55%

These taxes were all passed under the so-called Affordable Care Act.

These taxes were all hidden but the funds were all used to “prove” the so-called Affordable Care Act would balance Obama’s Budget.

All these taxes were passed with only Disingenuous DemocRAT votes in the U.S. Senate.

Not one Republican voted to increase these taxes, which is something you might want to remember on Election Day, whenever the hell that is.

“NEVER ANSWER ANYTHING TOO QUICKLY” by Bobby Leach

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a very attractive red-headed woman waving at him.

She says, “Hello.”

He’s rather taken aback because he can’t place where he knows her from. So he asks, “Do you know me?”

To which she replies, “I think you’re the father of one of my kids.”

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife.

So he asks, “Are you the stripper from the bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table, with all my buddies watching, while your girl friend whipped my butt with wet celery?”

She looks into his eyes and says calmly, “No, I’m your son’s kindergarten teacher.”

AND A QUICKIE By Podiatrist/ Congressman Brad Wenstrup

A close friend of mine was telling me that when he took the entrance exam to attend Medical School, he was perplexed by the following question:

Rearrange the letters P N E S I to spell out the part of the human body that is of the most use when erect!

Those students who spelled SPINE were admitted and became doctors. The rest of us are in Congress.

These items are perfect to forward to all of your Internet Buddies and Facebook Friends with too much time on their hands.

Stories We’re Working On

Obama’s Birthday Bashing Continues
Trump ‘Making Progress’ Despite Deep State’s Efforts
Stock Market Hits Another New High
Collusion Between Media and Obama’s DOJ
Sessions Declares War on Leaks
Trump Bashes Hillary, Sparks ‘Lock Her Up’ Chant at Rally
President Touts Job Growth, Ignores Russia Jabs
‘More Regulation Busting to Come’

Whistleblower Web Poll

This week, here’s what the first 17,648 Whistleblower Readers Poll respondents said was the best advice to stay cool during a summer heat wave in Greater Cincinnati:
(A) Drink plenty of liquids: 2%
(B) Turn your air-conditioner all the way up: 1%
(C) Don’t over exert yourself: 1%
(D) Work naked at your computer: 96%

Note: Everything we write doesn’t have to be so damn cynical and mean-spirited, it’s just so much more fun that way!

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LEAKED: Trump’s first call to Obama

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