— Your Official Publication of Record For The Conservative Agenda —
FRIDAY, AUGUST 25, 2017
This morning at the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane what more could happen to that Really Stupid AntiFa Protester who got shot in the balls with a pepper ball after kicking tear gas back at police during Reuters’ Anti-Trump “Peace Activist” Riots following the Trump Rally in Phoenix. “It was the shot seen ‘round the Internet,” Kane explained.
Imagine 29-year-old Joshua Stuart Cobin’s surprise when he got to do the Perp Walk on CBS 5 after Phoenix Police arrested him Thursday night on three felony counts of aggravated assault on police along with one misdemeanor count of unlawful assembly. That was like getting kicked in the balls all over again.
“The Blower hasn’t had this much fun since we told people how Cincinnati Police Officer Matt “Shoot ‘em in the Dick” Martin got his ‘Official Whistleblower Nickname,’ ” Kane added.