TODAY IS
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 08, 2020
AND TONIGHT JEWS WILL CELEBRATE PASSOVER, PAINTING THEIR DOORPOSTS WITH BLOOD SO THE ANGEL OF DEATH WILL KNOW TO WHICH HOUSES NOT TO BRING CHINA’S DEADLY KUNG FU VIRUS

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Happy Passover, Everybody
(Let’s All Enjoy Our Virtual Annual Seder Tonight)

First, as Rabbi Kosherwitz always says, let me tell you a little story. Would you like to know how God came to give the Jews the Ten Commandments?

God first went to the Egyptians and asked them if they would like a commandment. “What’s a commandment?” they asked.

“Well, it’s like, THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT ADULTERY,” replied God. The Egyptians thought about it and then said, “No way, that would ruin our weekends.” 

So then God went to the Assyrians and asked them if they would like a commandment. They also asked, “What’s a commandment?”

“Well,” said God, “It’s like, THOU SHALT NOT STEAL,” and the Assyrians immediately replied, “No way. That would ruin our economy.”

So finally God went to the Jews and asked them if they wanted a commandment.  They asked, “How much?”  God said, “They’re free.” And the Jews said, “Great! We’ll take TEN!”

Now, for our “Goyim” subscribers, we have Uncle Jay’s Video Explaining Passover for OurJewishCommunity.org. You may never have to watch “The Ten Commandments” again.

 And according to Jib Jab, the miracle of Passover was not parting the Red Sea, but getting the Jews to cross it. You could also watch their Hip Hop for Hebrews called “The Matzah Rap,” and “Who Let The Jews Out,” and if you’re feeling really blasphemous, you could always enjoy the trailer from “I Know What You Did Last Seder.” It’s enough to make you want to order a ham sandwich. 

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