THURSDAY, MAY 11, 2017     

Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers  

Isn’t it awful the way some politicians always exploit Mother’s Day as just another way to try to raise money? —Mrs. Bill Clinton, Delusional Ohio Governor Kasich, Ohio U.S. Senator Rob “Fighting for Families” Portman, Ohio Attorney General Mike DeWhine Running For Governor, DemocRAT Bluegrass Secretary of State Alison Wondergams Grimes, and Barack Obama

There are still a few Republicans in Ohio who haven’t sent in their donations to honor the Governor’s Birthday Card. —2020 Kasich For President Committee

Did you see where Kneepad Liberals in the Press now want Rob “Fighting for Same-Sex Sodomy” Portman to help “reshape” the Republican Position on Marriage? —Bewildered Constituents

That’s why we’re always so pleased to have Ohio’s Same-Sex-Supporting Senator Rob Portman to be a featured speaker at our annual Hamilton County RINO Party Lincoln-Reagan-Portman Dinners. —Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP

Do you think Alex T. would allow me to speak if I showed up at his room full of RINOs? —“TaxKiller Tom” Brinkman

Is there still time to ask your local RINOs to remove our names from their sleazy fund-raising dinner on Saturday? —Lincoln and Reagan

This week in 2002, Dingbat DemocRAT Jimmy Carter embarrassed us all when he let Fidel Castro look down on him in Cuba, and last year Obama visited Hiroshima where nobody really believed him when he said he wouldn’t be apologizing again. —Hurley the Historian

That’s why we chose 2016 Republican Presidential Runner-Up Candidate Ted Cruz’s “The consequence of the Obama/Clinton foreign policy is that our friends no longer trust us, and our enemies no longer fear us.” —Your Quote For Today Committee

Is our TEA Party Texan now in charge of redoing the ObamaCare bill in the Senate?—The Conservative Agenda

Thanks for continuing to publish my work in The Blower in spite of threats of violence and intimidation from the Gaystapo and other Liberal Hate Groups.  —Award Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception, winner of the $50,000 Conservative Artwork Award

Maybe we should’ve accepted Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane’s suggestion to ask those guys I paid all that money to “manage my campaign” to try to get my name in the news once in a while last year.  —Andy Pappas, Republican Candidate for Hamilton County Commissioner 

It’s really easy coverging the Bluegrass Primary Elections this year. —Feckless Fishwrappers

Does everybody remember how I used to  stay above the fray and run funny campaign commercials about my opponents? —TEA Party Guy Matt Bevin

In Independence, where incest is best, Mother’s Day is always a family affair, because it’s also “Cousins Day” in Kentucky. —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo

Everybody in MILF-ord was waiting for The Blower to include me in Monday’s MILF Day E-dition this year. —MILF-ord Mayor Laurie Howland 

Did I forget to put out a special Mother’s Day edition of my titillating e-newsletter this week? —Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E Rob Sanders

We told you we could drink your mother under the table. —Michael Liquid Plummer and His Designated Driver, Nathan “Cornbread” Smith

Did you see that Mother’s Day card I sent to all those Mothers in the Bluegrass Bar Association? —Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters, Who Once Upon a Time Used to Claim To Be A Lawyer

The law says you can’t discriminate against a mother, even if she’s a lesbian. —Covington Commissioners

On Mother’s Day, single mothers with big breasts always drink free. —Mainstrasse Pub

In southern Boondoggle County, they even have Mother’s Day cards for barnyard animals. — Gex “Rhymes with Sex” Williams

 My mother needed more protection, so I went out and bought my pistol-packing mama another Glock, along with a concealed carry permit. —Bluegrass Rifle Association spokesman Billy Bob Carbine

Wherever I went on Mother’s Day, everybody asked me what a MILF was. —Bobby Leach

Sometimes we call it MILF Madness. —Bluegrass Boys with Boners

Bill Fesh says he was once sexually harassed by a MILF. —Whistleblower Gossip Columnist Linda Libel

A MILF is a terrible thing to waste. —Horny in Hebron

When does The Blower’s Official MILF List come out? I want to be on it. —Lisa Wells, Who Used To Be On WLW Radio, Along With Some Of Those Other Folks Who Just Got Their Asses Canned Last Week, And Whose Jobs Will Not Be Replaced Since Cincinnati Is Now Being Progammed Out Of Columbus

Can Cougars be MILFs too? —Uptight Bitches in Fort Mitchell hoping for real orgasms

Don’t forget to mention me. —Jenny Lee

Why don’t you just give your readers our definition. —Wikipedia

This year’s Mother’s Day buffet at the Golden Corral was better than ever. —Scott “Pass the Biscuits” Kimmich and Clueless Marc Wilson 

Last weekend we showed “MILFs from Outer Space.” —Flashlight Theatre

Don’t forget, Opening Day for my Y’All Ville baseball team is coming up pretty soon. —Mayor Blondie Whalen

Hey, Everybody… Trish the Dish still wants to know when Unwed Teenage Mother’s Day is. —TV 19 News   

Channel 9 “Substantially True” News” plans to do a story on that very subject. —WCPO-TV Helicopter Reporter Dan Carroll (Formerly with TV 19)

Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Northern Kentucky MILF Watchers.

   —  Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer —

Sometimes The Blower uses family photographs to show that exploiting your mother of any kind is not acceptable in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t an elected official.

          This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental, especially Alison Wondergams Grimes, shown here campaigning with both her mother and her grandmother.

 MOTHER’S DAY EXPLOITATION HOTLINE

e-mail your egregious examples today.

Some outrageous items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally outrageous subscribers. WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO OF THE DAY

 THE CRIMINAL ARROGANCE OF HILLARY CLINTON

Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.

 Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here