FRIDAY, JANUARY 5, 2018

By Eliminating All Those Banned PC Words And Expressions

At this afternoon’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were listening to Charles Foster Kane explain President Trump’s successes during his first 352 days in office, when our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher recalled one of the biggest reasons for Trump’s election in 2016.   

At the heart of the matter remained one question: How did Trump, for all his manifest faults, become the champion of the working class voter, the little guy, the men and women who feel their opinions are scorned and their voices unheeded? As Trump repeatedly did and said things that would have ended anyone else’s political career, he won rather than lost admiration. Why? Because by example, not just by precept, he rejected, day in and day out, every convention and custom demanded by an overbearing, supercilious and detested cultural elite. He became the champion of the common man because he made himself the enemy of their enemy.  

“You know what that means,” Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane said, “Our staff will now have to go through The Blower’s Politically Incorrect Lexicon and change all those currently politically incorrect words and expression back to the way they were BPC (Before Political Correctness).”   

Some of Kane’s BPC Examples Included:

A “Dysfunctional Family,” which can now be called a “Broken Home.”

“Physically Challenged” people can now be called “Handicapped.”

“Vertically Challenged” will revert to “Midgets.”

A “Homeless Person” can now be called a “Bum,” especially if that moocher is too lazy to get a job.

The “N-Word” can once again be used, and a “Pathologically High-Spirited” person can once again be called a “Psycho.”

“Undocumented Immigrants” can now be called “Illegal Aliens” to imply that these people are a bunch of law-breaking creatures from outer space, and “Undocumented Immigrants” to suggest that they are good old-fashioned immigrants that simply haven’t bothered with all that hassle of being “documented” yet.

“Homophobes” can now be called “Gay Bashers,” since it’ll soon be OK to call one of those “Queers” a “Faggot” “Fairy,” or “Fruit.” And we can once again enjoy calling “Lesbians” all sorts of “Dykes,” like “Baby Dykes,” “Bull Dykes,” and “DeiselDykes” (Those are super masculine lesbians who tend to drive trucks or other heavy machinery.)

And “Islamophobes.” These non-Muslims know more than they are supposed to know about Islam. “Islamophobia” is an allegedly irrational fear of losing life or liberty to Islamic rule merely because the laws, sacred texts, and traditional practices of Islam demand the submission of culture, politics, religion and all social expression. It tends to afflict those most familiar with the religion while sparing the more gullible. The word “Islamophobia” literally means a fear of Islam, but since Allah himself “throws terror into the hearts of disbelievers” (Quran 8:12) it is used more often in reference to the rejection of Islam.

“So what will The Blower now be calling “Muslims?” asked the intern.

“Radical Islamic Terrorist Bastards,” Kane replied. “The same as always! Look at all the people they killed just last week!”