TODAY IS
THURSDAY, MAY 16, 2019
Trump’s 846th Day In Office

Happy International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia Day, Everybody!

             At least that’s what Obama’s White House claimed a few years ago in this Official Statement: “Michelle and I join our fellow Americans and others around the world in commemorating the International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia on May 17.  We take this opportunity to reaffirm that lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) rights are human rights, to celebrate the dignity of every person, and to underscore that all people deserve to live free from fear, violence, and discrimination, regardless of whom they choose to sodomize.”

Tomorrow’s big day will probably catch everybody by surprise, since we might not even see a single word about “Homophobia and Transphobia Day” anywhere on the front page of tomorrow’s Fishwrap, because our Feckless Fishwrappers will probably be too busy following up on tonight’s coordinated sneak attack by the Destroy Trump Media, where they’ll be fueling even more ‘fake news’ criticism with misleading reports about Trump’s Twitter de jour.

Our Gregarious Grammarian says the word should be “whom,” not “who,” but for all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, and Failed Trying To Give Obama a Third Term By Voting For Hillary, and get all of their “fake news” from our Obama Supporters in the Press, like the ones at The Fishwrap and on Channel 5, 9, 12, and 19, as Mrs. Bill Clinton might say, “What difference would that make?”

Over at Citizens for Community Values, everybody’s wondering if the replacement for former Homophobic Transphobe-in-Chief Phil Burr-Ass didn’t even have a chance to blast out a fund-raising e-mail to protest today’s event.

At Cincinnati City Hall, Clown-cil Gay Chris Squealback didn’t have time to organize a rally on Fountain Square.

RINO Senator Rob “Fighting for Same Sex Sodomy” Portman probably won’t mention a word about tomorrow’s “Homophobia and Transphobia Day,” since he’s so busy worrying about what Trump might have told the Russians, even as Ohio First District Conservative Congressman Steve Chabothead was worrying about The Fishwrap’s obvious endorsement of his PC Opponent in the 2018 Election. 

CH Snitch at 1000 Main Street says Hamilton County Prosecutor “JayWalking Joe” Deters didn’t even think to include pot-smoking hermaphrodites that time he announced he was supporting the legalization of marijuana.  

Whistleblower Alternate Life-Style Contributors Ben Dover and Phil McKrevis said last night prancing perverts didn’t know the first thing about today’s “Homophobia and Transphobia Day” celebration at Simon Says, one of the oldest gay bars in Cincinnati, frequented by some of the oldest gay patrons in town.

In Anderson, Forrest Gump School Board Members said it was OK to put up flyers promoting “Homophobia and Transphobia Day in all their transsexual-inclusive restrooms and locker rooms..”

Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall says the Florence Freedom didn’t have time to order 30,000 Homophobe and Transphone Bobble Butt Dolls to give away at tonight’s opening game.

Also In Northern Kentucky, Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo remembers three years ago, right before the 2015 Primary Elections, when Conservative Blogger Michael Adams leaked accusations that the Republican Gubernatorial Candidate had abused a left-handed Lithuanian Lesbian in College, and that Matt Bevin once attended a cock fight where gay guys were fighting with their cocks.

Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says according to a recent Gallup survey, less than 1% (actually only .8 %) is part of a same-sex couple, but Political Correctness dictates that .8% of the population may tell the other 99.2% how  to live.

Meanwhile, The Blower remembers when former President George W. Bush delivered his first commencement speech after he left the White House at Southern Methodist University. While defending religious liberty in the aftermath of the gay marriage legislation debate in states such as Indiana and Arkansas, Bush remarked, “It is essential for the nation’s future that we remember that the freedom to worship who we want, and how we want – or not to worship at all – is a core belief of our founding.”

Finally, the entire Conservative Agenda will be having lunch at Chick Fil A today, not just to celebrate “Homophobia and Transphobia Day,” but we all wanted to eat there since it was closed when we drove by on Sunday. 

Now, while the so-called Human Rights Campaign marks the observance of the 2019 International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia and Biphobia (IDAHOTB) by spotlighting global challenges to LGBTQ equality and calling out the Trump-Pence Administration for turning a blind eye to the oppression and abuse of LGBTQ people around the globe, let’s all sing our  “Homophobia and Transphobia Day” song, and if you don’t join in, every Leftist if ever there was will be sure to call you a homophobe.