FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 30, 2016

Elections Dejections

This week, everybody who’s really tired of watching all those campaign commercials on TV, e-mailed an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.

The winner is noted political pundit J. L. Jaundice, who says he thought if you voted early, you wouldn’t have to watch all those crappy political ads anymore.

J. L. wins an Official Whistleblower Election Night Scorecard to tally this year’s DemocRAT Debacle, 38 absentee ballots for him to fill out so he can participate in Early Voter Fraud like all those illegal immigrants and other DemocRAT Voters, and an “I Told You So” Button to wear on November 9.

It’s less than six more weeks till elections
And no matter what your selections
Because the plain fact is
They’ll still raise your taxes
So the government can increase its collections.

It’s less than six more weeks till elections
(In Japan, they would call that “erections”)
I can’t help being stimulated,
For six years I’ve waited,
To change our political directions.

And from the Anderson Laureate (who says if this doesn’t result in the restoration of his poetic license, he might have to file a complaint with the ARPLUBP (Americans for Restoration of Poetic License for Unfortunately Bad Poets):

It’s less than six more weeks till elections
And the country has still divided its affections
Hillary’s percent
Who still can’t pay for food or rent
Will vote in predictable directions.

If Obama’s D-RATS get elected again
It will be a terrible sin
That arrogant bastard
Has rhetoric mastered
I’m scared to death he will win.

All I’ve seen for the last several years
Has fed into all of my fears
Those guys hate the US
And have created a mess
If they win, I’ll be forever in tears.

Obama is an arrogant jerk
Who has never done any real work
His strength is his style
Shirtsleeves and phony smile
Big ears and self-absorbed smirk.

If what I learned in school is true
When Obama’s life is all thru
Though he thinks he’s swell
He’s going straight to Hell
And he’ll probably fool the devil too.

The first line of next week’s limerick is:
“When the Media Takes a News Poll”

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