TODAY IS
MONDAY, JUNE 03, 2019
Trump’s 864th Day In Office
Still More Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers
My D-Word was “Destructive” when I destroyed my server just like Jim Comey and Loretta Lynch told me. —Your Frumpy Hillary Impersonator (who vaguely resembles Looney Libertarian Jim Berns dressed up like Bruce Jenner)
We can’t believe that “Dummy” asked for our endorsement like the one he got from our good friends at COAST. —Cincinnati Chapter of the NAALCP
Chris Finney’s Strange Bedfellow SMLP Smithermouth’s D-Word should be “Dishonest.” That’s why I filed a complaint against him with the Cincinnati Elections Commission. —Belligerent Black Blogger Nate “Rhymes With Hate” Livingston
I thought “Dishonest” was Kathy Harrell’s D-Word. —Our FOP Lodge #69 Snitch
Should my D-Word be “Disgraceful” or “Demeaning” for my “I’s Da Chief” Performance? —Cincinnati’s “Discredited” Ex-Police Chief Jeffrey Blackwell
My D-Word today is “Documents,” which illegal immigrants really don’t need to be welcome in our Sanctuary. —Diminutive D-RAT Mayor John Cranley
Should our D-Words be “Dames in Distress,” just because we still won’t let babes in our clubhouse except to clean or serve meals. —Da Literary Club on Fourth Street
My D-Word is “Deluded” for Whiny Progressives like Ryan Messer and his Stupid Streetcar Suck-ups when they claimed they could control the Hamilton County Demo-Labor Party. —Tim Burka
How “Disrespectful” to the Over-Taxed Payers were we when we agreed to pay Disgraced Ex-Superintendent “Smiling Dallas” Jackson all that money as part of our cover-up? — Forrest Gump School Board Members (Forest Heis, M.D.; Randy Smith; Jim Frooman; Julie Bissinger; and Tony Hemmelgarn)
People who march in this month’s Gay Day Parade in Cincinnati will all be “Degenerates.” — Phil Burr-Ass, Former Director of Citizens for Community Values
When I reminded Ohioans to “Defend” themselves during Internet Safety Month, I didn’t mean they had to wear a rubber. —Ohio Attorney General Mike DeWhine
Thursday in Northern Kentucky, we’ll have some of the best D-Day celebrations ever. —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo
What does the “D” stand for? —Goof Doofus
I think it should stand for “D-RATS.” —Nathan “Cornbread” Smith
How about “Drink?” —Michael Liquid Plummer
What about “Disguised D-RATS?” —NoKY Chamber of Commerce President Trey Grayson
At my place of business, the “D” always stands for “Detention.” —Terry “The Smiling Jailer” Carl
Are you sure that “D” doesn’t stand for “Disbarred?” —$tan Che$ley
Thanks to that Cabal of NoKY Attorneys Still Out to Destroy Me, I’ll always be “Deranged, Demented, and Disbarred.” —Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters
D-Day certainly doesn’t stand for “Diets.” —Weight Gainers Big-Ass Members Marc Wilson and Scott “Pass the Biscuits” Kimmich
D-Day is for “Dinosaurs.” —The Lizard Museum
Might it stand for “Dye-job?” —Y’All Ville Mayor Blondie Whalen
D-Day is always a great time to wear your bikini at the Fort Mitchell Country Club. —Miss Vicki
We’re still trying to figure out if Confederate Memorial Day is officially celebrated in Northern Kentucky. —Rufus Redneck
On D-Day, all Second Amendment Advocates will offer a silent prayer for the souls of all those victims of gun violence, who died because laws already on the books have not been enforced. —Billy Bob Carbine
You can’t fool us. D-Day was when all of us TV stations were supposed to begin broadcasting only in “Digital.” —Channel 19 News Bimbo Trish the Dish
Not even Sheree Paolello would be that stupid. —Dan Carroll, WCPO-TV’s Chopper 9 Helicopter Reporter
Wait a minute. Ever since Friday, my last name has started with a “D.” —Mrs. Dardis
This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental, especially Obama and Crooked Hillary Supporters.
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